I'm Going Slightly Mad!

Title: I'm Going Slightly Mad! Part 3

Author: Lydia NightShade

Rating: Strong R I think.

Pairings: Vrli-rli-bear, Dom/Elijah implied

Warnings: total crackfic… RPS… my muses… swearing… crazy, possibly
not too funny humor… it's all in your tastes I suppose.

Summary: An evil marionette terrorizes our sexy boys… specifically
Orli-bear! My muses come in because… they wanted to!

Beta: It's not worth the beauty that are my betas

Feedback: I would like to know if this is any good or if it's just
dumb. It's not like I expect it to be /brilliant/, but I would like
to know if it was a complete flop or not.

Author's Notes: I love the nightlife! I've got ta boogie! Ooooaaaahhhh!! Special thanks to Kally for giving me some good ideas for the future and for telling me the name of the show with the slime!

Author's Notes 2: I'm really, really tired right now and I think I am
going insane…-er. I'm already pretty nutty, but I spent three hours
this morning drawing fucking perspective AGAIN! I hate morning
classes! And I almost burst out laughing in the middle of it, but I
managed to contain it until a few moments ago… I should be napping!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~I want it all! I want it all! I want it alllll!!!!~

"Oh /why/ is this happening to me??!! I don't deserve this!"
Nightshade moaned as she gazed up at the others from her new bucket.
Her fellow s sts stared at her skeptically and she shrunk back… well
figuratively… she's a fucking puddle for crap's sake!

"Ok… maybe I /do/, but that doesn't make this anymore
enjoyable!" She moaned from her puddly home. "I hate you all!"

"Who's going to carry her?" Billy asked, still not sure what
the hell was going on.

"I'll do it!!" Terra perked up, waving her hand
enthusiastically. "Ooooh /please/ let me do it!" She grin evilly and
rubbed her hands together, practically salivating.

"No!!! Not her! Anyone but /her/! Fuck, give me to the puppet
first!!" Nightshade insisted, her body sloshing about from inside.

"I'll fucking do it!" Jade shouted, running her hands down
her face. "I hate you two /so/ much sometimes!" She picked up the
swishy dark muse and turned to the group. "Okay… we need to find
Viggo and Orli-porli before that little mutant on strings does."

"Can I ask something?" Sean A. interjected.

"You already did!" Billy blurted out. "That's a question in
and of itself."

"Blow me." The puddle muttered. "Go on fat boy, ask away!"

"I'm not fat! I gained the weight for the roll!"

"Yeah and got a few rolls of your own." She muttered.

"Just wanna spill her don't you?" Terra asked, coming up next
to him, gently caressing his chest. "She's so irritating… I think
your innocence is just charming."

"I'm married… /happily/."

"You never stop do you?" Jade scoffed. "Okay… since I seem to
be the only rational one… for once… I'm going to elect myself
leader."

"Oh great the emotionally unstable, bitter, jaded one is
going to lead us through the valley of ciaos and Prozac!"

"Does anyone have a towel?" Lij asked feebly. "This stuff
gets cold… and it really does smell."

"Sorry, none here… I only had a sponge," Billy offered,
dancing around to the song playing walls. "I love these guys!"

"Oh I'm so sorry for /you/… I can't smell… my nose
fucking /melted/!!" Nightshade hissed.

"Why me?" Jade asked herself as their tiny… oh why not…
FELLOWSHIP… dissolved into petty squabbling.

~Meanwhile!~

"Baby! Stop!" Viggo called out to Orlando as he ran
distraughtly into the Labyrinth. `He really does have a nice ass
though…' he thought to himself. "Orli baby watch where you're…"

~SMASH!~

"….going…." Viggo cringed in sympathy as he watched his
distraught lover crash face first into one of the many walls. "He
never did watch where he was going when he cried."

"Owww! Viggoooooo!!" Orli whimpered in pain, unable to rub
his own nose. "I hate this place! I hate this story! I hate the duct
tape! And most of all I hate /you/ for not letting me burn the
fucking marionette when I wanted to!"

"I'm sorry pookie! I know, you're right… but you shouldn't go
running off like that… there's evil about and all." Viggo comforted
as he cuddled his lover to his chest. "I love you my squishy cushy
Orli-bear."

"I know… we /are/ alone." Orli chimed. Viggo laughed and pulled
Orlando close. They started kissing passionately, not wasting time on
skill. They moaned and felt each other up… well… Viggo did… Orlando
was still taped up because… it's funny!

"I love him the most!" the evil familiar voice called out.
The familiar clicking of wood on cement filled Viggo's ears and he
sighed in exasperation.

"Of course!"

"Come here you little crumpet!" It shouted, making a mad dash
for the couple. Viggo waited patiently for the puppet to catch up,
comforting his trembling lover. "I'll suck your soul yet!
Muwahahahhaaa!" he leapt for Orli, but just as he tried he felt
himself stop in midair. Something was tugging him from behind!
Realization hit and he became enraged! Enraged I tell you!

"Hey! No fair!! I hate you mortals!" He thrashed and cursed,
his feet kicking in midair. " Come ooooonnn! Let me down!!" It whined
like a big fat baby!!

"Oh yeah… please suck the soul right out of my hot piece of
ass… I want you to… I don't need him. Are you fucking crazy?!" Viggo
scoffed, holding the marionette by the strings.

"Hahaha! He's got you by the strings!" Orli laughed, watching
his attempted soul sucker struggle to touch the ground.

"A puppet! A fucking puppet! Of all the forms I could have
picked I had to pick a fucking puppet!!" it cursed itself as Viggo
made him dance the jig again.

"Hey look! He still does it!" The artist chimed, watching as
the enraged evil spirit wiggled its butt and clapped its hands to the
rhythm he created. "Why didn't we think of this before?"

"This is so fucking embarrassing…" it seethed, as he was
forced to pat his head and rub his wooden tummy.

"Yay!" Orli-bear bounced. "Make him skip!" Viggo complied
and the marionette began to lik like a six-year-old girlie
girl. "Hahaha! Dance pilgrim!" Orli shouted spitefully. The puppet
fumed and glared, fire in his eyes, but alas! It did nothing to help
free his sorry little ass.

"I really fucking hate you! I'll get away! I'll suck your
soul! All of your souls!! I- oh god!" Viggo started spinning around
and bashed him against the wall. "Uuuuuuuuhhhhh….. I'm gonna barf…."

"What are you going to barf? Sawdust?" Orli's question was
answered quickly as the marionette spewed, yes sawdust, all over the
wall. It made the most horrible retching noises. Viggo had to
laugh.

"Heheheh… cool."

"You're so immature! That's nauseating." Orli pouted,
turning his head away.

"I thought it was rather funny…" a darkly seductive female
voice whispered. Both men stiffened and looked around for the
source. Orli looked up at Viggo and swallowed nervously.

"You heard that too… right?" Viggo nodded unsurely and
continued to look around.

"Um… someone there?"

"You could say that… but then… who's really all there?"

"Apparently not you…" Orli muttered. Vig smacked the back of
his youthful lover's head and gave him a `ssssshut uuuuupp!'
look. "What? Fuck Viggy wiggy, that hurt!"

"Don't anger the mysterious, creepy voices!" He cleared his
throat and smiled, looking around. "Heh, heh, he didn't mean
anything by that. So… are you Satan?" he asked casually. An amused
chuckle followed Viggo's statement and the room filled with a black
mist. "Oh man… creepy!" Viggo whined.

"No, but I did enjoy your performance as the dark one… very
sexy."

The mist started to collect and form a figure until a pale
woman, clad in a black skirt that seemed to come out of the floor and
a red v-neck corset stood before them. Her black hair was so long,
they couldn't find the end. She had ruby red lips that matched her
nails and looked very much like a vampire.

"Oh crap! Run!" Viggo moaned, grabbing Orli and throwing him
over his shoulder.

"Um… my legs still work… and we left the puppet!" Olri
insisted, wiggling in Viggo's arms.

"Yeah, but this way I can grab your ass while I run… and I
bolt whenever creepy mist starts to become a person!" Orli squealed
in delight as he felt Viggo fondling him and actually started to
forget their dangerous situation, until Viggo stopped suddenly and
shrieked.

"I'm not a person I'm a muse." The creature corrected flatly,
suddenly appearing before his eyes. She controlled her laughter and
smirked, "And that was the girliest scream I've ever heard from a
man… and I've heard plenty."

"You have lovely breasts!" Orli chimed, stretching so he
could see her. "And I don't even like the things… more of a cock man
myself." Viggo dropped him in horror and embarrassment staring at the
frightening woman.

"Why the hell did you say that?!"

"I don't know… I told you someone else is controlling me…
someone… /sick/!"

"Move." The muse instructed.

"What?" Orli asked.

"Move!" The woman pushed him away just as a waterfall of
slime came gushing down. "You aren't familiar with the American
show `You Can't Do That On Television' are you?"

"Oh that show was hilarious!" Viggo laughed, "Whenever anyone
said `I don't know' they got slimed," he started laughing and then
turned deathly pale. "Oh shit…" Orli scooted back as the waterfall of
slimy goodness cascaded on his lover. "Ahhhhhh! This is gross!"

~Meanwhile~

"How much further! I'm cold and my shoes are squishy!"
Elijah moaned as the quirky fellowship made their way through the
maze.

"Well…" Jade started, "We're in a story that has no rhyme or
reason, in a maze that took the main character of /that/ movie about
two hours to get through, and random crap keeps happening…" She
paused as five pb&j sandwiches went dancing by. "Like that…" she
sighed. "Oh and there's an evil marionette running around that has a
taste for hot boy's souls… I'd say not for some time." She answered
cynically.

"At least you're safe… right Austin?" Nightshade quipped,
trying to figure out how to light her cigarette with no hands.

"My wife thinks I'm the most attractive member of the movie!"
He snapped. He heard her chuckling and rolled his eyes.

"I think you're cute!" Terra offered, waving coyly and
winking. "I find married men /very/ sexy."

"Oh Christ… can someone please hose her down?" Nightshade
drawled disgustedly.

"Not before I use it!" Lij interjected.

"I don't know baby… I kinda like you all slimy and slippery…
makes me hard just thinking…" Dom paused and shook his head really
considering what he was saying. "That was you again wasn't it?" He
asked looking at Terra.

"What can I say? One track mind." She shrugged… besides,
there are entire webrings dedicated to the idea of you buggering the
little hobbit. Fingering his ring you could say." She wiggled her
eyebrows and snarffed. "Oh my! I don't make those noses! SNARFF!!
HAHAHA SNARFF!!" She turned beat read and slapped a hand over her
mouth.

"Help me someone!" Billy shouted, as he went tap-dancing
by. "I can't stop dancing!" he shouted as he continued doing an
impressive impersonation of `Lord of the Dance… er… River Dance'…
whatev!

"Go Billy!" Ian chimed in a female, heavily accented British
voice. He scoffed and thumped his broom… I mean… wizard's
staff! "This is blatant discrimination! Just because I'm gay doesn't
make me girlie!"

"Haven't you been paying attention? We're all getting screwed
up the ass!" Jade barked.

"Ha! You barked! Woof! Woof, woof, woof, woof!" Dom
continued, falling ll fll fours and barking like a real dog.

"Dommie, baby, what are you doing?" Lij asked totally
confused. Dom woofed and came up to his lover, sniffing his
crotch. "Eww! Stop that Dom! This isn't our bedroom!" He blushed,
realizing what he'd just revealed. Jade laughed.

"You pretend you're dogs in the bed room?"

"No…" he denied. She flashed him a skeptic look. He stamped
his foot and groaned. "Okay once! But it was his idea! I just went
along `cause… well I don't know why… I guess- OH FUCK!!" He screamed
as the slime covered him yet again.

"I can't stop!" Billy panted as he continued to do the
routine from Billy Elliot. "Why am I the only one dancing? He was
English, not Scottish!"

"Duh! You're name's /Billy/!" Nightshade shouted irritated
beyond belief. "Un-melt me!"

"Hehehe, Dommie! Stop that tickles!" Elijah giggled as his
lover jumped on him and licked his face.

"Aww! He's cleaning you!" Terra swooned, watching the display
of… oh yes I dare… PUPPY love!

"Is this stuff non-toxic?" The child actor, turned sex object
asked curiously.

"Why yes it is Elijah! If it wasn't they wouldn't use it on
children's television seeing as how they eat everything. It is in
fact edible!" Ian blurted out. They all turned to him. "Chicken,
chicken, chicken, chicken!" He chanted, dancing around shedding straw
as he went. The remaining fellowship watched him wide-eyed and
confused.

"…..Yeah…." Jade said, rolling her eyes. "Um… let's move out
of here… it seems to have a /weirder/… didn't think that was
possible… energy about it."

"Ooh Dommie… uuuhhh… mmm… good boy… /good/ boy…" Lij panted
as his canine-ish lover licked his crotch clean.

"I'm in a nightmare… that's the only explanation…" Jade
laughed, looking down at her melted co-worker. "We're in an idiot
fruit salad! Ahahahahaha!!"

"Can someone else carry me? I think she's cracked."

"Uhhh… uh, uh, uh…" Elijah continued to moan as he and Dom
started getting… um… /intimate/. "I love you baby… I love you
Dommie!" he moaned.

"Woof, woof, wooooooooofffff!" Dom howled.

"Yay!" Terra squealed, clapping her hands and sighing as she
watched the sexy hobbits fuck like bunnies. "I love my job," she
sobbed happily, wiping a tear from her eye. "Shit… hope my makeup
isn't running."

"What are you doing in /my/ Labyrinth?" A sexy, somewhat
insane yet delightfully musical voice roared.

"Oh my god! David Bowie!!!" Ian, Billy, and Sean A.
squealed.


Tbc….

Next episode… Dom and Lij finish their frolic, puppet
vengeance, more Orli-bear and Viggy-wiggy, and….. THE EXCITEMENT OF
DAVID BOWIE!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!