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Vaniel, My Heart

By: Sienna
folder -Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating: Adult ++
Chapters: 37
Views: 5,943
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Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Chapter 33 - Reconciliation

Vaniel, My Heart
Chapter 33: Chapter 33 - Reconciliation
by Sienna
Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. No monies are being made from this work.

Vaniel, My Heart
by Sienna Dawn


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Chapter 33 - Reconciliation

Several weeks later...evening, Haldir and Vaniel's talan...

Vaniel walked to the wide balcony of the flet she shared with Haldir. The night was delicious, neither cool or hot, and gentle breezes played with the red-golden leaves of the culumaldas. Looking outward, her eyes considered the woods before her, the tall, spiraling trees, their branches twined around each other as in a lover's embrace. The wide trunks of the neldor trees supported many of the talans that she was able to spot here and there. Ancient yews spread their arms wide, arching over one another, forming great, dark canopies above the forest floor. The fine webbing of glittering silver light which the elves called the Feanorian lamps wound about many of the trees about them, enfusing the forest with a soft incandescent light; an ethereal pulsing light that illuminated the woods like a great living jewel. The murmurings of the elves came to her on the wind, and she closed her eyes dissolving herself in the magic of this place and time. But then it was over, and the weight of her life returned to her. With a last look at the forest before her, Vaniel sighed and turned.

With her back to the forest, she studied the talan that she had shared with Haldir these past two years, and then her eyes travelled toward the smaller room where Haldir now spent much of his time. Vaniel crossed her arms and sighed, turning back toward the woods once more. Her eyes fixed themselves on a distant spot, upon a glittering winding stair and then she shifted her gaze to the glowing stone bridge that led to the hidden entrance of Thranduil's realm where she knew lay the glittering halls of his kingdom. After the fading of Lorien, many of the elves had shunned the idea of living beneath the ground and had instead built this small community where they could share their lives in fellowship. And in the years she had lived with Haldir, Vaniel had been content to live within the outer fringes of their small city, as he had wished. Yet now the heaviness of this solitude weighed heavily upon her. So often she had tried to reason with Haldir, to help him understanding that shunning his own kind would not help matters, but only serve to make things worse. Stubbornly, he had refused her counsel, that of his healers and even his own brothers. He had grown morose, silent and distant and in the course of time, her heart had stopped yearning, though she had never ceased hoping.

She could not pinpoint when the estrangement between them had begun and had said nothing when Haldir moved himself away from their private rooms. The Healers warned this would happen, as a consequence of his blindness and his initial dependence on others for the very basic needs. Yet, Haldir had stubbornly refused to let others do chores for him and in a matter of weeks had mastered what it would have taken many years. Now, he was able to work his way about the elven city, dress himself, and perform many of the basic functions. Still, Vaniel knew he carried guilt and grief not only over Athryn's death, but of Eodwyn's at Athryn's hands.

Vaniel frowned in thought, thinking back to the days when Thranduil had returned Eodwyn's body back to Gondor. It had been tense times, those days past, for Eodwyn was a Prince of Gondor and of a royal house. She'd heard for herself Rumil's reports to Haldir and she had come to know that it was only King Elessaar's ties to the world of elves and men which kept talk of war at a minimum. Vaniel had realized then how deeply some resented Elessar's reign, and she was grateful to Legolas, who had long sought a peaceful solution to Eodwyn's claim over her, and his mysterious death at the hands of an insane elf. Vaniel would forever be grateful to Elessar and Legolas for their timely and diplomatic solution to the question of Eodwyn's death without revealing her own existance; a thing she had made certain all parties concerned understood. She had no wish to be known as Imrahil's long lost daughter. Her duty was to be with Haldir. That much was clear to her; was it clear to him?

Lost in deep thought, Vaniel's eyes surveyed the forest, her mind travelling back to those early days.

Once it had become obvious that Haldir's eyes were damaged and perhaps for good, Thranduil, not known for his diplomacy in things, stripped Haldir of his command, turning it over to Orophin. Vaniel's heart constricted in pain for her husband. While Haldir had encouraged his younger brother to accept the position, Vaniel knew that in his heart Haldir was stunned that Orophin would not realize how demeaning the demotion was. She knew that Haldir was no fool and that his command would be taken from him; but she knew the last person Haldir had ever considered was Orophin.

Not that Orophin was incompetent, Vaniel mused, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. It was that he, of all people, would know what the demotion meant to Haldir. She had seen the light, the fire, go out of Haldir's eyes the day the new Marchwarden was appointed.

Soon after that Haldir had moved out of their bedroom. That had been over a year ago. By now their contact was limited to a few hugs, and some very chaste kisses. Yet, Vaniel knew Haldir's desire for her had not waned; his eyes still darkening in passion whenever she dressed or undressed in his presence. His breathing deepened when her perfume drifted on the wind near him. She could still detect the softness in his voice when he spoke to her; an intimacy he reserved for her only. And she knew he loved her still. Why he refused to let physical contact soothe the pain of his injury and bitterness baffled her. Surely, he must realize she needed him as much as he needed her? To all of these things the Healers counseled patience. And she was reminded that once, while her body and mind healed, it was Haldir who had patiently waited. Still, her mind argued, they had not been husband and wife then. That there were similarities between both incidents was indisputable, but things had not been exactly the same.

Footsteps padded onto the flet, and Vaniel turned. It was Estelim, slowly approaching her, whining softly, his wide chocolate brown eyes looking into her own. Vaniel scratched the side of his head and smiled.

"You miss your trips with your Master, do you not, my friend?" She whispered to the dog, kneeling to hug the hound to her bosom, a sob escaping her lips.

Understanding his Mistress' distress, Estelim whined softly and nuzzled Vaniel's neck.

Vaniel could hear the hound's steady breathing and she said, "Mayhap, one day, you will again run free in the green fields of Lasgalen." Looking into the hound's eyes, she stood and found that she was not alone.

Haldir stood at the entrance of their talan, his hand poised to open the translucent curtain that covered their living quarters. Instead, his blonde head was turned toward the area where Vaniel stood next to Estelim. Vaniel's unique scent of roses and lilacs wafted delicately to him and he breathed in the gentle aroma. His heart lurched and his body warmed in memory of her touch, her warmth. Frowning, he let his hand drop and walked toward his wife.

Vaniel closed the gap and came to stand next to Haldir. Her hand rested on his chest and she gazed into his face. It was unreadable. Turning away, she said softly, " 'Tis a lovely night. Would you spend some time with me?" Her eyes turned back to Haldir's.

Haldir stood, half turned toward Vaniel, the scent of the woods filling his spirit. Giving Vaniel a slow smile, he said, "Yes, I will." His hand came to softly caress his wife's back.

At his touch, Vaniel stifled a low moan of desire and love and instead rested her head on Haldir's chest. Soon, his other arm came 'round her and he enclosed her in the circle of his arms.

Vaniel sighed, contented.

Haldir's mind was churning, not sure how to begin. He wanted to tell Vaniel so many things, make all right between them again; explain why he had behaved so oddly; and lastly, ask her mind on taking the Straight Road.

His sightless eyes turning toward his wife, Haldir decided that now was the time to speak.

"Vaniel," Haldir's musical voice whispered over her head, but he did not see as Vaniel turned to look at her husband. Still he could feel her warm breath on his neck and he knew her mouth was but a few inches away from him. Memories of honeyed kisses swepted into his mind and he closed his eyes briefly.

And so, to dispel his thoughts and without preamble, Haldir said, "My brothers say you must sail to the West."

Vaniel stared into Haldir's face. His emotions betrayed him and she smiled. "Nay, I will not." She made to turn in his arms, but Haldir tightened the embrace.

"I will not sail without you. Do not ask again, husband, for there are many things still before us. Why don't you sail with me?" She pulled slightly away from him so she could gaze into his face. She saw Haldir wince and turn his head toward the forest.

"I cannot sail." Came his sad voice. The soft rustling of the night-forest surrounded them. Distant singing came from afar and a sweet scent of elanor wafted about them.

Vaniel sighed. "Why not?" She demanded.

"The Valar will not allow me to find the Straight Road." His voice trailed off.

Vaniel was angered with her husband. The first time in many a long while. "And why not? Why should they not let you gain the Undying Lands? You, of all elves left on Middle Earth, save perhaps Legolas and Elrond's sons, have done so much and for so little gain." Then a thought came to her, "Do you fear failing?"

At that Haldir released her and turned from Vaniel. Then she knew. He feared the rejection. And so rather than face the humiliation, he preferred to pretend that his way would be denied. Ever the proud warrior, she reflected sadly.

Coming to him, Vaniel caressed a cheek and saw Haldir close his eyes. "Forgive me, Haldir, for I did not realize." Her voice was a gentle whisper.

His eyes turned toward her and she saw the sadness there. Moved to action, she leaned toward him and placed a light kiss on his mouth, her intention was to comfort him.

Yet, the touch of her soft lips made Haldir's breath catch and Vaniel noticed his reaction. Smiling softly, she placed another light kiss on his closed mouth, and then a kiss on his chin, a little kiss on his cheek. In moments, she heard Haldir's breathing intensify. Slowly she felt his arms encircle her waist and she looked into his eyes. Passion was smouldering there; a passion she had seen him douse many times in the last two years.

This time she meant to fan it, so she ran the tip of her tongue over his closed mouth and was satisfied with the gasp he gave. Haldir's arms came around her and she found herself pressed against his chest, his mouth now opening beneath her tongue. Timidly she tasted the inside of his mouth and breathed deeply at the pleasure the simple act brought her, not realizing yet that Haldir was stirred himself.

When Vaniel's tongue begged entry into his mouth, Haldir was at first uncertain, for so long had guilt been his constant companion, interefering even in his intimate relationship with Vaniel. But at that one moment, when he realized he needed her, as she needed him, then it had come to him with full force: he loved Vaniel, he desired her and by the Valar, he had denied them both for far too long.

Opening his mouth in response to her request, he let her toy with him, until his restraint collapsed and he took her mouth hungrily as a reminder of what was to come.

His tongue dueled with Vaniel's, licking and tasting, thrusting inside her mouth, their moans becoming groans of pleasure and then of hunger and need.

Suddenly, Haldir could stand no more and his hands came to Vaniel's shoulders. There he pushed the material down until her soft skin was revealed and he let his hands reacquaint themselves with her body, pulling on the garment until it gave way and it was pulled down to her waist.

Her breasts bared, Vaniel closed her eyes and allowed Haldir to explore her, cupping her breasts, teasing the nipples, until she felt his mouth close over a taut peak and suckle it hard. She moaned his name once and then found herself in his arms.

Not knowing how, she soon realized she was in their bed, while Haldir straddled her body and rid her of the rest of the gown, pulling it down over her hips, revealing her. Quickly and silently he removed his shirt, boots and leggings, returning nude to the bed where Vaniel lay, her hair fanned out like a mantle behind her head. Straddling her body, Haldir lowered his head toward Vaniel and soon found her lips and took them in a hungry kiss. They kissed until they broke to breathe and then Haldir ran his tongue down the soft column of Vaniel's neck.

Calling his name and wrapping her arms about his neck, Vaniel brought Haldir's head toward her and she claimed his lips in a hungry kiss, sucking his mouth, while she worked one hand down his body and soon reached his manhood. It stood for her, erect, throbbing, ready for her and she wrapped her fingers about him and gently tugged once, then again.

At her touch, Haldir's body arched, breaking free of the impassioned kiss, and his voice moaned her name, his senses on fire, his reasoning gone. All he wanted was to be inside her warmth, to join with her, feel the union of their bodies and souls, and so he reached down to her hand and gently freed himself from her grip so he could enter her.

Protesting, Vaniel understood Haldir's reasons when she felt herself invaded by his hardness, filling her as she did not recall being filled before, and she began to return his downward thrusts with upward movements. Soon their rhythm increased and together they reached ecstacy, the flame of their love igniting a fire of passion that neither would quench for many hours to come.

Long did they lay together that night, finally baring their hearts, their grief and sorrow, their hopes and fears, and together they vowed that nothing, no being or calamity, would ever separate them again.

Key:

Feanorian Lamps - Lamps used by the Noldor and believed to have been created by Feanor, the maker of the silmarils. Feanorian lamps did not use fire for light but instead captured either starlight or moonlight light (still in dispute) via a method not wholly known or even understood by the Noldor who used them. In the trilogies and well as the movies by Peter Jackson, the Feanorian lamps are very visible when Haldir leads the Fellowship to Lothlorien. They are somewhat visible in Imladris, most notably when Arwen returns to Elrond after having had a vision of the future. Feanorian lamps glowed with a bright incandescent blue light and were actually not lamps as we know the term "lamps" but a network of crystals.

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