breaking the ice

Chapter nine Rough night

When Elrond entered Rumil’s room he found only Glorfindel guarding the Galadhrim’s sleep. “Where’s Erestor?”
Glorfindel turned and smiled ruefully.

Elrond sighed and closed his eyes in defeat. If only Haldir hadn’t come back. But he had and Elrond knew better than to dwell on such things. Locking eyes with Glorfdinel he nodded. “He left and went to his rooms.” The blond nodded, not really knowing whether or not he should inform Elrond on what had transpired.

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Glorfindel closed the door behind them and watched Erestor tenderly place Rumil on the bed. The blond seneschal pulled two seats forward and placed them at the bedside. Seeing Erestor’s look become harder and colder than it had ever been he involuntarily swallowed. “Erestor? Is something wrong with Rumil?”

Erestor closed his eyes and rose, ignoring Glorfindel. The moment the counsellor no longer touched Rumil’s body the Galadhrim began shivering and his lips opened without forcing a sound past.
Glorfindel immediately tried to soothe him but his efforts seemed to intensify the sleeping elf’s trouble. He turned his head towards Erestor and only then did he realise the counsellor was walking towards the door. “What are you doing?”

Erestor turned and his cold gaze pierced through Glorfindel. “What does it look like?”
Glorfindel shrugged. “If you are in need of refreshments I shall get them for you. You need to stay here.”
Erestor snorted. “I don’t know what habits Balrog slayers have but here we sleep at night. So I am only in need of a bed, not food. Goodnight.” He turned and placed his hand on the handle once more but Glorfindel’s outraged cry held him back. “But you can’t! Rumil needs you here. If you’re tired you can share his bed or sleep on the chair.”

Erestor shook his head. “Rumil does not need me. He needs Haldir to use his brains for a change.” He left but as he stood on the corridor he turned once more, daring Glorfindel to retrieve him. The blond was tempted but Rumil suddenly released a tormented wer, er, almost begging Erestor to return.
The counsellor snorted. “Some warrior he is. Falls to pieces after a little fight with his brother.”

Glorfindel had a hard time believing his ears. The only thing that kept him back from lashing out in every manner he knew was Rumil’s tormented cries of pain.

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Feeling a hand on his shoulder brought Glorfindel back to the present and he looked at Elrond in self-hatred. Every time he let Erestor win, every time he let those fights get to him. But now he hated himself even more for doing so. He should have stood up against Erestor, for Rumil’s sake.

Elrond squished his shoulder in support. “Do not trouble yourself, Glorfindel. I know there was worry in his voice before. He cares for Rumil.”
Glorfindel groaned. “If that’s so than why did he leave?”

Elrond smiled and sat down on the vacant chair. “Because he’s afraid.”
Seeing Glorfindel looked stunned and disbelieving he nodded. “Erestor believes it better to hide his feelings.” He wished he could tell the blond why but he had made a promise he would never reveal the truth. It had been the one condition on which Erestor had stayed on after hearing of Glorfindel’s impending arrival at Imladris.
“And Rumil makes it hard for him to do so. Therefore he fights even harder.”

Sounds from the bed stopped Elrond from continuing and he looked at Glorfindel, who shrugged. “He’s been this way ever since our stubborn counsellor left. I’ve got a good mind to drag him back here.”
Elrond laughed at his words. “And gain yourself an enemy you wouldn’t wish your enemies? No, my friend, let Erestor face his demons in his own time and focus on other matters instead.”
Glorfindel rose and started pacing. “Like what, Elrond, like what? It is hard to think of anything different when I see Rumil. And don’t you tell me to leave. Not unless you want me marching straight to his brothers.”

Elrond allowed the blond to pace and vent his anger, understanding his need. After a while the blond spoke again. “I just don’t understand him, Elrond. I can understand he wishes to hide his emotions professionally. But private? Why would he run away from friendship or love? I could understand it if it was unrequited like mine, but Erestor doesn’t even wish to find out if it might be returned. He doesn’t even care enough to know whether his own feelings are friendship or more.” Glorfindel shook his head.

He hadn’t noticed his own slip up, nor had he seen Elrond’s face contort in pain at hearing those words. Elrond’s heart went out to the blond and he ached to comfort him, but he knew that he couldn’t. Wanting nothing more than to address this, so to give Glorfindel a listening ear, he held his tongue. They were both emotionally shaken right now. Too shaken: he might not be able to keep up his pretence.

Instead ocusocused his attention on Rumil and suddenly he gasped. Glorfindel immediately stood by his side, offering his support, but Elrond shook his head, signalling for the blond to stay silent and listen.

As they strained their hearing they could hear Rumil speak softly. Sometimes they could even understand some of the words. “….No… Haldir, you don’t understand…. I ……Phin, please…… Help me…..Erestor….Erestor”

Elrond reached out to touch him but suddenly Rumil flared up, shouting Erestor’s name. He looked as if he’d just had a nightmare and thoroughly confused by Glorfindel and Elrond’s presence.
Elrond smiled warmly. “How are you feeling Rumil?”
Rumil waited for his breathing to calm down and he looked at Elrond pleadingly. “Please tell that all that was just a bad, bad dream. That it didn’t really happen.” The begging in his eyes took Glorfindel aback and he silently cursed Haldir.

Elrond gently touched Rumil’s shoulder. “I’m afraid not, Rumil. Will you tell me what happened?”
Rumil closed his eyes as pain attacked him again. “Haldir burst in while we were playing, Erestor and I, I mean. And he was worried Erestor had hurt me and Orophin felt that and that’s why he had come. But I thought they had left me, I didn’t know about the cabin yet and that’s what Phin felt and Haldir had overreacted. He told me to stay away from Erestor but I told him he’s wrong. And then he left, saying I’m no longer his brother and if tomorrow I don’t go to the cabin he’d knew I had made the wrong choice.”

He started to sob. “Where’s Erestor?” He didn’t know whether or not to believe his memory in which he saw Erestor comforting him.
Elrond smiled. “He brought you here but was too tired to remain. He went to his room to catch some sleep and left Glorfindel here.”
Rumil rose and left the bed. “I have to go to him.”

Glorfindel wanted to follow but Elrond stopped him. “Let him. Let them.” He walked the blond to Glorfindel’s rooms.

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His breathing was shallow and regular now that he had finally found some sleep. But his peace didn’t last long. Much too soon knocks invaded his rest and reluctantly Erestor opened his eyes, willing the intruder away. But the knocks did not relent or fade away but became harder instead.

He groaned and heaved himself off his bed. “Man?”
“Erestor? It’s Rumil. Are you all right?”
Erestor groaned. What was that blasted elf doing here? “I was until you decided to wake me up.”

The door flung open and he glared at Rumil, who seemed relieved to see him.
Now that Erestor was awake and had opened the door Rumil was unsure of how to proceed. “I need your advice.” He was pretty sure Erestor would not deny him advice. Erestor maintained his glare and nothing seemed to indicate he had even heard Rumil.
The Galadhrim swallowed and continued. “Haldir doesn’t seem to approve of our friendship and he told me to choose between you and him. I don’t know what to do.”

Erestor snuffed. “Friendship? You think you are something else, don’t you, warrior of the woods? We aren’t friends, we never were and we never will be. If you have a hard time choosing, you must be unable to draw the line between fantasy and reality. I suggest you return to your bed and don’t disturb anyone else’s rest for this imagination of yours.”

About to close the door Rumil prevented it. “I don’t believe you. You cannot mean this. Not the Erestor I know.”
The counsellor oncee sne snorted. “And just how well do you think to know someone you’ve met only three days ago? You don’t even know your brothers or that pretty March Warden wouldn’t have been able to surprise you. Now release my door.”
Rumil shook his head. “Nay, let me enter. I know you need a friend.”
Erestor pushed him away. “Ni ú avan aur ainat! Ar ni ná ú mellontya!”

Rumil looked stunned but didn’t back away. Now that the door was closed he sat down and rested his back against it. “Well, I am going to stay right here, in case you change your mind and decide you need me after all. You might not be my friend. I -am- yours.”

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Glorfindel allowed Elrond to steer him inside and to his window seat. Hearing the lord rummaging about he glanced behind his shoulder and saw Elrond was preparing his bed. The images that brought to his mind warmed him inside but he quickly drove those thoughts away. “No need to do that, meldir. I’m too frustrated to rest anyway. Join me?”

Elrond smiled and accepted the chair Glorfindel offered. For a while they sat in silence, taking comfort in each other’s presence. It was Elrond that first broke the silence. “Glorfindel, may I be bold?”
If the question startled or worried him Glorfindel did not show it. Instead he nodded his consent, knowing full well Elrond would say whatever he wanted without his permission as well.

Elrond smiled and drew in a steadying breath. “I noticed your words earlier. That your love is unrequited. Would you care to talk about it? It might relieve your mind.”
Glorfindel groaned inwardly at those words, remembering his own words and realising his slip up. He shook his head. “Nay, thank you. It’s nothing.”
Elrond reached out and gently laid his hand on the blond’s knee. “I offer you my support, Glorfindel. Don’t call it nothing. I’ve seen far too many people suffer because of unrequited love, I couldn’t bear to see you wither away as well.”

Glorfindel didn’t answer. His eyes were fixed on Elrond’s hand and he whole being ached to pull the Peredhel close, so much that it hurt to see and feel but one finger. Today’s events had shaken him emotionally and he didn’t hauch uch strength to maintain his distance and composure. “I wish to be alone.”
Elrond closed his eyes and nodded. Withdrawing his hand he rose to his feet. “I will leave you then. But please know that my offer ins.ins.” Seeing Glorfindel nod he turned and left, forcing back his tears at Glorfindel’s sorrow. He had a god mind of asking Galadriel to look inside the other’s mind.

Halfway to the door the Peredhel stopped dead. “Galadriel. Celeborn. I still haven’t contacted them.” He nodded to himself. He would do so the moment he reached his own rooms.

About to take another step he raised his eyebrows, finding the exit blocked.
“Are you going to far speak to them?” Seeing Elrond nod Glorfindel crossed his arms. “Then you shouldn’t be alone. Last time you far spoke you nearly died.”
Elrond laughed at Glorfindel’s words. “You over-exaggerate, meldir.”
Glorfindel shook his head. “I am not. You didn’t watch were you were walking and nearly walked of your balcony.”
Elrond grinned. “I only remember you launching yourself at me, meldir. One moment I was talking to Thranduil about road maintenance and the next I’m trapped between the floor and my seneschal.”

Elrond saw his words caused some hurt to the blond and he sobered. “ive ive me, meldir. My words were careless. I did not think how it must have been for you: seeing me walk such a dangerous path.”
Glorfindel waved the apology away. “I was only doing my job.”
Elrond smiled. “You’re job is too keep Imladris safe and it’s borders strong.”
Glorfindel nodded. “My point exactly. You are most important. If you’d died, Imladris would parish.”
Elrond smiled warmly at his friend. “You give me too much credit, Glorfindel. You, Erestor and the twins would keep her well. And besides, I would only have broken a leg in such a fall. I would definitely not have died.” They both laughed at the words.

Glorfindel poured two glasses of wine and Elrond sat down near the fireplace. He accepted the drink and finished it rather quickly. “Thank you. I’m sorry to disturb your peace and invade your privacy.”
Glorfindel shook his head. “You could never do that. And I am not leaving you alone if you intend to far speak.”

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Celeborn had just finished a rather tiring meeting with his counsellors when he felt Elrond’s presence. He immediately opened his link to Galadriel so they could talk together. `Elrond, mae govannen.` they said in unison, which made Elrond laugh. `Celeborn, Galadriel. I am sorry to disturb you at such an hbut…but…` he trailed off, unsure how to proceed.

Galadriel sensed his worry and trouble. `What is wrong? Haldir, Orophin, Rumil, you or my grandchildren?` `Or Imladris?`
Elrond laughed openly at those words, making Glorfindel raise an eyebrow in surprise. `Your three, I’m afraid. Orophin’s leg is healing rather nicely, but he’s way too stubborn. No, it’s Haldir and Rumil. They’ve come to blows.`

Celeborn nearly fell of his chair at the news. `What happened?`
Elrond swallowed. `Well, he is beginning to form a friendship with Erestor and`
`What? Really? Yahoo!!!!!!` Galadriel shook her head at her husbands reaction. `Calm down, love, let Elrond finish his tale. Then you can dance all you like.` Celeborn sobered instantly and allowed Elrond to continue.
`He’s seeing through Erestor’s mask and we’re all very pleased his giving it a go. I’ve decided to let things slide on that front and pick up the pieces if it doesn’t work out.`

Galadriel smiled at his words. `But Elrond, you -must- get Haldir out of the way. He might over-react.`
Elrond growled, so suddenly Glorfindel jumped up in fear, wondering what they were talking about. `He already did. I’ve sent him and Orophin to a cabin near the Bruinen, using Orophin’s leg and stubbornness as an excuse. Rumil had been to the market and was not yet aware of that. So when he went to see his brothers he found them gone and panicked. Apparently Orophin had felt that, prompting Haldir to go back and make a scene.`

Celeborn and Galadriel simultaneously closed their eyes. They did not like the sound of this. `I have no idea what precisely happened, but it ended by Haldir telling Rumil he no longer was his brother. He was in shock and by the time we got to him he was crying in Erestor’s arms.`

Galadriel’s eyes flashed dangerously as she heard this and broke contact immediately to give some orders. `Well, Elrond. Looks like you can expect a visit from my wife soon. I cannot leave my realm or I would come too. What is Rumil doing for work?`
Elrond grinned. `He’s helping Elrohir and Erestor. I’ll ask him to write you.`

After a few more pleasantries they broke contact and Elrond slumped forward. This session had drained him. He was glad Glorfindel was there to catch him. “I guess I stand corrected, meldir. Thank you.”

Glorfindel said nothing but supported Elrond as he guided him to the bed. The distance to Elrond’s own rooms was too far. Feeling the bed come closer Elrond sighed blissfully but then groaned in guilt as he realised this was Glorfindel’s bed. About to protest Glorfindel silenced him by lifting the sheets and pushing Elrond on the bed. “I’ll sleep on the chair.”

Elrond made no sound and Glorfindel removed Elrond’s shoes before pulling the sheet over Elrond’s body. He tucked him in an then rose to leave but his comment had finally registered with Elrond and the Peredhel reached out one arm. “You’re not.” Tiredness came over him in waves making it hard to talk coherently. “bed” Elrond had now managed to grab hold of the blond’s tunic and Glorfindel was forced to settle on the bed, glad to see Elrond’s eyes glace over before closing.

He pulled his tunic free and was torn in two. Part of him wanted to stay right were he was but another part wanted to get out now and settle in the chair. As if picking up his thoughts Elrond rolled over, flinging one arm and leg over the blond keeping him in place and therefore making the decision for him. Glorfindel sighed and caressed Elrond’s hair before he too fell into reverie.

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“There they are!” Elladan and Elrohir brought their horses to an halt before Orophin and Haldir.

The servant was glad to see the sons of Elrond and he bowed his head respectfully. “Bless the Valar. Master Elladan, master Elrohir. Orophin is ailing and needs attention.”
Orophin had fallen asleep during the ride but now that the horse had stopped moving he woke up. “What’s wrong with Ru?”
The twins looked at each other, realising Erestor had been right. “I do not know, Orophin, but I’ll bet he’ll be glad to see you. Come.”

Elladan noticed the way the servant held Orophin and smiled. But what pleased him most was seeing Orophin lean into him. Knowing Orophin wasn’t well enough to understand Quenya at the moment he addressed the servant. “Ú ilenyála te ná naut.” He grinned when the servant reddened different shades of red. It was always fun to tease him.

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When Elrond woke he had no idea where he was, but he felt blissful and happy and as comfortable as he hadn’t felt in a long time. Opening his eyes he smiled as he looked into Glorfindel’s blue eyes. Wanting to move away he realised he had pinned the other to the spot and felt guilty for taking up so much space.

As he moved his leg Glorfindel moaned and Elrond stilled his movement with a beating heart. One quick glance down told him the blond was aroused and he had accidentally brushed it. Elrond lay completely still, unsure what to do.

Suddenly Glorfindel moaned again and the arm on Elrond’s back pulled him closer. Without warning Elrond found himself on top of the seneschal. /He’s dreaming of his beloved and now he thinks I’m her./ While he was soothing the blond Elrond tried to wiggle away. Very slowly he made progress and in the end he had left the blond’s body. /I think the chair is the safest bet, right now./

He sat up but the movement shifted the bed and Glorfindel flashed up and grabbed Elrond from behind. He yelped when Glorfindel unexpectedly pulled him back. His eyes widened when he saw Glorfindel straddling him. He could see the blond was still very much asleep and Elrond cursed. “Damn it, Glorfindel, wake up or we’ll do something we’ll both regret.” He didn’t fool himself into thinking he could resist Glorfindel from having his way with him. Not that he wanted to.

He gasped when Glorfindel’s fingers started undressing him. Despite the situation Elrond purred and grew hard fast. Soon kisses joined the agile hands and Glorfindel had him writhing beneath him within seconds. “Rato, melmë. Anta lú.” Elrond could not help but moan at the desire and longing in Glorfindel’s voice.
The blond hurried to get rid of his own clothes and quickly blanketed Elrond with his body. “Ni méla ten, oialë.” Hearing this brought tears to Elrond’s eyes. It reminded him it wasn’t him Glorfindel was dreaming of.

The sleeping Glorfindel didn’t notice but closed the distance and caressed Elrond’s lips with his own. /No, this is wrong. I have to stop him. He will hate me if I don’t. If only../ “Glorfindel hmpf”
Glorfindel had used the opportunity to bring his tongue into Elrond’s mouth. He gave Elrond a hard time to think, let alone think straight. His hands and tongue were slowly driving the Peredhel crazy and Elrond bucked and pulled the blond closer, deepening the kiss. All thought had abandoned him.

He felt Glorfindel prepare him and he moaned in anticipation. Glorfindel started to trail a path of kisses down and gave special attention to Elrond’s aching member, making him squirm and writhe in desire. Just when he was about to come Glorfindel left his member alone.
Elrond moaned his displeasure but purred when he felt Glorfindel’s shooting hands on his legs.

The blond placed Elrond’s legs behind him, forcing Elrond to lift his abdomen of the bed. Feeling the blond’s cock near his entrance made Elrond’s flash open his eyes. /Lubricant, we have no oil./ About to speak Glorfindel trust forward and Elrond whimpered as the sudden pain attacked. He was grateful Glorfindel gave him time to adjust instead of continuing.

But Glorfindel was wide awake now. The combination of Elrond’s pain filled whimper and the feeling of reality that had seeped into his dream had brought him back to awareness. He had trouble believing this was real and he thought he had woken from a dream into a dream. There was no way this could be real. But the elf he held was too real to be a dream. Making love to Elrond had never felt so good in his dreams.
But he did not fool himself into thinking this was anything more than him raping Elrond. Through his dream he had taken advantage of his best friend and employer. There was no way Elrond would accept his company after this, if he didn’t throw him out of Imladris in the first place. Tears left his eyes at the thought of having to leave his home. Or worse: staying but never allowed to come near Elrond again.

As Elrond got used to the intrusive feeling he relaxed but wondered why Glorfindel wasn’t moving yet. For a second he feared Glorfindel had fallen asleep in his dream but then he felt drops of water land on his stomach and he opened his eyes to see Glorfindel awake. Awake and crying.
His mind quickly realised what happened and he reached out a hand to brush away Glorfindel’s tears, who looked horrified at Elrond’s movement. “Glorfindel?” There were so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t say them. Not now. Not in this position.

Feeling Glorfindel move out slowly and reading the pain and guilt in his eyes Elrond cursed himself. He used his legs to push Glorfindel back, smiling when he saw the blue orbs widen in disbelief. “Please don’t leave me like this.”

After some moments, which seemed antagonising long to Elrond, Glorfindel nodded and started moving. Elrond felt Glorfindel didn’t want to hurt him more and therefore held back. And so, with the next thrust, Elrond pushed back hard. He needed more friction if he was to come. He could see his actions stunned and puzzled the blond but he was too intoxicated to address it. He kept driving up the speed and pressure until Glorfindel understood and took over.

With every thrust Elrond was pushed back over the bed and he grabbed the bedposts to steady himself, allowing Glorfindel to apply even more force. Suddenly Elrond reached his climax and screamed out his pleasure as he released his semen and contracted around Glorfindel, making him come as well.

Spent, Glorfindel collapsed on top of Elrond but almost immediately wanted to crawl away, realising what he had done. But Elrond’s legs were still around him, holding him in place. “My Lord, please, I, please…”
Elrond steadied his breathing and forced himself to focus on Glorfindel instead of riding the aftermath. “I think you should talk about your love, Glorfindel.” Only then did Elrond realise the name Glorfindel had screamed.

“Tell me, who were you dreaming of?” Glorfindel reddened and made serious effort to leave but Elrond wouldn’t have it. “Glorfindel!” The force behind his words stilled every movement in the trembling blond who averted his eyes. “Who were you dreaming of?”
Glorfindel lowered his head. “Do not ask me that. Please forgive me.”
Elrond, not pleased with this answer shook his head. “Answer me!” His voice carried all the authority he had and the suddenness of the order forced the admission out of Glorfindel like nothing could. “You.”

He reddened and wished for the lightning to strike at that moment. He closed his eyes and fervently wished to wake up, to find this had been just a cruel dream. His eyes flashed open when he felt Elrond’s hand caress his cheek.

“Thought so.” He smiled at Glorfindel’s bewildered expression. “You shouted my name when you came. But you needed to say it.” Then he frowned. “I’m your unrequited love?”
Glorfindel nodded, closing his eyes now that Elrond had a hold on his cheek.
Elrond snorted. “And on what, may I ask, did you base that decision? You never asked or courted me or anything.”
Glorfindel shrugged. “It’s rather obvious.”
Elrond’s eyes widened. “It is?”
“You’re not interested in males.” He smiled bitterly. “And even if you were, it would not be me. I’m just your seneschal.”

He gasped when Elrond moved so suddenly and sharply he had no time to counter it. Elrond had grabbed his shoulders and applied some amount of force on them to make him hiss.

Elrond had wanted to yell at the blond, shake some sense into that brain but he changed his mind as he realised Glorfindel might have some more problems. “How long have you loved me?”
Glorfindel sighed. “Always.”
That answer told Elrond enough.

It told Elrond how Glorfindel had always kept silent, how the blond had watched him fall in love with girls over and over until he had married Celebrían. It also told him the blond had somewhere along the lines had begun to feel unworthy and that had seeped into his soul. But Elrond, in that instant, also realised he had always returned that love, even if had never realised it until lately.

“Glorfindel.” His voice was soft, caring, loving and understanding. He released the shoulders and caressed his arms instead. “How painful it must have been for you. I am so sorry for adding to your pain.”
Seeing Glorfindel open his mouth to speak Elrond placed his finger on the lips to silence him. “You’ve always been my truest friend. I’ve always trusted you more and valued your opinion above all others. Now that I know I don’t see how I could have been so blind. But maybe I needed to be blind, for I had to marry Celebrían.”
Tears welt into his eyes at the memories. He sighed knowingly. “You know, she would have left me, even if the orcs hadn’t attacked.”

Glorfindel’s arms came up behind him for comfort and Elrond leaned in closer, resting against the blond. “To think she was right all alono.Ü
He remained silent for a while, listening to Glorfindel’s breathing. “She said us getting married had been a mistake, that she should never have accepted a husband who could not give her his heart. I called her insane at the time, but now I know she was right. She knew even when I didn’t.”
Glorfindel’s heart ached hearing this. “I am sorry. Had I known I would have talked to her. Or gone away.”
Knowing Glorfindel had misunderstood Elrond shook his head letting his hair touch Glorfindel in a hidden caress. “Nay, Glorfindel. She wasn’t referring to your love for me but to mine for you.” He felt Glorfindel stiffen at the words and kissed the blond’s bare chest. “She was right all along. I just never knew. I’m sorry.”

He shivered. The cold was getting to him. Glorfindel acted immediately by lowering Elrond back on the bed and reaching for the sheets. He was about to stand and leave when he felt Elrond’s arm encircle him. “Glorfindel, will you let me love you?”
The blue eyes settled on him and Elrond opened his own, showing Glorfindel he was serious.

Glorfindel hesitantly nodded and allowed Elrond to pull him back and nestle himself in his arms. His heart pounded madly at the thought of holding Elrond forever and the knowledge it was real and not a dream.

End chapter 9
TBC

Translations:
Man means who, what.
Ni ú avan aur ainat! Ar ni ná ú mellontya! Means I don’t need anything! And I am not your friend!
Aur comes from Sindarin baur
Ú ilenyála te ná naut means don’t forget you are bound.
Rato, melmë. Anta lú means Soon my love. Patience. (lit. Have time)
Ni méla ten, oialë. Means I love you, forever.