Cartel merka (wild rose)
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
3
Views:
1,887
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
3
Views:
1,887
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
chap 5-6
Chapter 5
On the third day he took me to the river, we walked hand in hand like lovers, he squeezed it and I was remembered of the night before and I felt my blush return. He showed me the roses and we kissed, I sat down In the grass and watched my lover, this was a new feeling to me, and I was still afraid to even touch him, fearing he would think me too needy or too lovesick.
He told me about the river and his love for this piece of nature seemed to radiate from him. I laid down in the grass feeling the chilly blades underneath me, I looked up in the bright blue sky and smiled, I could not remember I had ever felt this happy or fulfilled. This was how love was supposed to feel.
I turned my head and bended one of the roses careful not to cut myself on its thorns. It smelled sweet and fresh, I sighed and let go of the rose, I had not even noticed that he had stopped talking, I popped up on a elbow seeing him sitting in the grass looking over the river, he looked in thoughts, he was even more beautiful now than he had been the day before, I fell back on the grass and watched the clouds. He gently leaned over me and kissed me and I sighed out of pure bliss.
What happened next felt mostly like I was deep in water, I heard him mutter something and felt a sting of the strangest pain I had ever felt, I wanted to ask him what happened but my lips did not move, all I could do was to watch him standing smiling over me with a large rock from the riverbank.
Why was my vision blurring? The numbness felt dark and frightening, I wanted to feel his comforting touch. The darkness surrounded me. And the next thing I remembered is the feeling of being lifted in the air and the feeling of water, not numbness but cold and wet, my mind struggled to wake and fight back.
Water found its way into my eyes, nose mouth as my clothes dragged me down, just as I had thought love had been different, I somewhat imagined death would feel different too. I saw a blurred figure standing; it had to be him, my beloved.
/Please help me I don't want to die, I want to live, breath and love I was not sure if I had thought it or actually said it./
My last thought before drowning in the dark was why had he never called me by my name? Why had he called me his rose? And just this once all I wanted was for his voice to utter my name, just this once.
Chapter 6
Then finally, on the third I knew that the time had come. I went to his room and found him smiling at me, insecure what would happen. Like I had promised I took him to the river, walking next to him with his hand in mine. Again he blushed, just like he had when he had been innocent. It was sweet to see him like that. For some time I just spoke to him, told him about the roses I loved so much and about Bruinen. It wasn't time to mention more yet. And he seemed to need the reassurance of my words.
I talked for some time while he enjoyed the surroundings before I lost myself in thoughts. It had to be done, to be completed before we could find the peace and the freedom of this piece of nature again. With a sweet smile I walked towards him, not showing him what I was carrying. I bent down towards him to kiss him. Why should I scare him, now that his destiny was near? While he lay back and closed his eyes in bliss I took the rock I had carried up from the river and smashed it against his head.
He didn't scream, he was too startled to react at all. His only reaction was to open his eyes again for a short moment. I could see the light in them fading and for a moment it hurt my heart to see him like that. But he didn't scare me by screaming or crying in pain and I was pleased that I had decided against just drowning him. It would have taken longer. Maybe that would have scared him, but now
he just lay back and closed his eyes again, uttering a short strangled sound before he lost his consciousness.
When I looked at the blood that finally covered my hands, I smiled down at him, kissing the red lips of the prince one last time. They were still red, as scarlet as the roses. I had taken away all the pain and the sorrow he had, taken the life of worries that had lain in front of him and replaced it with entire freedom. "All beauty must die, yours just like that of the roses, my prince." I whispered to
him before I once again bent down to place his rose between his lips.
The blood disturbed me a little and I took a bit of cloth to wet in the water of Bruinen before cleaning his face. It went pale and his expression was innocent again, just like it had been before I had taken him. And I felt at peace with my world again. Pleased that I had completed it. He had accepted my present, the whole present I could give to him. Love, pain and freedom. I had given and taken it and I prayed to the Valar that it would work. That my soul could finally find peace, that it would stop hurting now.
This wasn't for me, well not all of it. It would grant me father's attention again, like it had been when still had a happy family. Before... yes before sorrow had taken from me what had been dearer to my heart than anything, than my life and the life of others. It had destroyed my family; my mother had left for Valinor. And father couldn't teach me anymore. Couldn't critize my actions any longer. He feared anything that might hurt me just like I tried not to 'cause him more pain.
But it just didn't work; I could feel that it was becoming worse instead of any improvement. And I couldn't face losing my father's attention forever. I needed to wake him, no matter at which cost. Show him that I was there and had to be talked to. I would take a punishment, rather than to take the pained silence. It would be easier to live with angry words, even with being canned than with the patience and the love that was shown to me.
Carefully I caressed the beautiful face one last time before carrying him away from the roses while I walked closer towards the stream./I know you can hear me, my heart, I know that you are here. It is finished now; I finally found the perfect creature, the only one who could ever match with you. All is prepared for you, I claimed him for us. Now you have but to wait until he comes to Mandos and then you can finally have someone who is worthy of your touch. Almost innocent, just like you and nearly as pretty. It took long, I know, but it was a difficult search. I love you, you know that I could never find peace again after what happened. This will not give us back what we lost, but at least you will finally have a matching lover and I can finally make father aware of me again./
It took a while until I found the right place. And still after so many years I cannot believe what has been taken from me. Pain almost makes my chest burst while I try to remember that day. Sunny and beautiful it had been, innocent like the young prince who's life I had taken. We had gone to the river to swim, hadn't known that the water would become troubled as the weather turned and a wind came up.I lost him, lost him to the water we had played in since we had been toddlers. It still seems to break my heart, again and again to hear his screams, the fear in his voice.
We were twins, so close together and so dear to each other. And suddenly he was taken from me without a warning. It's impossible to describe the feeling, the emptiness inside of me when my second half was ripped from me. There was nothing but darkness around me for years as I tried to understand it. My parents were scared, terribly scared that I would fade from them. But before anything happened to me my mother was taken by the Orcs. Father grieved terribly for her, just like for his sons. Yes, for both of us. He couldn't understand that apart from my pain all I needed was his love, anything he could give to me, anything that reminded me that I hadn't lost my whole family.
But he would have to now. He would have to speak to me, to become aware that I did wrong. Even though I only took this life to give this beautiful wild rose freedom, to give him to my brother, the sweetest being he could ever wish to be loved by. We will finally find peace, my heart and I. Completed by the sacrifice I made to him, the body we will both claim. Freedom and peace will finally be upon us again, all three of us.
And then, when I placed the corpse of the prince to the water and watched the water claim the body without hearing the terrified screams my brother had uttered I felt at peace again. The young prince wasn't scared of his destiny anymore, he had accepted it now and he would find my twin, he would give my brother what he deserved. I sighed with relief before I started to wash my hands from his blood. Namar, Cartel'merka, namar.
Elvish words:
Namar = Farewell
Cartel'merka = Wild rose
- THE END -
On the third day he took me to the river, we walked hand in hand like lovers, he squeezed it and I was remembered of the night before and I felt my blush return. He showed me the roses and we kissed, I sat down In the grass and watched my lover, this was a new feeling to me, and I was still afraid to even touch him, fearing he would think me too needy or too lovesick.
He told me about the river and his love for this piece of nature seemed to radiate from him. I laid down in the grass feeling the chilly blades underneath me, I looked up in the bright blue sky and smiled, I could not remember I had ever felt this happy or fulfilled. This was how love was supposed to feel.
I turned my head and bended one of the roses careful not to cut myself on its thorns. It smelled sweet and fresh, I sighed and let go of the rose, I had not even noticed that he had stopped talking, I popped up on a elbow seeing him sitting in the grass looking over the river, he looked in thoughts, he was even more beautiful now than he had been the day before, I fell back on the grass and watched the clouds. He gently leaned over me and kissed me and I sighed out of pure bliss.
What happened next felt mostly like I was deep in water, I heard him mutter something and felt a sting of the strangest pain I had ever felt, I wanted to ask him what happened but my lips did not move, all I could do was to watch him standing smiling over me with a large rock from the riverbank.
Why was my vision blurring? The numbness felt dark and frightening, I wanted to feel his comforting touch. The darkness surrounded me. And the next thing I remembered is the feeling of being lifted in the air and the feeling of water, not numbness but cold and wet, my mind struggled to wake and fight back.
Water found its way into my eyes, nose mouth as my clothes dragged me down, just as I had thought love had been different, I somewhat imagined death would feel different too. I saw a blurred figure standing; it had to be him, my beloved.
/Please help me I don't want to die, I want to live, breath and love I was not sure if I had thought it or actually said it./
My last thought before drowning in the dark was why had he never called me by my name? Why had he called me his rose? And just this once all I wanted was for his voice to utter my name, just this once.
Chapter 6
Then finally, on the third I knew that the time had come. I went to his room and found him smiling at me, insecure what would happen. Like I had promised I took him to the river, walking next to him with his hand in mine. Again he blushed, just like he had when he had been innocent. It was sweet to see him like that. For some time I just spoke to him, told him about the roses I loved so much and about Bruinen. It wasn't time to mention more yet. And he seemed to need the reassurance of my words.
I talked for some time while he enjoyed the surroundings before I lost myself in thoughts. It had to be done, to be completed before we could find the peace and the freedom of this piece of nature again. With a sweet smile I walked towards him, not showing him what I was carrying. I bent down towards him to kiss him. Why should I scare him, now that his destiny was near? While he lay back and closed his eyes in bliss I took the rock I had carried up from the river and smashed it against his head.
He didn't scream, he was too startled to react at all. His only reaction was to open his eyes again for a short moment. I could see the light in them fading and for a moment it hurt my heart to see him like that. But he didn't scare me by screaming or crying in pain and I was pleased that I had decided against just drowning him. It would have taken longer. Maybe that would have scared him, but now
he just lay back and closed his eyes again, uttering a short strangled sound before he lost his consciousness.
When I looked at the blood that finally covered my hands, I smiled down at him, kissing the red lips of the prince one last time. They were still red, as scarlet as the roses. I had taken away all the pain and the sorrow he had, taken the life of worries that had lain in front of him and replaced it with entire freedom. "All beauty must die, yours just like that of the roses, my prince." I whispered to
him before I once again bent down to place his rose between his lips.
The blood disturbed me a little and I took a bit of cloth to wet in the water of Bruinen before cleaning his face. It went pale and his expression was innocent again, just like it had been before I had taken him. And I felt at peace with my world again. Pleased that I had completed it. He had accepted my present, the whole present I could give to him. Love, pain and freedom. I had given and taken it and I prayed to the Valar that it would work. That my soul could finally find peace, that it would stop hurting now.
This wasn't for me, well not all of it. It would grant me father's attention again, like it had been when still had a happy family. Before... yes before sorrow had taken from me what had been dearer to my heart than anything, than my life and the life of others. It had destroyed my family; my mother had left for Valinor. And father couldn't teach me anymore. Couldn't critize my actions any longer. He feared anything that might hurt me just like I tried not to 'cause him more pain.
But it just didn't work; I could feel that it was becoming worse instead of any improvement. And I couldn't face losing my father's attention forever. I needed to wake him, no matter at which cost. Show him that I was there and had to be talked to. I would take a punishment, rather than to take the pained silence. It would be easier to live with angry words, even with being canned than with the patience and the love that was shown to me.
Carefully I caressed the beautiful face one last time before carrying him away from the roses while I walked closer towards the stream./I know you can hear me, my heart, I know that you are here. It is finished now; I finally found the perfect creature, the only one who could ever match with you. All is prepared for you, I claimed him for us. Now you have but to wait until he comes to Mandos and then you can finally have someone who is worthy of your touch. Almost innocent, just like you and nearly as pretty. It took long, I know, but it was a difficult search. I love you, you know that I could never find peace again after what happened. This will not give us back what we lost, but at least you will finally have a matching lover and I can finally make father aware of me again./
It took a while until I found the right place. And still after so many years I cannot believe what has been taken from me. Pain almost makes my chest burst while I try to remember that day. Sunny and beautiful it had been, innocent like the young prince who's life I had taken. We had gone to the river to swim, hadn't known that the water would become troubled as the weather turned and a wind came up.I lost him, lost him to the water we had played in since we had been toddlers. It still seems to break my heart, again and again to hear his screams, the fear in his voice.
We were twins, so close together and so dear to each other. And suddenly he was taken from me without a warning. It's impossible to describe the feeling, the emptiness inside of me when my second half was ripped from me. There was nothing but darkness around me for years as I tried to understand it. My parents were scared, terribly scared that I would fade from them. But before anything happened to me my mother was taken by the Orcs. Father grieved terribly for her, just like for his sons. Yes, for both of us. He couldn't understand that apart from my pain all I needed was his love, anything he could give to me, anything that reminded me that I hadn't lost my whole family.
But he would have to now. He would have to speak to me, to become aware that I did wrong. Even though I only took this life to give this beautiful wild rose freedom, to give him to my brother, the sweetest being he could ever wish to be loved by. We will finally find peace, my heart and I. Completed by the sacrifice I made to him, the body we will both claim. Freedom and peace will finally be upon us again, all three of us.
And then, when I placed the corpse of the prince to the water and watched the water claim the body without hearing the terrified screams my brother had uttered I felt at peace again. The young prince wasn't scared of his destiny anymore, he had accepted it now and he would find my twin, he would give my brother what he deserved. I sighed with relief before I started to wash my hands from his blood. Namar, Cartel'merka, namar.
Elvish words:
Namar = Farewell
Cartel'merka = Wild rose
- THE END -