Darkest Before the Dawn

Title: Darkest Before the Dawn
Author: J.D. Rush
Website: http://itak.slashcity.net
Pairing: Legolas/Haldir; Legolas/Gimli
Category: Romance? Friendship? Hurt/Comfort? Lots going on here.
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for non-sexual violence, interspecies relationship, and displays of m/m affection. Warning? Character death per Peter Jackson's movie canon.
Summary: An AU ending to the Battle of Helm's Deep. Legolas loses one love, but perhaps another is waiting in the wings.
Spoilers: The Two Towers, movie canon.
Disclaimer: These lovelies belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and New Line Cinemas. I'm just borrowing them.
Author's Notes: The action in this story does not follow Tolkien's version of Helm's Deep--then again, I've taken liberties with Peter Jackson's version, too. Also, I'm not an expert on elven burial rituals. I asked a couple of friends who are into Tolkien, and they couldn't answer my questions. So I just wrote what sounded good and fairly logical. I hope I don't offend the purists too much. As for the elvish used in the story, I referenced some sites on the Internet. If I got anything wrong, I apologize. Please contact me on how I can fix any errors.

Darkest Before the Dawn
By J. D. Rush

The battle seemed to rage on forever--a night without end. Wave after wave of deadly Uruk-Hai and orcs stormed the fortress, only to be repelled--barely--again and again. The number of defenders, already at a numerical disadvantage, was dwindling quickly as the dead piled up outside the walls of Helm's Deep. And still, Legolas and Gimli fought on, side by side.

"29!" Gimli crowed, as his axe cleaved a creature in two.

"Congratulations," Legolas commented from behind, his knife plunging through the rancid flesh of his own Uruk-Hai soldier. "Although I passed that number an hour ago."

Gimli muttered something under his breath that may have been, "Arrogant Elf", but the words were lost in the din of battle, and before he could answer with a proper retort, yet another enemy was upon him. He was so busy he never saw the orc approaching from his left, sword overhead, ready to strike. He need not have worried--Legolas spied the would-be attacker, and in the blink of an eye, an arrow had pierced its neck, its body added to the growing pile of corpses.

"Thanks, friend," Gimli panted, delivering a deathblow to the foe he was fighting. "I owe you."

"And should you live to repay all your debts to me, you shall die a very old Dwarf indeed," came Legolas' haughty reply. Only the twinkle in the Elf's eye, and the slight curve of his lips let Gimli know he was being teased once more.

"Blasted Elves," Gimli grumbled, this time loud enough for his companion to hear, and the battle continued.

Their familiar friendly bantering went a long way towards hiding their fear that this time Good was not going to triumph over Evil. Legolas had been uneasy with this battle right from the start, and with good reason. They were greatly outnumbered, even with the unexpected--and most appreciated--arrival of the Lórien archers. The Rohirrim had quickly become disheartened, and though they fought on bravely, they knew it was a losing struggle. Old men who had no business dressed for combat, young boys who should have been in hiding with their mothers and sisters--these were the 'warriors' trying to defeat an infinite army of death.

"Daybreak," Aragorn had told them before the battle had begun. "Just get me to dawn. That is all I ask." He did not say why, but if that was what Aragorn needed of them, then Legolas and Gimli would give it to him.

However, with dawn stubbornly refusing to make an appearance, even Legolas was starting to despair. He looked out at the sea of black death rolling in upon them--he looked at the ocean of blood that had been spilled at his feet. Around him his comrades-in-arms were falling. The ground shook, and their world thundered and quaked as yet another attack was mounted, the Uruk-Hai bound and determined to breech the walls of the fortress, no matter the cost. No matter how many were dead. Families without fathers or brothers or sons--this is what Legolas saw.

Only the knowledge that Saruman would not stop at Helm's Deep forced Legolas to raise his bow and fire once more, killing yet another enemy. No, Saruman would continue on his path of destruction, taking each village and town in Middle-earth one by one, until none were left to oppose him. The peoples, the forests, the beauty and peace--all gone. Legolas could see it clearly if he stopped to think about it, which he tried not to do. The potential loss of his family, his friends, his home--that was what drove the Mirkwood Elf. Knowing the quest could not fail. Knowing the Ring must be destroyed. Knowing that he and Gimli and Aragorn and the rest of their rag-tag army were the only things keeping Saurman from his goal.

But dawn was still nowhere to be found, and Legolas was beginning to think he would never see Her again.

* * * * * * * * * *

When the end came, it was startling and swift. The first rays of the sunlight--the blare of a horn--the deafening sound of horse-beats and Riders--the anguished screams of the conquered--the triumphant roar of the victorious. And in the middle of it all rode Gandalf the White, his righteous wrath enveloping him, adding to his already immeasurable power.

The silence that echoed throughout the land seemed louder than the battle at its fiercest. But Helm's Deep was still standing, albeit battered around the edges. It took the soldiers that remained a few moments to realize the fight was over, and against all odds, they had won.

In the ensuing celebration, friends were separated from each other. It was only as Gimli and Aragorn were standing outside the fortress greeting their saviors that Gimli noticed Legolas was not with them. "Where is Legolas?" he demanded, his eyes instantly scanning the surrounding area.

Aragorn, who was busy helping Gandalf down from Shadowfax, quickly glanced around before answering, "He was with us just a moment ago."

"That was a moment ago," Gimli countered. "And what of now?"

"I am sure he is around, Master Dwarf," Gandalf responded, landing lightly on his feet beside his horse.

But Gimli barely heard the wizard speak, already pushing his way back into the stronghold, his heart filling with dread. He was so busy shoving jubilant soldiers out of his way that he almost tripped over his friend, kneeling on the ground by one of the stone parapets.

"Legolas! You gave us all a scare!" he started to scold. "How dare you just wander off. . .?" He paused in mid-sentence as he noticed for the first time someone lying on the ground, his head appearing to rest in the Elf's lap. Stepping forward, he peeked over the slim shoulder of his friend, a gasp of surprise echoing loud in the air. "Haldir. . .?"

The March warden lay unmoving, a gaping sword wound to his chest that had long since stopped bleeding; more blood, an obscene amount of blood, pooled on the ground around Legolas' legs. "He is dead," Legolas whispered so softly that Gimli barely heard him, the Elf's long fingers continuing to gently stroke Haldir's silvery hair. Closing his eyes, Legolas then bent over his fallen comrade and began to quietly sob.

Gimli was at a loss as to what he should do. He had never before seen this side of Legolas, or indeed, any Elf--though he would be the first to admit his knowledge of Elven-folk was rather limited. The shock of seeing a lifeless Haldir was matched only by the shock of seeing stalwart, serene, Legolas crying like a newborn babe. His heart went out to his hurting friend and instinctively he wished to reach out and hold Legolas close, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and ease his pain.

That was the scene that Aragorn came upon a few moments later. He instantly took in the details, and just as quickly turned away, not just to give Legolas privacy, but also to control and contain his own grief at discovering the death of his long-time friend.

"Where is Gandalf?" Gimli asked, his voice sounding unnaturally loud in the deafening silence.

"With King Theoden," came Aragorn's raspy reply, "plotting our next move."

They were quiet a minute, the stillness broken only by the Elf's hitching sobs. Finally, Gimli could stand it no longer. "What shall we do?" he demanded desperately, gesturing to the pair on the ground.

Blinking back his own tears of loss, Aragorn stood straight and commanded in a soft, firm voice, "It would be best to get him away from this place. Take him to the baths below the fortress. Get him cleaned up, and yourself as well." He released a deep calming breath before he finished, "I shall manage the situation here."

Gimli nodded in agreement--a hot bath sounded good. It might not ease his mind, but it would definitely soothe his aching body. Holding out a bloodstained hand to his friend, he gently urged, "Come, Legolas. Let me take care of you."

The tormented eyes that turned up to Gimli were filled with grief, reflecting every year and every sorrow of the Elf's long life. Gimli felt his heart shatter at the anguish written all over his friend's tear-stained face, and again wished he knew what to do to ease his suffering. Ignoring the hand the Dwarf held out to him, Legolas gracefully stood, eyes downcast, lashes still wet with tears. Without a word, he followed Gimli into the depths of Helm's Deep.

Aragorn watched his two companions depart. He had expected at least a token argument from Legolas over being ordered below ground. That he went so quietly and passively with Gimli was a cause for concern, but Aragorn had no time to dwell on it. He gazed down at Haldir and sighed heavily.

Duty called him once more.

* * * * * * * * *
LEGOLAS:

So much death. So much destruction. So many Elven souls. . .gone. In the blink of an eye. I had heard stories of great wars all my life, songs sung of glorious victories on the battlefield. But there was no glory here--just needless suffering and death.

I had not expected this when I agreed to accompany the Ringbearer. Nothing could have prepared for the horrors of last night, nor for the heaviness now weighing on my heart. The bodies of my cousins lay scattered, dead and broken, around the fortress--immortal fires snuffed out for the sake of freedom. A noble cause to be sure, but it did nothing to relieve the feeling of loss growing inside of me.

Of course, my grief would be minor compared to Haldir's. He had known these Elves all his life, had trained with them, had been their commander for many years. I knew not if his brothers were among the soldiers who had come to our aid. If so, I knew not if they had survived. That uncertainty made me desperate to find my old friend, to make sure he was safe, and to comfort him in any way I could.

Speaking of missing friends, I had also managed to somehow misplace Gimli, and I was anxious to find him as well. My brethren would surely think me strange for wanting to seek out a Dwarf's company in this time of chaos, but that is only because they do not know a friendship such as the one we share. Through long, perilous months, I had come to know and trust Gimli. I admired his strength of character and enjoyed his companionship. Despite the danger and horror that had shadowed our footsteps since our journey began, a cherished friendship had developed between us--a bond so unlikely and extraordinary that had become a lifeline for me.

As I crossed over the battlements, I happened to notice Gimli below in the courtyard with Aragorn. They were both greeting Gandalf and Eomer and the other Riders who had come to our aid. I was just making my way to join them when I saw *him*. . . laying where he had fallen.



I dropped to my knees and rested his head in my lap. Pressing my fingers to his cold throat, I prayed to feel any sign of life flowing through him, but I was met with only stillness. My hand slid down his body to rest over his heart--always so strong as it would pulse beneath my touch. Now it was silent, the song of his life force no longer to be heard. Pulling my hand away, it was stained red with his blood.

When I had seen Haldir and his archers approach the gate, I was filled with both relief and trepidation. I was glad for the reinforcements, but in my heart, I felt the hopelessness of the fight. I cared not for myself, but I wanted no harm to befall my friend. My mentor.

My lover.

He had been the model of the perfect commander as he greeted King Theoden and his men; I had received nothing more than a quick glance and a curt nod. From his actions, no one would think we were more than simple acquaintances and fellow warriors. Only I saw the familiar twinkle in his eye and inquisitive quirk of a brow when he looked at me and I had to smile, even with doom all around us. That twinkle alone was enough to raise my sinking spirits.

And for a few brief moments after the battle began, I was able to observe Haldir in action. He was truly amazing as he fought-- his strength, his stealth, his skill, and his cunning. A true warrior. I had never seen that side of him before, and it filled me with pride, and more importantly, hope.

The battle, however, quickly became fierce, and in the confusion, I soon lost track of him. If only I had paid more attention. If only I had kept him in my sights. . .

Of all the ordeals I had survived since starting this quest, this was the by far hardest to endure. "Oh, Haldir . . ." I whispered, choking back tears. "Why now. . .when I had just found you again?"

* * * * * * * * * *

"Ahhhh. . .this heat feels good," Gimli sighed as he melted into the stone wall at his back. His movement brought the water in the hot spring up to his neck, drenching both his long hair and beard. "I fear I am getting too old for this sport."

Legolas, who was sitting on a stone outcropping at the other end of the pool, did not respond to the Dwarf's comment. Instead, he stared off into space, lost in his own thoughts, while Gimli vigorously scrubbed off the battle-grime from his weary body. When Legolas continued to just sit, unmoving and seemingly oblivious to his surroundings, Gimli put down his cloth and said, "Friend, you are starting to scare me. Come. Sit by me and keep me company."

Legolas blinked once, startled out of his trance by the Dwarf's familiar gruff voice. He looked at his friend, and the rock-seat Gimli was gesturing to. He then looked down at himself, as if seeing the waist-high water for the first time. After a moment's hesitation, he stood up and walked the few steps over to join Gimli; gingerly, he sat beside him on the flat rock jutting into the pool. Close up, Gimli could see just how dirty his friend was, and yet the Elf still made no move to wash away the lingering filth.

"You look a fright," Gimli admonished, even as he rung out the washcloth and started wiping away the dirt and blood spotting the Elf's face and neck. Once clean, he nodded, "Much better. Now, tilt your head forward and close your eyes." Without comment, Legolas did as commanded.

With great care, Gimli cupped his large hands, dipped them into the pool, and poured the water over Legolas' dirty, disheveled hair. He repeated the action until the golden tresses were wetted throughout before grabbing up the lump of soap that he himself had just finished using. Rubbing it roughly between his hands, he then worked the thick lather through the Elf's hair, his blunt fingers gently scrubbing the strands until they once more gleamed like spun gold. A few handfuls of water to wash away the last traces soot and soap, and Legolas looked as good as new, except for the haunted look in his normally laughing eyes, and the fact that he had still not spoken.

Gimli sat back and sighed, knowing that Legolas was not really with him, that the Elf's mind was lost somewhere in the past. . .

* * * * * * *
~flashback~

"Are we almost there, Ada?"

"Patience, îon-nîn. Have you grown tired of our journey already?"

I smile at my father's teasing tone. "Nay, but I have waited to see Lothlórien all my life."

"Then surely you can wait a few more miles."

"Is it really as splendid as the songs make it seem?" I eagerly ask for the tenth time.

My father flashes me a patronizing smile and answers simply, "You shall see, Legolas."

I release a playful long-suffering sigh. "You are horrible, Ada. Will you tell me nothing of our destination, or of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel?"

"And spoil the surprise?” he chuckles. “I would not dream of doing so, my child."

The pounding of hoof-beats interrupts our bantering, as a group of six elves on horseback approach us. By the color of their uniforms, I take them to be members of the famed Lady's Guard, the protectors of Lórien. At the head of the formation rides an absolutely striking vision. He is broad of chest and long of leg, with a dignity and elegance usually reserved for nobility. Hair the color of white-gold frames his handsome face, his features more robust than those usually associated with our kind--full, lush lips, a strong aquiline nose, and cheekbones sculptured from the finest marble. As he pulls up in front of my father, I notice his eyes--darker than the midnight sky and sparkling as if infused with the brightest stars.

He is, perhaps, the most stunning Elf I have ever laid eyes on.

With a hand pressed over his heart, he half-bows-- a move that should not be made to look so graceful while sitting on a horse--and announces, "King Thranduil, it is good to see you again. The Lord and Lady have sent me to escort you." His voice is soft and rich, and flows over me like a river of velvet.

My father smiles. "Haldir. How good to see you again. It has been a long time."

The Guardian turns and looks at my way, his intense gaze taking in every inch of me with a single glance. Without knowing why, I find myself looking away, an unfamiliar burning touching my cheeks. "And you have company," he says, the tone slightly curious.

"This is my youngest son, Legolas," my father answers, pride lacing his words. "He has never seen your fair lands, though he has heard of their praises since he was a child. I thought now would be a good opportunity for him to experience the Golden Wood for himself."

"Ah, the jewel of Mirkwood," Haldir replies. "The rumors have not done you justice." I am flustered by his words, sure that I do not wish to know the rumors he refers to, and inexplicably feel the burning of my cheeks grow hotter. "It would be my honor to show him all Caras Galadon has to offer, my lord."

At that, I look up briefly. He repeats the gesture of putting his hand over his heart and bowing to me, even as his piercing blue eyes watch me with keen interest. Feeling completely exposed by the scrutiny, I quickly look away again, knowing my cheeks now to be a bright crimson.

If my father has noticed anything improper in Haldir's actions towards me, he fails to mention it. Instead he responds, "That sounds like an excellent idea, March warden. We accept your gracious invitation. Legolas?" The sound of my name startles me; I turn my attention back to my father, who is giving me an odd look at my strange behavior. "Does this meet with your approval?"

I again glance up at the dashing Elf sitting in front of us, a mischievous twinkle in his beautiful indigo eyes, and a hint of a smirk on his wide, pink lips. I suddenly experience an unknown fluttering in the pit of my stomach, which both frightens and thrills me. Working the words past a mouth that has gone bone-dry, I whisper, "Aye, father. I should like very much for Haldir to show me the sights of his homeland."

The smirk grows a little wider, and I pause to wonder what I have just gotten myself into.

~end of flashback~

* * * * * * * * * *

"Legolas?"

The sound of his name brought the Elf out of the past. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering if you were still with me. I have been calling your name for some time now."

Legolas lowered his eyes as he murmured, "I am sorry. I was thinking. . ."

Gimli did not ask of what, or whom, Legolas was thinking--it was quite obvious his mind was still with his fallen comrade. "I did not know you were so fond of Haldir," he commented. "Indeed, I was unaware you two had any association at all before our arrival in Lothlórien."

After a moment, Legolas finally answered, "Yes, we had a previous. . . association. . .if that is what you wish to call it."

Gimli's eyes softened as he took in Legolas' misery. "If you have no desire to continue this discussion, I understand. But if a friendly ear is what you need, I have two."

Legolas turned his weary gaze on the Dwarf, a sad, half-smile on his lips. "A friend would be most appreciated at this time, dear Gimli."

Without thinking, Gimli threw his arm around Legolas' shoulder and proclaimed, "Then a friend you shall have."

They sat in companionable silence, Legolas taking strength from Gimli's presence and spirit. Gimli, for his part, did nothing to push Legolas into sharing his thoughts; he simply hugged his friend, offering whatever comfort he could.

Many minutes passed, where the only sound to be heard was the gentle splashing of a small cascading rivulet of water as it tumbled over stones and emptied into the pool. The sound reminded Legolas of a time long ago. . . and a different waterfall.

* * * * * * * * * *
~flashback~

"Where are we going, Haldir?"

"You shall see. Someplace special."

We continue to walk further into the woods and away from the city. Though I have lived in Lothlórien for only one month, I am already in love with the lands, so different from my own Mirkwood. Haldir has been the perfect guide these past weeks, showing me everything there is to see. He takes great pride in his home, something that comes through in every word and every gesture as he points out all the different trees and vegetation that grow no place else but the Golden Wood. It had only taken a few minutes alone in his company for my initial reservations about him to quickly vanish. I found him to be friendly, intelligent, witty, and so very worldly--at least compared to myself. I had led quite a sheltered life for all my 500 years, never journeying far from home and the protective eye of my father. Haldir, however, had traveled all over Arda and had many stories to tell. Each day, I eagerly looked forward to the time when his duties were over and he had a few hours to spend with me.

Still, I would be remiss if I failed to admit that he continued to affect me in a way I had never experienced before. I found myself thinking about the handsome March warden quite often, especially at night before bedtime--his dazzling eyes, his rich voice, his warm smile gracing those perfect lips.

Aye, thoughts of those lips occupied many of my nights.

Another mile or so of hiking brings us to a pond that is fed by a small waterfall; the lush blanket of emerald green grass surrounding the pond is dotted with many fragrant white blossoms. Haldir suddenly stops and looks over at me, a triumphant smile on his gorgeous face.

"Is this what you wanted to show me?" I inquire. We had walked for nearly two hours for. . .this? “While lovely, it is nothing so spectacular, not when compared to the splendor of Caras Galadon.”

The smile slides into Haldir's familiar knowing smirk. "That is what you think, little one. Come." He walks over to the side of the waterfall and steps behind it. When I do not immediately follow, he pokes his head out and motions me to join him. "Come," he says again. "You must see this." He ducks back behind the falls again, and leaving me no choice but to follow him.

As I step behind the water, I am almost blinded by the site that is revealed to me. The cave behind the falls practically glows, the flora covering its walls giving off a spectrum of bright phosphorous colors; the sunlight streaming through the water and the cracks in the ceiling of the cave adds glitter and sparkle to the plant life. It is as a cavern of precious gems, only living plants instead of dead rocks. "I discovered this place with my brothers when we were young," Haldir tells me as he happily looks around. "I have never shared it with another." When I do not answer him right away, he adds a cocky, "Do you still think it nothing spectacular?"

" 'Tis magnificent," I finally stammer, my voice filled with awe as I soak in the grandeur surrounding me. " I have never seen such beauty in my life."

"Nor have I," Haldir answers.

I turn my gaze from the splendor before me and look at my friend, slightly unsettled to discover that he is staring at me and not at the cave walls. There is something in his iridescent eyes that I do not want to consider too closely. Indeed, if I did not know better, I would say it was a look of desire. But that is not possible . . .

Is it?

His scrutiny finally gets to be too disconcerting, and I drop my gaze in embarrassment.

"Has no one ever said that to you, little one?" he asks, curiously. "For you are quite beautiful, you know."

His words set my body on fire, and once again I feel my cheeks flush hotly. "Nay," I whisper, ducking my head further, "at least, I do not recall ever hearing such words."

"Pity." He steps forward, just enough so I feel his breath burning my skin. It is silent for a moment except for the thundering beating of my heart. I almost forget to breathe as he whispers, "Do you know what I wish to do?"

I cannot answer him--no words come to me. A pause, and suddenly a finger is pressing under my chin; he tilts my face until I am looking back up into his fathomless eyes, like the darkest of sapphires. As I feel myself falling under their spell, he purrs, "I would very much like to kiss you."

I am at a loss. Never could I have expected him to say that, to share the same feelings as I did. The thought of kissing him excites me and scares me both. If anything, the flush turns a deeper hue as I stutter, "I. . .I. . ."

"Have you never been kissed before, lirimaer?" he inquires, amusement in his voice.

"A. . .a maiden or two," I confess.

"I am no maiden," he chuckles softly.

"I can see that."

Large, strong hands cup my face with utmost tenderness. "May I?" he pleads.

Before I can answer, Haldir leans forward, as if in slow motion, and gently brushes his lips over mine. I barely have time to register their petal-softness before they are gone. I look in surprise into his dark eyes as he teases, "Surely you can do better than that, little one." Again, he gives me no time to answer before leaning in again, and the mouth that has haunted my dreams is pressing more firmly onto my own.

His tongue licks across my lower lip wickedly, then along the seam, trying to pry its way inside. With a gasp of surprise at this sensation, my mouth opens and I feel his tongue slip between my lips. It swirls and tangles with my own, gently sweeping the interior of my mouth, mapping every inch, stealing my very breath away.

By Elbereth, no maiden has ever kissed me like THIS!

Haldir's arms slip around my waist, pulling me closer, even as the kiss deepens in passion and intensity; my own hands rest upon his chest, conflicted whether to melt into him or push him away as I feel my desire and arousal growing. It is all so new and exciting and more than a little scary.

We part for air, just for a moment--through my half-lidded dazed eyes, I see Haldir is flushed with desire as well, and I swear I have never seen such a beautiful sight in my life. With a final deep breath, we once more fall into each other's arms, mouths hungrily devouring each other's.

I am quickly losing myself, my control spinning away from me, and I am uncertain if that is a good thing. Strong hands slide down from my waist and slip over my buttocks as Haldir pulls me closer still to him. Only then do I feel evidence of his own hardness pressing against my thigh.

It is too much, too fast. I am not ready for this. In a panic, I push against Haldir's chest, breaking not only the kiss but the magic of the moment. Seeing the confusion in his expressive eyes, I state rather breathlessly, "I think. . .perhaps. . .we should head back. Adar might be looking for me."

Haldir, trying to catch his own breath, replies, "If that is what you wish." His voice is much steadier than mine, though it is obvious he is no less affected by our encounter.

I start straightening out my tunic, attempting to hide my shaking hands, and answer decidedly, "Yes, that is what I wish."

Haldir half-bows in mock deference. "Anything you desire, my prince--I am here to serve you." The words have a sarcastic tone, but his eyes sparkle with a familiar playfulness. He picks up his bow, which he had dropped during the kiss, and slinging it over his shoulder in a move both elegant and polished, he starts to head towards the cave entrance.

Already I feel cold and empty inside and am second-guessing my actions, wondering if I have made a mistake by pushing him away. "Haldir?" The name has passed my lips before I am aware I intended to speak.

He turns back, an eyebrow arched questioningly. "Yes?"

"I. . .would like to explore these. . .formations. . .further," I stammer, my heart pounding so hard I fear it will beat right out of my chest. I gesture to the cave around us, even though that is not what I meant by my words, and I pray he understands my true intentions. "That is. . . if you will be my guide."

Haldir's only answer is a victorious leer as he steps toward me. Casting his bow again to the ground, he sweeps me up in his arms and claims my mouth once more in a kiss that holds a thousand and one promises.

When we are forced to come up for air, those dark, predatory eyes fix on me as he purrs, "It would be my pleasure, little one. . .and yours."

Of that I have no doubt.

~end of flashback~
* * * * * * * * * *
The spell was broken by Aragorn entering the chamber at that moment. It was obvious he had used one of the other baths, as he was freshly scrubbed and wore clean clothes; a young page, carrying two bundles of clothing, accompanied him. As he reached the edge of pool, he took the bundles from the youth, and placed them on a nearby rock. He then scooped up Legolas and Gimli's soiled clothing and handed everything back to the youth, who was staring at the two strange creatures lolling in the water. "Take these to the laundress," Aragorn commanded. "We shall need them when we ride out." With a final bow to Aragorn, and one last furtive glance at the Elf and the Dwarf, the page scampered off.

"And when will that be?" Gimli asked as he stepped out of the bath, grabbing a drying cloth that Aragorn handed him.

"In the morning. Gandalf says the Hobbits are waiting for us in Isengard."

"All of them?" Legolas inquired, hopefully.

"No, only Merry and Pippin. No word has been heard of Sam and Frodo."

"But they are alive and well?" Gimli pressed.

A smile crossed Aragorn's face. "According to Gandalf, they are doing fine."

"Praise the Gods," Gimli whispered reverently, even as Aragorn shoved a parcel of clothing at him.

"They are not stylish, but they are warm and dry,” he said, apologetically.

"And not covered in orc blood," Gimli chuckled. "I for one am most grateful."

"Hurry and dress. Both of you. Our hosts are preparing a feast in our honor."

"How can they celebrate, after the destruction and loss of last night?" Legolas asked, curiously.

"They are alive," Aragorn replied. "WE are alive."

"But so many are not."

Aragorn crouched down beside the pool next to his friend. "We won, Legolas. The war may still rage on, but for one night, we were victorious."

Legolas shook his head and whispered, "I do not think I shall attend."

"It would be rude to refuse their hospitality. Certainly not the actions of an elven prince."

"I would not be good company, Aragorn," Legolas insisted. "You must know that."

"Understood. But your presence would be reassuring to the people of Rohan."

"Their generosity is most appreciated," Gimli cut in before the Elf could voice another argument; gesturing towards the dressing chamber, he prompted his companion, "Legolas? Are you coming?"

Aragorn stood just then and gently requested, "Begging your pardon, Master Dwarf, but I wish a few words alone with our friend here." Gimli, clearly not happy, muttered some choice off-color remarks under his breath as he stormed off. "I fear I have offended," Aragorn mused wryly, crossing his arms over his chest.

A faint smile graced Legolas' fair face. "It is so easy to offend a Dwarf. I do it quite often without meaning to."

"And yet your friendship thrives."

The smile widened. "To the astonishment of all. . .myself especially."

There was a brief pause before Aragorn stated, "He is very protective of you."

"I never asked him to be. I can take care of myself."

"He cannot help it. He worries. . .as do I."

"You have much to worry about, Aragorn, but I should not be listed among your concerns. My troubles are my own to deal with."

"Would you not share your burden?" Aragorn encouraged.

"I. . .I dare not." Glancing down at his hands, Legolas sighed softly, "The grief is too powerful. . ."

"You can not keep hiding away your pain. Why will you not talk to me of it?"

Legolas looked back up at his friend and replied, "You carry the future of our world on your shoulders, Aragorn. I fear the weight is starting to wear on you."

"What I fear is losing you." Kneeling down and fixing Legolas in his steel-gray gaze, he implored, "Do not give up on me, Legolas. I can see your heart is in turmoil, but Merry and Pippin are out there somewhere, as are Frodo and Sam. We need to find them. This mission must not fail."

"I am well aware of the gravity of this quest, and my part in it," Legolas answered, tersely.

"Then you know the obstacles we yet face. Gimli is a fine warrior, but I need you, my friend." A beat, then a whispered plea in Elvish, "I cannot do this alone."

"You will never be alone as long as I draw breath," Legolas pledged in the lilting poetry of his native tongue. "You have my bow and my allegiance at your command. As for my grief, it will pass, as all things do with the course of time." Casting his eyes downward, he took in a deep, shuddering breath before continuing, this time in Westron. "I must apologize for my earlier outburst. I am still not sure what came over me."

Aragorn smiled wanly. "There is no need to apologize, my friend. It was quite a shock for all of us. And it is natural to mourn for a loved one."

"But to do it so publicly is. . ." Legolas paused, searching for the right word, "unseemly."

"Haldir was a fine warrior and a good friend," Aragorn affirmed. "But for you he was more, was he not?"

"Once,” Legolas sighed. “Perhaps always."

"I truly am sorry for your loss, Legolas." The air hung heavily during the next few moments, time filled with an awkward silence. Aragorn dreaded what he had to say, but it had to be said. "We gave him a proper burial in the woods. I arranged a single grave so he would not be forgotten in a common one."

"He died a hero, Aragorn. He should have been returned to Lórien to a hero's funeral, as should the other Elves."

Aragorn hated the sadness that hung like a veil over Legolas, hated that he was unable to fulfill such a reasonable request. "But it was not possible, as you well know," he replied, his tone soft and compassionate. "There was just not enough time to do that."

The Elf nodded sadly, knowing Aragorn was right. "His brothers, Orophin and Rúmil. Were they. . .?" Legolas hesitated before he barely whispered, "Were they killed as well?"

"No. They were not among the archers that arrived last night. The other Elves said they remained behind to help protect Lórien's borders."

"They will have to be told," Legolas murmured, almost to himself. "The three of them were quite close."

"I am sure the returning warriors will tell of Haldir's valor and sacrifice."

"But he should not have died at all!" Legolas vehemently declared.

"Nor any of the others who fought so bravely." Another awkward pause followed. Aragorn may have been a trained healer, but there was nothing he could to do to mend his friend's broken heart. Only time, as Legolas had pointed out, could hope to ease his sorrow.

Not knowing what else to say, Aragorn stood up and placed the clothes beside the pool. "You should get ready," he said gently, and with a final squeeze of Legolas' shoulder, he left the baths to give the Elf some time alone. . .

* * * * * * *
~flashback~

"Haldir, it hurts."

"I know, little one. That cannot be helped. But it will get better. I promise. Do you wish me to stop?"

"No, no. . ." I gasp, closing my eyes against the pain. "I trust you."

Weeks of flirting and stolen kisses have brought us to this night--in the woods, beneath the stars, all of nature sharing in our passion. While not completely innocent, I have never lain with another male before and am rather nervous. But Haldir, as if sensing my distress, was doing all he could to lessen it and calm me.

Leaning down, he lays comforting kisses along the nape of my neck and against my cheek. With a final thrust of his hips, he comes to lay flush against my back. "There, there. . ." he soothes, lips brushing pass my cheek. He waits a moment as I adjust to him, soft kisses landing on my shoulders, gentle fingers caressing my hips and thighs. After a minute or two, I start to relax; my lover must sense the change because he asks, "Ready?"

Still uncertain, I whisper, "Yes, I think so."

Haldir chuckles. "I will make this good for you, little prince--I promise." He withdraws slowly, then gently pushes back in; he repeats the action until I am moaning softly, this time in pleasure and not pain, and pushing back against him. Another chuckle, huskier this time. "Better?"

My teeth crush my lower lip to keep from groaning aloud. "Uh-huh," I mumble, distractedly. "Much better."

Gripping my waist in his strong hands, he begins to give me more, rotating his hips against me in a slow, seductive dance. I find myself moving to his rhythm, pushing backwards with each thrust, driving him deeper into my willing body. Quick short stabs mixed with long drawn-out strokes soon leave me trembling with desire and moaning my joy for all to hear.

"Such pretty sounds you make, little one," Haldir murmurs in my ear as his pace quickens. "I would enjoy hearing more of your lustful song." My only answer is a long, keening sigh.

I am so lost in the sensations Haldir is unleashing within me that I startle when I feel his hand clasp over my shaft, stroking it in time to his thrusts. The pressure builds throughout every inch of my body as my lover caresses me from inside and out. I am taut and stretched like the string of a nocked bow just before release.

Sweet, blessed, release.

"Haldir. . ." I cry out, arching up and back as the pleasure overtakes me, more intense than anything I have ever experienced in my life. My arms give out on me, my face pressing into the soft green grass below us. A few more deep plunges, and my lover soon follows, my name a sob on his lips, echoing into the forest around us. He collapses on me, his body sweaty and trembling, as is mine.

After a few moments, he carefully withdraws from me and rolls off to the side. With concern in his voice he asks, "Are you still with me, Legolas?" A bubble of giggles bursts from my lips but I am not yet able to form words. "I take that to mean 'yes'," he chuckles.

"Most assuredly 'yes'," I manage to say in between the gleeful titters, laughter that melts into mewling sighs as strong archer's fingers thread lovingly through my hair.

"I am sorry to have caused you pain, little one," he apologizes softly, continuing his affectionate ministrations. "It was not intentional."

I manage to open my eyes and gaze over at my lover. He sprawls limp and relaxed beside me, a soft, sated smile gracing his face, his cheeks flushed with spent passion. If he was stunning before, now he is simply breathtaking. "Do not apologize, Haldir. The pain was slight and the pleasure exquisite, just as you promised." I snuggle against his chest, my hand coming to rest over his still-racing heart. "You are quite skilled in the ways of love."

Arms realign until he can hug me close. "And you have known so many others to make such a comparison?" he teases.

"Why do I need to know others when my heart tells me the truth?"

"I do not believe it is your heart that is talking right now," he leers.

I try to smother an embarrassed giggle but fail miserably. "I suppose not." A sigh, as my hand slides over his broad sculptured chest, cuddling even closer. "Oh, mellon-nîn, I have never known such happiness."

Hands gently brush through my hair, a finger grazing over my ear, causing me to shiver. "And I share in your bliss, little one." His lips brush over mine, as soft as a whisper, a tender lovers' kiss. "I am honored to have been your first."

"And a better choice I could not have made," I assure him with a smile.

"Your pretty words flatter me, my prince. And I would return the gesture by inviting you to stay the night here with me, but I fear your father might come looking for you," he kids, a joke that has followed me since the day at the caves.

I push myself up, throwing my right leg over his waist so I am straddling his hips. Leaning forward, I purr, "Let him look," before stealing a kiss from his luscious lips.

~end of flashback~

* * * * * * * * * *
Shaking himself out of his reverie, Legolas stepped from the water. He grabbed a drying towel and quickly wiped off the water before dressing in the clothes Aragorn had left for him. While not quite befitting an elven prince they were dry and clean, and at the moment that was all that mattered.

After dressing, he removed an ivory comb from among his meager belongings and began to comb out his hair. He was just clasping a barrette at the end of a second intricate braid when Gimli returned from the adjacent cavern. His borrowed clothes were far too large for a Dwarf and hung off of him in a ridiculous manner; his appearance wasn't helped by the fact that his long beard and tresses had not been brushed out, and were now just a bushy, frizzy mess.

Legolas took one look at his scruffy friend and burst into musical giggles. "Oh, Gimli--you are such a sight. If only the others could see you now."

"Is it my fault they could find no proper fitting garb?" Gimli grumbled, shaking the sleeves that were hanging over his hands in frustration.

Legolas did his best to curb his laughter, but was still chuckling as he said, "My dear friend, you never fail to amuse me, despite my heavy heart."

Gimli snorted and groused sarcastically, "It delights me so to know I entertain. Now, if you are quite finished. . .I could use some help here."

"But of course, Master Dwarf." Legolas knelt down to cuff the pants; once those were done, he worked on the sleeves, eventually making the outfit halfway presentable. Then, while he was still kneeling, he started combing out Gimli's beard.

"Here! What are you doing, Elf!?"

"You helped me in my time of need. . .now I return the favor," Legolas replied, smoothly. He combed the beard until it was soft and flowing like a burnished river of auburn silk. Carefully braiding it the way he had seen Gimli wear it, he commanded, "Turn around." Gimli scowled for a moment, but ultimately complied with the demand. Legolas repeated the same grooming actions on the Dwarf's long, luxurious mane, and a single thick braid was quickly woven through the tresses. Once done, Legolas proudly proclaimed, "There! Fit for an audience with Lady Galadriel herself."

The Dwarf gave a wistful sigh. "Ahhh. . .if that were possible. I should love to gaze upon her beauty again, if only for one minute more."

"At least you have her gift. Is it safe?"

"Aye, and I would defend it as fiercely as I did this fortress." Legolas' attention was distracted as he fastened a belt around his tunic, and so therefore missed the longing look Gimli bestowed upon him as he added, "I never knew such fairness to walk these lands."

"I am sure she would be pleased to hear you say such."

"How do you think the hobbits are faring?" Gimli queried, as he struggled to pull on one of his boots. "I fear for their safety."

"As do I. But I must believe we will find them alive and well, and that the quest will come to a successful conclusion."

"For the sake of us all, I hope you are right."

"It is a rare occasion for an Elf be wrong."

Gimli just barely kept his eyes from rolling at that. "If you are done glorifying yourself and your kindred, our hosts await us."

"Is it good manners or the thought of food that drives this sudden interest in propriety, dear Dwarf?" Legolas inquired dryly.

Gimli's only comment was something that sounded like, "Harrumph!" as he stalked off, a chuckling Legolas following behind.

* * * * * * * * * *
The mood was somber in the great hall--elation mixed with grief, and a sense that this was not the end of the struggle but only the beginning. Still, the food was good and plentiful, and Gimli enjoyed his share. Legolas, however, ate little, preferring instead the nourishment of his friend’s company to any that could be provided by food. Even in the depths of sorrow, the Dwarf could make him smile, and in that way forget his troubles for a short time.

"Is the food not to your liking, my lord?"

Legolas was startled out of his musings by the sweet voice of Lady Eowyn. "Pardon?"

"You have barely touched a bite," she noted, glancing at his full plate. "I could fetch something else, if you prefer."

"Nay, the food is quite enjoyable, as is the company," Legolas reassured her.

"I agree wholeheartedly," Gimli cut in. "In fact, the company is far more delectable than even the tastiest morsel on this table."

Eowyn's joyful laughter filled the hall. "My, you certainly are a charmer!" she giggled.

"Come sit by me, lassie, and I shall tell you tales of the great Dain Ironfoot."

"I would much rather hear more tales of dwarven maids," Eowyn countered playfully, already moving to take a chair by Gimli's side. Legolas looked over at his friend and gave a small, grateful smile. The Dwarf would do a much better job of entertaining the young lady than Legolas could this night. Gimli graced Legolas with a quick wink, then turned his attention back to Eowyn, leaving Legolas to his meal. . .and his memories. . .

* * ** ** ** ** *
~flashback~

"I do not wish to leave."

"But you must. . .it is time to go."

Seven years. That is how long I have resided in the Golden Wood. And in those few short years, Haldir has shown me worlds of pleasure and passion and joy that I could never have imagined existed. He is such a patient, caring lover, a wonderful teacher and a true friend. The thought of leaving him simply tore me apart.

I had already begged Adar to remain in Lórien longer, and twice he had granted my wish--allowing me to stay a further year each time--but a darkness had been growing in Mirkwood, and my skilled bow was needed to help protect our homeland. Though it pained me to leave Haldir and the land I had come to love as a second home, I had little choice in the matter.

"I want to stay here with you forever," I whisper as Haldir carefully braids my hair. "I love you." My heartfelt declaration, however, is met with silence. "Haldir?"

A soft sigh is my answer, even as nimble fingers finish their task. Wishing to know the meaning behind that sigh, I ask, "Meleth-nîn, what is wrong?"

The finished braid is gently released before he speaks. "Legolas. . .we spend our whole lives searching for the perfect mate, the one we will bond with for eternity. Your search is just beginning, little one."

I turn in my chair to face my lover, who is standing behind me. Reaching up, I run a caressing hand down his cheek, smiling as I reply, "Nay. It has already ended--the day you rode into my life."

Capturing my hand in his, he gently warns, "Be careful with your heart, Legolas. Do not give it away freely. Know that your love is true before making a gift of something so dear."

"And how will I know my love is true?" I ask, curiously.

"You just feel it."

"But I DO feel it. I want to be with you always." I stop, noticing Haldir's look of despair. "You do not feel it, do you?" His answer comes not with words but with a sadness I see in his deep blue eyes. There is something I am missing, something I am failing to understand. Tightening my hand around his, I implore, "Haldir, something troubles you. Please tell me what it is."

Still clasping my hand, he kneels beside my chair. Holding my gaze, he says, "My dear friend, you are a prince of Mirkwood. I am a lowly member of the Lady's Guard." He gives a self-depreciating shrug as he adds," We are hardly . . . compatible."

"I care not for your station," I inform him, "and I would argue there is nothing 'lowly' about you."

That comment earns me a genuine smile. "Be that as it may. . .your father is another matter. He would never allow such a union between us."

"My father adores you like a son, Haldir. He would welcome the chance for you to join our house."

A sad shake of his head. "So young," he whispers, the fingers of his free hand threading through my hair. "So innocent."

"What do you mean?"

"Legolas, you are meant for grander things," he informs me. "When the time comes, your union will be one beneficial to all, not just the desires of a high-spirited prince."

I laugh at that. "Nonsense. My father does not believe in arranged marriages."

"Perhaps 'arranged' is not the right word, Legolas. More like 'encouraged'." At my confused look, he explains wryly, " Mirkwood's line needs to continue, Legolas, and I am unable to produce an heir."

"Ai, that is quite a problem," I agree. "Of course, there is no reason why the mother of my children should be the only one to share my bed."

His eyebrow arches at my words. "Are you proposing I become your paramour?" he incredulously asks.

"It is an option."

"One that I doubt will go over well in your father's court. . .or with your bride."

"Then you shall reside there without their blessing!" I declare decisively.

"Do not be so impetuous, little one."

"But I love you, Haldir. What is more important than that?"

Another sad shake of his head. "If only it were that easy."

"It CAN be," I insist.

"Such fire and passion," he marvels, his fingers trailing lightly over my cheek. "The jewel of Mirkwood is truly a treasure to the world."

I bask in his attentions, savoring his touch for a few final moments. "Haldir. . .?" I ask softly.

"Yes, lirimaer?"

"Just one question. Titles aside--do you love me?"

He does not answer with words, but the look that softens his big blue eyes tells me that the question was unnecessary. I feel my own eyes filling with tears as he pulls his hands away and reaches behind his head. Deftly he removes something from his hair, which he then fastens to one of my side braids. "May it help you to remember The Golden Realm," he says. "And me."

I lift my braid so I can get a closer look, and see that the elegant item is a small oval mithril barrette engraved with delicate mallorn leaves. It is simple, yet divine. "As if I could forget you," I chuckle sadly, stroking the priceless object reverently. "You have brought me so much joy through all your lessons. . ." I pause, feeling a blush stain my cheeks before adding, "Especially the private ones."

He chuckles at that. "And I have learned from you as well." He brushes the braid behind my ear tenderly. "You will always hold a piece of my heart, little one."

"I will not quit until I own it all," I pledge. "Someday I will come back and claim what is mine."

The smile I get this time is brighter than the sun above. "To someday," he echoes as he pulls me in for one final passion-filled kiss. . .

A kiss I wish would never end.

~end of flashback~
* * * * * * * * * *
The feast eventually started to wind down, and Legolas and Gimli took the opportunity to make their escape. Pausing to thank their host, King Theoden, and to wish Aragorn a good night, they left the banquet hall, and headed towards the guest rooms they had been assigned. They reached Gimli's first, and though it had been a long, tiring two days, both paused outside the room, Legolas seemingly reluctant to leave his companion. "Is there a problem, Sir Elf?" Gimli asked, concerned.

Softly, so softly that Gimli had to strain to hear, Legolas replied, "I fear tonight will be longer than last, and that the battle fought within will be more fierce than the battle fought without."

"But the battle must be fought, if you are to know peace again." The Dwarf heaved a heavy sigh. "I do not envy you, my friend. The foe whose weapon is Memory is hard to defeat."

"As is the one who wields the weapon of Regret."

A big, brawny hand landed on the Elf's shoulder. "You are a strong warrior, Legolas, but even the bravest cannot fight a battle so great alone." With a comforting squeeze, Gimli dropped his hand, and opened the door to his room. "Stay with me tonight, and we shall conquer your enemies together."

"Master Dwarf, you have not slept in two days, and our journey is far from over," Legolas all but scolded. "You have already fought hard to win this night for your own."

"Then it is mine to do with as I please." Before Legolas could voice a further protest, Gimli had grabbed his hand and pulled him into the room. Urging him towards the fire that already burned in the fireplace, he commanded, "Wait here and get comfortable. I will be right back," then turned to go.

"Where are you going?"

"To get provisions," he answered vaguely as he dashed from the room, leaving Legolas with his thoughts once more. . .

**************
~flashback~

"I thought I might find you here." The silky words tickle my ear, as a strong arm encircles my waist from behind.

Though it had been over one hundred years since I last step foot in Lothlórien, the path had been easy to remember --the lake and the falls just where I expected them to be. When I had stepped behind the flowing water and once more gazed upon the florescent kaleidoscope it revealed, I was struck breathless just as the first time I had witnessed their splendor. The cave looked different in the moonlight, not quite as bright as when the sun shone upon it, but the effect was just as glorious.

And though he moves as silently as mist across a pond, I knew the minute Haldir had joined me. His presence, perhaps, or his scent. Or simply the way my heart just seemed to beat faster when he was near.

"I wanted to see it one more time," I reply. "I had to know if it was as beautiful as I remembered it."

His other arm wraps around me, holding me in a loose embrace. "And is it?"

I turn in his arms, my eyes drawn to his handsome face--the one I have dreamed of all these many years--and smile broadly. "It is now."

The smile is returned as Haldir pulls me close, closing the gap between us. Tentatively, our mouths seek out each other; a small gasp of elation escapes me when our lips finally touch and I experience his familiar, heady taste for the first time in over a century. The kiss, which starts as a gentle greeting, quickly turns desperate as we attempt to make up for all the years we have been separated.

Haldir is the one to break the kiss, his face flushed as he gasps, "Meleth-nîn, it has been too long."

"I know," I reply, fairly panting. "My duties have kept me so busy. I missed you so much." My hands mirror my words, boldly sliding down his body to cup his behind. Pulling him still closer, I know he can feel my hardness pressing against his muscular thigh. With a groan of desire, I try to reclaim his lips, but Haldir tilts his head just enough to thwart my attempt.

"As I have missed you, little one. But we have much to discuss before. . ."

"My time here is short, Haldir," I cut him off, my hands already busy stripping him out of his uniform. "Would you really waste it with words?"

"I find it difficult to argue with such reasoning," he answers, breathlessly, "however, we should not just rush into this." Cloak and tunic now gone, I take a moment to attack the luscious bare neck laid out before me. Haldir squeaks as my lips burn his throat. "Ye-ai! Legolas, please! I. . .I. . .fine. If you wish," he stammers, and I smile, knowing I have won. "But not he. . .here. Someplace comfortable where," an incoherent groan leaks from his lips ". . . where I can love you prop. . . properly and thoroughly."

"Here," I rasp, my lips moving from his throat and up to his ear. A flick of my tongue over the sensitive tip produces the most satisfying moans and whimpers. "Where we first knew what was in our hearts."

And with that comment, Haldir's last reserves crumble and collapse, and he eagerly claims my mouth in a searing kiss. Lips locked, we sink to our knees, hastily peeling our clothing from each other. Haldir quickly and efficiently fashions a soft, makeshift bed from our discarded cloaks, then tenderly lays me down upon it.

Large caring hands part my legs--a clever, nimble tongue lovingly prepares me. When I am ready, he gives me a sweet, tender kiss before resuming his position above me. Sturdy arms plant themselves on either side of my head and my legs hook themselves around strong, corded biceps. With a single smooth stroke, he slides into me, and I feel my spirit take flight.

It is as though time has stood still and for one perfect moment there is no Ring, no quest, no death, no grief. For one night there is only beauty and love and I revel in the joy that is being bestowed upon me by my dear Haldir.

Joy, when I should feel only sorrow.

There have been other lovers since Haldir--both male and female--but I had only shared my body with them, never myself. Haldir was the only one who knew me . . .the only one I LET know me. Though years and duty had kept us apart physically, a part of him always stayed with me deep within my heart. My first love, my greatest love, my only love.

We take our time, our joining slow yet passionate. Bodies long separated rejoice as they explore and rediscover one another. Our hands and fingers retrace familiar slopes of skin while our mouths eagerly drink in the intoxicating taste of each other after so many years apart. Our soft moans and sighs blend into a magical song that resonates throughout the crystalline cave. I want this night to last forever, to feel this bliss until the end of time. It is all so wondrous, so beautiful, so idyllic. My beloved Haldir, in my arms once more.

As I writhe and tremble beneath my lover, he gradually increases his rhythm, his thrusts becoming faster and deeper. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I hold on tight as Haldir possesses me, claiming me as his once more. When I feel the end is near, I reach down between our sweaty bodies to touch my aching arousal. It only takes a few strokes until I cry out my release. With a final thrust of his hips, Haldir joins me, his low shuddering groan ringing in my ear long after all motion has ceased.

Once it is over, I feel guilty for the pleasure I have taken while the rest of the Fellowship mourns Gandalf's death. Only now that I am lying curled within my Haldir's warm embrace does the emptiness return, a sense of loneliness the likes of which I have never known before. So lost in my own thoughts and remorse that I almost miss what Haldir says to me. "You are so quiet, Legolas," his soft voice full of concern.

It is a moment before I can push my jumbled emotions down enough to answer him. "I was just thinking of Gandalf."

"Aye, his loss has saddened us all. If only our reunion had been under happier conditions "

"I have never lost a friend before."

"I have," he says, a warm kiss brushing over my lips. "It is inevitable as a member of the Lady's Guard."

"Does it always hurt so much?" I ask, curiously.

"Sometimes. Depending how close you were."

"We were quite close. I have known him for many years, but these past few months. . ." Unbidden, a single tear leaks out and slides down my face.

Haldir tenderly brushes the tear away with his thumb. "You honor Mithrandir with your tears, lirimaer. Indeed, only one as special as he deserves them." Strong fingers thread affectionately through my hair as he consoles me. "The ache shall lessen in time, Legolas, but it will remain a part of you. Take comfort in knowing you will always carry his memory in your heart, and in that way, he is never truly gone."

Pulling me closer, he places a loving kiss upon my forehead. "Rest now, little one. I shall watch over you tonight." My head on his chest, I drift off to the sound of his steady heartbeat, and the music of the waterfalls.

I know not which is sweeter.

~end of flashback~

* * * * * * * * * *
Within minutes, Gimli returned, somehow procuring a pitcher of mulled wine and two pewter mugs. Joining Legolas on some pillows in front of the fire, Gimli filled each mug, and handed one to his companion. "To Haldir," the Dwarf proclaimed loudly, crashing his mug against Legolas'.

"To Balin," Legolas returned, earning a grateful nod from his companion. Gimli swallowed heartily while Legolas gently sipped at the tasty drink. As Gimli filled his mug for a second time, he turned to Legolas and stated, "We have shared much on this adventure, my friend."

"Indeed. I feel as if you know me better than anyone ever has."

"And I should like to know you more." He took a long pull of wine, then requested, "Tell me about Haldir. I wish to learn how he above all others could win your heart. My own meetings with him were. . .less than pleasant."

Legolas gave a weak chuckle at that. "You certainly have a way with understatement, Master Dwarf." He paused as he took a sip of his wine, then continued, "You only saw one side of him, one you thought to be accurate. However, the reliability of truth may sometimes be false."

"Must you always talk in riddles? I swear, Elves can be such a maddening race!"

"I could say the same of Dwarves."

"Aye, and you have."

"That was ere I truly knew one." He glanced down at his mug of wine before continuing, "I will admit that I have done you and your kin a grave injustice, son of Gloin. If I had but known the virtues of Dwarves--courage, strength, loyalty, integrity--I would not have been so quick to judge, or so sharp with my tongue."

Gimli, touched by Legolas' words, took a moment to collect his thoughts before replying, "I, too, have been rash in my judgment of your kind, dear Elf. Haldir was indeed blessed to have found you not once but twice in his lifetime. Envied, even."

"That is kind of you to say."

"Kindness has naught to do with it. I only speak in simple facts--something I wish you Elves would learn to do."

"Your bluntness is not one of your more endearing qualities, Gimli," Legolas scolded.

"I never said it was. Indeed, I was unaware I even HAD endearing qualities."

A smile graced Legolas' fair face. "Aye, of those you have many."

"Then this is the first I hear of them," Gimli joked.

"Another oversight on my part," Legolas stated, taking a sip from his cup. "Please forgive me."

"TWO apologies in one day? From an Elf? Oh, if only my dear old pa were here, for he will never believe me."

Legolas glared playfully at his friend. "If I recall, you asked me about Haldir?"

Gimli swallowed a swig of wine before responding with a sarcastic, "Did I?"

"You tease me."

"Once more we witness the superior intelligence of the elves."

"If you do not wish to hear what I have to say, the least you can do is pour me more wine," Legolas declared, holding out his empty mug.

"On the contrary, I am very interested to learn the error of my thinking," Gimli insisted, filling the mug to the brim.

Legolas carefully sipped at the wine before it spilled over the lip of the mug before speaking. "You were correct in believing him to be proud and arrogant--his position in as March warden demanded it of him. But beneath, there were many other layers to Haldir that he kept hidden from the world, only daring to allow a lucky few to glimpse and enjoy them. In that respect, he was much like you, my dear Dwarf." And for the first time all day, the mischievous twinkle was back in Legolas' eye.

The remark caused Gimli to roar with laughter and slap his friend hard on the back. "Good one, princeling." Legolas grimaced good-naturedly at the taunt. "I look forward to the tales you tell tonight."

And so they talked. Long into the night they sat, backs against the foot of the bed, drinking mulled wine as they discussed life and love, battles won and lost, memories and regrets. With Gimli's help, Legolas faced down his foes. . .and for the second evening in a row, the enemy was vanquished.

"I keep thinking if I had been near, perhaps I could have prevented what happened," Legolas mused, thoughtfully.

"We cannot know such things, my friend. Chances are you would have fallen as well."

"At least I would have been there at the end. Haldir's last moments would not have been alone. I could have told him how I felt about him."

"I am sure he knew."

"Do you think so?"

"I am sure of it, and that thought comforted him." At Gimli's words, a silent tear streamed down the Elf's cheek. "Come now, Legolas," the Dwarf tsked, brushing the tear away with a calloused thumb. "Beauty such as yours should not be tarnished with tears."

Legolas looked curiously at his friend. "I am not made of stone or jewels and yet you call me beautiful?" he asked.

"Only a blind man or a fool would not, and Gloin's son is neither." His hand stayed cupping Legolas' cheek as the Elf tilted his head, almost nuzzling the palm and releasing a soft contented sigh.

Gimli mused, For many moons he had felt his affection for Legolas changing, from mistrust to friendship to. . . something more. Something he had not felt before, something so deep and consuming it frightened him more than any Uruk-Hai soldier ever could. And with Legolas still luxuriating in his touch, he wished he could lean over and give him just one kiss, to caress the lips he so longed to taste.

But no.

Legolas was far too fragile--his emotions too raw, his spirit too battered. Any overtures Gimli made now were bound to be either rejected or unwanted. Worse yet, they could be seen as taking advantage of one so anguished. Besides, how could an Elf ever love a Dwarf? The idea was completely laughable. Even if Legolas COULD return his feelings, this was not the time to reveal his secret.

One true love. Dwarves spent their entire lives searching, and few ever found it. Gimli had, but it was destined to be a love never spoken, and never returned.

"Your words touch me, mellon-nîn. I am grateful for them and for your company." Legolas picked up his mug, only to find it empty once more. Holding it towards Gimli, he asked, "Any more wine?"
* * * * * * * * *
LATER THAT NIGHT:

The second pitcher of mulled wine sat empty and forgotten while a tipsy Legolas giggled his way through most of his latest yarn. "So then Haldir and I stole all his clothes and Rúmil was forced to walk back to Caras Galadon completely naked! Or maybe it was Orophin. I never could tell Haldir's brothers apart." But instead of the drunken laughter the Elf expected from his wild tale, Gimli closed his eyes and yawned. "Do my stories bore you, Master Dwarf?" Legolas teased.

"No more than usual," Gimli shot back, another yawn overtaking him.

Legolas sobered long enough to announce, "You should get some sleep, my friend. You have had a hard day."

"Aye, and there are more to come, I am sure."

"Then off to bed with you. A few hours remain before daybreak. Time enough to rest." But Gimli, weary from travel and war, his stomach full of good food and good wine, was already asleep, his head falling onto Legolas' shoulder.

Legolas smiled indulgently down at his slumbering companion, brushing a stray strand of hair from Gimli's face. "You say that Haldir was lucky, for finding me twice. I say *I* am the lucky one for having both you and Haldir in my life. Thank you for tonight, mellon-nîn." Placing a chaste kiss upon Gimli's cheek, he curled up beside the Dwarf, who, even in his sleep, wrapped his arms protectively around the drowsy Elf.

But while Gimli slept, Legolas sat looking into the fire, his final parting with his lost love keeping him from the rest he so desperately needed. . .

* * * * * * * * *
~flashback~

"You should not have given me your bow."

He only smiles at me. "And what makes you think it is mine?"

"I should recognize it anywhere. I have long admired it--'tis the finest and most elegant bow in all of Arda."

"And a bane to orcs everywhere. May it serve you well, as it has served me." The side of a gentle hand caresses down my right cheek, so soft I can barely feel it; he speaks in an equally soft tone. "Stay."

Such a small word, a simple entreaty, said with so much feeling. And one I cannot honor.

My time in Lothlórien had been like a healing balm to my troubled soul. During the day, I spent time with the Fellowship, showing them all the beauty and wonder of the Golden Wood. My nights belonged to my beloved, lying in the protective cocoon of his soothing embrace until daybreak. The others never asked where I went after the sun set, assuming I just sought the company of my own kindred. If any of them suspected my true motives, no one voiced their opinions.

Each day I felt myself growing stronger, my sorrow easing. While my heart still grieved for our lost Mithrandir, my sense of purpose and inner-balance was returning. Now that the day had arrived to leave the fair lands, I believed I was ready for the next step in our adventure.

Haldir knew our time together was short, that duty demanded I could not stay within the beautiful realm of Lothlórien nor in the strength and comfort of his loving arms. Haldir knew the Fellowship needed me, that the quest was too important to abandon--yet that had not stopped him from asking me to remain with him, and for that I loved him even more.

"I cannot," I reply, sadly. "The quest. . . "

". . .must succeed," he finishes. "But must YOU continue?"

"I have no choice, Haldir. You heard the Lady's words. One false step and we will fail. All will be lost."

"I just have a bad feeling." He pauses, his usually bright eyes clouded with shadows. " I fear we are destined never to meet again."

"I will return, meleth-nîn, I promise. Wait for me?"

"For the jewel of Mirkwood? I would wait an eternity." His fingers brush through my hair until they reach the barrette clasped to the end of one of my braids. "You still have this old trinket?" he chuckles.

"It is more than a mere trinket," I correct him. "It is my talisman, and my most prized possession. It brings me good luck and goes wherever I do."

"Then I pray it continues to do its job."

"I wish I had something of equal value to give to you."

"You have, little one--something more prized than all the precious gems and metals in Arda," he whispers, a chaste fleeting kiss gracing my lips.

I have never seen such a softness on Haldir's strong face, and the love shimmering in his eyes warms my heart. Mindful of the others preparing for our departure, I grab his hand and drag him behind the nearest mallorn tree, away from prying eyes. There, I pull him close to me, letting my lips kiss away all the doubts and sadness.

All too soon I hear someone calling my name and I reluctantly draw back from Haldir's embrace, ending our good-bye kiss. Looking into his deep blue eyes, shining with love, I am almost tempted to abandon the quest and stay in Lothlórien with my lover. But that is not possible. As much as I loved my handsome Guardian, the quest had to come first. "I WILL return," I promise him again. "After all, I have yet to win your heart."

Haldir smiles, cupping my face tenderly in his large hands. "It is already yours, lirimaer." He presses one last loving kiss to my mouth before whispering, "Someday."

I tilt my head so my lips brush the palm of his hand and pledge, "Someday, and forever."

Who knew forever would end so quickly?

~end of flashback~
* * ** * * * * * * *
The next morning was bright and sunny, seemingly at odds with the horror and devastation that still littered the Keep, as survivors searched for missing loved ones, and the long task of dealing with the dead continued. Gimli would have normally stopped to help with the recovery efforts, but at that moment, he had his own missing person to find. Legolas was already gone from the room when Gimli had awoken, and since Aragon was anxious to head out, Gimli was charged with finding the absent member of their company. After having checked all the obvious places such as Legolas' room, the kitchen, the baths, and the stables but seeing no sign of the Elf, Gimli made his way out of the fortress.

He had a hunch he knew where his friend might be.

As he walked along the worn path beside the stronghold, his ears soon picked up the soft strains of a sorrowful song filling the air. He followed the bittersweet music into the nearby woods, until he spied Legolas, kneeling by a fresh grave beneath a majestic tree. The Elf took no notice of Gimli, lost as he was in his lament. Nimble fingers deftly threaded a wreath of wildflowers as he sang, the melody interrupted by occasional pauses and choked-back sobs. The words were beyond Gimli's understanding, but the sorrow behind them could not be disguised. Not knowing what else to do, Gimli bowed his head, and said a silent prayer for the fallen warrior.

The song ended shortly after, leaving behind a silence that echoed loudly throughout the dense forest. "You found me," Legolas said without turning around.

Gimli might have tried to be quiet so as not to intrude on Legolas' grief, however, as Haldir had gleefully reminded him, there was no way a Dwarf could ever sneak up on an Elf. "I followed your song," he explained simply. "And a more beautiful song I have yet to hear."

"I felt it only proper to honor him." There was a pause as Legolas placed the wreath on top of the grave. "A beautiful spot, is it not?" he asked, his voice soft.

Gimli walked over to stand beside his friend. "Aye, Aragorn chose well."

"I think he shall be happy here."

"And the woods will revel in his company."

Legolas looked up, a sad smile on his face. "Gimli, the heart of a poet beats within your chest."

The Dwarf sputtered indignantly. "Nonsense. I have just been among Elves too long. What will my kin say when I see them again?"

"They shall say you are the luckiest Dwarf who ever lived."

"Or the unluckiest." Placing a hand on Legolas' shoulder, he gently stated, "Aragorn is readying to leave-- time to say goodbye."

"I do not know how. There are so many things I wish I had said to him."

"I am sure he knew, Legolas. And if he ever doubted, he surely heard your heart in your song." He released Legolas' shoulder, then ran his coarse hand over the Elf's smooth cheek as he mused, "I wonder, would you cry over me should I fall in battle, and sing songs in my honor?"

Looking deep into Gimli's eyes, Legolas pledged, "I would sing until I had no voice left to speak. And cry an ocean so deep and so wide no ship could ever cross it. Do not die on me, Gimli--for I fear I would not be far behind."

At Legolas' passionate words, Gimli felt a tear slide down his cheek. "It would seem that mine is not the only beauty marred by tears," Legolas teased gently, reaching up and wiping the wetness from the Dwarf's cheek.

"Elves," Gimli scoffed, trying to cover his sudden show of emotion with his usual bluster. "If I live a thousand lifetimes, I shall never understand them."

Legolas just smiled at his friend's embarrassment. "Were it possible for you to have the chance, a thousand lifetimes with you by my side would still be too short together."

"Ai, far too short, my friend," Gimli agreed with a smile of his own. Holding out his hand to the kneeling Elf, he said, "Come, Legolas. Our destiny is calling."

But Legolas stayed kneeling for a moment longer, his attention drawn back to the grave. Placing his hand on the recently overturned soil, he softly intoned, "Namarie mellon-nîn. Meleth-nîn. Galad-nîn." With one last loving caress, he scooped up a small handful of dirt from the grave and put it in a pouch hanging off his belt. Only then did he grasp Gimli's outstretched hand, and in silence they walked off to join Aragorn.

* * * * * * * * * *
EPILOG
LEGOLAS:

"Are we almost there yet, Legolas?"

"Almost."

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"Someplace special."

"I hope we get there soon. I am ill at ease in these woods."

Looking around, I could understand Gimli's disquiet. No armed Galadhrim impeded our journey. No elven songs rang through the trees, which had lost their dazzling golden hues. No birds or small animals could be seen or heard. Weeds grew where once lush green grass and delicate flowers flourished, everything seemingly overgrown and neglected. Dark and dreary and lifeless. Haldir would have wept to see what had become of his precious and beloved homeland.

Haldir. My heart clenched at just the thought of his name. He would always be associated with these lands, and indeed, I felt his presence more acutely with each step towards our destination.

Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel had left the Golden Wood many years earlier, and had taken the magic with them. Soon Gimli and I would join them in the Undying Lands. I was looking forward to seeing all our old friends once more, but first, there was one place I wished to show Gimli.

I only hoped it would still be there.

So much had changed in the many years since the last time Gimli and I walked through Lothlórien. Aragorn had been all too correct when he predicted that our trials were just beginning. The battle for Middle-earth was long and hard-fought, but in the end, we were victorious, and the exiled heir of Gondor was finally crowned king, bringing much hope that peace would reign throughout the land at last.

And through it all, Gimli was by my side.

I do not know when my feelings towards my friend began to change. Perhaps it was just the natural progression of our friendship. But one day, I realized that I loved him, as I had loved Haldir--as I had thought I would never love another again. I kept the knowledge to myself, however, afraid to wreck havoc on our relationship, afraid I would drive him away with such a revelation.

But some secrets are not meant to be kept, and while I thought myself masterful at hiding my feelings, there was one I could not fool.

Indeed, it was Aragorn who had brought us together by convincing me to tell Gimli of my deepening feelings for him. "We mortals do not have centuries to find our true love," he had lectured me one day a few years after ascending the throne. "Do not waste another day. Spend every minute with him, enjoy every precious second before it is too late."

"But he will die, Aragorn, just as Haldir died. I could not live through that pain and sorrow again."

"And so you would deny him the joy of your love? Deny yourself the joy of his love in return? Yes, he will die, Legolas, but as he lives, he will love you as no other ever has."

"It is too soon," I had argued. In truth, I still felt a deep sorrow over Haldir's death. Even though we had been separated for nearly a century, I always felt a bond between myself and my beloved Galadhrim. It was a comfort to me knowing that he was out there somewhere, and while we could not be together physically, we were still connected spiritually. In my heart I knew it would be only a matter of time before we could be with each other once more.

But that dream ended with one stroke of an orcish blade. I would never meet Haldir again until I, too, passed into Mandos' Hall. The loss of his love, and more importantly his friendship had left a large hole in my life, and I was still finding it hard to accept he was truly gone. I could not help but think that my heart was playing tricks on me--that my loneliness and despair was causing me to have feelings for Gimli that were not true.

"Perhaps," Aragorn had replied with a sad smile. "But do not keep him waiting, Legolas. You both deserve to be happy."

I will admit it was much harder to confess my feelings the second time around. Knowing the misery one endured when a loved one died, I was sure my heart could not withstand another such blow. But the thought of living my eternal life without ever telling Gimli what he meant to me was likewise unimaginable.

It took me a few more months to work up the courage, but one night, I finally told Gimli I loved him. And then I proceeded to show him how much.

The first kiss we shared was not the fire and passion I had known with Haldir, but rather a deep warmth flowed through me that I found quite comforting. I felt complete. I felt whole. I felt one with the world and the amazing individual I held in my arms.

I knew then that Aragorn had been right. Gimli was my mate. In life and death, he would be the one.

* * * * * * * * * *
The sound of splashing water told me I was close, and not able to stand the suspense any longer, I sprinted ahead. "Legolas! Wait up!" Gimli called from behind as I broke through to the clearing, and there, before me, was the waterfall.

The entire area seemed untouched, retaining the beauty of the old Lothlórien. As I stood there, silently thanking the Valar for allowing this oasis to remain pure, Gimli trotted up beside me. "I do not remember ever seeing this place," he commented.

"That is because you have never been here," I told him.

He looked it over for a moment or two, then scoffed, "While it is pleasant, I hardly see why we rode a fortnight out of our way to view it. Surely there are grander waterfalls in Middle-earth."

I could not contain the smile spreading across my face. "Indeed there are, but none like this one." And with that, I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me to the edge of the falls.

* * * * * * * * * *
Gimli stood in stunned silence, looking at the ethereal beauty surrounding them. "I have never seen rocks such as these," he whispered as his hand gently caressed the shimmering cave wall, his eyes shining in wonderment.

"This place belonged to Haldir and myself--it was our little secret," I explained. "I promised I would never tell another soul of it."

"And yet you have brought me here?"

"I think Haldir would have understood. I could not leave Arda without seeing it one last time. It holds many memories for me."

"Such as. . .?"

"He kissed me for the first time here," I told him, pointing to a spot near where Gimli was standing. "I was so young and he was so brash." I chuckled, "I think he planned all along for it to happen and I walked right into his trap, but I did not mind." A pause, a sigh. "I still miss him, Gimli."

"As you always will, my love."

"Does that not bother you? That someone else owned my heart before you, that he owns a part of it still?"

"Why should I be bothered? He loved you and made you happy. Now those tasks are mine."

A smile crossed my face. "And you do them so well." An idea suddenly came to me, and I felt the smile grow bigger. "Close your eyes," I said, playfully. "I have something for you."

As Gimli did what I commanded, I unhooked Haldir's old barrette from my hair. Dropping to one knee, I clasped it to his beard. "You can open them now."

Gimli's big brown eyes opened and he looked down at me, then at the object now decorating his beard. Regarding both me and the ornament, he asked, clearly puzzled, "Here, what is this?"

"A small token of my love."

He studied it for a moment before commenting, "This is quality work."

"Yes, it is."

He fixed his gaze on me. "He gave this to you." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded, twining my hand around his, my fingers curling through his luxurious whiskers. "And now I give it to you. May you wear it in good health for many years to come."

"Aye, and with pride." I pulled him forward then and tenderly kissed his lips, bringing a smile to his rugged face. One kiss turned into two. . .and then three. Before it could become four, however, he pulled away and remarked, "We should head back to camp, before it grows too dark."

"Nay, Gimli--you must see what the night brings. This place sparkles as if infused with a million colored stars."

"Humpth." He dropped down and sat on the floor against one of the walls. "I suppose we can wait one more day before continuing our journey to Valinor," he fairly grumbled.

"One more day will not harm us, Gimli," I teased as I, too, dropped to the ground. "I promise that the Lady of Light will still be waiting for us." The mention of Galadriel brought a grin to Gimli's face, a grin that only broadened as I crawled into his lap and snuggled close. I burrowed my face into his soft beard, inhaling his familiar, comforting scent, as his brawny arms encircled me, hugging me to his stout, muscular body. My hand unconsciously fell over his heart, feeling the strength of it beating in his chest.

Strong, vibrant, alive.

It soothed me, comforted me, and for one magical moment, I could believe it would beat forever.

THE END


Translations: (Hope I got these right. . .)
Adar--father
Ada--daddy
îon-nîn--my son
Arda--Middle-Earth
Mellon-nîn--my friend
Lirimaer--lovely one
Meleth-nîn--my love
"Namaire mellon-nîn. Meleth-nîn. Galad-nîn."--Farewell my friend. My love. My light.