Mary's Trip to Isengard

Mary's Trip to Isengard

Starring: Mary Aseltyne and a cast of thousands!

Rated: G

Daily Diary Entry

(I do not own the characters nor am I receiving financial gain from playing with them! This diary is written for entertainment purposes only!)


Day Seven:

I awoke to my last day in Middle Earth with mixed emotions. On the one hand it was my LAST day in a place I had only dreamed about but, on the other hand, I was going to have to spend most of it in the company of that murderous rat-fiend, Grima'. The Twins pouted as I dressed for my day in the wine-colored gown that Arwen had given me while we were in Rivendell. I had reminded them they had to leave me alone with Grima' if I was going to fulfill my end of the bargain made in the very beginning in an effort to gain time away from him. They pointed out that even Haldir didn't believe I had to keep any promises made to "minions of the Dark Tower," no matter how far removed said minions happened to be from their former power, and we should just pack up and leave immediately before Grima' knew what was going on. I petted them and patted them and reassured them that I would never let Grima' take me too far away from them that they wouldn't hear me scream for help. Despite my brave words my heart froze when a knock was heard at the door. Grima' had come to claim his prize.


I opened the door to find Grima' standing there dressed in the same ridiculous costume he was wearing the day before. For all I knew he had even slept in it as he looked rather rumpled and creased around the edges. "I thought we would start our day off with a pleasant walk through the gardens, my dear," he began.


"She is not your dear!" said Elrohir while quickly stepping in front of me, "And anything she does when she is with you will not be pleasant!" said Elladan as he stood next to his brother. This wasn't going to be easy. I finally calmed the Twins enough to at least step away from the door so I could answer Grima's invitation.


"I will go for a walk with you, Grima', but first you must go change out of those clothes and take off that crazy wig," I said. "In fact," I continued, "why don't you wash your hair with this shampoo I found in my suitcase, I have a feeling it was meant for you." I handed him the mysterious bottle of "Heavenly Hair" shampoo which had been slipped into my bag by "someone" before we left from Haldir_Lovers Paradise Resort and Theme Park. "Besides, you could use a shower this morning, you smell like bug spray. As soon as you are ready we can go." Grima' opened and closed his mouth a few times before stomping off to bathe and change and I sent the Bad Boys off to follow him and assist him if needed. "Just make sure he doesn't put any of those stupid pirate clothes back on."


While they were gone I removed the ting-ing-dagger given me by Our Haldir from its hiding place and strapped it to my arm under my sleeve. I could not imagine ever using it but I felt a little safer once it was in place. I wish I could say that Grima' looked more attractive once he had removed the wig, washed his hair and changed clothes but at least he didn't look any worse. I told the Twins to remain in the Tower while we went for our walk and I promised to reward them, lavishly, if they were "good" Bad Boys while I was gone. "There may be some old orc weapons hidden about the place for you to play with, why don't you go on a "treasure-hunt" while I am gone?" Their eyes lit up and they promised to behave so I gave them each a kiss and left for my walk with Grima'.


As we walked along the park-like paths that were laid out like spokes radiating out from the Tower we discussed the "Win a date" challenge and his reasons behind naming me for his final choice. "You knew, more than anyone, that it really wasn't my idea."


"True enough," he cackled, "but consider my other choices from the final three! Dorothy is far too kind hearted and generous for my tastes and Zee," he paused to shudder then continued, "is too entangled with that sorceror, what was his name, Snap? Snoopy? Sneer? Spaz?"


"I think its 'Snape'," I said, "but I am really not that familiar with his character myself. I think he is from a series of childrenbookbooks about a boy wizard and the school he goes to, at least that is what I gather from the gossip around Haldir_Lovers Paradise Resort, and I am told he is quite snarly and prone to preparing mysterious potions, so I guess you were right to avoid that whole situation."


"Yes, well," said Grima, "I have been manhandled enough by wizards of one sort or the other and I have no desire for any further dealings with their like. Your Rivendell bodyguards may be quick to take offense at any perceived missteps on my part but at least they neither one can turn me into a toad or something equally undesirable." It was hard not to tell him that Grima' the Toad would probably be more attractive than Grima' the elf-pirate but I spared him and we talked about his plans for the future. It turned out that his little stint on our Home Page had given him the idea that he may have a future in 'show business' as he felt he had made quite an impression being "scary."


When we returned to Orthanc I sent the Twins out to find some Ents to talk with, after admiring the cache of evil-looking weapons they had found on their "treasure hunt," and went up the stairs for a private luncheon with Grima' in his penthouse apartment atop the black Tower. I insisted that we eat only from the basket of food given us by Eowyn but it was hard to resist Grima's surprise dessert, Thin Mints! "Where did you get these?" I asked, astonished, as I was sure I had taken the package he had stolen from Cara's hoarde and given them back to her. He looked around him as if there might be a spy lurking nearby and whispered, "Promise not to tell?" I promised. "Julie slipped them to me before we left, she thought they would make you feel more 'at home' while you were here." It was hard to tell if he was lying or not as I would never believe that Julie would assist Grima' but I ate them anyway while taking my chances that adn\adn't "spiked" them beforehand.


"So, Grima'," I said after our meal was over and we had gone out onto the balcony to watch the clouds sail past, "just what exactly are your intentions? Now that we are finally alone? I am sure you know there won't be any "hanky-panky" between us and I hardly think my company is worth all this anguish you have been suffering."


"Quite the contrary, my dear, quite the contrary," said Grima'. "All of my years spent in service to Saruman effectively removed whatever spine I was born with and I am eager to learn how to develop a new one...just watching you handle those Imladris assassins, for example, has inspired me greatly. I was hoping to pick up a few lessons in courage and I have not been disappointed in the least." I was not entirely convinced that he was telling me the truth, or that he even knows the meaning of the word 'truth,' but at least he remained an appropriate distance away from me at all times. "By the way," he continued, "would you like to take a look at Saruman's Throne room now? I heard you were interested..."


"Lets go!" I cried and Grima' took me down several flights of stairs and deeper within the Tower, away from the windowed walls and into the great carved throne-room. The chiseled walls were thick and gleamed in the light from torches and candles which were strategically placed around the cavernous area. I sat on the massive obsidian throne and marveled at the craftsmanship and strange, dark beauty of the place. Grima' poked around the room as if he were searching for something he had lost and suddenly lifted a large book up and waved it at me. It was Saruman's Wizard Manual, the one he looks in during the Fellowship of the Ring movie, and I was instantly fascinated. "Let me see it, please, Grima', I have always wanted to look at it," I asked.


A strange gleam came into his eyes as he softly said, "And what will you give Grima' for the chance to see what no other human, besides mysel,f has ever seen and lived to tell about? Perhaps a tender word, a soft caress, or even, I dare to suggest, a gentle kiss?" There isn't a book in the world that was worth the price he was asking but I sat for a moment as if thinking it over now that I realized he really wasn't going to be satisfied with just "watching me" be courageous.


"I think it's time to go back outside," I said, "you can put the book back where you found it." I descended from the high throne seat but, before I reached the bottom step, Grima' held the dark book of enchantment in the air while muttering some dark sounding words and, all of a sudden, the doors slammed shut and the torch and candle lights were extinguished. Within those thick walls all was utter darkness. Grima's evil laughter filled the room.


"You have no other choice but to submit to me, my dear," he said as I heard him warily approaching me, "Your so-called Bad Boys will never hear your screams from within these walls."


"Grima', you are such an idiot," I said calmly while pulling out Galadriel's phial of starlight, leant to me by Frodo, and holding it before me. The instant flash of clear, pure light blinded the murderous rat-fiend and the Wizard's book went flying from his grasp as he attempted to cover his eyes from the glare while shrieking in pain. I removed Haldir's dagger from its sheath and held it menacingly in front of me, "Now, open the door or I will stab you with this and, since it is elven made, you would probably die instantly." At that moment, however, one of the doors was forced open from the outside by my beautiful, wonderful Bad Boy Twins, who had luckily disobeyed my request to go find some Ents and instead had lingered outside the Throne room the entire time. Elladan wasted no time assessing the situation as he flung Grima' over his shoulders, and hurried out of the room with him, saying, "What did we tell you would happen if you broke any of our ground rules, Mister Wormmeat?" Elrohir rushed to my side and gave me a thourough examination to determine what, if any, injuries I had suffered at the hands of our weasly host.


"I'm OK, you big lug," I said as he cradled me tenderly in his arms, "I had the whole situation under control." However, despite my brave words, I started crying and had to be held and stroked and fussed over for a long while before I felt capable of standing on my own. Off in the distance I heard muffled shrieks of pain as Grima' was "disciplined" by Elladan with some of the many weapons that he and Elrohir had discovered earlier that day. "Go ahead, I know you want to join in the fun, I'll just go start packing while you two play with Grima' for a while."


Gwahair and his brothers came soon after to carry us back to Hobbiton in the Shire for our final departure. I reluctantly returned Galadriel's phial to Frodo, who was most pleased to find out how it came in handy during my visit, and wished everyone in Hobbiton a final farewell as our carriage departed Middle Earth for good. The ride home was quite amusing as the boys recounted in gruesome detail the many different lessons in deportment delivered to Grima' after his attempt to trap me in Orthanc. He was left alive, but just barely, and in no condition to cause further mischief for a long, long while. The Isengard Ent-guards had been advised to keep Grima' from ever leaving Isengard to pollute the rest of Middle Earth with his foul presence and they promised to do so,
gladly.


So that is the end of my Excellent Adventure in Middle Earth and I hope you have all enjoyed the tale. The Twins have not let me far from their sight since our return and are, right now, insisting that I need more rest and rehabilitation at their most capable hands. How can I refuse? I still own them a lavish reward and there is plenty of chocolate syrup left....


Love you, Mary


To be continued.....