Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,489
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,489
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
1
Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff [working title]
by SugaryLime
I've let Orlando and his Elven Alter-Egoâ„¢ loose on this bugger, mostly cos I like the idea of the two of them meeting and having hot dirty seks. Preferably in a tube station whilst minding the gap. Nevermind.
The original text, complete with inane author's notes, has not been altered in any way. Just broken to bits and the mickey thoroughly removed. :grin:
Orlando and Legolas enter the theatre, loaded down with popcorn and Coke. They choose seats in the front row in case they decide to shag later, as there is more floor space.
Orlando: . . . so there was Lij, yeah? All trussed up like a Christmas goose, and Viggo was about to-
Legolas: Ehm, maybe you ought to finish this later? There are people watching.
Orlando: Oh, right. [waves to readers & blows a kiss at Veevs who blows him back. Er, blows a kiss back]
Legolas: Thanks for sitting through this with me. I don't think I could handle this alone. I think I may be fucking Eowyn in this one. Or a Mary Sue disguised as Eowyn.
Orlando: Yeah, those Mary Sues are a dodgy lot. You can repay me later.
Legolas: Yes. Yes, I will. But I think we should get started. So we can get finished.
//
Title: UnPlaned Love
Rating: General, for now?
//
Legolas: [snags tunic on unplaned love]
Orlando: Careful there, mate. Rough edges.
//
A/n: I have NOT seen Lord of the ring twin towers, how ever I have watched the first, and know little about twin tower,
//
Legolas: Perhaps you've not seen it because IT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST!
Orlando: Repeat after me, yeah? The Lord of the Rings-uh. More than one ring. Rings-UH.
Legolas: How can people who aren't familiar with canon write factioction? Doesn't writing fan fiction require you to be a fan?
Orlando: Who the fuck knows? All I'm familiar with is the fact that I'm gonna get some Elf-Lovin' tonight.
Legolas: [sproing]
//
I have not read the book sorry to say. I wish I did, that's why I'm going to say that this is an A/U because I can't indeed map out the whole thing, and the different characterized that I've stumbled upon that people label as Eowyn, confuses me.
//
Orlando: Huh? Can we get an Idiot-to-English translator in here?
Legolas: My guess is people asking this bint what her own *name* is may confuse her.
Orlando: That'd be a good guess.
//
For some make her this person, with great pride that she lashes at EVERYONE, and others make her this sweet kind person in which, fights for peace when needed to help others. As I said there are many, but I'm going to do this my way, so no flames I after all have warned you. Pleasad aad and enjoy, and if you like my fics that feel free to visit my site:
www.freewebs.com/legolaseowyn/
If you like the paring Bobby and Rogue check out my other site
www.geocities.com/ultimate_marie_dancanto
I'm going to try and make a fanlist for Legolas and Eowyn. For now, enjoy.
//
Legolas: Riight. Now that we've seen pages of excuses for her ineptitude, maybe we can move along?
Orlando: Watch out for that lashing pride. Could lose an eye.
Legolas: Or a mitten.
//
Slowly she slid the thin comb teeth through the vines of her long golden tress; that poured pass her shoulders and slowly halted it's growth mid-back.
//
Orlando: What the fuck? She's got bloody *vines* growing out of her head?
Legolas: Vines that suddenly stop growing mid-back. Slowly. Where the *fuck* is that translator?
Orlando: [reaches into popcorn tub at the same time as Legolas and their hands touch]
//
It had been hours since the kind, sun showered Rohan with it's graceful smile bringing, life to every sleeping human, animal, and creatures.
//
Orlando: Captain Kirk? Is that you?
Legolas: Nope. Just some fangirl with fuck-awful punctuation skills. Kiss me.
Orlando: [climbs into Legolas' lap and pashes him senseless]
Legolas: Thanks. Needed that.
//
Yet something keep her halted before her mirror that reflected, her image, her TRUE otter image!
//
Legolas: Eowyn's a small, furry aquatic mammal? That explains sooo much.
Orlando: Like the fishy smell?
//
Not the image many men told her she held, or the image women too had spoken of her.
//
Orlando: Um-kay. So what she looks like in the mirror isn't what she really looks like?
Legolas: Or something.
//
She was gratefully, yes, for their many praise on her clean lush skin, and brilliantly long golden hair, and her gray-blue eyes that called orginallity to her being.
//
Orlando: Hey! Give Dom's eyes back to him!
Legolas: How did this one ever make it past primary? Not saying much for the American school system.
American Readers: Hey! That's so, like, not nice! English people are so, like, gay stu stuff! [throw rocks at SugaryLime]
SugaryLime: [ducks] Yeah, we are. [grabs nearest girl and snogs her silly]
//
Those were only images and words that they spoke of her, but she needed more than that of from a man, and woman.
//
Orlando: Eowyn digs chicks?
Legolas: Hello? Tomboy Sheild-maiden who dresses in drag and goes to battle? Nothing gay about her, no sir.
//
She needed to know herself, and before her the mirror shown her everything that she proud held and shown to others with great pride. She shown them EVERYTHING, yes everything, but nothing at the same time, for all she had shown them were her outward appearance.
//
Orlando: Legolas?
Legolas: Yeah?
Orlando: Hold me.
Legolas: "˜Kay.
//
For after all that was all they held interested in they would not care about how she felt inside, what she liked.
//
Legolas: I care about how *you* feel inside. Inside *me*.
Orlando: Oh, god. How about now?
Legolas: Yeah, now's good. [strips off leggings and bends over for Orlando]
Orlando: [gives Legolas Best Rimming Everâ„¢, sucks him off, and then fucks him with nothing but Legolas' own come for lube]
Legolas: [collapses on theatre floor thanking the Valar for his eenceence]
//
They didn't care about the little things that flow about in her head, nor did they care about what held great interstate in her heart she after all was indeed the holder of them, but had no one who cared for them.
//
Legolas: [experiencing Post Shagmatic Stress Syndromeâ„¢ *nods to Nisi*]
Orlando: So she's got an untended motorway in her heart? Weeds growing all over the central reservation. Littered with rubbish.
//
Her eyes never left the smooth surface, no for it wasn't smooth it was rough, yes her eyes never left the rough surface of the now lying mirror.
//
Legolas: Which was Ro Rough or smooth? If it's rough, how the hell does it reflect anything?
Orlando: Too many questions. Just go with it. For instance, I'm not even gonna ask how an inanimate object can be untruthful.
//
All her left, it lied to her made her believe she was beautiful, that she was a diamond among many stones. When all she had been was just another one of those stones, trying to break on top of the others to find what her heart desired. But what did it?
//
Legolas: OKAY! We get it! Eowyn's got self-esteem issues. Fuck!
//
Lately, dreams paged her sleep,
//
Orlando: On its new Ericsson mobile. . .
//
dreams not night mares. But dream of a once ally that fought to save not only her people, but many others.
//
Orlando: Wonder if that's the same Ally from the London Countrysideâ„¢ who's trying to fuck my boyfr- er, Lij.
Legolas: Ally? Ally and *Shalini* Ally? The beauty therapist?
Orlando: You know her?
Legolas: No. I'm just a big fan of "Band of Rusty Gold." Loved you in the FMS Shirtâ„¢ by the way.
//
And help with in helms death,
//
Both: [pissing themselves laughing]
//
He was unlike Aragron he was swift, gracefully, beautiful, ...Legolas...She didn't know when but she had started to gain feeling for the elf.
//
Legolas: Aragron?
Orlando: She loooves you! She thinks you're graaaceful! *nods to "˜Miss Congeniality.'*
Legolas: Oh, eat me.
Orlando: Already did.
Legolas: I know. I liked it. Do it again.
Orlando: "˜Kay. [does it again]
Legolas: [thankful for SugaryLime's Rimjob Fetishâ„¢]
//
But she knew he would have none to offer to her, for Elves never loved Humans, right? But in her dreams he did, he care to such great extend that he FOUGHT for her, not that he wouldn't, of course he would he was after all kind. But he FOUGHT, in such a battle beyond the weaponry just for HER. And than he made love to HER, not anyone else!
//
Orlando: Could this make any *less* sense, please?
Legolas: She is right, though. I have got none to offer her.
Orlando: I know, cos it's all *mine*.
Legolas: Ooh, I love it when you get all possessive like that! Take me!
SugaryLime has decided that since this chapter is unbearably long, she will break it up into two parts. Stay tuned for part 1-point-2 of "Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff."
by SugaryLime
I've let Orlando and his Elven Alter-Egoâ„¢ loose on this bugger, mostly cos I like the idea of the two of them meeting and having hot dirty seks. Preferably in a tube station whilst minding the gap. Nevermind.
The original text, complete with inane author's notes, has not been altered in any way. Just broken to bits and the mickey thoroughly removed. :grin:
Orlando and Legolas enter the theatre, loaded down with popcorn and Coke. They choose seats in the front row in case they decide to shag later, as there is more floor space.
Orlando: . . . so there was Lij, yeah? All trussed up like a Christmas goose, and Viggo was about to-
Legolas: Ehm, maybe you ought to finish this later? There are people watching.
Orlando: Oh, right. [waves to readers & blows a kiss at Veevs who blows him back. Er, blows a kiss back]
Legolas: Thanks for sitting through this with me. I don't think I could handle this alone. I think I may be fucking Eowyn in this one. Or a Mary Sue disguised as Eowyn.
Orlando: Yeah, those Mary Sues are a dodgy lot. You can repay me later.
Legolas: Yes. Yes, I will. But I think we should get started. So we can get finished.
//
Title: UnPlaned Love
Rating: General, for now?
//
Legolas: [snags tunic on unplaned love]
Orlando: Careful there, mate. Rough edges.
//
A/n: I have NOT seen Lord of the ring twin towers, how ever I have watched the first, and know little about twin tower,
//
Legolas: Perhaps you've not seen it because IT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST!
Orlando: Repeat after me, yeah? The Lord of the Rings-uh. More than one ring. Rings-UH.
Legolas: How can people who aren't familiar with canon write factioction? Doesn't writing fan fiction require you to be a fan?
Orlando: Who the fuck knows? All I'm familiar with is the fact that I'm gonna get some Elf-Lovin' tonight.
Legolas: [sproing]
//
I have not read the book sorry to say. I wish I did, that's why I'm going to say that this is an A/U because I can't indeed map out the whole thing, and the different characterized that I've stumbled upon that people label as Eowyn, confuses me.
//
Orlando: Huh? Can we get an Idiot-to-English translator in here?
Legolas: My guess is people asking this bint what her own *name* is may confuse her.
Orlando: That'd be a good guess.
//
For some make her this person, with great pride that she lashes at EVERYONE, and others make her this sweet kind person in which, fights for peace when needed to help others. As I said there are many, but I'm going to do this my way, so no flames I after all have warned you. Pleasad aad and enjoy, and if you like my fics that feel free to visit my site:
www.freewebs.com/legolaseowyn/
If you like the paring Bobby and Rogue check out my other site
www.geocities.com/ultimate_marie_dancanto
I'm going to try and make a fanlist for Legolas and Eowyn. For now, enjoy.
//
Legolas: Riight. Now that we've seen pages of excuses for her ineptitude, maybe we can move along?
Orlando: Watch out for that lashing pride. Could lose an eye.
Legolas: Or a mitten.
//
Slowly she slid the thin comb teeth through the vines of her long golden tress; that poured pass her shoulders and slowly halted it's growth mid-back.
//
Orlando: What the fuck? She's got bloody *vines* growing out of her head?
Legolas: Vines that suddenly stop growing mid-back. Slowly. Where the *fuck* is that translator?
Orlando: [reaches into popcorn tub at the same time as Legolas and their hands touch]
//
It had been hours since the kind, sun showered Rohan with it's graceful smile bringing, life to every sleeping human, animal, and creatures.
//
Orlando: Captain Kirk? Is that you?
Legolas: Nope. Just some fangirl with fuck-awful punctuation skills. Kiss me.
Orlando: [climbs into Legolas' lap and pashes him senseless]
Legolas: Thanks. Needed that.
//
Yet something keep her halted before her mirror that reflected, her image, her TRUE otter image!
//
Legolas: Eowyn's a small, furry aquatic mammal? That explains sooo much.
Orlando: Like the fishy smell?
//
Not the image many men told her she held, or the image women too had spoken of her.
//
Orlando: Um-kay. So what she looks like in the mirror isn't what she really looks like?
Legolas: Or something.
//
She was gratefully, yes, for their many praise on her clean lush skin, and brilliantly long golden hair, and her gray-blue eyes that called orginallity to her being.
//
Orlando: Hey! Give Dom's eyes back to him!
Legolas: How did this one ever make it past primary? Not saying much for the American school system.
American Readers: Hey! That's so, like, not nice! English people are so, like, gay stu stuff! [throw rocks at SugaryLime]
SugaryLime: [ducks] Yeah, we are. [grabs nearest girl and snogs her silly]
//
Those were only images and words that they spoke of her, but she needed more than that of from a man, and woman.
//
Orlando: Eowyn digs chicks?
Legolas: Hello? Tomboy Sheild-maiden who dresses in drag and goes to battle? Nothing gay about her, no sir.
//
She needed to know herself, and before her the mirror shown her everything that she proud held and shown to others with great pride. She shown them EVERYTHING, yes everything, but nothing at the same time, for all she had shown them were her outward appearance.
//
Orlando: Legolas?
Legolas: Yeah?
Orlando: Hold me.
Legolas: "˜Kay.
//
For after all that was all they held interested in they would not care about how she felt inside, what she liked.
//
Legolas: I care about how *you* feel inside. Inside *me*.
Orlando: Oh, god. How about now?
Legolas: Yeah, now's good. [strips off leggings and bends over for Orlando]
Orlando: [gives Legolas Best Rimming Everâ„¢, sucks him off, and then fucks him with nothing but Legolas' own come for lube]
Legolas: [collapses on theatre floor thanking the Valar for his eenceence]
//
They didn't care about the little things that flow about in her head, nor did they care about what held great interstate in her heart she after all was indeed the holder of them, but had no one who cared for them.
//
Legolas: [experiencing Post Shagmatic Stress Syndromeâ„¢ *nods to Nisi*]
Orlando: So she's got an untended motorway in her heart? Weeds growing all over the central reservation. Littered with rubbish.
//
Her eyes never left the smooth surface, no for it wasn't smooth it was rough, yes her eyes never left the rough surface of the now lying mirror.
//
Legolas: Which was Ro Rough or smooth? If it's rough, how the hell does it reflect anything?
Orlando: Too many questions. Just go with it. For instance, I'm not even gonna ask how an inanimate object can be untruthful.
//
All her left, it lied to her made her believe she was beautiful, that she was a diamond among many stones. When all she had been was just another one of those stones, trying to break on top of the others to find what her heart desired. But what did it?
//
Legolas: OKAY! We get it! Eowyn's got self-esteem issues. Fuck!
//
Lately, dreams paged her sleep,
//
Orlando: On its new Ericsson mobile. . .
//
dreams not night mares. But dream of a once ally that fought to save not only her people, but many others.
//
Orlando: Wonder if that's the same Ally from the London Countrysideâ„¢ who's trying to fuck my boyfr- er, Lij.
Legolas: Ally? Ally and *Shalini* Ally? The beauty therapist?
Orlando: You know her?
Legolas: No. I'm just a big fan of "Band of Rusty Gold." Loved you in the FMS Shirtâ„¢ by the way.
//
And help with in helms death,
//
Both: [pissing themselves laughing]
//
He was unlike Aragron he was swift, gracefully, beautiful, ...Legolas...She didn't know when but she had started to gain feeling for the elf.
//
Legolas: Aragron?
Orlando: She loooves you! She thinks you're graaaceful! *nods to "˜Miss Congeniality.'*
Legolas: Oh, eat me.
Orlando: Already did.
Legolas: I know. I liked it. Do it again.
Orlando: "˜Kay. [does it again]
Legolas: [thankful for SugaryLime's Rimjob Fetishâ„¢]
//
But she knew he would have none to offer to her, for Elves never loved Humans, right? But in her dreams he did, he care to such great extend that he FOUGHT for her, not that he wouldn't, of course he would he was after all kind. But he FOUGHT, in such a battle beyond the weaponry just for HER. And than he made love to HER, not anyone else!
//
Orlando: Could this make any *less* sense, please?
Legolas: She is right, though. I have got none to offer her.
Orlando: I know, cos it's all *mine*.
Legolas: Ooh, I love it when you get all possessive like that! Take me!
SugaryLime has decided that since this chapter is unbearably long, she will break it up into two parts. Stay tuned for part 1-point-2 of "Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff."