A Gift of Love

CHAPTER SEVEN

Towards The Future

I had not known what to expect as I heard the soft click of an opening then closing door. I listen with held breath to the soft footsteps that echo in a silent room. He has paused upon nearing the archway that leads to our bed. He stands motionless, perhaps to repeat one last time the words his thoughts dictate he must say. How I wish he would search his heart and find hidden within what I can so clearly see. This between us pains me greatly for rarely do we set a different course, rarely do we not agree even before the matter is spoken. Never for one moment had we not traveled our journey hand in hand, sure together of each step.

I too have spent the long moments he has been from me in debate, deciding how to live with the conflict of Elladan¡'s reason over his heart. I know in my own heart I am right to want this, but I would not have it stand between us. I would say no more, pursue no more after this day if that is what he asks of me. I would weep in silence for what could have been.

"I love you Elrohir,¨ I hear him whisper, already at the side of the bed, kneeling with his hands holding mine. I turn from my incessant gaze at the ceiling above our bed to face him. I ache for him as I reply with all my heart.

"I love you Elladan.¨ I wait, there is more he wishes to say, the effort furrowing his brow.

He has composed his thoughts once more, watching his thumb run over mine.

"I have seen further today, beyond what is, to what could be.¨ He takes a breath yet as I hold mine. Elladan is not taken to foreseeing any more than I, perhaps less so in recent times.

"I have come to tell you.....¨ I watch his eyes, his face reflecting the grief and happiness of his heart.

"I have come to tell you.......¨ He begins again, unable, not unwilling, to say.

"Yes, I have come to tell you, yes. "

It has been whispered so low that I think at first my mind has taken what I desperately want to hear and given it voice in Elladan.

"es?¨ I repeat to him, "you have returned to tell me yes?¨

My brother nods.

"You are sure?¨ I press him so as to leave no doubt my mind is possessed of no trickery.

"No, Elrohir, I am not sure, I doubt and I fear still. But I have also seen the joy that can be had.¨

I stare incredulous at this change of reason. I do not ask then what he has seen, nor do I think to ask it of him later, it is enough that he has had this moment of acceptance. I hold him to me, my mind flooding with one other such momentous occasion when we had cleaved to each other so tightly, the moment he had so hesitatingly declared his love and I had so boldly confessed mine on the strength of that murmured vow.

That far off time had us cling to each other thinking on the consequences of our confession, deciding then that we would pledge ourselves to each other only, in the face of all that we risked in doing so. I know we had thought on the same now as Elladan run his hands through my hair. It is no idle thing we embark once more, yet another part of our dangerous journey.

The weight of the many fears does not burden my heart, just as it has not in the acceptance of our love. A grey shadow has been lifted and I can only see the wonder of it. We would take time later to think on other things. Time now is to revel in the joy my brother's acceptance has given to me.

When we separate, his face is grave and I am inclined to believe he had changed his mind.

He touches my cheek with roughened fingertips.

"I fear losing you above all things,¨ I nod slowly. That is my only fear. I would face all of Morgoth¡¦s evil if it were with Elladan by my side. Without him I would not face life itself.

"I would know all again, I confess I thought little about it on the first telling.¨

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As Elrohir speaks, my mind has not been set at ease by his words. At every turn there has appeared new and great danger. I thought often to ask his forgiveness and change my mind, but his words danced with the joy I caught in his eyes and I can not find it in my heart to deny him once more. So I learn of the potions and wizardry that would change my brother¡¦s body to accept our joined seed, but make him no less male as the child formed within him. I learn further what would be needed to sustain the life within and in part the manner of birth. At this my heart leaps and I try not to close my eyes to see again. I could have described this to Elrohir, not he to me. I have seen it, but do not say. He does not dwell on it, either by design or no.

Then my beautiful brother smiles at me. I do not have to ask the reason. I at least understand the usual manner of producing elflings, a talk started first by Ada, then Glorfindel, until finally Erestor had been the one to complete it. It would have been kind of Elrohir and I to inform them that our mother had already spoke on the subject, but that would have denied us the delights such a situation offered us. We had sat straight faced and asked our questions.

Elrohir has ever been the one for action over words. He can fix me with lust darkened eyes and whisper his desire for me, but he falters at this. I watch, waiting. What he has to say should fill me with delight, for there are many who would within a heart beat offer to be in my place.

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I am reluctant to speak of the part Elladan would have in this process. I have told him of the magics, those potions that will change aspects of my body to ready it for our joined seed with as little passion as I could. I am certain he understands what he must do, after all we understand the way of it among she elves.

The difficulty for us lies in the nature of our physical love. We long ago determined what best suited our temperaments as lovers. He the stronger, fiercer, had proved the more reluctant to take the lead in such things. I the less strong but more easily roused whether to anger or love gladly took the role offered to me. We have long ceased to wonder at it, it is how it is with us. Neither surrenders other than willingly, neither looks to the other with dominance or submission. We are equal as we are in all things.

So it is that we have rarely drifted from that role, it would not take much counting to note the times in our bedplay it has been Elladan who dominated. Now I ask him to do this.

I take his hands in mine and hold them tight. "Elladan...." I begin.

I tell him what I have to haltingly. I have at that moment sympathy for Ada and then Glorfindel who had bravely tried to instruct two bedeviled elflings the way it was between she and he.

Elladan increasing wide eyed wonder has begun to be replaced with a slow grin that has graced over his features. I know when he comes to realise what was to be expected of him

The blush that tinges his cheeks stirs my blood for him. The thought of him looking down at me with those darkened lust filled eyes that I so often have seen reflected up to me coiled heatedly within me.

His eyes trail over my body. I know he felt the same stirrings.

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I cannot use words to describe how it feels to have Elrohir's body close within me. Long ago we had discovered where the joys lay in love making, though simply to have him touch me is joy itself.

If I can find no words for the wonder of my brother¡¦s body pressed to mine, it is a hopeless task to seek such for the feel of him writhe under me and the tight hold of his body on mine as I push deep within the warm reaches of his body.

It is not entirely new to me, and I have long been Elrohir¡¦s willing partner to his exploration of my body and he to mine. It will come to me he says, with more than a wolfish grin on his lips and gleam in his eye. What makes me cry out would be the same for him.

I begin with the familiar. The touch of my hand along his chest, gentle suckling on one nipple, tender rubbing on the other. My leg sliding along his thigh, hip bone hard against his, groins pressed tight. But he has not turned from his position beneath me as has been our practice. He lies looking up to me, his eyes dark.

"Now?¨ I ask hesitatingly to be met with a sly smile and a nod of his dark head.

"Now, I need you,¨ he whispers back to me.

I love him the way he loves me, first slipping a finger, the another into his smooth body. Pressing as far as I dare as he presses back to me. His eyes darkened further if that were indeed possible. There is such a look of desire on his face when I stroke within him that I wonder if I was the same.

**Exactly beloved, to see how you burn for me is a wonder I have never stopped needing to see.**

Had I been selfish then to not offer this to him, my fingers continuing their deep path.

**Nay** comes his reply, **It is I who have greedily sought this from you.**

He rocks hard back against my probing, gasping as he does. He has spoken true. What has me cry out his name and plead for more would have him do the same.

I ready him for me in the way he has not had to in many nights and days past. The oil glistening in the light as it spread on me. Elrohir resting on his elbows as I kneel between his thighs, stroking himself with a little of the liquid that drips to his stomach.

I watch entranced by the action for his hand curls around himself, my own hard flesh throbbing in response. Holding out his hand he nods to the vial, I drizzle a small amount onto his fingers. My eyes follow his to where his own fingers now spread the sweet substance over the entrance to his body. Slowly he pushes them in to ease my passage and fan the fire that burns for him and him alone.

"I love you,¨ he says as he takes my hand from where it lies, smearing the rest of the oil over me. ¡§I want you.¡¨

All thought of my inexperience fades as I press gently at first to him finding myself engulfed swiftly as he pushes against me once more. I cry to the sky at the close of muscle around me, almost forgetting the need to move so that the pain of entry is relieved.

"I love you,¨ I reply, gathering courage to delve deep within him.

His way of soothing my nervousness has succeed, our bodies move as one as they have always done, finding their own rhythm in our dance. Far too soon we lie breathless in each other's arms.

"You have learned well.¨

"You have taught me well.¨

We smile before his lips are on mine and we are lost once more in a world of just two.