Chain Lightning

Chapter four

Phoenix Resurgamus

The Indians tell us that the Phoenix can rise
From the smoldering ashes that once were my eyes,
And watch beautiful colours from black and from grey
Be formed into wings and take me away,
Where evil is darkness and goodness is light,
And love is the lightning that cuts through the night,
And strikes only once in a dark place in time,
And forms a gold stairway that all of us climb.

It's like chain lightning, this love that I feel.
Who knows where it strikes or when it will hit,
How long it will last, or when it will quit.

Chapter four


Phoenix Resurgamis






When Sean scratched the surface of Billy with that first kiss he tasted single malt on top, but underneath that was the taste of Billy, and tasting Billy was like wine and honey, burning Sean’s mouth with sweetness. Billy’s mouth with its Most Kissable Upper Lip was so new and fresh and yes, like wine and honey and Billy was a damned good kisser, even drunk. Billy was a damned good kisser and his small tongue, though just a little shy, frolicked in Sean’s mouth like an otter, swimming and diving and dipping and swirling, small and playful and curious.

Billy’s hands curled into the thick muscles on Sean’s shoulders then crept up like quiet little squirrels and curled up all cozy and warm in Sean’s hair. Lying on Sean’s sofa with Billy was a tight fit, it was a very tight fit and Sean could feel Billy’s small and perfect little body pressed against him. Billy was warm, Billy was more than warm, Billy was absolutely hotting up, and Sean wondered how Billy could ever think he wasn’t or hot or pretty or sexy.

Sean wanted to put both arms around Billy but the sofa was just too tight a fit. Sean broke the kiss and sat up. He said not one word, but grabbed Billy’s small, clever hand and pulled him into a sitting position. Sean sat beside Billy and then pulled Billy bodily onto his lap and Billy did it again, gave the softest little hobbity squeak and Sean thought again about how Billy was damnably adorable. Then Sean noticed that Billy had pulled something out of his back pocket. It was one of Viggo’s photos of Sean. Sean took the photo and looked at it more closely. It was a picture of Sean in his favorite robe, Sean smiling broadly, sitting in a folding chair with a cup of tea.

“I love that photo.” Billy said, taking it back. “Viggo gave it to me about three weeks ago. I’ve been carrying it ever since.” Billy sat in Sean’s lap quietly, all curled up all cozy and warm like a little squirrel. He leaned into Sean and nestled his head on Sean’s shoulder and sighed. Sean turned his head and captured Billy’s mouth once more and Billy sighed again and Sean drank his sigh. Billy was good to drink, and Sean was so thirsty that he drank deeply and long. Billy’s small hand lit on Sean’s face as they kissed, and Billy’s clever fingers tickled in Sean’s Boromir beard. “My God,” Billy said, “You’re so… so… so gorgeous.” And then it was Billy who kissed Sean with his hand still clutching the photo. Billy kissed Sean and my God but Billy tasted so sweet beneath the single malt flavor, Billy was honey and wine and Sean drank him down in one single gulp.

Sean broke the kiss and put his arms around Billy and held him close as Billy once more nestled his head on Sean’s shoulder. Sean kissed Billy’s forehead, just between the brows. Then he rose, lifting Billy in his arms and carried him to Sean’s bed. Sean put Billy down on the bed, then stooped at the bedside and took off Billy’s shoes and socks and fuck if the little shit didn’t have feet that were small and nimble-looking and damnably adorable just like the rest of Billy. Sean took the photo of himself and put it on the bedside table. Then Sean sat on the side of the bed and pulled off his own shoes and socks, then climbed onto the bed on all fours.

Sean climbed onto the bed on all fours and he looked just like a hungry lion to Billy. Sean lay next to Billy and pulled him close and then he was kissing Billy again and my God but Sean could kiss, kiss like Billy had only imagined being kissed. Then Sean pulled away, pulled away and undid his trousers, slipping them off. Then he undid Billy’s jeans.

Sean undid Billy’s jeans and slid them slowly down in a most inefficient manner that involved dragging his fingers down Billy’s arse. As Sean’s fingers dragged across Billy’s arse Sean’s hand stopped, stopped for just a second, stopped and pinched Billy’s arse.

Billy squeaked, squeaked a hobbity little squeak and said “Ouch! Why is everyone pinching me on my arse all of a sudden?”

Sean laughed aloud into Billy’s mouth and Billy swallowed the laugh and the laugh bounced around and came right back through Billy’s mouth and into Sean’s.

“It’s because it’s just a perfect little bubble of an arse and we just wanted to see if we pinched it, maybe it might pop like a bubble.”

“A bubble? You think my arse is like a bubble?”

“I think it’s a perfect little bubble of an arse, yes.” And Sean had to smile because Billy blushed, blushed and laughed and oh God his nose crinkled up just like Sean knew it would and Billy was more damnably adorable than ever, and Sean kissed his crinkling little nose. Sean kissed Billy’s crinkling little nose and then he kissed Billy just below the nose.

“You’re kissing my philtrum?”

“Is that what it’s called? I always just thought it was that little trough between your top lip and your nose. It has a name?”

“Yes. Its name is Phil. Phil Philtrum. Phil, meet Sean. Sean, Phil.”

“Hullo, Phil.” said Sean, and kissed Billy’s philtrum again. It was a sweet little philtrum, like a baby’s philtrum. Most people lost the definition in their philtrum after they weren’t babies anymore, but not Billy. Billy’s philtrum was phucking phine.

Sean continued to slide Billy’s jeans down, he slid Billy’s jeans down after just one more pinch, eliciting another hobbity little squeak, followed closely by a gentle squeeze. Yes, it certainly was a perfect little bubble of an arse. Sean sat up and peeled back the coverlet and slipped beneath it, then skinned out of his shirt. Billy started to take off the too-big shirt Sean had put on him, but Sean grasped Billy’s wrists and pulled the shirt back down.

“No.” he said. “Leave it on.”

“Leave it on?” Oh, Christ, that Glaswegian accent. Could this little shit get any more sexy and not die of it?

“Leave it on. You look damnably adorable in it. Now get your arse under the covers.”

And Billy got his perfect little bubble of an arse under the covers and in one hot second he was in Sean’s arms again and Sean was kissing Billy again, kissing him all soft and sweet and then deep and deeper and so very, very long and good God but Sean could kiss.

Sean gathered Billy to his chest, gathered him to his chest and held his small but perfect little body tenderly and kissed the top of Billy’s head.

“Billy?”

“Sean?”

“Billy, I want to tell you something, Billy.”

“What, Sean?”

“I know it was months and months, Billy, but Billy, it was hard, it was tough, so tough, Billy.”

“The ‘D’ word?” Billy asked, nestling his face into Sean’s chest. God but Sean had wonderful muscle definition. Sean had the body of a god. Sean had the body of a god and Sean’s bed was Sean-god’s temple and Billy was in the temple, in the temple and Billy thought suddenly that he wanted to be sacrificed in this temple.

“Yeah. Yeah. The ‘D’ word. Divorce.” Sean said. “It was tough, Billy, so tough. And you had no way of knowing it, but I got by just thinking, thinking if maybe…but then I thought maybe it was wrong. I didn’t want to just jump in bed with you because of a divorce.”

“But you aren’t doing that now?”

“No,” Sean said, and he kissed the top of Billy’s head again. “No. Never. This isn’t…that. This is you. Me. No one else. No divorce, nothing else, just you and me.”

And Billy tipped his head back and Sean got caught in the lunar eclipse again, got caught and rose, Sean rose like a phoenix from the smoldering ashes of his past. And Billy watched as he saw in Sean’s eyes a phoenix rising from the smoldering ashes, rising and taking wing and oh God it was beautiful, so beautiful Billy teared up again. Sean rose from a pile of black and grey smoldering ashes and changed into something blindingly brilliant, like flames, like flames that rise only once and burn forever.

And Sean once more kissed away the tears, and he felt as if Billy and he were about to climb a golden stair and climb to something high and good and sweet like honey and wine.