Vaniel, My Heart

Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. No monies are being made from this work. Original characters are part of the story and owned by the author.

Vaniel, My Heart
by Sienna Dawn

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Chapter 8 - What Dreams

Imladris......

Vaniel moved and there was pain so she ceased her movements.

Her head ached and she wanted to shut out the ceaseless droning voice that insisted she open her eyes. She wanted to sleep instead. Sleep and return to the sweet dreams.

But the voice insisted, demanding, forcing her to acknowledge that it could not be ignored. And when she finally turned her attention to the voice, she realized it came from a distance. Long did the voice call Vaniel, filling her heart with hope and warmth, showing her she was loved and secure in the warm blanket of her mother's love.

"Mother!" Vaniel abruptly screamed and sat up. Her eyes were wild as she looked around her.

Vaniel did not recognize this place. Fear gripped her heart, but the panic that threatened to boil over was suddenly soothed by a distant memory. She did not know this place and yet it was familiar. It resonated with reassurance. It spoke of safety. And then a secondary thought entered her mind. This place was elven. Slowly her amber colored eyes explored the room, her hands holding the soft bedsheet that covered her body close to her chin. What place is this? her mind asked.

Just then, a door slowly swung open and Vaniel, terrified, cowered back, away from the towering presence that entered the room and seemed to fill it with his essence.

Haldir frowned, his eyes flashing. He gazed down at Vaniel but said nothing. She looked frail and small in the large bed, her dark curls framing her face and falling about on the pillow behind her. Her honey-colored eyes framed by black lashes were wide with fear. He studied her. Now that her scratches were healed and the torque removed, the grime and dirt cleaned away, Vaniel looked like the elven elleth her features proclaimed she was.

Haldir also realized that she was a lovely young elleth, her frailty adding to the delicate aura she radiated. This realization made Haldir suddenly uncomfortable, and his frown deepened, giving him a dark and glowering countenance. He watched Vaniel for a moment. Her eyes were wild and wide with confusion, and she sank further into the bed when she caught his glare. Cursing himself silently for not controlling his thoughts better, Haldir softened his demeanor and brought his hands before him so she could see he was unarmed.

Deliberately lowering his voice, he spoke softly but did not take a step further into the room, "Vaniel," his eyes were gentle and cautious, "do you remember how you came here?" Haldir watched Vaniel carefully, suddenly aware of another presence stepping close to him. He turned. It was Rual, one of the healers. Exchanging brief glances, the healer chose to remain out of sight, listening instead to the interaction between his patient and the tall warrior.

Vaniel looked at the strange blonde elf, for she deduced he was a First Born, but knew him not. His was a commanding presence, and this cowered her. He was tall, taller than she remembered elves to be, certainly taller than the Wild Men and they had been much taller than she. His eyes were intelligent, keen, confident. His manner bespoke of one used to giving orders. His magnetism was undeniable and he radiated strength and power. This thought further frightened Vaniel for she had no recollection of how she had gotten from the village of the Wild Men to this place. Was this elf dangerous to her? He had called her Vaniel. Was this, then, her name? Her shoulders slumped slightly. She had no memory.

Ignoring Haldir's question, Vaniel raised the sheet closer to her body and slowly looked around the room. She had no recollection of this place. Her throat ached, and her head throbbed. Bringing her fingers to her forehead, she winced as she touched the bandaged wound.

Her eyes instantly flew to Haldir's face, accusation and distrust shining openly in her golden eyes. What had this elf done to her? In her heart there was fear and anger.

Haldir shook his head, understanding all too well what was coursing through her mind. "Vaniel," he began, "we found you south of Tharbad. There was a skirmish, you were injured. Do you remember?" His eyes searched her face.

Vaniel's face remained impassive and her eyes blank. "Nnn...no." she stammered. "I remember nothing." Her voice sounded strangely hollow in her ears. Her throat ached when she spoke and she felt as if it had been scratched raw from the inside. She brought her hand up to her neck and rubbed, thinking that something was different but not knowing what.

Her eyes looked around her again. The room was luxurious, draped in rich fabrics and sturdy carved wooden furniture. The light from the outside filtered through a filmy blue curtain throwing a dreamy coolness into the room. Looking at the elf before her, she asked cautiously, "Who are you?" She studied his long silken hair, the grave face that watched her. Who was this elf that dared to enter her chamber? Her eyes swept his body, fixing him in her memory. His overwhelming male presence still frightened her, but she would not let him see this in her eyes. Feigning a confidence she did not feel, Vaniel calmly met Haldir's gaze.

Haldir endured Vaniel's stare and chuckled at the way her eyes boldly appraised him. Rumil had been right....she did possess a warrior spirit. Suddenly, he found himself desiring to befriend her.

Relaxing somewhat, he answered her question, keeping his voice light, "My name is Haldir, Vaniel. I am a kinsman to the lady who raised you."

He watched her digest this information and realized it meant nothing to her. He was familiar with the loss of memory that some head wounds brought, having seen it many times. But he wondered if her condition was perhaps brought about by the extent of her suffering at the hands of the Wild Men. He had given Vaniel the barest of information, having been warned by the Healers that he must proceed carefully and not risk too much at once. That no blood was shared between her ancestry and his own was a thing that could be explained later. The look of confusion on Vaniel's face served to make Haldir realize that explanations as to who she was could come later. He knew time, and only time, would show him the best way to approach the mystery of her parentage, one he himself did not know.

Vaniel thought for a moment before shaking her head, "Well, if you say we are kindred then this I must accept, but I know you not and know not how I came here." She studied the elf before her, finally taking her eyes away from him. His presence curiously disturbed her. He was too...too....too male, she decided. He exuded masculinity and she was not accustomed to greeting strange males in a bedroom and most especially not when she was nude beneath the sheets! She peaked beneath the silky sheet firmly held up to her chin and then raised her eyes to Haldir's face.

Haldir stood quietly watching Vaniel. He suppressed the desire to smile as he watched her dip her nose beneath the sheet. A slow rosy blush crept up her cheeks and this reaction to her nudity in his presence made him uncomfortable. He hoped she did not think he had personally removed her garments, for he had not and opened his mouth to say something to the effect. But when her eyes met his, he felt as if he was drowning in their golden pools and speech inexplicably deserted him.

Breaking the eye contact, for he was finding it hard to breathe, Haldir spoke, "If you desire to rise I will send you a waiting maid. Perhaps some food or drink, for you have had little of both save the potions and broths the Healers brought to you." He half turned to give Rual a glance and saw approval reflected on the Healer's face.

Vaniel considered the idea and decided it was a sound one. "Yes, please, I am hungry and I wish to leave this bed. But I am unclothed." She held the sheet up to her neck, her blush deepening.

Haldir smiled for he was beginning to find her an interesting elleth. Elf maidens did not blush. But then, he reminded himself, she has mortal blood. He winced. Mortals were for the most part impetuous and headstrong, their life-fires burning strong and bright within the short span of their lives. He had admired a few mortals in his long life, but most he now shunned as they were growing distrustful of the Eldar. Yet, Vaniel had elven blood to her. That much he did know of her background. He shook his head, he was starting to get confused. He noticed she had been staring at him.

Haldir recollected his thoughts. Ah yes, the food, the maid. "Very well." He bowed elegantly and turned to leave.

Vaniel had been watching Haldir and was amazed at how his smile transformed his face. It suddenly reminded her of another face.....a very beloved face. A face that often smiled at her with deep love. She knew there was warmth, security and comfort in that love. How could this strange elf remind her of these things?

"Wait!" Vaniel called.

Haldir halted at the door and turned, his thoughts now under control, his mind clearer. Sapphire eyes calmly met golden ones.

"You say we are kin." Vaniel saw Haldir nod. "By what line?"

Haldir's eyes studied Vaniel before he answered, "By the lady who raised you, she whom you call Mother. I am cousin to that lady." He watched Vaniel nod and look away, frowning slightly as if trying to connect the information to a memory.

Haldir had been about to add that although his cousin, Eryniel, considered herself Vaniel's mother and had eventually adopted Vaniel, Vaniel was not truly of the same blood as Eryniel. Therefore, under elvish customs and law, neither Eryniel, he or his brothers were true kin to Vaniel. It was a situation similar to Lord Elrond and Aragorn, whom the elf lord had fostered and raised. Although Aragorn had considered Elrond as his foster-father, no blood was shared between them and therefore Aragorn had been free to woo and later marry Elrond's daughter, Arwen. Yet, out of kindness and compassion for the elleth on the bed, Haldir thought the better of it and instead of giving Vaniel what might have been a confusing discourse on family lines and elvish customs, he again gave Vaniel the barest of information, once more remembering the Healers' warnings. Explanations in detail could come later.

Bowing again, Haldir turned and left the room, going in search of a waiting maid.

Stepping around Rual, the Healer allowed Haldir to close the chamber door. He was pleased his patient seemed to be coherent. Time would tell if permanent damage had been done to her mind. For the now, thought the Healer, he would allow Haldir to be Vaniel's main contact for it was apparent a bond had already been established between them. Turning around, he followed Haldir down the main hall.

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