But He Flirts With Everyone, Doesn't He?
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Lord of the Rings Movies › General › Lord of the Ring Stars
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Adult ++
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2
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3,703
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › General › Lord of the Ring Stars
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
3,703
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is work of fiction! I do not know the celebrity(ies) I am writing about, and I do not profit from these writings.
One
Title: But He Flirts With Everyone, Doesn't He?
Pairings: Orlando Bloom/Elijah Wood, Billy Boyd/Dominic Monaghan.
Rating: Overall: NC-17. This chapter: R.
Summary: The boys play a friendly game. Told from Elijah's point of view. Angsty.
Archive: Limey Sugar; all others please ask.
Beta: Thanks to my lovely American friend Angela who helped me in keeping Elijah from sounding too British. You're the best, love!
Notes: To my knowledge, none of the events described in this *fiction* ever happened. That is why it is called fiction. I do not know any of these people personally (much to my chagrin), and therefore cannot make factual statements regarding any of their respective sexual orientations. There is no intent to cause harm to any person or make a profit from this writing.
Thoughts are in --...--, and emphases are written as *...*.
Feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism are always welcome at: limey_sugar@yahoo.co.uk
*~*~*~*~*
It must have been the beer. We drank a lot of it. Especially Orli. Orli and Billy. Boy, Billy sure can pound 'em. If it hadn't been for the insane amount of alcohol we've been drinking, I don't think Orli would have come up with the idea. He thinks we should play Spin the Bottle. I remind him we're all *guys*. He doesn't seem to care.
"Come now, it'll be fun!" Orli is adamant. Dom just looks at him like he's grown another head. Besides the little one he thinks with on most occasions. Whorlando Bloom.
"Yeah, Orli. A blast. No offence, but I can think of a few million other people I'd rather kiss than you lot." He casts a glance at Billy, but I can't read it. Damned actors.
"Thanks, Dom. Love you too!" Orli drained his bottle of beer and placed it on its side on the floor. Not like there isn't ten or twelve or twenty other empties he could have used. "Really, what are you afraid of? You might like it."
"That's what he's afraid of." Leave it to Billy.
"Sod off, Bill. Lij doesn't want to either."
"I didn't hear Elijah say that," Orlando's teasing now, but I know we aren?t going to hear the end of this until he gets his way. "Did I, Lij?"
"No, you didn't," I sigh, and the game has begun.
*~*~*~*~*
"I want to spin first!" Orlando is entirely too enthusiastic as he grabs the bottle and sends it spinning across the floor. It lands on Dom and he nearly turns white. Another glance at Billy.
"Pucker up, mate," Billy's laughing till tears run down his face, and Orli's slinking his way over to poor Dom. Even I have to admit he's rather sexy- for a guy. Orlando, that is. Hell, Dom's not bad, but there's just something about Orlando that could turn a straight man queer; I know, I've actually considered the idea.
I think Billy, Dom, and I all expect Orli to stick his tongue down Dom's throat, but he doesn't. No, he kisses him on the forehead like he's a little kid. Billy, who I realised of a sudden stopped breathing, now breathes again.
"See now, that wasn't so bad," Billy is still laughing, and beer almost comes out his nose. He stops laughing when Dom spins him. "Hold it right there. Now don?t you be tryin' no funny stuff with me! A peck on the cheek will do me fine." His eyes get all serious and very illyilly.
"Oh, so it's all fine and dandy when the elf-slut wants to shag *me* senseless, but now when it's *your* go, you want me to play nice."
"I never said anything about *shagging* you, Dom," Orli interjects. "Senseless or otherwise."
"Wishful thinking, eh, Dom?" Dom blushes when I say this, and we all tease him about wanting Orli. Even Orli.
"Bloody Hell, you should have told me weeks ago! Think of all the time we've wasted!"
"Hey! I still haven't gotten my kiss!" Billy is back to being Billy again; Billy who is too plastered to care what any one of us thinks.
"Give Billy his sodding kiss, Dom, before he pisses himself."
Billy got his kiss alright. He got good and kissed. Orli and I are sitting here watching a live tonsillectomy. Okay boys, we're at twenty seconds. . .thirty. . .
"Ahem. Remember us? Orlando and Elijah?"
For some reason, Billy flips me the bird over Dom's shoulder.
"Shit, Lij, I think uh, well I don't know what I think."
"I think Merry and Pippin are screwing." Oh. My. God. "And they didn't want to tell us."
"Appears so, mate." Now Orlando turns to me with a positively feral look in his eyes. "Think we can top 'em?"
"Wha-?" Okay, Orlando Bloom did *not* just ask me to make out with him. Did he? He must have, because his tongue is in my mouth. Holy shit, his *tongue* is in my *mouth*.
I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I have never kissed nor been kissed by a guy before. I think I'm gonna pass out. I think I am going to fucking collapse right here with Orli attached, his tongue doing things to my tongue that I wasn't aware tongues could do.
Wait a minute. He's pulling away. He's pulling away and standing up. Dom and Billy have managed to stop sucking face long enough to see Orli stand and stagger-walk to the bathroom like he's pissed off. Or embarrassed. Or both. Now they look at me.
"Lij?" Dom. "Lij, what's with Orli?"
"I didn't kiss him back." I think I didn't. I'm too drunk on beer and Orlando to know for sure.
"He fancies you, Elijah. Has for sometime." Billy's beer-laden words hit me like a tonne of bricks.
"He fancies me? Like you mean he *like* likes me? Like *that*?" Of course he means like *that*.
"He flirts like mad! You've got to be blind not to notice."
"But he flirts with everyone, doesn't he?"
To be continued. . .
Pairings: Orlando Bloom/Elijah Wood, Billy Boyd/Dominic Monaghan.
Rating: Overall: NC-17. This chapter: R.
Summary: The boys play a friendly game. Told from Elijah's point of view. Angsty.
Archive: Limey Sugar; all others please ask.
Beta: Thanks to my lovely American friend Angela who helped me in keeping Elijah from sounding too British. You're the best, love!
Notes: To my knowledge, none of the events described in this *fiction* ever happened. That is why it is called fiction. I do not know any of these people personally (much to my chagrin), and therefore cannot make factual statements regarding any of their respective sexual orientations. There is no intent to cause harm to any person or make a profit from this writing.
Thoughts are in --...--, and emphases are written as *...*.
Feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism are always welcome at: limey_sugar@yahoo.co.uk
*~*~*~*~*
It must have been the beer. We drank a lot of it. Especially Orli. Orli and Billy. Boy, Billy sure can pound 'em. If it hadn't been for the insane amount of alcohol we've been drinking, I don't think Orli would have come up with the idea. He thinks we should play Spin the Bottle. I remind him we're all *guys*. He doesn't seem to care.
"Come now, it'll be fun!" Orli is adamant. Dom just looks at him like he's grown another head. Besides the little one he thinks with on most occasions. Whorlando Bloom.
"Yeah, Orli. A blast. No offence, but I can think of a few million other people I'd rather kiss than you lot." He casts a glance at Billy, but I can't read it. Damned actors.
"Thanks, Dom. Love you too!" Orli drained his bottle of beer and placed it on its side on the floor. Not like there isn't ten or twelve or twenty other empties he could have used. "Really, what are you afraid of? You might like it."
"That's what he's afraid of." Leave it to Billy.
"Sod off, Bill. Lij doesn't want to either."
"I didn't hear Elijah say that," Orlando's teasing now, but I know we aren?t going to hear the end of this until he gets his way. "Did I, Lij?"
"No, you didn't," I sigh, and the game has begun.
*~*~*~*~*
"I want to spin first!" Orlando is entirely too enthusiastic as he grabs the bottle and sends it spinning across the floor. It lands on Dom and he nearly turns white. Another glance at Billy.
"Pucker up, mate," Billy's laughing till tears run down his face, and Orli's slinking his way over to poor Dom. Even I have to admit he's rather sexy- for a guy. Orlando, that is. Hell, Dom's not bad, but there's just something about Orlando that could turn a straight man queer; I know, I've actually considered the idea.
I think Billy, Dom, and I all expect Orli to stick his tongue down Dom's throat, but he doesn't. No, he kisses him on the forehead like he's a little kid. Billy, who I realised of a sudden stopped breathing, now breathes again.
"See now, that wasn't so bad," Billy is still laughing, and beer almost comes out his nose. He stops laughing when Dom spins him. "Hold it right there. Now don?t you be tryin' no funny stuff with me! A peck on the cheek will do me fine." His eyes get all serious and very illyilly.
"Oh, so it's all fine and dandy when the elf-slut wants to shag *me* senseless, but now when it's *your* go, you want me to play nice."
"I never said anything about *shagging* you, Dom," Orli interjects. "Senseless or otherwise."
"Wishful thinking, eh, Dom?" Dom blushes when I say this, and we all tease him about wanting Orli. Even Orli.
"Bloody Hell, you should have told me weeks ago! Think of all the time we've wasted!"
"Hey! I still haven't gotten my kiss!" Billy is back to being Billy again; Billy who is too plastered to care what any one of us thinks.
"Give Billy his sodding kiss, Dom, before he pisses himself."
Billy got his kiss alright. He got good and kissed. Orli and I are sitting here watching a live tonsillectomy. Okay boys, we're at twenty seconds. . .thirty. . .
"Ahem. Remember us? Orlando and Elijah?"
For some reason, Billy flips me the bird over Dom's shoulder.
"Shit, Lij, I think uh, well I don't know what I think."
"I think Merry and Pippin are screwing." Oh. My. God. "And they didn't want to tell us."
"Appears so, mate." Now Orlando turns to me with a positively feral look in his eyes. "Think we can top 'em?"
"Wha-?" Okay, Orlando Bloom did *not* just ask me to make out with him. Did he? He must have, because his tongue is in my mouth. Holy shit, his *tongue* is in my *mouth*.
I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I have never kissed nor been kissed by a guy before. I think I'm gonna pass out. I think I am going to fucking collapse right here with Orli attached, his tongue doing things to my tongue that I wasn't aware tongues could do.
Wait a minute. He's pulling away. He's pulling away and standing up. Dom and Billy have managed to stop sucking face long enough to see Orli stand and stagger-walk to the bathroom like he's pissed off. Or embarrassed. Or both. Now they look at me.
"Lij?" Dom. "Lij, what's with Orli?"
"I didn't kiss him back." I think I didn't. I'm too drunk on beer and Orlando to know for sure.
"He fancies you, Elijah. Has for sometime." Billy's beer-laden words hit me like a tonne of bricks.
"He fancies me? Like you mean he *like* likes me? Like *that*?" Of course he means like *that*.
"He flirts like mad! You've got to be blind not to notice."
"But he flirts with everyone, doesn't he?"
To be continued. . .