A Gift of Love

CHAPTER 26

The delegates arriving stirred the household that had been preparing for the approaching winter. True to his vow Elladan had not left my side, busying himself with preparations of a different kind. He had thrown his limitless energy into endeavours he had not explored since we had turned of age.

The room our babes would rest in blazed with his artistry. From the ceiling above the silver stars of the night glistened in their blueblack sky. The walls decorated with charcoal patterns yet to be coloured. I stand as he applies more to the branch of a tree that hangs low over a single chair in a garden. I smile as I recognize the intertwining branches of our trees. Casting around, yet another space has the beginnings of a familiar waterfall where I know there is to come the splash of bright water and Elladan¡'s dancing rainbows. Our offspring will know from an early time what has shaped the lives of those who gave them life. I grow in hope that they will come to treasure such things as their sires have. My hands rests with knowing on the curve of my stomach. Elladan says he finds the truth in what we have done and will soon accomplish still too dream like. Even I at times find it so.

I walk over to my brother who frowns at a leaf that will not form as he sees in his mind's eye. He will accept no help on this task, every colour will be placed by his hand alone. It serves as both release and gift. The necklet I wear catches the yellow rays as they enter the room. It glows with the love in which it was give. My arms wrap around my lover, he leans back into my embrace. I lay a kiss to his neck then cheek.

"It is beautiful,¨ I murmur and am rewarded with a smile that lights his eyes.

I am pleased. It is good to see him happy. I had thought he may return to his melancholy, once more regretting his pledge to stay. I know he still misses the hunt, looks longingly still at those who ride inn our stead, but he has pushed aside his needs to embrace mine. Each day I ask if I could love him more, each night I answer yes, for everything that he does deepens what I feel for him. Every glance, smile and touch tells me he loves me as completely as I do him. Every sacrifice he makes is for me, though he will laugh at that thought and counter that I sacrifice more for him. This that I carry is no sacrifice for one such as he.

Elladan turns in my arms.

"They come soon.¨

He tries to speak without emotion but there is a tremble in his voice nonetheless.

"Yes, I reply, holding him to me. I know his fears, sense them unspoken as my own. Imladris accepts us, though some begrudgingly and only for what we are. Lorien knows of us but does not challenge our right. But Great Greenwood and the wanderers who will gather here at Ada's request bear no such allegiance to us.

We wait upon the stone steps. Elladan is tense beside me. The proclaimed King dismounts, his gaze resting on each of those who stand in greeting. He nods to Ada who steps forward. Before they embrace I see the King's deep blue eyes rest to Glorfindel with a smile that Glorfindel bows his head to. He pats Ada heartily with his broad hand, his eyes not leaving our own golden haired warrior. Only when Ada steps back does he avert his gaze. I look now to Glorfindel whose own eyes are cast to the ground. What turmoil lurks for him I do not know. It will come to Ada to soothe the troubles of his lover.

Ada turns back to the steps, Thranduil walks but a pace behind him, those of rank following behind their king. Ada glances to Glorfindel who lifts his eyes to meet the eyes of his lover. A moment passes between them as I avert my gaze from them bringing it to the one who stands before Elladan and I.

I am startled by the intensity of his blue eyed regard. He nods with respect to Elladan who returns the gesture. Under our heavy long sleeved robe Elladan searches for and grasps my hand. His thoughts his thoughts are clear in my mind.

//He will not confront us here, surrounded by so many//

I hold tight his hand in return. //He would not// Still I need Elladan's reassurance as he needs mine.

Thranduil seems to map each detail of Elladan¡¦s form as we stand. He touches him lightly on the shoulder. Elladan with practiced skill of a warrior does not move. Thranduil smiles to him.

"How well you have grown.¨

Elladan's smile is slight in acknowledgement, though I know he will be well pleased with such a thought.

Without hesitiation I too meet his gaze. His eyes travel the length of my body before they rest on mine once more. My hand clenches Elladan's hard as I await whatever words will be offered to me.

"So it is true,¨ he whispers.

I nod. If there is a thought to be heard in those words, it would be wonder. There is little visible, covered as my body is my the formal set of my dress, yet his eyes light with the sight of the Elder in this. I am swallowed by his regard of me, barely noticing the hand that touches my shoulder. The golden haired king smiles with a brilliance.

"I would that we speak more on this,¨ he asks.

Mutely I nod to him as he turns away. The remainder of his company pass, some in open regard of my brother and I, others steadfast in their refusal, protocol or disapproval their guide. Though as we turn to follow, I note that not all gazes fell to me after they had regarded my brother.

We retire to our rooms as do our guests. There will be later a banquet in their honour and on the morrow the council will begin. Elladan has no love of such rounds of seemingly endless debate and has begged to be released from this duty, saying I am more suited for such diplomacy. I had sat shaking my head playfully at him a wry smile on my lips, knowing he spoke truly in this regard, wishing it were not so and that I would instead share the freedom he sought. Yet I also looked forward to this chance to sit and listen to those whose knowledge I value highly.

Elladan throws off his robes as the door clicks shut. He stands unclothed as the garments pool about his feet. His arms stretched sky ward with a sharp intake of breath. He rolls his shoulders as the tension he has felt these last days drain from him. I see visibly his muscles relax. I step toward him. No matter the times I see him like this, standing like a sun kissed statue of old, muscles flexing over taunt skin, it never fails to leave my heart pounding and my body aroused. My arms wrap around his waist, he leans back a little into my arms, his cheek flush with mine.

"It went better than I had hoped,¨ he speaks softly, "I had so feared..........¨

"I know Elladan, I know.¨ I kiss his cheek as I turn my head to him. He concerns himself to the point of illness with me. I had felt the shudders at night as he fought against his dreaming, uncertain and unsure of what was to be this day. "It is done now, there are few who would not accept pure new life into this world, heedless to its origins.¨

In my embrace he looks to me, his hands splayed across my back.

"And as always you are right,¨ he grins to me.

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I have been granted leave to attend other duties as Elrohir goes to attend his. It has been rare these past days for us to spend so much time apart. I whisper to myself that it will not be for long and he will be glad of my company once the sun sets on the day.

We kiss before we leave our rooms. Those around us are well used to the small habits we have taken up of late. The soft touches, the whispered words. But we will not dishonour our father and his house before our guests. We will not give cause to those who would speak against us. We walk side by side, more different now than we would ever be again. Nodding to him, I take my leave to continue to the archery fields. There Glorfindel and I will train with the archers of Mirkwood. He is not excluded as I am not, it is that we are no diplomats, we will follow the course they decide for us. Not without question or debate among ourselves, but without the whys and wherefores that Elrohir and Ada now engage in.

I smile as our golden warrior joins me and we approach those assembled. There is an audible whisper among the company. All eyes turn to us, to Glorfindel. There is no doubt he commands respect by his very presence among them, he is strikingly beautiful, barely concealed power contained within his honed body. There are those who gaze at him most wantonly. I shake my head smiling at them. He who professes no skill will not destroy their dreams but will remain aloft to any overtures. He has long loved Ada, that has always been a constant as much as it has been that others desire him. I wonder for a moment if Ada saw as Elrohir and I did, I wonder what passed between them later when they went to their rooms, I wonder what passed between Thranduil and Glorfindel.

My attention is drawn to the present by a touch to my shoulder. Glorfindel smiles indulgently at me, not dissimilar to the face he would turn to me when I had left Elrohir to his studies when we were elflings and I conjured up his image in my mind to comfort me during the separation. I smile back, nodding my head. I do not have to think of Elrohir to know he is with me, do not need to summon an image, he is my constant.

The morning passes swiftly. There has been friendly rivalry between us, much debate on the merits of bow and arrow. I have with me my grandfather's gift and it causes a ripple of excitement when I consent to its use. Careful hands pass it from one to another, fingers tracing the design, murmurs of wonder at the weight of it, made as it is from wood that is unfamiliar to any who have not seen the Golden Wood. As time for the midday meal approaches our weapons are laid down. Food is brought to us as we are not expected at the house. I feel content among those who are my brothers in arms. We are much alike, our station in life is of no matter to them, only my skill as a warrior is judged, my ability to defend life and land more important than title. It is camaraderie that others who have not lived as we have would understand. Here there is honour for what you do, not who you are. Elrohir and I have understood that from our first hunt, sons of a lord are given no more that any other.

There is a murmur as we eat, still discussing the merits of each bow we have used. I look up to see a most familiar figure stride toward us. I rise to meet him, anxious, realizing though that he would not walk with such ease if there be something amiss. I glance back to the others still seated on the grass, their eyes now averted from us. Whether this is Glorfindel¡¦s doing or no bothers me not, nor does the silence.

Elrohir greets me warmly, hand clasped to my shoulder. He shrugs to my unasked question.

"It is a pleasant day to feel the breeze on my cheek and the sun at my back.¨

"How goes the council, " I ask with no feigned interest in the proceedings even if I have no desire to witness them first hand.

"They continue to debate over some minor point from past reckonings. I wished to see you and learn what entertains you this day.¨

He follows me to the gathering and sits down among us. Soon he too is gesturing animatedly on weaponry of the different ages. He is easily accepted because they recognize his knowledge and acknowledge his experience. At length, the simple meal complete Elrohir stands to leave, his hand on my shoulder, mine on his in brief farewell. We rise then, all of us to resume our trials.

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I turn to watch for a moment. Elladan stands with easy grace, making his way to where the bows have been laid. I see a group of Mirkwood's finest follow and gather around him. For a moment I wish to return, to lay a possessive hand on his shoulder, wrap an arm around his waist to leave them in no doubt that he is not for them. I know there is no temptation for my brother, his heart reaches out to me as his eyes catch mine where I stand.

//I love you// he whispers into my thoughts and I smile, raising my hand to him. I know he does, as I love him, but adoring eyes still regard him and the spark of jealousy that dwells forever within me flares into bright life.

//Fear not// I hear him say, the warmth of his voice touching the very fibre of my soul. //I am forever yours, from the moment we were granted life I have been yours//

I nod.

//They can offer me nothing that would touch our love, nothing that could compare to the love we share//

I smile. My brother would deny it, saying he speaks from his heart, but his words would rival the songmasters of old for me and they soothe my heart. Yet I know that my jealous heart lurks just below the surface. I have been forever watchful and wary of those who seek to lure Elladan from me. He beguiles without knowing, has others fall in love and scramble to be in his company. What I love in him so do others.

//They offer me nothing Elrohir, I am yours, I have always been//

His words echo through me once more. I know he looks to me.

//It is only you in my heart, only ever you I share a bed with. I love you Elrohir//

//And I love only you Elladan//

I come each day to share their meal, a respite from the endless round of debate. Every night Elladan and I speak of our day. He talks with such delight at the new ways he has learnt, his eyes gleam when he mentions one elf whose skill matches his determination to prove himself. I listen and I watch, envy and jealous grow once more, only to be put at ease when Elladan takes him in his arms and whispers his love and his need to be loved. How quickly we have slipped back into the familiar, comfortable in the roles mapped out for us since early times. Yet when the loving is complete and I lie in his arms as he sleeps, I cannot keep the thoughts away.

I see the way the young one looks to my brother, the way he smiles so delighted when my brother praises an effort, the sparkle in his eyes when my brother is close and the way his body responds when my brother touches an arm or shoulder. I know adoration and I know the beginnings of love. The young one holds both for my brother. And he is beautiful. I feel a chill about me as I watch. Elladan turns to me with a frown. He knows and he feels and he wishes it were not so, yet the same demons raise their head for him. It is my turn to frown when the young one touches Elladan's arm.


He kisses me once we have returned to our rooms as we prepare for the banquet. He smiles in appreciation as he watches me dress, his hand lingering over our sons small forms.

"You are so beautiful,¨ he whispers.

I glare at the star eyed one lights on Elladan as we arrive. I try to force myself to stay and not move on he places his hand on Elladan¡¦s back. I try not to follow them as he guides Elladan out into the quiet of the night on the balcony beyond the hall. I try not to allow my feet to move a pace closer to the edge of the light. I try not to lean closer as a small package is placed in Elladan¡¦s hand. I try not to see another's arms around my brother, I try to stifle my gasp as the young one lays his mouth on my brother¡¦s lips. I try not to listen as my brother steps a little away and begins to speak.

I try to close my eyes as my brother¡¦s hand cups the soft cheek of the untried youth in the palm of his hand. I try to turn away from the tender smile he gives the young one. But I cannot. I stay.

Then I smile as I hear his words. Tenderly he is telling him of his regard for him, thanks him for his gift, saying he will treasure it. He tells him that he knows what it is like to admire and think it love, and how he will be grateful for that honour. Yet he tells him also that he will find a love that is worthy of him, one who will return his love in full measure.

"For I cannot,¨ he says gently,¨ you know where my heart lies, it has been so since before we first drew breath together to enter this world.¡¨ He wipes a tear from that beautiful face, embracing him tightly before placing a chaste kiss on his brow. The young smiles through the crystal tears.

There is a voice behind them, a name hushed in question.

Elladan smiles. "Go to him,¨ he urges before turning to where I stand. He walks solemnly to me, his strong arms around my waist pulling me close.

"Did you doubt me?¨ he asks with less a question than a statement.

"No,¨ I lie, knowing he can see my heart. "He is beautiful.¨

"Yes,¨ my brother agrees.

We turn to the whispered voices. Elladan looks on with trepidation. Then a hand slips into another, a head is lay on a shoulder. Elladan turns to me.

"How quickly the young recover their hearts,¨ he muses as his eyes blaze on me. "I would not if you withdrew your love from me.¨

"You were kind to him,¨ I reply.

"I remember the wise words once offered to me, though I was not so bold in my declarations.¨

"Glorfindel.¨

He nods laughing. "Yes, he too was kind.¨

His hand caresses my cheek, a gesture not unlike yet far removed form the one made earlier to another.

"I had the other half of my heart with me all the time, I merely had to wait for him to see it too."

"He always knew," I reply, "he lacked the courage to tell you.¨

"You have never lacked courage Elrohir.¨ He kisses me before leading us back to the hall to wait until it is acceptable to leave to be alone.

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I lay with my head on Elrohir's lap, eyes closed. My cheek rests against his stomach and I can hear and feel the tiny life within. Elrohir reads to me, I listen more to the lilt of his voice than the words. There is no need for either of us to leave our garden this day. The council rests, after their deliberations for each party to seek their own council on the decisions soon to be made. Delegates and Warriors will mingle today within our boundaries.

I am aware that Elrohir has ceased his reading. I open my eyes questioningly, perhaps he thought me asleep. The book remins in his hands, his attention is elsewhere.

"Elrohir?¨

A shadow falls across us. I stiffen. There are not many who would approach us within our private place.

The light glistens off the streaming gold head. I sit up. Bowing my head in respect.

"Majesty,¨ both my brother and I respond.

Thranduil motions us to remain as we are. He folds his graceful legs to sit with us on the warm grass. He looks at the book Elrohir holds and smiles.

"We can learn much from the tales of old.¨ His fingers trace across a line, he mouths the words silently.

He looks up from the book to study first me and then Elrohir.

"The time comes soon?¨ he asks.

We both nod, Elrohir with a smile, I less so. The dreams of old have returned. I wake shivering, searching my hands for any trace of Elrohir¡'s blood on them.

"All is in readiness?¨

Elrohir nods alone while I look away. I cannot speak on this though I know fully what I must do. Elrohir brushes his hand over my hair to soothe me. He knows how it pains me to think on it and how it has triggered the darkness within me.

It is Elrohir then who talks for the most part. Answering the questions as best he may. He is vague as to the source of his knowledge, except to say he stumbled upon the answer to his quest and with the wizard's aid it was done.

Thranduil sits silent for moments, his gaze distant. He looks to us before he speaks again.

"It is truly a gift you bring to us.¨

Elrohir and I both smile broadly.

"You both have great courage and strength. And a great love. Little wonder you have been so blessed.¨ Once more he looks into the far distance, his brow furrowed as in remembering something long past.

"I wish you well.¨

He rises and we stand with him. His hand caresses my cheek softly, then kisses Elrohir's, holding us in his embrace. He slips a tiny package into my hand, his eyes bright as he looks to me.

"A gift also, for the life you bring to us.¨