The Probability Factor

Chapter Four-Explanations R Us

After our quickie dinner, I sat down with Haldur on the couch. I had pulled out one of the books I kept on hand for my nephews and nieces when they came over. Dr.Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham” was in order, considering the situation, and I opened the book, prepared to read to Haldur and teach him my language.

“I am Sam,” I began. I pointed to the character on the back of the animal, “Sam I am. See? This guy is named Sam.”

Haldur looked at the page, “Sam?”

“Yes,” pointing to the character, “He is Sam. See the letters? This is an ‘S’, and that’s an ‘A’, and there’s an ‘M’. You are Haldur, I am Susan, and he is Sam.” I explained.

“Sam,” Haldur pointed to the character.

“Yes!” I nodded, “And you are Haldur, and I am Susan.”

Haldur nodded and pointed back to the book.

“That Sam-I-am! That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am! See he’s quite grumpy,” I pointed to the Whovish character, “His face is angry.” I frowned, “Angry. See?”

Haldur put his face into a grimace, “Angry?”

“Yeah, but with more grrrr,” I explained, growling for effect.

“Grrrr,” Haldur copied my sound, “Angry.”

“Yes!” I clapped my hands in pleasure, “That’s it! Angry!”

Haldur laughed as understanding dawned over his face, “Angry! Grrrr!”

The rest of the evening was spent reading the book, and describing the emotions portrayed. Haldur was an adept student. By the end of the evening, just before I stopped everything to get ready for the next working day, Haldur had grasped the basic emotional range, and I had begun to work on subjective personal pronouns. Haldur had the ‘he’s, she’s, you and I,’ down. He was still getting the hang of the ‘they and them’ concepts. I was pleased and gave him a congratulatory hug. He was startled by the contact, but as he had seen me touch and hug Alistair, I think he understood it.

I never did get to the laundry, but then there was always tomorrow.

The next morning, I awoke to Haldur watching me while I was asleep again. That wigged me out, but until I got through the language barrier, I had no way of discerning his true motives or goals. Haldur wasn’t wearing his t-shirt, and his sweats were loose around his hips. Temptation made a cursory appearance and I forced it out with thoughts of the licentious Greg. That’s worth a cold shower any day. I got up and locked Haldur out of the bathroom as I had my shower and got ready for the day. When I came out of the bathroom, with wet hair and my terrycloth robe wrapped tightly around my body, Haldur stopped me.

Touching my wet hair, he said, “Susan?”

“My wet hair?” I touched my hair, “Wet. See? Wet hair.” I touched Haldur’s hair, “Dry. Dry hair. You have dry hair.”

Haldur touched my hair, “Wet. I wet.” Then he touched himself.

The familiar bell rang, “You want to get wet? I mean you want a shower?” I pointed to the shower I had just gotten out of. “Shower?”

He nodded vigorously, “I wet.”

I walked him into the bathroom, taking him to the bathtub shower. Turning on the water, I adjusted it until it was warm. “This is soap. See?” I lathered a drop between my fingers and rinsed them off, “This is shampoo. Use this on your hair,” I touched the bottle to his hair, and then grabbed the conditioner; “This is the next step. Conditioner.” I began to walk out of the bathroom, before I stopped, remembering the shower curtain, “Close this when you step under the water.” I slid the curtain closed, and then left an opening for him to step through. I grabbed a towel off the rack and put it on the toilet seat, “Dry yourself with the towel. Then put it on the hook.” I demonstrated what I meant and put the towel back on the seat. I turned and walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I went into my bedroom and got dressed hurriedly, in case Haldur was a quick showerer. I had run out of pants, and wasn’t allowed to wear shorts to work, so I donned the only skirt I owned. It was denim Tommy Hilfiger, with a front zip and a front slit. Utterly frustrating to sit down in, as the damned thing would hitch up enormously when I sat down, but it was the only clean thing left in my closet. I pulled on a light Tommy sweater in a deep blue, and adjusted my waistband, trying to make sure my zipper would stay put. I slid into a pair of Easy Spirit loafers and walked out of my bedroom to get breakfast ready and take Roxy out for her morning walk. Haldur had been waking me up so early, that I could’ve easily read the paper before I left; but was instead using the time to get to work early, get more done, and then leave early. Haldur came out of the bathroom naked, and wandered into the kitchen where I was preparing breakfast. I just about dropped the plate I was holding to put the toast on.

My eyes shot up to the ceiling and I stammered, “Hey! Clothes! Clothes would be good about now. You may be a nudist at home, but here, people have a habit of dressing when they’re in mixed company!” I knew Alistair would be kicking me about then, but I just wasn’t up to seeing a very good-looking, well-endowed, naked man first thing in the morning. Even when Greg and I lived together, he never walked around naked. It just wasn’t done.

Haldur slapped something into my hand and sat down at the dining room table. I looked down and saw a comb; then grabbing a dishcloth, I dropped it on his member so I wouldn’t be distracted. I didn’t know where Haldur came from, what their traditions were, but he apparently wanted me to comb out his wet hair. I gently began to run the comb through his long hair. Starting at the back, I worked my way forward, being careful not to tug on his hair. It was so long, I wondered if it would dry by the time I got home. As I came around the right side, I pulled up a hank of hair and noticed something that made me gasp in disbelief. Haldur had pointed ears! Not just pointy tips, like I had seen in some people, but genuine pointed ears. Kinda like Spock, only more convincing. I reached out and touched the tips, to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating, and was shocked when they felt like normal skin. I stroked the tips, running my fingers around the edges, and suddenly Haldur shuddered and grabbed my hand.

“Susan,” he warned in a bit of a breathy voice. He shook his head no, and I withdrew my hand from his clasp.

“Sorry. But you’ve got pointed ears!” I exclaimed, astounded.

“Edhel. Ellon,” he explained.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but figured it was his name for the abnormality. “All right. Edhel, ellon,” I repeated, “Whatever. Eat your breakfast,” I gestured to the toast already on the table.

Haldur picked up a slice and began to chew on it as I finished his hair. I sat down, stunned by this revelation. Mindlessly eating a piece of toast, I gulped down some juice and then got up to go.

“I’m leaving now. I’ll be back in nine hours. Maybe longer. I have to digest this, this…development. I’m just going to take Roxy out quickly, but then I’m gone,” I grabbed Roxy’s leash, and she jumped up from her spot by Haldur’s feet and ran over to me.

Ten minutes later, I was dropping Roxy back inside my place. I turned on the TV for Haldur, and turned it to CNN. Looking over at Haldur, who was still naked and sitting at my table, I groaned inwardly; and grabbed my stuff, rushing out the door. I used the time walking to work to sort out what I had seen that morning. Those ears really confounded me, and I became more determined to teach Haldur English, so I could at least get some semblance of a story.

When I got to work, Meg cornered me, wanting to know why I hadn’t shown up for the send-off after work for Cliff, who was retiring. I had completely forgotten about that. I was originally going to drop by, have an iced tea and then go home for dinner, but with my new houseguest, I had dropped everything to get home. I apologized to Meg for missing the shindig, and said I had a houseguest who had just arrived from out of town, that I had to see to. Meg was all persnickety, saying my guest surely had heard of hotels, and I owed my co-workers respect by showing up when they left. I figured Meg had another fight with her boyfriend, as she wasn’t usually this nitpicky. I let her rant about the decimation of civilised manners, and booted up my computer. Meg, finally running out steam, left to go back to her desk, leaving me in blessed peace. It was short lived.

The rest of my day was spent putting out minor fires regarding the decision-making process of residential school claims. I was either talking to angry natives, or calming stressed out adjudicators. By quitting time, I had a bit of a migraine starting in my right frontal lobe. I took my Relpax and put on my hat and sunglasses to deal with the bright sunshine on the way home.

As I staggered out into the afternoon glare, I grimaced as pain surged through my head and into my right eye. I walked slowly home, trying to keep my head from exploding with any sudden movement. As I approached Denman, I felt an arm grab me and spin me around. I moaned with the new surge of pain.

“Oooh, sorry baby. You have another headache?” Alistair searched my face with concern in his eyes.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, “Take it slow okay. I need to get home and lie down.”

“Do you want me to take Roxy out? I can do that and pick you up something for dinner. I don’t suppose your houseguest could negotiate the supermarket, hmmm?” he mused, “I mean, having no language skills.”

“He does speak a language Alistair. It’s just not English,” I said softly, trying not to hurt my head any worse.

“Right. How’s the English lessons coming?” he patted my back gently.

“Fine. Can we just get home please,” my eyes watered involuntarily.

Alistair looked worried as he guided me across Denman and down to my building. He got my keys out of my bag and got us up into my place. When he opened my apartment door, Haldur was waiting, with a very pleased look on his face.

“Susan! Hello!” he proudly pronounced.

I grimaced a smile, “Good for you Haldur. Hello to you too.” My head took a moment to throb, and I groaned.

Alistair took charge of the situation. “Susan, go lie down and get some rest. Do you want me to bring you some water?” I groaned in the affirmative. “All right. Then I’ll take Roxy out. Haldur, you stay here. Susan is sick,” he held his head and grimaced, “Sick. Okay?”

Haldur looked concerned as I made my way back to my bedroom to lie down. I closed the curtains and took off my shoes, stretching out on my bed. Haldur sat down beside me and began to stroke my head, with a concerned look on his face. Alistair came in and put the glass of water on my bedside table, smiling at me, as he dug around in the drawer for my eye mask. Without a word, he handed it to me and left the room. I put it on and lay back against the pillow and let myself drift into a hazy rest; while Haldur continued to rub my head, murmuring something in his native tongue.

I fell deeper into sleep and had this dream where Haldur spoke perfect English. He told me he was an elf and that he had come from a place called Arda. He said he was in the middle of a battle when he was sucked away to my world, and he wasn’t sure why. He told me he was sure he knew me, that first day we met, so that is why he went with me when I asked him to. Haldur was sure that I knew him too, but he had no idea why. I told him it could be a case of déjà vu. I had to explain that to him, and he nodded in understanding. He said while he wasn’t sure what was going on, he knew he had to stay with me in order to get home. I was apparently the key to him seeing his home again. I asked him how he knew such perfect English in my dream, when in real life he could only speak a few words. Words I had taught him. He explained we were in the dream-state, and that was why we could communicate. He was speaking Sindarin, but I heard English, and vice versa. I asked him why he insisted on showing his body when we were alone. He laughed, explaining that the body is not something they hide where he’s from. He said it was not taboo to see a member of the opposite sex nude. The nude form was beautiful and should be celebrated. I agreed, but then explained the societal norms here and why, unless you were intimate with someone, you didn’t go around naked. I asked about his ears, as they had me a bit flummoxed. He told me they were a part of his race, the race of elves. He said elves co-existed with the race of men, among other races. I was getting quite tired, so asked if I could rest some more, as my head still ached. He said he would assist with my healing and spoke some words I didn’t understand. I fell into a dreamless sleep after that.