Meleth-nin

Disclaimer: Not mine but J.R.R. Tolkien’s.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, sweeties! :) I’m happy that you’re still reading. It really seems that no-one wants Legolas to get together with Randír… Oh well, you’ll just have to read further to find out who Legolas is going to choose. :) Hope you like.

thoughts


Chapter twenty-six


Aragorn stared at Legolas, speechless. He couldn’t believe that he could act so coolly towards him, considering the situation. He also had hard time believing his eyes. Legolas kissed Randír. Seeing that sight was like stabbing his heart with a dull knife.

“Before you say anything let me say this”, Aragorn said a bit sharply. “I know I have not treated you well in the past, but what you are doing now is just cruel. I may not deserve kindness from you but this is breaking my heart. If you have chosen Randír to be your future mate, then so be it. I cannot make you change your mind. But know that I love you as much as I always have and will never stop missing you.”

Legolas blushed slightly and he nodded, averting his gaze for a moment. “I do not mean to be cruel to you, Estel. You do not deserve that from me, after everything we have been through together. I don’t just mean this”, he said and gestured with his hand, referring to the present situation, “but also the Quest and the time before that. Would you please sit down and talk with me? I think we have a lot to discuss.”

Aragorn nodded and sat down on the bed. “Do you mind if I sit here? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable”, he awkwardly said. Inside he thought that it was infuriating that he felt the need to ask permission to sit next to his mate when someone else had practically had sex with said mate on the same bed mere minutes ago.

“I am comfortable, thank you”, Legolas said almost shyly. “It isn’t like we haven’t been close before. When I woke up you were practically draped all over me.”

Now it was Aragorn’s turn to blush. “I just needed to be near you”, he said softly. “But first of all, can I ask you a question?” At Legolas’ nod he continued. “I am not sure if I have the right to ask this question, but I need to know. Is Randír your lover?”

Legolas inhaled quickly. “What makes you ask that?”

Aragorn gave him a pointed look. “I am neither blind nor stupid, Legolas. I saw you earlier in the garden. You didn’t oppose to him kissing you and touching you, and when I walked in just minutes ago you were embracing and kissing him. I know that usually you are not free with your body, so I take it that he means something to you. Are you lovers?”

Legolas shook his head furiously. “No, we are not lovers. Randír is a dear friend to me, but we have never done more than kissed. I have not given myself to him.” He took a moment to calm himself before continuing. “However, I have to be honest with you and say that I have feelings for him. He has supported me in my grief and has come to mean a lot to me. He loves me, Estel, and has promised to care for me and my child. I know that he means what he said.”

Aragorn couldn’t breathe. This was the moment when Legolas would say that he had accepted the proposal and would marry the Captain. He closed his eyes for a moment to stop tears from forming. You fool, his mind mocked. Did you really believe that you would get Legolas back? He has fallen for another and will not return to you. You had your chance but you blew it. You have lost Legolas and Eldarion, for good.

“What say you? That you will marry him and raise our son with him?” He whispered brokenly. He couldn’t bear to look at the Elf, knowing that he was no longer his to love, to touch and hold.

“No.” Legolas’ voice was steady.

Aragorn’s eyes moved quickly to his mate, certain that he had heard wrong. “What?” He didn’t dare hope that Legolas was saying what he thought he was saying.

Legolas’ eyes widened. “Did you think that I accepted his proposal? Gods Estel, no. I couldn’t accept it; it would not have been the right thing to do. I don’t think I could have loved him as much as he loves me, or in the same manner. What you saw was a goodbye kiss. He will be leaving to Lothlórien later today.”

The Human couldn’t keep himself in check any longer but gathered the Elf in his arms carefully, mindful of the wound in his Elf’s stomach. “You silly Elf, you almost gave me a heart attack. I was so sure that you would marry him, and truth to be told, I couldn’t have blamed you for it. But sweet Eru, am I happy that you didn’t say yes. I love you so much, Legolas. It would kill me to keep away from you”, he said passionately, stroking Legolas’ slender back tenderly.

Legolas gently disentangled himself from Aragorn’s possessive grip. “I was not finished speaking yet, Estel. Please hear me out”, he said softly. “I spoke with Randír about this and I was very close to saying yes. He has never betrayed my trust. What happened today was an accident; he didn’t mean to hurt me and I do not blame him for it.”

“I almost said yes, Aragorn. I know his heart is true and that he would be a good father to Eldarion; but I cannot give him my heart and I don’t think I ever could. For my heart isn’t mine to give; it already belongs to another, as it always has and always will. It belongs to you, Estel.”

“I know that you’re going to say something that I will not like. For so far this sounds too good to be true”, Aragorn said warily. “If there wasn’t a ‘but’ you would be in my arms right now, and I would be holding you and kissing you.”

Legolas smiled faintly. “You are right, as always. Just because I am not marrying Randír it does not mean that I am returning to your side. I do not doubt your love anymore, Estel. That is not the problem anymore. There is no lie in you; I know you speak the truth when you say that you love me and that you don’t want to hurt me ever again.”

The Prince sighed wearily and rubbed his eyes. It hurt him so much to say this to Aragorn, but he knew that he had to be honest. If they were ever going to try and save their marriage it had to base on honesty. This was not the time to keep secrets or try to save the other’s feelings by half-truths.

“The problem is that I don’t know if I can trust you again. I have learned that sometimes love just is not enough; you need to have understanding and respect for your mate to make your marriage work, and I honestly think that our marriage lacked in those two. I am not sure if we can change that.”

“You think I don’t respect you?” Aragorn asked incredulously. “How can you say such a thing? You are my mate and my fellow ruler and I value your opinion greatly. Surely you know this, Legolas!”

Legolas shook his head. “No, I don’t. I have felt for a very long time that you don’t need me. I am of no use to you; all I can do is give you an heir. You never ask for my opinions or my advise, and you very rarely speak to me about the matters of your kingdom. I say ’your’ kingdom instead of ’ours’, for I don’t feel like a fellow ruler but like a trophy husband instead. I am sorry but this is the truth.”

The King gaped at the Elf. “I cannot believe my ears! If this really is the way you feel why have you never said anything? Dear gods, Legolas… If I’ve made you feel like this I’m very sorry, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth!”

He let out an annoyed sigh. “It really seems that we don’t understand each other very well… The reason why I have not spoken to you about the problems of the kingdom is because I have not wanted to burden you with them. I knew that you didn’t enjoy your pregnancy and wanted to make your life a bit easier. Forgive me, meleth-nin. I didn’t know that you would take it the wrong way.”

Legolas shrugged slightly. “I cannot know your thoughts but I do know how your actions made me feel. But do not think that I blame you for this alone. I know that our break-up was my fault, too. I wanted and needed you to be there for me, but it never occurred to me that maybe you needed the same from me”, the Prince said.

“Instead of trying to help you and spending time with you in your study, I stayed in my quarters, blaming you for not being the perfect devoted husband I wanted you to be. It hurt me to think that you didn’t want me there, that you rather were with Thomas and allowed him to assist you. I don’t think I wanted to understand the importance of your work; I just knew that I needed you but you weren’t there for me.”

This time Legolas didn’t pull away when Aragorn took him in his arms. He melted in his mate’s embrace and felt whole for the first time in months. The Elf sighed softly and closed his eyes, resting his head on The King’s broad shoulder. “This has been so hard for me… Trying to do what’s best for our baby, thinking that you don’t love me anymore… It has been so hard, Estel, and I’m so tired.”

Aragorn stroked his Elf’s hair with his fingertips, not wanting this moment to ever end. Things weren’t perfect but they were better than they had been for a very long time. Legolas hadn’t promised to come back to him, but at least they were talking about the matters that had resulted in their break-up, trying to deal with their problems; and his precious beloved was finally in his arms, his round belly pressing against Aragorn.

“My sweet beloved”, he whispered gently, nuzzling Legolas’ neck with his nose. “I know it has been very hard for you and I can never apologise enough for causing you pain. I swear I will make it all up to you; I will be the best possible father and husband. I love you so much, you and our baby.”

“I love you too, Estel”, was Legolas’ muffled response.

This time Aragorn didn’t mind the tears that ran down his cheeks; this time they were tears of happiness. Legolas still loved him! It was more than he could have hoped for and it gave him a reason to believe that given time, things would be good between them once again. He pulled away slightly after a moment, searching Legolas’ eyes with his.

“What do you want to do now?” Aragorn asked, wanting to give Legolas the opportunity to decide the pace and the course.

“I am quite content right here in your arms right now”, the fair Elf answered, smiling slightly. “You could make this better, though, by kissing me like you mean it.”

The King was ever so happy to do as he was asked. Legolas’ mouth tasted sweet and his lips were soft against Aragorn’s. The sweet familiarity of Legolas’ taste almost undid the Man. “Gods Legolas, I beg you. Please do not push me away. It would kill me if I had to let you go. Never again will I be parted of you, meleth-nin.”

“Never let go of me”, Legolas whispered against his mate’s lips. “Hold me like there is no tomorrow, don’t ever let go.”

They both knew that their problems were far from solved, but they also knew that this could mean a new beginning for their relationship. Right now neither one of them wanted to dwell on their problems but enjoy the closeness and tenderness of this moment. Finally they broke off and their eyes met.

“I know that there are many things we need to discuss later on”, Legolas began. “But there is only one question I want to ask right now. Why did you not come earlier for me?”

Aragorn’s mouth tightened into a thin line but he didn’t stop the gentle stroking of Legolas’ back. “I didn’t get the letter my father left me and heard the news of your departure only later. I am ashamed to admit this but I was angered by the fact that you had left without saying anything… Then I had a dream of you and me and I realised that I cannot live my life without you and that I had to get you back.

I decided to visit Éomer, our friend, hoping that you were there. I had only arrived when we were informed that a party of Orcs had attacked their hunting party, and I wanted to help Éomer and his people to get rid of that scum. It took longer than we expected; months instead of days or even weeks. But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

We learned that Thomas was with them. I had banished him from my kingdom as soon as I found out about him stealing the letter and it had made him vengeful and bitter. When he ran into the Orcs he made a deal with them; if they didn’t kill him he would assist them in destroying first Edoras and then Minas Tirith. I killed him when I heard of this new treachery.”

Aragorn sighed. “When the battle was over we realised that Éomer was badly hurt. In fact he wasn’t even breathing and I thought he was dead. Gods, I almost gave up then. My dear friend was in the gates of death and my precious mate was somewhere in the North. We decided to take him to Lothlórien to the Lady, for I knew that I could not help Éomer, not this time. We arrived there in time and she was able to save his life. I left as soon as possible and rode here without delay. Believe me when I say that I wanted to be here with you, and it wasn’t by my own choice that I was delayed so. I am sorry for making you feel like I didn’t care for you.”

Legolas listened to Aragorn’s story in fascination. When Aragorn told him about Thomas’ death his expression changed. that vengeful monster, he thought. I am most glad to hear that if I return to Minas Tirith I will never have to see him again. As soon as Aragorn was finished Legolas spoke. “Is Éomer all right now?” He was very concerned for his friend whom he had learned to love during the final battles of the Quest. Aragorn nodded and Legolas felt that he could breathe again.

“You must be exhausted”, he then said softly. “You have been fighting for months and the first thing that happens here is your mate getting hurt. Come, lie down with me.”

Aragorn obliged and settled down next to his mate, wrapping his arms around him. The scent of Legolas’ hair was intoxicating and only now did Aragorn realise how much he had missed these little things about his Elf.

“I am glad that you came after me”, Legolas whispered. “I am sorry for believing the worst of you; that you didn’t care about me anymore. I should have realised that only a mission like this could keep you away from me.”

Slowly their breathing slowed down and the two of them fell asleep on each others’ arms. That night the Man and the Elf slept better than ever before.


TBC…

A/N: I thought it was about time to have some sweet Man-Elf lovin’. Hope you liked, please review. :)