Anestel

I have been wanting to revise Anestel for a long time now, as I have always been aware that especially in comparison to the later chapters of Cuil Eden, it is very much lacking in quality. Of course, when I first began to write and post Anestel, it was to escape from writer's block and the despair that I seemed to be unable to finish a longer story, in addition to feeling like I was censoring myself, because I did not think I could write about the themes that intrigued me without alienating a lot of people. Thus, when writing Anestel I went for quantity over quality, wanting to preserve the impetus of the story before inspiration would dry up again and leave me with a half-finished story.

Quite a few years and more than 250 000 words later, I do not think that this is something I have to fear anymore, and so I decided to revise Anestel to get rid of the many mistakes I made when I first began to write Tolkien fanfic, and to make it read more smoothly. This is still not perfect, but now at least I feel like I no longer have to wince when someone tells me they are rereading this.

I'm going to repost this in parts of about 5 of the former short chapters, although it will probably take me some time, as I do not want to neglect Cuil Eden.

And as always, if you find any inconsistencies or mistakes, feel free to point them out to me. :)

Title: Anestel
Part: 1-5/34
Author: Esteliel
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Pairing: Glorfindel/Legolas
Rating: NC-17 for the entire story
Warnings: non-con, MPREG, d/s

~~~

It had been raining for days, and Legolas' clothes were soaked. They stuck to his skin, cold and clammy and wet, no longer any protection from the weather.

Legolas was exhausted. He had left Mirkwood more than a week ago, and it had been raining ever since, so that he felt as if he would never be dry and warm again. If it were not for Lainiell, his stout-hearted brown mare, he doubted that he would have survived the journey at all. But even though he knew that he had almost reached his destination, he needed to rest again. He was shivering uncontrollably, and could barely hold onto the mane to keep himself on his horse's back.

He stopped Lainiell beneath a tree where they would be sheltered at least from the full force of the storm. He would have liked a fire to warm himself and perhaps even to dry his clothes, but there was no dry wood, and even if he could have found some, he had no tinder to start a fire. All he had found in his saddlebags was some bread, but that had done him no good. No matter how hungry he was, he just could not keep it down. Finally, in his despair, he had given the bread to Lainiell and urged her forward without any rest.

But now he was too tired to ride on. A short rest was all he needed, even one or two hours of sleep beneath this tree would suffice... Shivering, he curled up beneath his cloak. The ground was wet and cold, but he was too tired to mind.

Just when his exhausted mind was slipping into reverie, he heard Lainiell make a surprised snort, and then, all of a sudden, there were hands on his body, yanking him up and pushing him against the tree. He felt cold steel against his throat and a hard, armored body pressing against him.

“What is Sindarin scum doing in the woods of Imladris?” a cold voice asked him.

Legolas trembled with fear and exhaustion. "I seek the Lord Glorfindel," he whispered, trying to keep as still as possible for fear of the blade against his throat. "I mean no harm; I am alone and without weapon."

Laughter followed his words, laughter from several elves, although he could only see one.

"And what do you want from the Lord Glorfindel?" the dark-haired Noldo with the sword in his hand asked. "I do not think that he wants to talk to the likes of you... I think that I should just kill you and save him the trouble."

"No, please!" Legolas begged helplessly. "Please, I must see him! I bring him very important news!"

"And what is this news that you can not tell it to the sons of the Lord of Imladris?" another Noldo asked and came closer. He looked exactly like the man who held Legolas captive against the tree, and it was then that Legolas realized that these had to be Elladan and Elrohir, the twin sons of the Lord of Imladris.

"I cannot tell you, Lord... My words are meant only for Lord Glorfindel. Please, take me to him – what harm can it do?" he pleaded. His eyes were gleaming with tears, even though he had cried so much already; he had not thought that there were any tears left. But to fail now, now when he had come so far...

"Let us take him home," the other decided. "If he has lied and Glorfindel does not know him, then at least he can entertain us. He is pretty enough for a Sinda."

The Noldo closer to him laughed and cruelly yanked at Legolas' hair. "If you want to lie with a Sindarin whore... But you are right, Elrohir, let us take him home."

~~~~

Glorfindel was talking with Elrond about a newly arrived message when he heard the sound of hooves outside. "It looks like your sons are back from their patrol," he remarked with a pleased smile and then went with the Lord of Imladris to greet them.

Outside, there stood the dark-haired twins with the guards they had taken on patrol. But there was another person with them, someone who was dirty and very wet, as if he had traveled long in this weather. Long, golden hair stuck to his face; he had wrapped his arms about his too-thin body and trembled in the chill wind, but only when Elladan pushed him forward, so that he fell to his knees in front of Glorfindel, did the Elda remember where he had seen him before.

"Now talk!" Elladan sneered. "Go on and give the Lord your important news."

Legolas looked up into Glorfindel's eyes. "Do you... remember me, my Lord?" he whispered, his voice trembling.

Glorfindel frowned, but nodded. "Yes, I think so. What was your name again?"

"Anestel..." Legolas lied, his eyes resting on the ground in front of him.

"You were one of the stable boys of Mirkwood's king, I think?" Glorfindel said thoughtfully, then laughed. "Oh yes, I remember having you near the small lake where you keep your horses. What are you doing here? Have you missed my touch that much?"

Legolas felt the heat color his cheeks as he bowed his head to hide his humiliation. "I was not allowed to stay in Mirkwood any longer, my Lord. I am... I am carrying your child."

Stunned silence followed the unexpected revelation. Elladan was the first to recover from the shock with a snort of disbelief. “Could you not think of a better lie? Ai, to insult us so; I should have killed you right when I saw you!”

“It need be no lie, Elladan,” Elrond interjected calmly. “There have been tales of such a thing among the Sindar, though it has been a long time since I heard them...”

Elladan shrugged and gave the youth a disgusted look. "And why should we believe you, whore? Who knows with how many you have been?"

Legolas was crying now, his hands wrapped protectively around his belly as he looked up at Glorfindel in despair. "You know that I had not lain with anybody before you had me, my Lord! And there has been no one else since!"

Glorfindel gazed at him with an unreadable expression. Then suddenly he knelt. "Let me see!" he ordered, and when Legolas hesitantly pulled his arms away, he opened the young elf's tunic to lay bare the slight swell of his belly. He rested one hand on the warm skin, smiling at Legolas' frightened look. "Indeed, he is not lying."

"Are you sure?" Elrohir asked.

Glorfindel nodded. "Yes; that is my seed growing inside him, without a doubt."

"Will you let me stay here, my Lord?" Legolas asked quietly. "I do not ask for anything!" he added hastily, "but I am afraid for my child... I will do whatever you ask of me, but please do not send me away!"

Glorfindel laughed at that. "What possible use could I have for a Sindarin stable boy? No, child, you have entertained me well back in your realm, but do not think that I would feel pity for a Sinda. It is only because you are bearing my heir that I will allow you to stay."

He nodded to one of the servants. "Feed him and bring him to my room," he said coldly, and then left without another word to Legolas.

Now Elrond stepped forward and looked down at the young elf. With a frown he noticed his slender hips, the unnaturally pale skin, the visible ribs. "How old are you, child?"

"Forty, my lord..." Legolas answered timidly.

Elrond shook his head in disgust. "This will not be easy for you," he predicted, then turned around and went back inside.

~~~~

Legolas was brought to Glorfindel's rooms and left there. After several minutes, another servant entered and put a tray with food in front of him. Then he left again without speaking a word, and Legolas was alone.

The food smelled very good, not at all the scraps a prisoner might expect, but after some spoonfuls of soup Legolas felt the now familiar nausea arise. With a sigh he stopped eating, even though he was still very hungry, for he knew if he ate any more he would just throw it up. At least he was slowly beginning to feel warm again, after far too many days of the unsettling cold that seemed to have crawled into his bones, filling him with a vicious chill which he had never experienced before.

With longing he looked at the large bed that stood at the back of the room. It looked very tempting, soft, warm and covered with sumptuous pillows and blankets, and he still felt so tired... All he wanted was to lie down and sleep, sleep for days on end, but he was still clad in his filthy garments and would stain the bed with the dirt. Yet he did not want to undress, not when he was alone in a house filled with his enemies. Any moment someone could come in again, and he did not want to be any more vulnerable than he already was.

And certainly Glorfindel would not want a Sindarin stable boy in his bed, even though it had once pleased the Noldo to use him...

Legolas sighed and sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace. A servant had started a fire, and he was grateful for the warmth that slowly dried his clothes and his hair, even though he feared that a part of him deep inside would never feel warm again.

Glorfindel still did not know who he really was, and neither did Lord Elrond. That was at least something good which had come from the almost five hundred years of enmity between the Sindar and Noldor of Middle-earth. For centuries, no Noldor had been in their kingdom, and so no one here could possible know what Thranduil's youngest son looked liked. If they knew that they had the son of their greatest enemy under their roof, they would not let him stay here, and Legolas was afraid of being sent away again, if they would not even do worse... There was no place left for him to go. He could not return to Mirkwood, and he had no other friends. He had never been away from his home before; with the conflict between Mirkwood and Imladris, his father had not wanted to put his youngest child into the path of danger, and so Legolas knew nothing but the heavily guarded areas of his father's wood.

Of course, once Thranduil found out that his son was with child, there had been no affection left for him...

Legolas shuddered when he remembered that moment. His father had been more angry than he had ever seen him. Thranduil had known that the father of his child was no elf of Mirkwood, for none would have dared to lie with the young prince. Legolas had lied then in his despair, and told his father that it had been a human. He could not have told him that it had been a Noldorin lord who had half seduced him, half forced him when he had been out at the lake to guard the horses. No, had his father known that Legolas' child was of Noldorin blood, was indeed the son of a much-hated enemy, he would certainly have killed him in his rage.

But even with the lie, it had been bad. His father had slapped him, called him a disgrace and a whore in front of the court and banned him from his kingdom. And so Legolas had fled, taking only his horse and some bread with him, and had found no other resort in his despair than to go to Imladris.

At least Glorfindel had not turned him away. Legolas knew that he had no reason to expect either kindness or mercy from the Noldor, but he had meant what he said. He would do anything Glorfindel asked of him, would work for his living, do whatever task he was set, if only they allowed him to give birth to his child in safety.

~~~~

When Glorfindel entered the room some minutes later, he found the youth dozing in front of the fire. He sighed in annoyed exasperation. “What are you doing? You are still wet and dirty. Get up and take a bath!”

Fearfully, Legolas tried to obey, but after he had taken a few steps, he felt his strength leave him and he stumbled. Glorfindel caught him before he fell, and frowned when he noticed how little the youth weighed. "Have you eaten?" he asked.

"Some of the soup," Legolas answered tiredly. "I am hungry, but... I cannot keep much down."

"Very well. Then I will have to share your bath, to make sure you do not fall asleep."

Legolas blushed when he felt Glorfindel's hand wander down his body, stroking his thighs. It was very obvious what the Lord wanted from him, but Legolas was too tired to protest. And if this was the price he had to pay for staying here...

He let the Noldo lead him to the bathroom, where the tub had already been filled with hot water. Glorfindel quickly disrobed and sat down in the water, gesturing for Legolas to join him, and when the youth finally settled down in front of him, he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back against his chest. He chuckled when Legolas tensed, moving his hands possessively over his chest until he brushed a nipple and Legolas gasped. Intrigued, Glorfindel kept playing with it until the youth was shuddering in his arms, caught between pleasure and revulsion. His fingers searched for the other nipple and caressed it gently as well, and then he pinched it cruelly.

"Ai!" Legolas whimpered, writhing helplessly in Glorfindel’s grasp, though he knew there was no escape for him. "Please, do not torment me so!"

"You have become very responsive," Glorfindel mused, sounding as if he were pleased by the discovery, and at last returned to more gentle caressing.

"I... have become very tender there, in the last weeks..." Legolas admitted softly, embarrassed and ashamed by the strange changes he could neither understand nor halt. Soft moans escaped him despite himself when Glorfindel kept gently massaging his nipples before one hand wandered downwards, rubbing Legolas' slightly swollen belly.

"It is fascinating, the way your body is changing... I have never seen a pregnant male before. I have heard that even for you Sindar, fertile males are a rare thing," Glorfindel said thoughtfully. "I think I will keep you here in my rooms. I will enjoy seeing you heavy with my child..."

Legolas sighed and rested his head against Glorfindel's shoulder, surrendering himself to the touch of the hands that kept exploring his body. He was soon moaning again when the hands strayed between his legs and forced his thighs apart, baring his swollen organ to the Noldo's touch.
Glorfindel chuckled softly. "Still so hungry for my touch, pen neth? It is a wonder no one took you before I did. You are like a wild colt begging for the bridle... But I have broken you in well, have I not? You were moaning my name every time I took you."

"Ai, please!" Legolas gasped, writhing beneath the strong, skilled hands. His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment at the Lord's words and shame at his own wantonness, but he could not fight against the pleasure that Glorfindel's touch awoke in him.

Glorfindel laughed. "Do you even know what you are begging for, child?" he asked and moved his hips forward so that his swollen shaft rubbed against Legolas' cleft. "Is it this, hmm?" Legolas whimpered helplessly, and Glorfindel took his hips and pushed himself forward, burying himself to the hilt in the youth's heat with one hard thrust.

"No!" Legolas choked, his hands desperately searching for something to hold on to, finally clutching at Glorfindel's arms. "Please, stop! It hurts!" he pleaded, crying hot tears of pain and of shame at being taken thus, and yet he knew that it would take only a short while until the heat would spread through his body and make him writhe in the Lord's lap, as he had twice before.

"Ahh, I like taking you like this," Glorfindel purred darkly into his ear. "Can you feel it, how hard I am inside you? I love your tightness, how your body can barely adjust to me... I do not even have to move, your muscles are trembling around me, milking me like only the best whore could..."

"But I am no whore, my Lord!" Legolas sobbed.

Glorfindel smirked. "Are you not?" he breathed into the elegantly pointed ear and then ran his tongue up to its tip, taking it into his mouth to gently bite and suckle. His fingers started their play with Legolas' softened length anew, quickly arousing him once more, and then, just when the youth started to moan and writhe in helpless need, he stopped his touches. "Are you not?" he asked with a small smile. "Are you not my whore?"

"Yes, yes, I am..." Legolas whimpered. And was it not the truth? Had he not just sold himself to Glorfindel for the right to stay? "Please!" he begged, tears running down his face, and he kept crying while Glorfindel took him hard without any consideration for his exhaustion.

~~~~

When Glorfindel had spent his pleasure inside Legolas' body, he had to pick the youth up and carry him to his bed, for Legolas' legs refused to support him. Glorfindel laid him down on his bed so that he could rest while Glorfindel dried and dressed himself. Then, just when Glorfindel had finished braiding his golden hair, there was a knock on the door and Elrond entered his bed chamber.

"Greetings, Glorfindel. I wanted to have a closer look at your little Sindarin runaway," he explained while he took in the picture of the naked and exhausted youth on the bed. "Only, of course, if he is still able to stay awake after you tired him so."

"Nay, I am awake, my Lord," Legolas said and flushed at how he must look.

"Sit up then," Elrond ordered curtly and sat down beside him. He ran his hands down the youth's chest, taking special notice of the soft gasp Legolas could not suppress when he brushed a nipple. "How long have you been so sensitive?" he asked, gently palpating the area surrounding them.

"For several weeks, my Lord..."

Elrond nodded and continued his examination, now running his fingertips over Legolas' belly. In some places he gently pressed, but always stopped before it could get uncomfortable. Finally he broke off and ordered Legolas to get up, then stepped behind him. "Bend forward a little, and put your hands against the wall."

Legolas obeyed without protest. He closed his eyes and tried desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to escape him. He had never felt more ashamed, more humiliated than he felt now at having to present himself so to the Lord of Imladris, his father's greatest enemy.

Elrond laughed softly as he rested his hands on the small, taut buttocks that were presented to him so invitingly. "Peace, child. I do not desire to ride a Sindarin mount..."

Legolas sobbed quietly and bowed his head, so that his long hair fell into his face and hid his tears. Elrond's hands slipped between his thighs and parted them. He chuckled when he saw the small ring of muscle; it was swollen and red, and white seed with a slightly reddish tint was leaking out of it.

"Others do desire to ride you very much, I see," he said with a quick, amused glance at Glorfindel who sat on his bed and watched them. "You can continue to use him thus for some more time, but when his belly grows heavier, you will have to be more careful."

Then Elrond started to touch and prod Legolas' shoulders and back, leaving nothing untouched as though Legolas were a horse he thought to purchase. Carefully, he ran his fingers over the visible ridges of Legolas' spine, making a sound of displeasure, then gently kneaded the muscles at the small of his back until he was finally satisfied. "Now go and rest, child, you must be very sore," he laughed and patted Legolas' buttocks a last time. "The Lord Glorfindel has quite an appetite. You are going to need all your strength to keep him satisfied. And you would do well not to rouse his temper..."

Then he sobered and turned to Glorfindel. "Everything appears to be well with him so far. I will keep examining him regularly, and scour the library for accounts of this curiosity. I have never witnessed a male give birth before, but I am certain that I once acquired a few esoteric texts written by a Sindarin healer. Still, I hope we will not encounter any problems, for this is a strange and rare condition even among the Sindar. Let him rest in bed for the next week; he should sleep as much as possible. And feed him – he is far too thin. He needs to put on weight, for his body will have to sustain the child as well."

Glorfindel nodded and clasped his shoulder as he accompanied him to the door. "My thanks, Elrond. I am sorry to cause you such work..."

"No, do not worry about it, my valiant friend," Elrond answered with a smile, "After such long years of service, certainly you are allowed your follies. Were it one of my sons who had filled him with his seed, I would have made the whelp crawl home to his father – but if it pleases you to make him bear your children, certainly I shall not hinder you."

~~~~

For the next week, Legolas slept in Glorfindel's bed. He quickly grew accustomed to the rhythm of living in Imladris. At night, the golden-haired lord would take pleasure from his body, while during the day he had duties to attend to, and so Legolas was left alone. He would sleep most of the time, and when he was awake, he would stare at the trees that grew outside Glorfindel's bedroom. He missed the scent of leaves and earth and the feeling of grass beneath his feet, but it took already most of his energy to serve the lord and to force himself to eat, so there was no strength left in him to rebel against the decreed rest.

Finally, the week had passed and Elrond came to have another look at him. Once again Legolas had to endure the lord's hands on his naked body, but at least this time Glorfindel had not used him before, and so he was spared that particular humiliation.

"I am quite satisfied with his condition," Elrond told Glorfindel at last. "He no longer requires rest. He can get up again. In fact, I think he should join us at the table for dinner this evening. But he is still far too thin. If I were his father, I would not have let him conceive for a few decades yet, but as he was so eager to have your seed fill him, he will now have to suffer the consequences."

Legolas slipped back beneath the coverlet in embarrassment. He had no desire to meet the other inhabitants of the valley; he knew already that everyone would share the lord's opinion of him. But he was no whore! He had been a virgin when Glorfindel had taken him against his will... And at least at the beginning it had been against his will, until Glorfindel forced pleasure on his body and made him abandon his honor as he begged for more.

But there was nothing Legolas could do when Glorfindel nodded and promised to bring him along in the evening. Then Elrond took another look at Legolas and raised his brows.

"I hope you will find something for him to wear then, for although I can understand that you like to keep him nude in your bed, I would not be amused if you were to take him to the table clad in naught but his skin, pretty though he is."

Glorfindel laughed and clasped the lord's shoulder, casting a smug, possessive look at the frightened youth. "Aye, you are right, my Lord. I had not thought to get him garments as he had no need of them. But fear not, I will find something for him until the tailors can see to him. It is a shame, though, to cover up such beauty. See how he blushes still, as if he were not exactly aware of what his uses are..."

Legolas turned his head in shame, tears of helpless despair forming in his eyes once more, and he exhaled in quiet relief when Elrond left the room at last. Then Glorfindel stepped closer, his face unreadable, and wound some of his hair around his fingers. Legolas' face was drawn up for a hungry kiss that seemed to go on and on, as if Glorfindel desired to teach him a lesson – but Legolas had learned his lesson well and held still, submitting quietly for as long as it pleased the lord. He knew what came after, and knew he would submit to that as well, praying only that Glorfindel would be merciful and not hurt him. Yet to his surprise, the lord stepped away at last and opened the drawers of a large chest to rummage through his clothing. Finally he threw a simple green tunic onto the bed, a look of displeasure on his face so that the youth flinched in fear that he might have angered him somehow.

"Try this one... I will go and search for some leggings among the twin's old clothes; those should fit you better than what I have here."

Legolas took the tunic gratefully. He had not been allowed any clothes at all for the last week, and although he had done nothing but sleep during that time, he was very grateful for the opportunity to dress. It did not do much to change his situation, but at least he would not feel so very vulnerable anymore, he thought.

~~~~

When Glorfindel finally returned with a pair of plain, dark leggings one of the twins had last worn several years ago, he found a most endearing sight waiting for him. Legolas was wearing his tunic, which was far too large for his slim frame. Although he had wrapped a belt around his waist, the garment kept slipping down and baring a white shoulder, tempting and tantalizing Glorfindel who stood silently by the door to enjoy the view for a moment. It seemed that Legolas had finally given up the fight with the tunic, for he sat in the open window, gazing at the trees outside and forgetting everything around him as he listened to the songs of the birds.

Slowly, Glorfindel stepped towards him. With the oversized tunic, the Sinda looked younger than ever, and Glorfindel felt a most unexpected wave of both possessive- and protectiveness arise in him. He let the leggings fall to the floor as he reached Legolas, slipping his now-free hand up a soft, pale thigh. Legolas flinched in surprise at the touch and looked up at Glorfindel with a mixture of both fear and surrender to his fate in his eyes.

"Ah, roch neth nín," Glorfindel sighed, "how beautiful you are!" The fear did not leave Legolas' eyes, but all Glorfindel did was to lower his head until their mouths met, and when, after some seconds, Legolas' lips parted hesitantly, Glorfindel's tongue gently invaded his mouth. He drank in his honeyed sweetness, playfully chasing the timid tongue until Legolas finally relaxed, and then Glorfindel kept kissing him until they were both out of breath and Legolas' eyes were hazy with longing.

~~~~

A short while later, Legolas had relaxed so far that Glorfindel could envelop him in his arms without feeling the youth flinch away. Legolas sighed and rested his head against Glorfindel's shoulder while the lord gently stroked his hair. Glorfindel could feel the sweet breath of the youth against his throat, could feel the warmth emanating from the slender body. It pleased him, to have the fragile Sinda trust him so... And yet, why he would feel that way he could not say.

Legolas closed his eyes. He could still taste Glorfindel in his mouth, feel the gentle touch of his lips, so unexpected and yet so welcome after all he had experienced, even though he knew he should be ashamed of his easy compliance. Yet the lord had surprised him. He had not thought that Glorfindel would be capable of such gentleness towards him, and it made him afraid. He had been lonely for so long... If he now took this gentleness, this concern for granted, if he took it for real – it would only hurt more when Glorfindel would push him away again and use him like a possession, like the whore he had called him.

But right now it felt so good to be held in his arms, as if Glorfindel truly cared about him, and for the first time in weeks Legolas felt at peace. To close his mind to all that had happened, to relax and not think about the strange changes in his body or his father's anger...

"Did you like the song of the birds?" Glorfindel asked with unwonted kindness. "We can go outside if you like. I think the sun will do you good."

Legolas nodded silently against his shoulder. He did not dare to say a word or move, for fear that Glorfindel would release him and return to his usual coldness, but the lord surprised him when he picked him up with a laugh.

"You weigh almost nothing," he chided and quickly grabbed an apple before he carried Legolas outside. He gently sat him down beneath a tree, then joined him on the ground and pulled him into his lap. "You are so silent," Glorfindel mused, "are you afraid?"

Legolas nodded against his chest, too tired to resist the lure of such compassion, even though he knew it could not be true. "Yes," he admitted quietly. "I... I can feel my body changing, and it scares me. I do not know... I do no understand..."

"Do not fear, sweet child," Glorfindel said with a smile. His hands moved to the belt around Legolas' waist and opened it, resting his warm, large hands on Legolas' belly. "You live in the house of the most skilled healer of Middle-earth."

Legolas bit his lip as he lowered his gaze to watch the Lord's hands caress his skin. "It still scares me," he whispered. "My belly is swelling more each day, I can feel the child growing inside me..."

"Yes," Glorfindel sighed, pressing a tender kiss to Legolas' brow, "'tis true, you are but a child yourself. Be at ease, pen neth, I think you will give me a very beautiful child."

Legolas was silent for a while. Then he covered Glorfindel's hands with his own, pressed them to his belly. "Will you... take it away from me?" he whispered, tears escaping his eyes as he lowered his head in defeat. "After I have given birth, will you send me away from here?"

Glorfindel shook his head and laughed. "Ah, child, you should be more aware of your own worth! Do you not know what a rare and precious thing you are? No, I will not let you go. I will keep you for my own, and you will bear my children. I had given up all hope to sire heirs to the house of the Golden Flower, as I have never desired to lie with women, but you are truly a gift of the Valar."

"More children?" Legolas whispered in despair, his slender body shuddering with his sobs as he for the first time realized the hopelessness of his situation.

"Ah, roch neth lend nín..." Glorfindel sighed. "I am a gentle master, you will see that it is very easy to please me. Do not be so scared! Is it not an honor for a mere stable boy to bear children of such noble blood?"

Legolas could not stop crying, but when Glorfindel's arms closed around him in an attempt to reassure him, he had no choice but to accept the offered comfort, for he knew there was nothing else for him now but what scraps of affection Glorfindel offered. He curled up against the lord's broad chest, hid his face against his robe and wept until his tears were spent at last, and Glorfindel's hands and quiet voice had lulled him into a state of tired submission.

Glorfindel then took a small knife and cut the apple, then brought a piece to Legolas' lips. "You need to eat something. Come, just a few small bites. I know you have not eaten yet."

Legolas sighed and parted his lips, allowing the lord to feed him. He took the offered pieces carefully from Glorfindel's fingers, chewed and swallowed without tasting, his thoughts lost in despair as he contemplated the hopelessness of his situation. He did not even realize that he had indeed managed to eat the entire apple until Glorfindel told him so with a small smile.

"That was not so hard, was it?" the Noldo praised; then he leaned back against the tree and tugged Legolas down with him. One hand gently combed through Legolas' hair as he marveled at the silken texture while idly caressing the youth's belly and flanks with the other hand, pleased by the elegant lines of the body that kept tempting him. The youth was lovely, though too thin, and truly too sweet to resist, so that soon his touch grew bolder. Glorfindel ran his hands up the insides of Legolas' thighs, yet kept avoiding the youth's slowly hardening length until Legolas at last made a soft, pleading noise and moved restlessly beneath his fingers.

"Tell me what you want, roch neth," Glorfindel whispered, "ask me for it; I want to hear your sweet voice!"

"Ai!" Legolas moaned shakily, "touch me, please!" He felt so ashamed at his wantonness, but at the same time he was just too tired to fight Glorfindel any longer. It was so much easier to simply submit and accept the pleasure he was offered, for he knew that Glorfindel could just as well have chosen to give him naught but pain...

"Please, my Lord!" he begged again, tears of shame and need in his eyes, and moaned gratefully when at last Glorfindel's hand wrapped around his hardness and began to move.

"Yes, sweet one," Glorfindel purred into his ear, "show me that you want me; moan for me...", and Legolas helplessly obeyed, moaning and whimpering while Glorfindel teased him until he felt that he would die if Glorfindel would not grant him release – and it was then that he suddenly became aware of someone standing right in front of them.

He gasped, shocked and mortified to be found in such a shameful position, but Glorfindel just laughed and kept stroking him until Legolas finally came with a choked whimper, his seed staining his belly and his thighs while the other man's disgusted gaze rested on him.

"If you are quite finished playing with that... thing," the stranger told Glorfindel sternly, his lips curled in disgust, "Lord Elrond would like your opinion on a message. He awaits you in his study."

Legolas closed his eyes in despair when he thought about what he must look like, but Glorfindel only laughed at his expression and wiped his hand on his thigh before he stood. "Oh, most certainly Erestor; I am finished here."

The he leaned down to tousle Legolas' hair, smiling at the youth's humiliation. "Was that not enjoyable? Even Erestor could see how much you liked it. But I will have to leave now. Stay here as long as you like; I will be back soon."

~~~~

When Glorfindel and Erestor were gone at last, Legolas curled up beneath the tree and cried bitter tears of grief and pain. Never before had he felt so ashamed. It was not only that someone had witnessed such an intimate act; even more terrible was the disgust in Erestor's eyes which made him sob in despair. He knew that he had brought this disgust upon himself, for had he not moaned in lust and begged for the lord's touch like the whore he had been called? It was no wonder the other was disgusted by having to watch his cowardly wantonness, for Legolas felt disgusted himself by what he allowed Glorfindel to do to him. To bring such shame to Mirkwood... His father had been right to banish him from his kingdom. He was no prince; he was no warrior. He was weak, too weak to even for a moment resist the offer of pleasure though it came from one who had shamed and humiliated him to the core of his soul.

In despair, he cried himself to sleep beneath the tree, and when he at last woke some hours later, still as exhausted as before, he realized that the time he had so dreaded had already arrived. It was evening, the time when the Lord of Imladris would gather with his friends at the table for dinner. It would be the first time for Legolas to leave Glorfindel's rooms since he had arrived in Imladris, and although he had often wished for this during the week of enforced rest, he now thought that he would have been happier – and safer – if he never had to leave Glorfindel's rooms again.

He was terrified of what would await him at the hands of others, what he would see in their eyes when they looked at him. He was afraid of his utter vulnerability, of how powerless he was without any friends in a realm of the Noldor. And he knew how his father and his court had treated captives, for he had heard a few of the warriors brag...

Yes, Legolas knew what was waiting for him, but he could do nothing to change it. He did not even own his own body anymore – all that was left for him was to obey Glorfindel and try to protect his unborn child.

With a despondent sigh, he returned to Glorfindel's bedroom and there dressed in the clothes he had been given. The old leggings and the lord's own green tunic hung from his too-thin body in a way that made him think of a child dressing up in its father's clothes. Legolas sighed when he saw himself in the mirror. He looked terribly young – younger than he actually was.

With new determination, he tore off some loose threads and then began to braid his hair. He was not yet allowed to wear the braids which denoted an adult, and neither could he use the intricate knots only members of the royal family wove into their hair, but at least he could wear the slender braids of the youths of Mirkwood, to show that he was not a child anymore.

When he was finished, he looked at his reflection in the mirror with a sad smile. He remembered how proud he had been the day he had first been allowed to wear those braids. And he had been looking forward to the year when he would finally come of age. There had been so many dreams connected with that day, yet now those dreams would never come true. They had been childish dreams, innocent dreams of happiness, friendship, love – but now he was no longer innocent. Now he would give birth to a child before he was even allowed to wear the braids of an adult... He wanted to laugh at the thought, and to weep in despair; it was inconceivable.

"Are you sad again, little beauty?"

Legolas knew all too well to whom that quietly amused voice belonged. He did not even have to raise his head – after the last week, there was nothing of Glorfindel which he had not been forced to see, touch or taste. Then the lord stepped behind him and rested his hands on his shoulders, nuzzling his neck.

"Mmh, you smell so sweet, you make me hungry... But I do not think that we have enough time left until dinner. Alas, I must wait and have you for dessert." He turned Legolas around to face him, looking him up and down. "You look so young and lost like this; Erestor will absolutely hate me!" He grinned at the thought, tracing the small braids with his fingers, then shook his head and began to unravel them. "Leave your hair undone," he ordered, "you look more beautiful like this."

Legolas looked at him, unable to speak. Surely the lord could not mean that? To present him to Elrond's house with unbraided hair, like a child who was not yet allowed to leave its mother's presence?

"But I am no child, my Lord!" he finally exclaimed, "You can not ask this of me! It is my right to wear those braids!"

It took only a short moment for Glorfindel's expression to change from amused to angered. "Who do you think you are?" he demanded, his eyes dark with rage as he slapped the youth. "What are those rights you speak of? You have no rights. You are mine; you will do what I say! And do not dare to start crying now!" he added furiously when the first tears of shock and pain began to escape Legolas' eyes. "Do I not care for you? Do I not protect you? I should have given you to Elladan, to pleasure him until he tired of you and gave you to the guards! Perhaps that would have taught you gratefulness!"

Legolas sobbed helplessly, held upright against the wall by Glorfindel's hands. "I am sorry," he cried, trembling violently. "I am sorry, my Lord!" His cheek hurt and he felt so scared, aware once more that no one here would help him, no matter what Glorfindel chose to do to him. He had gotten used to the strangely gentle Glorfindel, but this was a different man, a stern, powerful warrior who had slain a Balrog and walked the Halls of Mandos, someone who commanded and was obeyed. Someone who could kill him in an instant, if it pleased him...

"I am sorry..." he whispered again, bowing his head in a gesture of supplication, closing his eyes as he felt Glorfindel's hands release him. But instead of another slap he felt those hands in his hair, and when he dared to look up again after some time, he saw what those hands had wrought.

Now he wore knots in his hair. Not lover's knots and not those denoting rank or family, but knots of possession. The kind of knots one would weave into the hair of a favored mare.

He wore Glorfindel's knots of possession.

"Now wipe those tears from your cheeks," the Noldo ordered coldly, "and follow me. I do not want to be late because of you."

~~~~

Legolas kept quiet during dinner. He tried to eat some of the offered food, but as always his stomach would start to turn after the first few bites. Glorfindel left him alone for the most part and kept discussing political issues with Elrond and Erestor. Legolas was grateful that people seemed to ignore him, although he knew that they were all able to see the knots in his hair, and knew what they meant. Slave, the knots said, whore, slut, possession, thing... Legolas could feel their weight whenever he moved. They felt heavy, stiffling his freedom – like an iron collar would feel to a thrall.

"You are not eating," Glorfindel suddenly said and shook his head in reproach. "Here, try these berries, they are my favorites... So sweet; you can taste the warmth of summer in them."

He held a ripe, red berry to Legolas' lips, who had no other choice but to open his mouth and accept the offered fruit.

Across the table, Elladan smirked. "You already have him eating out of the palm of your hand, I see."

"Do you not know the old saying? Honey is the easiest way to gentle a colt to your hand," Glorfindel said and possessively wound his fingers through Legolas' hair, while Erestor made a sound of disgusted disbelief.

"He did not seem to need much gentling this afternoon. I recall him begging for the touch of your hands while he was writhing in your lap."

Legolas lowered his eyes, pale and trembling with shame to have everyone know of his wanton behavior, when Elladan as well joined the conversation.

"Tell me, child, are all young Sindar as pretty and as easy to tame as you? I might have to visit the Greenwood then and find myself something to play with..."

"Elladan!" Erestor scolded, "You know it is far too dangerous for you to go to Mirkwood. And furthermore, I would be quite satisfied if Glorfindel's little slut would be the first and the last Sindarin acquisition to our household!"

Legolas flinched at their cruel words and kept his gaze down on his lap, where his fingers gripped the cloth of the tunic so hard that his nails left marks. It hurt so much to be so powerless, to sit here and let them talk about him as if he were a possession, an animal, something to be used for breeding only. But there was nothing he could do; nothing beyond desperately hating the elves around him with all his heart.

Yet even that he could not do, because Glorfindel was right. They were indeed gracious. They might humiliate him, give him hurtful names, but they did not touch him – did not harm him. And he knew what happened to prisoners; he had heard stories the warriors told about what happened in his own father's cells...

No, Legolas decided, he had no right to hate them, not when it could be so much worse, and he did not have the right to hate Glorfindel, who looked after him and would protect his child. So he fought back his tears and kept silent, looking down and answering softly only when Glorfindel asked him something. Meekly he took with his lips the offered food from the Lord's fingers, and only a faint blush showed his embarrassment at having his submission flaunted before the entire table.


~~~~~~~~~~~
pen neth = young one
roch neth = colt
roch neth nín = my colt/young horse
roch neth lend nín = my sweet colt
~~~~~~~~~~~


The distance from Mirkwood to Imladris should, according to Fonstad's Atlas of Middle-earth, be roughly around 800km. A normal horse can manage 50km a day, while a horse specifically trained for endurance riding can easily manage 100km per day in competitions. I have decided to go with the latter for Legolas' horse here, as I see Elvish horses as superior to mortal breeds, even though Legolas would not have her trained for endurance.