Scenes from a Life

Timeline: September, TA 3017 (this chapter)
Author's notes: Please notice that this chapter continues to touch upon the issue of rape. Despite that, I suspect this might be the most romantic chapter so far!

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"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief."
William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

***

The elf and the maidservant sat in her small room beside the kitchen just as many times before, in fact, just like every day after the incident a few weeks ago that had taken away Eadhild's joy of life. Rúmil was still feeling guilty for not having been able to save her and was all the more miserable as he had not even been allowed the fulfilment of letting the revenge of the Galadhrim come over the malefactors. He knew that he would have felt much better if his sword would have drunk their blood, but respected the woman before him enough to obey her word in this matter. The least that he could do for this female that he had let down so badly was to stay with her for as long as she wanted him to. He felt that the Lady of the Light would understand.

Words were scarce between the two at the table, since the conversation inevitably returned to the question of guilt, and if he could have done something differently to prevent it, and if she could have done anything differently and why the law of the humans was so unfair in matters like these.

They finished their simple meal in silence. The other servants, of whom some had been through the same ordeal, had taken on many of Eadhild's duties to allow her some rest while her body healed. It had now, but the scars in her soul were still raw and she knew that she had to do something if she didn't want to live the rest of her life as a trembling girl child, afraid to be alone, or a bitter old spinster hating men. She looked at the Elf for perhaps the twentieth time during the past hour, and finally spoke.

"Rúmil, will you answer a personal question?" she asked in a low voice.
"Of course," he replied. "What do you want to know?" She looked him deep into the eyes for a moment and then lowered her glance to her hands as they nervously fingered the tablecloth. She took a deep breath and said, without looking at him, "Would you make love to me if I were to ask you to?"

Sensing her uneasiness, Rúmil gently caught her hands in his before he gave his answer. "Eadhild, I would be honoured. Why do you need to ask? Our joining when I first met you is a memory I cherish and I would be happy if you would give me one more to remember you by."

"I have changed. My body has changed. I am not as I was ten years ago, but you are the same. How would I know if you still find me attractive?" she voiced her insecurity.

"I am an Elf, remember?" Rúmil smiled, for the first time in days. "Ten rounds of the Sun is for me but slightly longer than the Moon's journey from waxing to waning. I do see that your face is somewhat different, but that only intrigues me. You are beautiful to me, and my hands would surely tingle from exploring your body; it would be new to me and just as lovely as the first time."

His eyes took on a mischievous glint before he continued. "As for how you would know if I'm attracted to you... well, I'm surprised you need to ask that," he said with a quick glance towards his crotch. "You are right in that I have not changed. I don't have any better control over my bodily responses now than what I had then and your mere words have made a certain part of me stir with anticipation."

"But there is one thing I need to ask you also, Eadhild," he continued, fully serious now. "With all that has happened recently... are you sure that you are ready for this? Are you sure that you truly desire to be with a male in this fashion again? Would you not find my caresses repulsive, my attentions appalling? It would break my heart if I were to hurt you... are you sure that you want this?"

"Oh, Rúmil," she sighed and sent him a quick glance, tightening the grip around his hands before she spoke again. "I am not sure of anything and I cannot say how I will react. But I do realize that I will never be able to put it behind me if I just give up. I fear I will never be ready if I do not try. And I am determined not to let those demons rob me of something that has been a great pleasure to me for so long. That would give them power over me and I will not let that happen. Please make love to me this night!"

The desperateness of her voice betrayed her, told him that this was to be a dangerous venture with a highly unsure outcome. But he was prepared to risk it for her, as it would be an opportunity to pay some of his debt.

"Yes," he responded quietly as he bent down to place a light kiss upon the hands he held in his. "Yes, Eadhild, I want to make love to you." His voice was a hoarse whisper as he continued; "I remember your sweet taste and I would experience it again if you let me."

Rúmil stood from his stool and walked around the small table to stand behind her. Softly he ran her blond tresses through his fingers, now and then touching a delicate ear, a soft cheek, the little hollow at the top of her neck. Shifting her hair to the side he sank to his knees to place a trail of small kisses over her neck and shoulders, tenderly, gently, like the flutter of a butterfly. Not demanding, nothing that might show the craving he was feeling now when he knew that she would be his.

He put his arms around her waist and tentatively began to caress her stomach, careful not to let his hands wander too high or too low. Only when she took hold of one of his hands and placed it on a soft breast did he dare to expand his exploration, all the while continuing to kiss her shoulders and take in the scent of her hair. He cupped her feminine charms and finally felt her lean back into his embrace as she let out a deep sigh when his lips closed gently around an earlobe, sucking it into the moist warmth of his mouth.

As one hand continued to hold her, the other slowly traced a trail back to her stomach and further down, first to rest idly in her lap and then to caress her thighs through the thin material of her linen dress, finally to end up sliding across the mound between them..

Eadhild sighed again and let out a small moan. This was pleasure! She felt her fears melt away as she forced her mind to be still and only listen to the voice of her body that told her that the Elf's ministrations were balm to her wounded soul. His hands felt so good on her body and she wished that he would never get enough of this, that he would go on and on, slowly wakening a response from deep within her, kindling a wildfire from the smouldering tinder she had mistaken for ashes, cold and dead.

He placed a final kiss on the cheek she had turned towards him and then rose, gently letting his loose grip around her waist make her do the same. His lips sought her ear again and then he turned her around to shift his attention to her full mouth, half-open with emotion. They kissed eagerly and he let go of all thoughts of consideration, hungrily laying claim to her lips, his tongue demanding entrance to the sweet cavern behind them.

Eadhild willingly parted her lips for his agile limb, raising her arms to reach around his firm shoulders and cling to him like unsteady ivy to the strong trunk of a mallorn. She held on to him when he pressed her body to his bulging need and resisted a shudder when his hard arousal touched her most sensitive parts.

Rúmil's fine-tuned senses had registered her hesitation, so he loosened his grip around her and went back to caressing her hair, her shoulders, and her back, in slow motions totally devoid of physical threat. She relaxed again, allowing herself to trust him and sinking back into the state of no fear.

"Are you sure that you want to go further with this?" he asked and extended the distance between them enough to gently lift her chin and look into her eyes again. They were widened with excitement, and he could not avoid catching a glint of anxiety in her green depths, but wanted her too much not to heed her answer. "Yes, Rúmil, I am sure. I want you to make love to me. I need you."

Then he gently freed her of her light garment and gathered her into his arms in a swift motion before she could repent her words. He turned around in the tiny room and laid her down on the narrow bed and then tucking the blanket around her, so that she would not be uncomfortable even during the few moments it took him to free himself of his own clothing.

Having disposed of all hindrance in the form of clothes, he lay down beside her, by necessity pressed closely to her body, since the bed was made only to hold one person, and a lowly servant at that. He wished that he had had the foresight to think of taking her to one of the guest rooms on the second floor, but didn't dwell long on the thought since the present circumstances could not be altered. Gently he placed a kiss on her lips and then pushed the blanket down inch by inch with his nose, sending a trail of small kisses in its wake.

Eadhild lay passively on her back, indulging in the emotional sensations the Elf was giving her as he slowly exposed her naked skin to the coolness of the room, at the same time causing it to burn in every spot that was touched by his lips. He was gentle and mild, but there was also a determination in his motions that told her to be prepared for the inevitable, the touch of his mouth upon her violated core.

Finally, Rúmil let his legs slide out of the bed and he knelt on the floor, this being the only way the crammed bed would allow him entrance to her secret flower. While teasing a nipple with his right hand, he used the other to nudge her legs apart ever so slightly and caress the silky inner side of her thighs as he parted his lips to gently nibble at her centre, causing a shiver through her body.

At that point she began to moan and whimper, softly at first, but more desperately as he continued his ministrations boldly, at last convinced that she had been sincere in her invitation. He let his fingers slide through her moist folds, finding their way to the hotness his arousal would soon claim, but for now he was satisfied taking pleasure in the sounds emanating from her, proud and happy of the response he had been able to stir in this woman who had been so badly mistreated.

With a final deep kiss, he rose from his knees and climbed into the creaking bed again. He parted her legs yet some more and rested on his elbows looking at the face of this beautiful woman beneath him. She took a steady grip of his hair as he lowered his body to let his eager member find its way and was just going to push into her as he felt her whole body go rigid and she screamed.

Her voice was a high-pitched shriek cutting through the night as she screamed like a wild animal, deadly wounded by a clumsy hunter's untrue arrows. Loud, heartbreakingly mad she screamed and it frightened him and made him feel more helpless than he had for many years. He didn't have time to react as the door burst open and another woman rushed in, only dressed in a nightgown but holding out a candle in front of her as if it was a dangerous weapon.

"You monster!" she yelled, swinging the candle towards him like a futile defence against the minions of the Dark One. "Get out of here!" she continued "Now, you pointy-eared beast! With all your elated manners you have finally proved that all males are equals; inconsiderate animals all of you!"

A quick glance at the two hysterical women, one sobbing in the bed and the other threatening to set fire to his hair, told him that this was not a situation he could challenge in his present state. He quickly gathered up his leggings to cover his waning erection and slid out through the door, not understanding what he had done wrong.

Eadhild was terrified. In her agitated state, her mind had played a cruel trick on her. The silky Elven hair she was clutching had suddenly seemed coarse and dirty and the face hovering over hers had born a cold grin and there had been black eyes staring, threatening, eating her and hands with claws and pressure on her body and she couldn't get away and something hard that would penetrate her and would tear her apart was pushing into her and she couldn't get free and she was trapped and she couldn't move and she had panicked and screamed.

And then had come the angel in white, her bright flame and cleansing fury driving the darkness away and Eadhild had seen through a curtain of tears the dim form of an awestruck Elf who quickly took his clothes and left the room after casting an insecure glance in her direction. The madness left her and she wept louder, now realizing what she had done to Rúmil, her trusted friend whom she had convinced to help her through this. And now it was all ruined.

"Thilia, what have I done?" she sobbed into the nightgown of the rather plump angel, who had sat down onto the bed and put the candle on the small table across the room. "You, my dear, have done nothing wrong", came the answer, "but that...that... fiend will be banned from here if I have any say about it! How could he take advantage of your situation! Oh, our "precious" Elves have revealed themselves finally... shown their true devious nature! What a fool I have been!"

"No, please Thilia, listen to me," Eadhild said between her sobs. "It wasn't like that at all. I invited him; I wanted him to touch me, to help me overcome my fears. And now I've ruined it all and scared him off and he will never look at me again." Her shoulders shook with the ripples of desperation running through her body and Thilia just held her, continuing to stroke her friend's tangled hair, soothingly, like a mother would calm an upset child.

Gradually, Eadhild calmed down and thoughts rushed through her head. The shadows fled and her previous resoluteness returned. "I want him to come back," she said with a determination that made Thilia hold back the reply ready to roll off her tongue. "I need him," she continued and the older woman sighed and spoke. "Eadhild, you are hardly in a fitting state to meet a lover. But if you are indeed determined to go through with this, I will help you. Wash your face while I fetch him, or the bare looks of you will send any male on his way from here. I don't like this at all, but I will do what you ask. Just don't scare me like that again, please."

Eadhild just smiled meekly and stood to splash some cold water in her face. She would not behave like a terrified child again. If Rúmil would allow her a second chance, she would take it.

A soft knock at the door announced his entrance and Rúmil entered the room with a puzzled look on his face. "Eadhild," he said quietly. "I am not sure that I dare touch you after this. Your screams were ripping bloody pieces from my heart and I don't want to experience that again. And above all, I do not want to hurt you."

She just smiled and walked up to him, still naked, but now seemingly unconscious of this fact as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily on the mouth. His hands roamed her backside as the passion of her kiss reassured him of her intentions and soon they cupped her round bottom.

He smiled when she didn't flinch at the twitching member that was waking again and he pressed her harder against his desire. She moaned and pushed against him as if trying to come right through him and he swept her into his arms and carried her out of the stuffy room, quickly striding through the deserted hall and up the creaking staircase to the richer quarters on the second floor to where he had retired earlier to ponder his misfortune.

He put her down on the bed and undressed for the second time this night. Ithil was spreading his mild light on the body lying there and Rúmil couldn't help pausing just to admire the woman, to let his eyes caress her and show her the appreciation in his glance as she looked up into his eyes.

"Rúmil, please allow me to touch you," she said when he lay down beside her. "Please be passive for me and let me explore your body." He smiled at her again and shifted to lie on his back in the more generous bed of this chamber, mentally bracing himself and fighting back the urge to claim her or at least touch this alluring creature who sat beside him and let her hands run over his smooth body.

She bent down to kiss him and caught a tiny nipple between her fingers. Teasing it gently with her hand, she moved to suck the other one into her mouth, still fascinated by the mystery of the presence of this adornment in males. She let her long hair drag across his face, his chest, his groin and smiled at the load moan that escaped his mouth as he felt it tickle his need.

Bending further to lap at his stomach she continued to neglect his firm pillar, concentrating instead on pleasuring every inch of skin around it until he was shaking with effort still not to touch her. Merciful at last, and grateful for his understanding, she took the tip of his arousal into her mouth ever so fleetingly and then straddled him quickly, running a hand up and down the erect member before she finally sank down upon him, slowly, slowly, but inevitably.

She moaned at the sensation of him inside her, and leaned forward to claim his mouth a last time before she whispered in his ear "Now, Rúmil. Touch me." And he did. Moaning with pent-up need he let his hands roam eagerly over her body but eventually settle firmly on her hips to allow him to thrust into her more forcefully while still leaving her somewhat in control. Her peak was sudden and before he reached his, she slid off of him and motioned for him to embrace her again.

He settled between her widely spread thighs and entered her swiftly, causing her to whimper, echoing his loud moans as he allowed himself the sweet torture of slowing the pace, taking her slowly, looking into her eyes that were shining with passion, all fear gone. As she came again, she brought him with her and together they sank down into the softness of the clean sheets. He quickly drifted into sleep, exhausted from the emotional ordeals of this night.

"Thank you, Rúmil, for making me a woman once more," she whispered to the slumbering Elf beside her. "Thank you for teaching me to live again."

***

He had taken her again in the morning, this time without the hesitance of the previous night, and her heated response had convinced him that it had been the right course of action. She was ready to live a full life again and he could only hope that it was true that time was quick to blur unpleasant memories in humans, another gift of Ilúvatar that was theirs alone.

It was going to be a fine day and Rúmil hummed as he took his horse out of the stable, unaware that this was the place where the path of his eldest brother had crossed the one of the woman he had just left to her mundane duties.

He had spent far too much time in this village of the Aftercomers and the matter of hand had been one of the most difficult he had had to cope with, one where his Galadhrim training had not been more useful than a talan to a Dwarf. He looked forward to returning to his usual role of irresponsible younger brother in the Golden Realm, where life was less complicated, where the dangers were tangible and enemies could be dealt with swiftly and without second thoughts. Where bow and arrows were the only weapons required and the voice of his Lord and Lady all law necessary.