The Grooming of Aragorn
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
17
Views:
2,791
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
17
Views:
2,791
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Shudder...it's Arwen
***Ok people, I've been working hard lately...this chapter is better than the last..but I'm sorry to say, it's just a building block to the climax..well read on to see what happens***
Legolas stood nervously in front of Arwen's door, with his hand ready to knock on the door. What was he going to say? All Aragorn had told him, was to slap her upside the head, for that time she'd cheated on Aragorn. Which wasn't such a bad thing to do, reflected Legolas, remembering all the horrible unfair things that he had endured, because of Arwen. He knocked on the door quickly, before he could change his mind.
"How many times do I have to tell you pathetic pieces of shit that call yourselves elves, that I *abhor* people knocking on my door." Arwen's voice floated out from beneath the door. Legolas tightened his jaw and opened the door.
"Oh it's you." Legolas looked up to see Arwen smirking at him.
"Yes well, I have to talk to you." Legolas said, determined not to beat the hell out of this...this...thing.
"Did you make an appointment?"
"What?"
"Did you make an a-p-o-u-y-t-m-e-b-n-t?"
"That's not how you spell appointment."
"Oh so now you're all Mr. Smart Prince? Just tell me what you have to say, and stop wasting my time. I have a wedding to prepare for."
"You know Aragorn hasn't asked Elrond for your hand in marriage yet." Legolas said, hiding a smile.
"Yes but he will-" Suddenly Arwen froze and looked at Legolas, her face contorted in fury, (the way it is most of the time) "What do you know?" then before Legolas had a chance to speak, "Whose the whore that Aragorn is leaving me for? I'll kill her, I'll mutilate her...Oh god..it isn't that little bum is it? What's his name? Frumpy?"
"Frodo, and no, it isn't him."
"So he *is* going to leave me?" Arwen thought about this for a moment, and when she looked up her face was sickly sweet. "Tell me *dear* cousin...who is it?" she purred.
Legolas turned away revolted by the sight of Arwen trying to be nice.
"Well, I was going to warn you, but know that you've figured it out....well all I can say is that ever since Aragorn has been bathing, and wearing clean clothes. Well acting normal anyway...well he's been quite the charmer. The ladies have been just eating him up." Which was, thought Legolas, partly true, Aragorn had been looking better.a LOT better. Certainly appetizing.
"You mean to tell me that Aragorn took a bath?"
"Yep, he even dyed his hair. Blonde."
"Blonde? This is horrible, how can I lose him now that he's finally become clean?"
"Well you don't have to lose him, he's still going to ask for your hand in marriage. You'll just have to compete with a LOT of other women."
"WHAT?!"
"Well when Aragorn has SO many women after him.well even though I er....love you as a cousin..you're chances are slim. He'll be having affairs in front of your very nose. But."
"But what?" asked Arwen eagerly clawing at Legolas' tunic.
"But get the hell off of me!" yelled Legolas in disgust of having to be so close to her.
"Sorry, so tell me."
"But if you could make yourself more..gulp..desirable..somehow."
"Well, that's stupid, I'm already desirable." Here Legolas doubled over in laughter, and was promptly dragged out by an angry Arwen who slammed the door in his face. Legolas got up and brushed the dust off his tunic. This was going to be fun.
***WHO WANTS TO SEE ARWEN DESIRABLE??!!! Not me that's for sure, well my muses are getting frustrated so I'll probably have the next chapter up quickly...*glares at muses* Aragorn has a bunion, Legolas' hair won't shine enough, and Arwen wants Spring Water not TAP WATER! Well... write more later dearies, and don't forget to review..I'm fuelled on reviews.cackle cackle..***
Legolas stood nervously in front of Arwen's door, with his hand ready to knock on the door. What was he going to say? All Aragorn had told him, was to slap her upside the head, for that time she'd cheated on Aragorn. Which wasn't such a bad thing to do, reflected Legolas, remembering all the horrible unfair things that he had endured, because of Arwen. He knocked on the door quickly, before he could change his mind.
"How many times do I have to tell you pathetic pieces of shit that call yourselves elves, that I *abhor* people knocking on my door." Arwen's voice floated out from beneath the door. Legolas tightened his jaw and opened the door.
"Oh it's you." Legolas looked up to see Arwen smirking at him.
"Yes well, I have to talk to you." Legolas said, determined not to beat the hell out of this...this...thing.
"Did you make an appointment?"
"What?"
"Did you make an a-p-o-u-y-t-m-e-b-n-t?"
"That's not how you spell appointment."
"Oh so now you're all Mr. Smart Prince? Just tell me what you have to say, and stop wasting my time. I have a wedding to prepare for."
"You know Aragorn hasn't asked Elrond for your hand in marriage yet." Legolas said, hiding a smile.
"Yes but he will-" Suddenly Arwen froze and looked at Legolas, her face contorted in fury, (the way it is most of the time) "What do you know?" then before Legolas had a chance to speak, "Whose the whore that Aragorn is leaving me for? I'll kill her, I'll mutilate her...Oh god..it isn't that little bum is it? What's his name? Frumpy?"
"Frodo, and no, it isn't him."
"So he *is* going to leave me?" Arwen thought about this for a moment, and when she looked up her face was sickly sweet. "Tell me *dear* cousin...who is it?" she purred.
Legolas turned away revolted by the sight of Arwen trying to be nice.
"Well, I was going to warn you, but know that you've figured it out....well all I can say is that ever since Aragorn has been bathing, and wearing clean clothes. Well acting normal anyway...well he's been quite the charmer. The ladies have been just eating him up." Which was, thought Legolas, partly true, Aragorn had been looking better.a LOT better. Certainly appetizing.
"You mean to tell me that Aragorn took a bath?"
"Yep, he even dyed his hair. Blonde."
"Blonde? This is horrible, how can I lose him now that he's finally become clean?"
"Well you don't have to lose him, he's still going to ask for your hand in marriage. You'll just have to compete with a LOT of other women."
"WHAT?!"
"Well when Aragorn has SO many women after him.well even though I er....love you as a cousin..you're chances are slim. He'll be having affairs in front of your very nose. But."
"But what?" asked Arwen eagerly clawing at Legolas' tunic.
"But get the hell off of me!" yelled Legolas in disgust of having to be so close to her.
"Sorry, so tell me."
"But if you could make yourself more..gulp..desirable..somehow."
"Well, that's stupid, I'm already desirable." Here Legolas doubled over in laughter, and was promptly dragged out by an angry Arwen who slammed the door in his face. Legolas got up and brushed the dust off his tunic. This was going to be fun.
***WHO WANTS TO SEE ARWEN DESIRABLE??!!! Not me that's for sure, well my muses are getting frustrated so I'll probably have the next chapter up quickly...*glares at muses* Aragorn has a bunion, Legolas' hair won't shine enough, and Arwen wants Spring Water not TAP WATER! Well... write more later dearies, and don't forget to review..I'm fuelled on reviews.cackle cackle..***