Legolas Finds Love. And Loses a Mitten.
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
2,982
Reviews:
23
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
2,982
Reviews:
23
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Six
Aragorn: You're a bastard, you know that?
Legolas: Hmph.
Aragorn: [rolls eyes] Fine.
//
"Before the battle" 6
//
Aragorn: Wasn't there a battle a couple chapters ago?
Legolas: Yeah, but this bint, she isn't too bright.
//
Legolas helped Layoin up and gave her back the rose he took from her earlier.
//
Legolas: Why?
Aragorn: [kissing Legolas' neck to try to get him back in the mood] I dunno.
Legolas: Stoppit.
//
"Lord Elrond is getting the elves ready and he sent out scouts into the the woods to see what's going on"
"Then what are we to do"
"Do you have a sword or other weapon, since your arrows are broken and your bow has no string"
"Yes I have a sword packed away"
//
Legolas: Does she have an unnatural fear of punctuation?
Aragorn: I'm beginning to think so. Maybe she's allergic.
Legolas: And isn't it funny how Layoin just so happens to have brought a sword?
Aragorn: Don't you know, Leggykins, the Mary Sue Pledge? "Bee Prepaired."
Legolas: Leggykins? How come you're a right cunt to me unless you want to fuck? Then you're sweet as sugar.
Aragorn: [grumbles]
//
"Well make sure you can get to it and stay in your room. I shall come back to you later" And with that Legolas left Layoin in search of Aragorn and Lord Elrond. Legolas ran down the halls of Rivendell and finally found Aragorn cleaning his sword. Legolas walked into the room and came to his side, Aragorn stopped what he was doing and looked up at the elf.
//
Legolas: Cleaning your sword, eh old man?
Aragorn: Sod off. Maybe if you'd let me have some of that . . . sweet . . . Elven . . . [gulps] Fuck, Legolas. I'm so hot for you right now. . .
Legolas: Ohh. . .
Aragorn: Yeah, you know you want it. By the end of this chapter, I'll have you *begging* for my cock. . .
Legolas: Muuuh.
//
"Ai you are back though you are not going to be running out on me again are you.
"No and please forgive me for that. I have been busy and my mind has been wondering"
"I see, well it is ok but Lord Elrond said for all who can fight to get ready, for there are Orc's approaching Rivendell"
"Then it's as I feared"
"Yes and maybe worse" Aragorn then got up and put his sword at his side.
//
Aragorn: You know where I'd like to put my sword, Legolas?
Legolas: [trying desperately not to take a flying leap into Aragorn's lap] Nnno. . .
Aragorn: Oh, I think you do. And I think you'd enjoy it. You *always* do.
Legolas: [incoherent babbling as Aragorn wraps his hand around his Elvish Fun Partsâ„¢]
Aragorn: Mm hmm. That's a boy. Come for me. . .
Layoin: Hay ewe kweers what abowt my storey and Leolgas is in love with me knot. You so go away?
SugaryLime: [sends Layoin back to Mary Sue Land] Carry on, boys. Please. And don't mind the webcam. . .
//
"Come Legolas they need us out side"
//
Legolas: Fuuuh. Meeeeh. Haaaahhhrd.
Aragorn: Yes. [proceeds to give Legolas a sound seeing-to, much to the chagrin of Layoin and the delight of SugaryLime, who by now has melted into a puddle]
Audience Member: Hey! If SugaryLime's in a puddle, who's writing this?
Powers that Be: [strike audience member down] Carry on.
//
The two of them walked out side and found some elves spread out around Rivendell. Lord Elrond had his sword drown and so did Marhash, Aragorn and Legolas cam running to them.
//
Aragorn: [looks at his own spread-out-Elf and drools]
//
"What is happing milord" Legolas asked looking around.
"Orc's are approaching Rivendell at great speed but for what reason I do not know"
"At least not at this time" said Marhash
Legolas looked at him then back to Lord Elrond.
//
Legolas: Um. . .orcs. . .Rivendell. . .
Aragorn: Who. . .cares. . .?
*~*~* BREIF INTERMISSION *~*~*
Legolas: Okay. I think I can do this now.
//
"Aragorn please come with me," Lord Elrond said putting his hand on Aragorn's shoulder and leading him away. Legolas and Marhash were left there by them selves. Legolas looked him over for a moment. He was warring long slender pence and his shirt was silver. He war the Lorien brooch, which held his bluish cloak on. Then Legolas noticed something on the cloak. It was the mark of reality. Marhash must have been related to either the king or queen of Lorien, which made Layoin royal. But she must not have known that.
//
Legolas: More warring pence. I can't take this.
Aragorn: The Mark of Reality. Yesh. Because this all really happened. Or happed.
Legolas: When did Lorien get a monarchy?
Aragorn: It's just ceremonial.
Legolas: [confused] Oh. Okay then. So, Galadriel's like the Prime Minister? Ministress? Minestrone?
Aragorn: Sure. I'm starving.
Legolas: And now Layoin's royalty?
Aragorn: Yeah. It's the second paragraph of the Mary Sue Magna Charta: "And no Mary Sue shall know that she is royalty until the end of the story when it is either a.) required of her to be as such in order to marry a prince or b.) it will make her better than or equal to all existing characters."
Legolas: Riiight.
//
"Legolas" Marhash finally said
"Yes" Legolas said looking up at him.
"How is the Lady Layoin"?
"She shall be fine"
Marhash looked down.
"I did not mean to make her cry, it is only." Marhash started to say but trailed off.
"It is only what?"
"She reminds me so much of her mother. You see she even resembles her, and a long time ago when Layoin was young I lost her mother.
//
Legolas: [as Marhash]: I set her down on the coffee table next to my keys, but when I went back, she wasn't there.
Aragorn: [giggles]
//
She was killed by many Orc arrows, see she two loved to battle and around that time all could fight but after losing her I swear that I would not let Layoin follow her path." Marhash ended and looked back up at Legolas.
//
Aragorn: Of course.
Legolas: Marhash ended? Just like that? No warning or anything. . .
//
"I under stand, but you need to under stand that this is what she wants to do, now if you will please excuse me for a battle is about to begin" Legolas then took his poison and took out his bow. He could hear the Orc cries. Then he saw them. There were many running towards them, and for what purpose they would never know.
//
Legolas: Yes, please excuse me while I take my poison and go to battle. I'm a gentleman, you know. And I want to commit suicide on the battlefield. I'll kill myself so the orcs can't kill me. I'll show them!
Aragorn: Heh. You're so clever.
Legolas: Hmph.
Aragorn: [rolls eyes] Fine.
//
"Before the battle" 6
//
Aragorn: Wasn't there a battle a couple chapters ago?
Legolas: Yeah, but this bint, she isn't too bright.
//
Legolas helped Layoin up and gave her back the rose he took from her earlier.
//
Legolas: Why?
Aragorn: [kissing Legolas' neck to try to get him back in the mood] I dunno.
Legolas: Stoppit.
//
"Lord Elrond is getting the elves ready and he sent out scouts into the the woods to see what's going on"
"Then what are we to do"
"Do you have a sword or other weapon, since your arrows are broken and your bow has no string"
"Yes I have a sword packed away"
//
Legolas: Does she have an unnatural fear of punctuation?
Aragorn: I'm beginning to think so. Maybe she's allergic.
Legolas: And isn't it funny how Layoin just so happens to have brought a sword?
Aragorn: Don't you know, Leggykins, the Mary Sue Pledge? "Bee Prepaired."
Legolas: Leggykins? How come you're a right cunt to me unless you want to fuck? Then you're sweet as sugar.
Aragorn: [grumbles]
//
"Well make sure you can get to it and stay in your room. I shall come back to you later" And with that Legolas left Layoin in search of Aragorn and Lord Elrond. Legolas ran down the halls of Rivendell and finally found Aragorn cleaning his sword. Legolas walked into the room and came to his side, Aragorn stopped what he was doing and looked up at the elf.
//
Legolas: Cleaning your sword, eh old man?
Aragorn: Sod off. Maybe if you'd let me have some of that . . . sweet . . . Elven . . . [gulps] Fuck, Legolas. I'm so hot for you right now. . .
Legolas: Ohh. . .
Aragorn: Yeah, you know you want it. By the end of this chapter, I'll have you *begging* for my cock. . .
Legolas: Muuuh.
//
"Ai you are back though you are not going to be running out on me again are you.
"No and please forgive me for that. I have been busy and my mind has been wondering"
"I see, well it is ok but Lord Elrond said for all who can fight to get ready, for there are Orc's approaching Rivendell"
"Then it's as I feared"
"Yes and maybe worse" Aragorn then got up and put his sword at his side.
//
Aragorn: You know where I'd like to put my sword, Legolas?
Legolas: [trying desperately not to take a flying leap into Aragorn's lap] Nnno. . .
Aragorn: Oh, I think you do. And I think you'd enjoy it. You *always* do.
Legolas: [incoherent babbling as Aragorn wraps his hand around his Elvish Fun Partsâ„¢]
Aragorn: Mm hmm. That's a boy. Come for me. . .
Layoin: Hay ewe kweers what abowt my storey and Leolgas is in love with me knot. You so go away?
SugaryLime: [sends Layoin back to Mary Sue Land] Carry on, boys. Please. And don't mind the webcam. . .
//
"Come Legolas they need us out side"
//
Legolas: Fuuuh. Meeeeh. Haaaahhhrd.
Aragorn: Yes. [proceeds to give Legolas a sound seeing-to, much to the chagrin of Layoin and the delight of SugaryLime, who by now has melted into a puddle]
Audience Member: Hey! If SugaryLime's in a puddle, who's writing this?
Powers that Be: [strike audience member down] Carry on.
//
The two of them walked out side and found some elves spread out around Rivendell. Lord Elrond had his sword drown and so did Marhash, Aragorn and Legolas cam running to them.
//
Aragorn: [looks at his own spread-out-Elf and drools]
//
"What is happing milord" Legolas asked looking around.
"Orc's are approaching Rivendell at great speed but for what reason I do not know"
"At least not at this time" said Marhash
Legolas looked at him then back to Lord Elrond.
//
Legolas: Um. . .orcs. . .Rivendell. . .
Aragorn: Who. . .cares. . .?
*~*~* BREIF INTERMISSION *~*~*
Legolas: Okay. I think I can do this now.
//
"Aragorn please come with me," Lord Elrond said putting his hand on Aragorn's shoulder and leading him away. Legolas and Marhash were left there by them selves. Legolas looked him over for a moment. He was warring long slender pence and his shirt was silver. He war the Lorien brooch, which held his bluish cloak on. Then Legolas noticed something on the cloak. It was the mark of reality. Marhash must have been related to either the king or queen of Lorien, which made Layoin royal. But she must not have known that.
//
Legolas: More warring pence. I can't take this.
Aragorn: The Mark of Reality. Yesh. Because this all really happened. Or happed.
Legolas: When did Lorien get a monarchy?
Aragorn: It's just ceremonial.
Legolas: [confused] Oh. Okay then. So, Galadriel's like the Prime Minister? Ministress? Minestrone?
Aragorn: Sure. I'm starving.
Legolas: And now Layoin's royalty?
Aragorn: Yeah. It's the second paragraph of the Mary Sue Magna Charta: "And no Mary Sue shall know that she is royalty until the end of the story when it is either a.) required of her to be as such in order to marry a prince or b.) it will make her better than or equal to all existing characters."
Legolas: Riiight.
//
"Legolas" Marhash finally said
"Yes" Legolas said looking up at him.
"How is the Lady Layoin"?
"She shall be fine"
Marhash looked down.
"I did not mean to make her cry, it is only." Marhash started to say but trailed off.
"It is only what?"
"She reminds me so much of her mother. You see she even resembles her, and a long time ago when Layoin was young I lost her mother.
//
Legolas: [as Marhash]: I set her down on the coffee table next to my keys, but when I went back, she wasn't there.
Aragorn: [giggles]
//
She was killed by many Orc arrows, see she two loved to battle and around that time all could fight but after losing her I swear that I would not let Layoin follow her path." Marhash ended and looked back up at Legolas.
//
Aragorn: Of course.
Legolas: Marhash ended? Just like that? No warning or anything. . .
//
"I under stand, but you need to under stand that this is what she wants to do, now if you will please excuse me for a battle is about to begin" Legolas then took his poison and took out his bow. He could hear the Orc cries. Then he saw them. There were many running towards them, and for what purpose they would never know.
//
Legolas: Yes, please excuse me while I take my poison and go to battle. I'm a gentleman, you know. And I want to commit suicide on the battlefield. I'll kill myself so the orcs can't kill me. I'll show them!
Aragorn: Heh. You're so clever.