Life is Too Short

Warning: Aggressive Thranduil in this chapter. No actual violence, but he scares Sinda. If that bothers you, please do not read. Thanks.

Life is Too Short

Chapter 9 – Facing the Storm

The time began to fly by, now that Haldir was traveling with us. It was amazing what a difference it made, having him around, and not just to me. The kids loved him and even Glen seemed to enjoy talking to him while I played Pokemon with Dex or watched Lord of the Rings with the kids every now and then. Haldir refused to watch the movie and just couldn’t understand the rest of us wanting to see it.

“You have a real elf, Sinda. Why do you want to watch actors portray events which did not even happen that way? Believe me, I never went near Helm’s Deep and if I had, I would have survived.”

“I’m sure that you would have,” I told him. Of course, the kids had tons of questions for him, especially Dex. He couldn’t wait to get home and buy the books once Haldir told him they were much more accurate than the movie was.

Our nights were still full of passionate sex and I always knew which elf I’d have in my bed, for a change. Since we were together all the time now, Haldir let me sleep more at night and I enjoyed lying wrapped in his arms as much as I enjoyed the sex. I think he felt the same way. I also loved waking up to him each morning, rather than being faced with an empty bed. As each day passed, I thought about Thranduil less and less, leading me to believe that my previous feelings had been wrought by our one and only date. I had to remind myself that the king and I were simply using each other and that I should not invent feelings that were not there.

On the third day, Haldir asked to borrow my Game Boy so he could see what Dex was doing. I explained it briefly to him, but Dex took over and they spent most of the day playing it together. At one point, I thought I was going to have to break up an argument because it was growing a bit heated in the back seat. I think Dex was trying to pull a fast one and Haldir wasn’t letting him get away with it.

“Remember he’s an amateur,” I reminded the boy.

“I hate to tell you, Sinda, but he’s almost better than you,” Dex smirked.

“What?” I asked.

Haldir smirked, too.

“Well of course he is,” I replied. “He’s an elf. He does everything better than I do.”

I was kidding, but it occurred to me that it was true. I didn’t let either of them see it on my face, but when I turned around in my seat, I pondered that fact. He was perfect and I was not even close. I’d been kicked out of Girl Scouts, for God’s sake, and that was just the start of my list of imperfections. What in the world could he possibly see in me? He deserved better than the best human woman and I certainly wasn’t the best. Why was he settling for me? It bothered me, a lot. He could have a supermodel if he wanted, or a Neurosurgeon. In fact, he could have a Neurosurgeon that worked weekends as a supermodel.

He was obviously listening in again, because he laughed then reached up and kissed me on the cheek.

“Quit it, Sinda,” he told me, biting my earlobe.

“Quit reading my mind,” I responded.

“You can read minds?” Dex asked; all interest in the game suddenly gone as the boy’s eyes grew big.

“Only Sinda’s,” he explained.

I let Haldir handle that explanation while I took advantage of his distraction to think a bit, without him prodding my mind. I wanted him to tell me why this had happened to me and not somebody else, but I really didn’t think he knew. If his brothers were going through something similar as well as these other elves that he had mentioned then it was obvious that there was something going on but nobody seemed to have an answer. I wondered if the women had anything in common. Once again, I also wondered about the other women Haldir was seeing. Did he love them? I really hoped not, but couldn’t bring myself to ask him.

It was hard to believe how fast the days passed and before we knew it, we were back in Nevada. It was August and the temperature on the day that we arrived home was 116 degrees. I couldn’t wait to move to Oregon.

When Glen dropped Haldir and me off at my condo, I was anxious to get him inside and be alone with him. We said our goodbyes to Glen and the kids and it was much harder than I had thought it would be. Every one of the kids hugged both Haldir and me and I had a hard time saying goodbye, knowing I might not see them again. I would see Glen at work over the next two weeks, but not the kids. He finally surprised me by saying that they were going to have a going away party for me and he hoped that Haldir could be there for it. Haldir promised that he would attend and for that I was grateful.

When we stepped inside, Haldir went immediately to the sliding glass door and opened it to step out on the balcony.

“This is a wonderful view, Sinda,” he told me.

“Yes,” I agreed, tucking myself under his arm. “If you have to live in Nevada, this is a pretty nice place, but I’d rather live in Oregon.”

“That is good,” he said, turning to kiss me. “I don’t know what I would have done if you had said no.”

“You would have forgotten about me and replaced me with yet another woman,” I told him, trying not to really think about it.

“Is that what you think, Sinda?” he asked me.

I didn’t know what I thought any more.

“I think I need to go grocery shopping if you’re going to be around for a while,” I told him to change the subject. “I know how much you can eat.”

“I will not be around for long,” he finally admitted, frowning. “I can stay for a few days and then I need to go back to Oregon. I want to be sure that my home is ready for you. I will have to discuss it with my brothers, too.”

“You don’t need to do anything for me,” I told him. “I can always stay in a motel until I buy my own place, if it’s a problem with your brothers.”

A strange look crossed his face. “I still have to go back. There are also other things I must attend to.”

“Oh,” I said, understanding. He’d been neglecting his other women and would have to ‘tend to’ them.

“Maybe a motel would be a better idea for me anyway,” I said, trying not to be hurt, but failing. “I’d hate to have to sleep alone in your bed on the nights that you are with other women. Somehow I don’t think that Thranduil would want to visit me there, either.”

“Sinda…” he started to say, but stopped suddenly. “I will not have any other women while you are staying with me.”

That meant, of course, that I would have to find a place quickly. If he was already concerned about his other women now, it was just as likely that he wouldn’t want me at his house for more than a week. I certainly didn’t want to wear out my welcome so I made a decision.

“I’m not going to stay with you, Haldir. I’ll get a motel or a cabin or something. That way you can visit me when you wish to and when you have other plans, I won’t interfere.”

“But Sinda, I want you with me,” he said, looking down at me.

“Part of the time, you want me with you,” I told him, which wasn’t fair. We both knew that it had to be this way. Feeling guilty, I compromised, “I’ll rent a place by the week and on the nights that you aren’t busy, I can come to your house and stay over, if you’d like.”

“We shall talk about it later,” he finally said, touching his lips to mine and letting them linger for a moment. I loved the feel of his lips and could spend hours just kissing him. Of course, the people in the condo down the hill from me might not appreciate the show. Then again, they might like it. Reluctantly, I broke away from his embrace and led him inside.

I showed him around the condo and he seemed to want to soak in every detail. I saved the bedroom for last because I assumed that we would be spending some time there. As I had expected, he quickly stripped us both of our bothersome clothing before pulling me onto the bed with him.

“We have never made love on a waterbed before,” he pointed out, lying down next to me.

“And I think it’s time to remedy that situation,” I told him as he kissed my forehead.

He took his time, kissing different places on my face before moving on to my neck. I ran a hand down his muscular arm before running my fingers along his back, barely touching the skin. I still couldn’t get over the feel of his body. I had felt men’s bodies before and Haldir’s felt better than the best human body I’d ever touched. Of course, the same was true of Thranduil, but I would not allow myself to think about him for the moment. As I continued to graze Haldir’s skin with my fingertips, his mouth grew more demanding on my neck until he finally coerced me onto my back, where he continued working his way further down. I can’t remember any time we had ever spent as long in foreplay as we did that day, but it was incredible. By the time he slid into me, I was more than ready for him. He seated himself with his first thrust and it was ecstasy. His subsequent movements were even better. After a few moments, he rolled onto his back, pushing me into an upright position, straddling him. I pushed against his shoulders to give me the leverage I needed. I don’t think his eyes left mine once until after we found our release together in a feeling of pure bliss unlike any I’d felt with him thus far. I wondered briefly if this was what sex felt like when you were bound to another, but I’d never know the answer to that. Sadness filled his eyes and he pulled me to his chest, whispering in my ear, “We could find out if you would allow it.”

“Never,” I told him, hugging him tightly.

“I would be yours, alone, Sinda.”

“That’s not fair, Haldir,” I told him. I didn’t let him see the tears I fought back as I lay my head on his chest.

We must have stayed there for a good two hours and it felt so strange to have him in my bed, but strange in a good way. Eventually, we dressed and drove to the store where we bought some groceries and ran into two of my friends; a married couple that were also neighbors. The woman, who was very attractive, couldn’t keep her eyes off of Haldir and I didn’t blame her a bit. She flirted with him so shamelessly that her husband began to grow agitated, but Haldir was merely polite to her in return. He only had eyes for me and that thought pleased me tremendously.

Even though we bought groceries, we went out to dinner that night. I was torn between wanting to hoard Haldir away in my condo and wanting to show him off to my friends. I chose the latter, because there were people that I needed to talk to about my plans to move to Oregon. The restaurant we went to was a place where they knew me pretty well. It was actually a restaurant and a bar and I often met up with friends there on Saturday nights. I introduced him to several people and noticed that the women almost always had the same reaction. It was no wonder he had so many women to fit into his schedule.

We got home later than we’d anticipated, but it had been fun, so we didn’t really care. We made love again that night and I once again felt the deeper connection between us, causing me to wonder just exactly what it was.

When three days had passed and it was time for me to take him to the airport, he seemed apprehensive.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him. “You look worried.”

“I am concerned about Thranduil’s arrival and I wonder if I should stay another day so that I will be here when he shows up.”

“Why?” I asked, confused.

“Because he is most unhappy, right now,” Haldir admitted, reluctantly.

“How do you know?” I asked him.

“I contacted him,” Haldir informed me.

“Though your mind?”

“No,” he laughed, “through the phone. It’s much easier and more reliable.”

“Why is he upset?” I asked, still not understanding.

“Because I have kept you to myself for a week now, without apprising him of my plan,” he admitted.

“Well, it’s not like he’s just sitting around waiting for me,” I said.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Sinda,” Haldir told me. “He expected to spend half of this week with you and he thinks that I am intentionally keeping you from him. He is not pleased and I am not sure that I want you to face him alone.”

“I think that if he truly is upset, then showing up to find you here will not make him any happier. I can handle him,” I assured the Marchwarden.

He stood and paced the room. “Sinda, you have only seen his good side, so far. When he feels that he has been wronged, he can become…violent. I do not think that he would hurt you, but I am reluctant to take the chance.”

“It’ll be fine, Haldir,” I told him. “I’m a black belt, remember?”

“This is not a joking matter. He was the King of Mirkwood, Sinda, and though that was a very long time ago, old habits die hard. I do not think that you realize the extent that his anger can reach. I am not saying that he is cruel or unreasonable, but he does not like the way this is going and I’m afraid he will take it out on you.”

“Haldir, let’s go. You’re going to miss your flight,” I told him, ending the discussion.

“If he hurts you, I will kill him,” Haldir said, eyes dark. I think that he meant it.

“He won’t hurt me,” I assured him. “I promise.”

He thought about it for a moment. “No, you are probably right. You will be able to control him better without me here. My presence would just antagonize him further.”

I had a hard time saying goodbye to Haldir, knowing that I wouldn’t see him for over a week. He would fly back down and help me drive my car up and we’d pull a small trailer with some of my belongings. The furniture and everything else was going via a moving company and would be put into storage until I was ready for it.

I assumed that Thranduil would probably only be visiting me for a day or two, since he usually kept rather busy and it was doubtful that he’d take a whole week off to spend with me. That meant that I should have some elf-free nights, which was fine with me. I thought that a rest might be kind of nice, not that I objected to elf sex every night. I was just ready for a break while I finished tying up my loose ends. I had a lot to do.

When it came time to kiss Haldir goodbye, I didn’t want to let go. He hugged me tightly to his chest and kissed me very gently, telling me with his eyes how he felt about me because he didn't dare voice the words. At the last possible moment, we separated and went our different ways. I sighed, walking to my car with a hollow feeling in my heart, knowing that tonight Haldir would be in somebody else’s arms as well as their bed. The last week with him had been perfect. The sex had been great, but it was so much more than that. We had a great relationship. We talked and took walks, did things together. I never got tired of being with him. It seemed that the more time I spent with him, the more I grew to love him and that worried me. It was going to kill me when he finally grew weary of me. What would be even worse would be if he didn’t end it and I had to, once I began to show signs of aging. I hoped that I could do it when the time came and I hoped that I would know when it was the right time, rather than hold out until he was forced to send me away like an aging football player that doesn’t know it’s time to quit.

I was almost glad that we would be apart for a while, because it would give us each time to disconnect from each other a bit. One thing this week had done was to reinforce to me why we each needed others in our lives. It was apparent that Haldir was growing more attached to me than he should be, but I tried to ignore that nagging voice in the back of my head. He would have his other women this week and I would be pushed to the back of his mind.

I didn’t feel like eating, but I went home and made myself something anyway before settling down with my laptop for the evening. They had already hired my replacement, Ralph from Accounts Payable, and I had to train him before I left. Two weeks was not enough time, but I was not going to stay an extra minute. I told my supervisor that Ralph could call or e-mail me if he needed help and I would also leave detailed notes. That was my project for the evenings – writing up a set of notes.

I spent about an hour working on the notes before hearing the front door jiggle then crash open. I knew that I had locked it and I had very good locks. The thought that it was Thranduil who had entered my home suddenly didn’t ease my mind much as the door now slammed closed. Haldir had been right; the king was pissed. I didn’t bother shutting down my laptop, but simply saved my file and set the computer on my dining room table before I went to meet Thranduil. He made it to the top of the stairs before I did and he did not look happy. I stopped in my tracks, suddenly nervous as I wondered if I was in way over my head with the angry monarch. I casually moved back towards the dining room table, effectively placing it between us.

“We had a deal, Sinda,” he told me, his mouth curved up in a sneer. “The Marchwarden had no right to keep you away from me!”

“I really didn’t think you’d care,” I tried to stay calm but the adrenaline had my heart pumping fast.

“You are mine!” he hissed, his eyes dark.

I didn’t think that this was a great start to our evening together. I was also glad that Haldir had left because I didn’t think that this would have ended well if he’d been here. For that matter, it was still a possibility.

“I don’t belong to either of you,” I informed him, which probably wasn’t smart in his current mood, but I couldn’t just let his statement go unaddressed.

“Wrong, Sinda,” he said, edging closer. “You are mine and you will admit it before this is all over.”

I wondered what exactly “this” was and when it would be over. Was he was referring to my eventual death or just to the point in time when the elves grew tired of having me around? I’d worry about his cryptic words later; right now I had him to contend with.

He started around the table towards me and I began edging the other way, trying not to let him gain any ground.

“You’re scaring me, Thranduil,” I told him, hoping it would change things.

“Good,” he said, eyes dark. “Maybe through fear, you will learn who your master is.”

I didn’t like the sound of that at all, but I kept my mouth shut for a change, wondering if I could get out the door and into my car before he could reach me. My mind flew back to Haldir and our little game at the lake in Minnesota. I remembered how easily he had caught me and I knew then that I didn’t stand a chance against Thranduil, either. I could not lock myself in a room because doors didn’t seem to stop him. They might slow him down, though, and my office had a balcony off of it. When I had made my way around the table so that I was as close to the hallway as I was going to get, I turned and ran for all I was worth. I bit back a scream as I heard him fling chairs aside to follow me. He was not running because he didn’t think that it was necessary. He was wrong. I locked the door and ran for the balcony not bothering to close the sliding glass door behind me. It took me about five seconds to get over the railing and slide my hands down to the end before letting go, dropping to the ground. I ran as I heard the bedroom door crash open.

There was a park across the street and I ran like hell, hoping to hide in the bushes. When I got there, I buried myself deep in some shrubbery and sat still, willing my pulse to slow and my breathing to return to normal. I didn’t know what he would do with me if he caught me, but I needed time to sit and ponder my options.

I understood what Haldir had meant, now. Thranduil had once been a monarch who had held the power of life or death over his subjects. Though I am certain that he would not have abused his position, he had been and still was a force to be reckoned with. I was tasting that power now.

“Sinnn-daaaa, you cannot hide from me.” The sing-song words came from somewhere very close yet I had never even heard him approach.

This was ridiculous, I thought as I lay huddled in the bush. What was he going to do to me? He wouldn’t hurt me and I wanted to go to him. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that he cared for me and would not harm me. Still, I had never seen him so angry. Did I want to take the chance? I was torn. I heard his footsteps move away from where I was hidden and I thought about crawling out, but I decided to give him some time to calm down. On the other hand, he’d already had several hours and it didn’t seem to have helped.

I was still deciding what to do when his hand shot through the bushes behind me and grabbed my shirt in an iron grip. I stifled a scream and broke free, hearing the tear of the cloth as I did so. I didn’t care; my fight or flight instincts were kicking in and I didn’t want to fight him. As I began to run, I glanced over my shoulder to see him leap over the bushes like a hurdle jumper and race towards me, eyes intent on my fleeing form. His long hair flew out behind him as his feet lightly hit the ground and began to move. I would have been impressed with his grace and agility if I had not been busy running away from him. I suddenly knew how a gazelle felt with a lion on its tail. Unfortunately, I was no gazelle and I only made it about another ten feet before he tackled me, pulling me to the ground and covering my mouth with his large hand.

“You are mine,” he hissed into my ear. “Why did you run from me?”

I couldn’t answer him with his hand over my mouth and I knew that it was worthless to struggle against him. I closed my eyes, waiting to see what would happen to me. I really didn’t think that he would hurt me and that he just needed to work through his anger. If he had been a man, I would have been terrified, but I reminded myself that he was an elf. The thought helped me to relax and I finally opened my eyes to find his.

He moved his hand away, realizing that I was not going to scream for help. Searching my eyes for a moment, he finally crushed his mouth to mine. I had seen him aggressive before, but never like this. I suspected that my mouth was bleeding from his teeth but I wasn’t too concerned about that. I liked him when he was aggressive. I simply wanted to straighten out that little part about me being his, and him being my master. I thought that needed some clarification.

“Stop,” I told him at last, pushing against his chest. He pulled back momentarily, panting, as he waited to see what I wanted. That was a good sign that he wasn’t going to do anything I didn’t want.

“We need to get a couple of things straight. I belong to no one and you are not my master.”

“You belong to me,” he reiterated, grabbing my jaw. “I have more control over your body than you do.”

I started to protest the ridiculous notion, but when his mouth found my neck and began to concentrate on all those places that he knew so well, the words died in my throat. I moaned and that was all the encouragement he needed. He ripped what was left of my shirt off and tossed it aside. I was glad to be rid of it. I had been wearing only the old t-shirt and gym shorts and it didn’t take him long to get the shorts off, either. I was relieved that he managed not to rip those, because I did not want to walk back to my condo, naked. My neighbors just weren’t that liberal-minded.

I had honestly planned on reiterating to him that he had no power over me, but I couldn’t. All I could do was to writhe beneath him as he dropped down to expertly use his tongue on me.

“Beg me, Sinda,” he told me as I clutched handfuls of grass on either side of me.

“No,” I told him, gritting my teeth. He stopped, lifting his head to watch me.

I waited almost a minute before I begged, though it seemed like twenty. I was not going to win this battle but I hoped that I had a chance at winning the war. He and I needed to talk and it was not going to happen until I had gotten what I needed from him and he had been pacified. Thranduil needed desperately to unwind and we were well on our way to accomplishing that.

He finally dropped his head back down to continue what he’d been doing.

“I want you, Thranduil,” I told him as I neared my climax. “I want you inside me.”

“Beg me,” he said again. I did. I begged and pleaded for him to take me. I knew that he needed me as badly as I needed him, if not even more, but it was part of the game. Like I said, I would gladly concede this battle to him.

When I saw him reach down and heard him unzip his pants, a sigh of relief slipped through my lips. He didn’t bother undressing but simply freed himself and took me roughly, furious with animal need. I would be bruised the next day, no doubt, but I didn’t care. I had never seen such passion from him and I liked it more than I ever would have thought possible. When he finished pounding me into the ground, he flipped me onto my hands and knees and took me that way, growling as he slammed his hard length into me over and over again until I wanted to scream out his name. I didn’t do it because there were people within hearing distance, but I whispered it. When he collapsed on me at last, I knew that he was exhausted and it was not from the sex. It was the anger that had drained him. He rolled away from me onto his back and lay there, staring at the stars and trying to regain his composure. I collected what was left of my clothing and dressed, leaving him to his thoughts.

His eyes suddenly found me and he whispered the words, “Come here, Sinda.”

I did as he asked and he pulled me into his arms, where I lay my head on his chest for a while.

“I’m sorry,” he told me.

“I know,” I replied.

We lay like that for a good ten minutes and when we stood to leave he took his shirt off and put it on me. Mine was shredded and I dropped it into the trash can at the edge of the park. We walked back to my condo without a word and went straight to the bedroom. We made love once in my bed and, to my surprise, Thranduil fell into reverie shortly thereafter. The anger had drained him even more than I had known but that was good because I needed sleep, too. I remembered the laptop and thought I’d better shut it down first, but when I tried to leave he grabbed me and pulled me close again.

“Stay with me.” It was issued as a statement, but I heard the plea, nonetheless. I stayed. The laptop was plugged in and wasn’t going anywhere. I watched him as he fell back into reverie and found it odd to see him lying so still, eyes open. He was perfect, just like Haldir, and I couldn’t believe I had them both. I curled up against him and slept.

I woke up a couple of times during the night to find that he hadn’t moved. It was a little unsettling because normally I slept and the elves did not. Each time I woke, I made sure he was breathing before I went back to sleep, but when the early morning came and I woke for the day, the bed was empty beside me.

“No,” I said aloud, disappointed. I had hoped that he would stay for longer than the night. I really thought we needed to talk, plus I just enjoyed having him around.

“I am here, Sinda,” said a voice that sent chills through my body. Good chills. I turned my head to see him sitting in my big, overstuffed chair in the corner.

“Thranduil,” I said.

He stood and came to stand next to me, brushing some hair away from my face.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked me, his face expressionless.

“No, of course not,” I told him. “I want you to get back in bed with me.”

He smiled a little. “Not yet. I owe you an apology.”

“You already apologized,” I reminded him.

“Then an explanation, perhaps,” he offered. “I had no right to scare you like that or to take you so roughly.”

“I didn’t mind the rough sex, but I could have done without the scary part,” I admitted.

He took a deep breath before starting, pacing as he spoke.

“Sinda, I was the King of Greenwood the Great, the ruler of my realm. I had everything I wanted, assistants and advisors at my beck and call. If I wanted an elleth to keep me company, I simply glanced her way and I had her in my bed. My subjects loved and respected me and my enemies feared me. I should have gone when the last ship sailed, but I chose to stay and that was a mistake. Not only have I been separated from my son and friends for many thousands of years, but I am living in a world where I must stay hidden, blended with everybody else. Do you know how hard that is for somebody like me?”

“I can’t imagine,” I told him, truthfully.

“It was fun for a while, to be free of responsibilities and able to travel the world seeking pleasures and adventures, but like anything else, it grew monotonous after a time.”

He sat on the edge of the bed now, touching the contours of my face with his fingertips as he continued.

“Sinda, I have not loved another or been loved in thousands of years. I have lusted and I have had a myriad of women lust for me, but I cannot love them and I do not allow them to fall in love with me. If they do, I leave them.”

“I’m very well aware of that,” I told him, growing worried. It was part of the reason that I had held myself back, that and the fact that I loved Haldir. I wondered where he was going with all of this. Did he know that my feelings for him had changed and now he was going to leave me, too? I thought that it had to be the case and I braced myself, hoping that I wouldn’t cry in front of him when he told me that it was over.

“Sinda, I understand that times have changed. I am no longer King and I cannot issue orders, expecting them to be obeyed. I am frustrated more than you’ll ever know that I cannot make you do the one thing that I want you to do.”

“What?” I asked. I thought that I had done just about everything for him humanly possible. I didn’t think that I had ever turned him down, so I couldn’t imagine what he had in mind. I nervously awaited his answer.

“All I want is for you to love me the way you love him,” he told me.

~~To be continued~~