A Gift of Love

CHAPTER 30

I watch them now. The quiet regard they have one for the other, the reflection of love in their eyes, the simple way they touch each other. The pride in their eyes also as they watch their child, grown to maturity, watch over our young ones. There is a history for them as well that one day may be explored, how they came to Imladris with their child, perhaps they knew in some way what was to unfold and came to give Elrohir the knowledge of possibilities and I the courage to accept those possibilities. Perhaps one day they will allow the tale to be told. For now I am grateful that they chose to journey with us. My regard does not go unnoticed and two pairs of sparkling eyes turn to me. I smile and nod briefly as they reverently pick up their namesakes, kiss their brows, hold them close before returning them to their cradle.

I step closer to them, as they have acknowledged my presence there is no need to remain in the shadows lest they think they are unwelcome. I regard my sons as they look up to me with smiles on their perfect lips, then I turn to the ones who had held them. Tiny arms reach up to them once more and I too smile.

"Take them,¨ I say softly, "it is their intent.¨

Lovingly the little ones are raised into gentle arms once more. The newborns murmur to each other, a sound I recognize from long ago, before their joint gazes rest on those in whose arms they now are. Battle hardened hands cup their faces. I know certainly they too are remembering another time by the slight turn of their heads to each other and the brief nod.

I feel the presence of my brother-lover, his arms around my waist. I press a little back to him, his breath and lips warm on my neck. He smiles also at what he is witnessing. In the silence the brothers turn to us to speak.

"We are honoured by your naming,¨ Elurin says in acknowledgement to Elrohir and I.

"We thank you for what you have given us,¨ Elrohir responses, the words that both he and I know are inadequate to express how we truly feel, "it is a gift so little rewarded in the naming.¨

Elured shakes his head. "The knowledge we imparted is only part payment for the peace we were able to find here and continue to share. A small token for the life we were offered and allowed to accept. Lord Elrond has been and continues to be most generous to us, to give you and he this happiness is more than we had hoped to offer back.¨ He stands close to his brother as they cradle our young ones so lovingly. They hold their gazes on them as we regard them.

"We will leave you to be with them,¨ Elured whispers as he places our first born into my arms. He halts at the shaking of my head with a kiss to my brow. "If it pleases you we will come to see them again.¨

"You are most welcome,¨ Elrohir replies for all of us, our second born placed into his embrace.

I wonder what is was like for them, alone deeply hidden from the preying, vengeful mistrusting eyes of the world around them, as they first brought forth the result of their love for each other. I wonder as they walk with that child linked between them in such obvious love, arms entwined around each other, what it was like to gaze as we do at the new life, knowing that this would not be understood beyond a few, yet having the courage to know it was right. I am in awe of their feat accomplished alone and unaided and shiver at my own recollections of the fear and doubt that assailed me. As they walk smiling and whispering to each other, I turn to my own family.

"Happy?¨ Elrohir asks knowing I can reply in only one way as he touches my cheek and the tiny elflings murmur contentedly.

I nod, looking from them to him, blinking away the tears that serve to indicate my overwhelming happiness.

"Yes, beloved one, yes.¨

How can I be otherwise. The nightmares have brought me to this moment. Elrohir looks to me knowing. I smile softly to him. One day I will further explore this gift that I have been granted, one day I will find the courage as our father and grandmother have done and allow myself to understand and accept. For this moment it is a remote thought as impatient wails from the bundles in our arms pierces the silence. Still though the cries comes an image of two young warriors. Sunlight flashes over their hair highlighting the gold, one to the left, the other to the right. Their identical grey eyes are turned to each other. I see in them as they gaze, the love that is reflected in the eyes of their sires. I smile as they turn briefly with smiles of their own. As they walk from me, bows slung over their broad shoulders their hands are interlocked, one leans closer to kiss the other¡¦s cheek gently. I nod to them and the image fades from me. They walk without shame for who and what they are. The babe Edan in my arms is quiet a moment as we look to each other. There is a slight nod of my head before he turns to his brother. The crying stops and for long moments Elrohir and I watch the silent communication between them before we look to each other, I lean to my brother, and with our sons cradled between us, I kiss him. They will grow knowing it was our love and Elrohir¡¦s courage that brought them forth. Then they remember they are hungry and uncomfortable. Elrohir smiles and shakes his head.

"We will have time alone soon,¨ he laughs as we take them into their room, "they will sleep.¨

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My body desires more than it can endure. Elladan knows this as he tenderly takes me into his arms with gentle kisses. Our sons are asleep curled around each other in a way that tugs at my heart and has me yearn all the more for their sire.

My lover slowly undresses me. He kisses my skin in a way that causes me to shiver. My fingers run through his hair, linger on the tips of his ears, brushing against them. He looks to me, a soft moan escaping his pursed lips.

"Happy?¨ he asks as he rubs his cheek against my thigh.

I nod. How could I not be I smile at him.

He undresses swiftly his hands running down my arms as he stands behind me. He presses gently to me and it is my turn to moan softly at the hard planes of his body. The press is stronger as he bites at my neck, his hands wander over my chest.

"I love you," I hear in a voice that resonates through me. I have the need to feel him all over my body. I have the need to feel him touch my skin. I take hold of his hands and move them. Elladan moans against me, his body moving just enough for me to be constantly aware of his desire, raising mine all the more. With a touch so light that I find a constant surprise in one born to wreak havoc with those hands, Elladan¡¦s finger tips brush over the scar of the birthing. A wound he inflicted and feels such remorse over. A wound that caused him such grief that he could not share it with me until it weighed too heavily upon him.

I do not recoil as I would from another as he touches so carefully over it. He has the way of a healer about him and so much more that he does not comprehend. The skin beneath his fingers is soothed. All signs will soon be gone, but not easy will it be to erase the memory of it for Elladan.

All those thoughts vanish as those careful hands touch lower. I arch against him, inviting more, but my brother knows my strength more than I and he will not permit me to press further than I am able, not matter the cost to himself. Slowly he slides around, dropping to his knees in front of me. I take hold of his shoulders, guiding his head. Not even the soft breathing of our babes who sleep within their room is conscious to me now. All there is is Elladan and the movement of mouth and tongue on me. Bruising fingers dig into his shoulders as he brings me to explosive climax. As he rises, lips glistening to kiss mine, a hard body still presses to me. I lower my hand to touch him in return in the small space between us. I would offer him what he gave to me, but he shakes his head, leading us to our bed. I smile. Though I would touch and stroke him, take him into my mouth and taste him, he would offer something else to me.

Long ago before we came to each other, we would watch in hiding, one the other. I delighted in seeing my beautiful brother climax under his own hand, watching as he threw back his dark head back, listened as unconsciously he called my name. And in that moment that is forever precious to us both, unforgotten in any of its detail, when we saw within each other¡¦s soul and recognized what could no longer be hidden there, when we reached out a shaking hand and touched each other in love, we still found pleasure in simply watching each other.

Elladan lays spread on the bed. It is impossible to describe how beautiful he looks with his hair splayed over his shoulders, legs wide with one knee bent, his hand lingering over his chest, the other resting by his side. The hard length of his male body splendid in such repose. I would have it wrapped in my hand, have my tongue lap at it, have my mouth suck greedily. It takes all the determination I can gather to do naught but sit beside him. His eyes gleam as he looks to me, knowing I cannot resist the slow way I trail my gaze down his taunt body, following the path tracked by his hand. There is no false modesty about my brother. He understand his attraction, but he allows only me to see it and be seduced by it. Others may look upon him, but only with me does he display what others can only guess at. He has no call, he desires no other, has no need to find reassurance with another that he is desirable. He only wishes me to desire him, which I will forever do, for I see within the heart and soul of my brother, see his vulnerability and his strength. See what I mean to him even as he knows what he means to me. There is no other who will see him laid out so, no other who will watch as his fingers curl about his erection and gaze as he slowly works that hand up and down the length. No other will witness the look he gives to me of pure lust and desire. None will hear the moans that fill the air, and there will be only one who will bend down to claim his lips in a passion filled kiss once he is done. Only I will lick at his fingers as they are offered to me, suck them into my mouth. Only I will hear him declare his love for me as we hold each other in a tight embrace. He wonders why I choose the path I did, it is because I see the love he holds for me in his eyes, feel it beat in his heart, and I can deny him nothing that will bring him happiness.

There are faint noises from our sons as we settle against each other. My hands run over his arm for I am unable to stop wanting to feel him. He traces circles over my chest. What we share is beyond measure, beyond understanding. It is something that I would not give up, no matter the price we pay for it.

I glance to my brother, already caught in the net of sleep, kiss the sweet mouth and allow myself to drift. Soon enough the little ones will wake. I feel them safe in their cradle, letting my mind wander their room to gently caress them. I feel their sleepy thoughts reach to me and to Elladan to reassure themselves that we are still with them. It is a link that will grow between us all, between them, for they have what Elladan and I share, the strength of it will be for the future to determine. Then my thoughts come back to the one in whose arms I lie. Elladan so long denying who he completely is to himself. I long for the time when he will freely acknowledge it and go to Ada. I have not the skill my brother has and so do not urge him to any action, how can I when I do not see the paths of choice as he does. Sleep comes and there is nothing but calm until the room echoes with evidence that cannot be ignored that the little ones are once more in need of comforting.

Elladan beside me wakes as I do, smiles before he slips on a robe to bring both to our bed. Carefully he lays them down, taking off their wet cloths. I watch the tiny mouths curl to a grin as first they look to each other then to me. Already they know the hold they have on us. Elladan returns with the bottles and those mischievous lips are curled hungrily to suckle.

"I have seen them,¨ Elladan whispers softly, his eyes not leaving the babe he holds.

He does not need to say more, I understand. My hand touches his. I am glad for they will not have to search for the one they are destined to be with, they will grow in that love and protection.

"As Ada saw us.¨ Elladan is quiet for a few moments. I wonder if he regrets that these two will follow our path. I want to tell him that they have already chosen, as we had, but in his eyes I see there is no need. It is not regret that settles there, but the same joy I have felt.

He looks to me now. I see a flash of fear also. I know he has decided something else. I lean my head to his shoulder. This we will do together I vow to him.

"I know Elrohir,¨ he replies as he kisses my cheek, "you have been forever the strong one.¨

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I sit in the dappled sunlight under the twin trees, watching our young sons crawl about on the warm grass. They are still full of energy as only the young ones have, even after being entertained to Ada¡¦s great delight by Glorfindel for long hours. Now they have each other only and they are focused on that alone. They talk to each other in a language all their own, Ada says no different to the way Elrohir and I were. He looks at them and I know he remembers us and another time. At such moments Glorfindel will stand with him and they will smile to each other and the sadness in Ada's eyes will fade away.

Elrohir will return soon to us. It has been his duty to see to a patrol not far but a duty that saw him leave before the sun had risen in order to return in the afternoon. I glance up from my writing on occasion to see if I can sense his arrival, as do the elflings. We will not leave them long just yet, we would all fret at such a parting though they would not lack for attention or love.

When Elrohir comes I am immersed in the writing, the twins in their play. He wraps his arms around me as I lean back into his embrace.

"My love,¨ I whisper to him as he kissed my cheek and neck, before he is noticed by two further sets of eyes that advance on him. He scoops both into his arms, kissing them on each brow before placing Edan on my lap and sitting beside us with Lurin on his.

Edan grasps the pen on the table frowning when I take it from him before he turns his attention to his brother. Elrohir looks to the parchment with a frown of his own.

I smile. I am not yet quite the scholar he thinks I am, but he knows what it is I write.

"Us?¨ he asks and I nod. It will be for our sons, the story of how they came to be and much more. A story of the love of twins for each other that began long before they entered the world.

"Yes," I whisper as I lay down the pen and join him on the grass, the little ones gurgling as they smile at each other and reach out their hands to touch, ¡§our story.¡¨

And so it will continue.......from the beginning.