The Grooming of Aragorn
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
17
Views:
2,786
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
17
Views:
2,786
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Grooming of Aragorn
"Nooooooooooooooo!" screamed Aragorn, "Please Legolas, no!" He backed away from the golden haired elf, who was brandishing a most violent weapon. Soap.
"Aragorn, you know it's for your own good. You're asking for Arwen's hand in marriage in two weeks, and you need to behave like royalty, not street scum." Legolas answered patiently. Aragorn, the once great war hero, and King of Gondor, cowered and began to cry.
"But WHY?! It's going to suck all the life out of me. And I only want to get married for presents!" Wailed Aragorn.
"Well if the soap doesn't then Elrond will do the job." Legolas muttered. With much coaxing and an occasional threat or two, the elf finally got Aragorn undressed and washed.
"Uh.Aragon, is that dirt *painted* on?" Legolas asked suspiciously. Aragorn nodded his head sheepishly. Legolas sighed and continued to scrub the grime from Aragorn, having to use several bars of soap, and countless barrels of water. Finally, it seemed the job was done.
"There now, that wasn't so bad was it?" Legolas said as he handed Aragorn some nice new fresh elvish clothes. Aragorn just sniffed, and said,
"Well at least I don't have to take a bath again.right?" Aragon's voice wavered in fear as he saw the elf glaring at him with anger and annoyance.
"Yeah.till tomorrow." Aragorn let out a shriek of anguish and kept trying to think of Arwen, who he was doing this for. Eww…wait, let’s not think of Arwen, maybe just the wedding presents. After the marriage, he could go back to his old self.
"Now it's time for your manicure and pedicure." Legolas gushed happily. Aragorn stared at him blankly.
"My what?" Legolas' happy expression faded somewhat.
"A m-a-n-i-c-u-r-e and p-e-d-i-c-u-r-e." Legolas answered testily. "Don't tell me you don't know what that is." Aragorn shook his head and looked down at the floor. Stupid elf was determined in making him into some queer, like Frodo.
"It's for your hands and feet, your nails." At this point Legolas flashed his own well filed and clean fingernails. "I file mine every night." Legolas said proudly, eyeing Aragorn's grime filled nails with unease, as if it were contagious.
"But my nails are fine!" wailed Aragorn.
"Aragon, there are things hibernating in your nails."
"So?" Aragorn asked sulkily. Legolas just sighed again, and dragged the sulky Aragorn to the nearest beauty parlour. "Hi Legolas!" An elf in soft blues and greys approached Legolas and Aragorn, who was squirming in fear and retaliation.
"I take it you'll want your usual, Legolas?" The elf asked, her enthusiasm fading noticeably as she eyed Aragorn warily.
"No thank you, today I'm here for him." Here Legolas pushed Aragorn forward into the stylists chair. He's going to have a manicure, pedicure, and have his hair washed cut and styled." The elf, frozen with images of grooming this *thing*, blinked twice and nodded, motioning for a group of other elves, to join her.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Legolas smiled as he heard Aragorn's screams, as he saw the elves circling him approaching with scissors, dye, and some type of tin foil.
SIX HOURS LATER
An exhausted group of elves fell to the floor in exhaustion, and Legolas carefully stepped over them to see Aragorn's new look. Legolas gasped in amazement. Aragorn was blonde, and his rugged features had been sharpened, to make him look even more handsome. And, Legolas noted, his nails were much cleaner and well rounded, despite all the torture they had endured.
"My god, Aragorn...you look like Viggo Mortenson." Aragorn blushed and modestly answered,
"Nah- he's much more handsome than me." ***Yeah………...right*** Legolas grabbed Aragorn's hand and pulled him out of the chair.
"This is great! Now let's go home and get some sleep, tomorrow is a long day."
"What are we doing tomorrow? Fighting Orcs?" asked Aragorn hopefully.
"No," answered Legolas angrily, " Tomorrow we go shopping!"
"Aragorn, you know it's for your own good. You're asking for Arwen's hand in marriage in two weeks, and you need to behave like royalty, not street scum." Legolas answered patiently. Aragorn, the once great war hero, and King of Gondor, cowered and began to cry.
"But WHY?! It's going to suck all the life out of me. And I only want to get married for presents!" Wailed Aragorn.
"Well if the soap doesn't then Elrond will do the job." Legolas muttered. With much coaxing and an occasional threat or two, the elf finally got Aragorn undressed and washed.
"Uh.Aragon, is that dirt *painted* on?" Legolas asked suspiciously. Aragorn nodded his head sheepishly. Legolas sighed and continued to scrub the grime from Aragorn, having to use several bars of soap, and countless barrels of water. Finally, it seemed the job was done.
"There now, that wasn't so bad was it?" Legolas said as he handed Aragorn some nice new fresh elvish clothes. Aragorn just sniffed, and said,
"Well at least I don't have to take a bath again.right?" Aragon's voice wavered in fear as he saw the elf glaring at him with anger and annoyance.
"Yeah.till tomorrow." Aragorn let out a shriek of anguish and kept trying to think of Arwen, who he was doing this for. Eww…wait, let’s not think of Arwen, maybe just the wedding presents. After the marriage, he could go back to his old self.
"Now it's time for your manicure and pedicure." Legolas gushed happily. Aragorn stared at him blankly.
"My what?" Legolas' happy expression faded somewhat.
"A m-a-n-i-c-u-r-e and p-e-d-i-c-u-r-e." Legolas answered testily. "Don't tell me you don't know what that is." Aragorn shook his head and looked down at the floor. Stupid elf was determined in making him into some queer, like Frodo.
"It's for your hands and feet, your nails." At this point Legolas flashed his own well filed and clean fingernails. "I file mine every night." Legolas said proudly, eyeing Aragorn's grime filled nails with unease, as if it were contagious.
"But my nails are fine!" wailed Aragorn.
"Aragon, there are things hibernating in your nails."
"So?" Aragorn asked sulkily. Legolas just sighed again, and dragged the sulky Aragorn to the nearest beauty parlour. "Hi Legolas!" An elf in soft blues and greys approached Legolas and Aragorn, who was squirming in fear and retaliation.
"I take it you'll want your usual, Legolas?" The elf asked, her enthusiasm fading noticeably as she eyed Aragorn warily.
"No thank you, today I'm here for him." Here Legolas pushed Aragorn forward into the stylists chair. He's going to have a manicure, pedicure, and have his hair washed cut and styled." The elf, frozen with images of grooming this *thing*, blinked twice and nodded, motioning for a group of other elves, to join her.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Legolas smiled as he heard Aragorn's screams, as he saw the elves circling him approaching with scissors, dye, and some type of tin foil.
SIX HOURS LATER
An exhausted group of elves fell to the floor in exhaustion, and Legolas carefully stepped over them to see Aragorn's new look. Legolas gasped in amazement. Aragorn was blonde, and his rugged features had been sharpened, to make him look even more handsome. And, Legolas noted, his nails were much cleaner and well rounded, despite all the torture they had endured.
"My god, Aragorn...you look like Viggo Mortenson." Aragorn blushed and modestly answered,
"Nah- he's much more handsome than me." ***Yeah………...right*** Legolas grabbed Aragorn's hand and pulled him out of the chair.
"This is great! Now let's go home and get some sleep, tomorrow is a long day."
"What are we doing tomorrow? Fighting Orcs?" asked Aragorn hopefully.
"No," answered Legolas angrily, " Tomorrow we go shopping!"