Killing Beauty

Author's note: One must conclude that like King David, Haldir has time set aside for his females. It is also possible that one or two of them may have moved on. Ot he may have allowed two at a time in his talan. Also Ashva, if you notice, never goes there. And since it is possible to edit, I will go back and see if I can get the celebration a but smuttier. Isn't editing wonderful? Ah, perhaps we can look at tht possiblity.
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Ashva discovered that the routine of Lothlorien was slower, quieter for the most part then the world outside of the forest. There was time for art and music and gentle communion with nature, and if it weren't for occassional wild rides on the stallion and Haldir, she would have been bored to tears.

To satisfy that reckless part of her spirit, she took to watching the borders with Rumil and Orophin, which allowed her to see Haldir when he was on patrol. Always respectful of his position, she simply acted as if there was nothing between them unless he initiated it, which was rare on the fences...as it should be. Get preoccupied with personal matters and you might miss orcs trying to sneak into the woods.....or the wild geese flying southward in a midnight sky.

Rumil watched her stare skyward, trying to follow the flight of the geese. He could almost sense the longing in her to be with them. "Winter will be in the mountains soon," she commented softly when she noticed him watching her. She tried to act as if the geese had not affected her, but every so often she would gaze up into the sky as if her soul was being pulled that way. Sometimes, the way she stared northward, she reminded Rumil of her wolves sniffing the wind.

The next night two flocks passed overhead and Ashva stood to watch them. Under the pretense of admiring their majesty against the brilliant fire of heaven, she got Orophin to stand and watch with her, but Rumil was certain his brother was not planning an escape. When she looked down at him and smiled, unspoken words passed between them, and for the first time Rumil saw the battle raging in her eyes and heart. She stayed in the wood for one reason and one reason only. And Rumil wasn't so certain that reason would be strong enough to keep her.

When she finally reclined her back against the tree next to Rumil, he lowered his head and asked, "Do you plan on telling him?"

To have her greatest fear voiced, Ashva stared at Rumil and realized her next few words would decide if she stayed or left. "I'm a coward," she finally confessed.

He inclined his head and said no more.
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No greater demon ever tortured Ashva the way her heart's desires tortured her. When Lady Galadriel's swans left the river, no one paid attention to them. They had done that for centuries. It was apart of the cycle of Lothlorien. Only the trees and elves remained the same, remained constant. But Ashva ran after them as they beat their wings against the water and slowly rose higher and higher, their deep voices telling the elves that they would return in the spring. Ashva almost screamed Take Me With You! But in no way could she face Haldir and tell him she was leaving. He would never understand, never permit her to return to HIS woods; and in that sense it was killing a part of her soul to leave him, but the need to be gone was overwhelming. She was dying inside, day by day, piece by piece.

Unable to find peace in the Golden Woods anymore, she planned her ride out on a night that he would not see her. She even behaved during the day as if all things were normal and even had plans for the upcoming week. Only Rumil acted as if he knew what she was planning, but no words passed between them.

Waiting until all was dark and quiet, she and the wolves slipped through the sleeping city to the stable where Glider whickered softly, as if he knew he was a co-conspirator. Saddling him, her heart beating so fast she thought it would rip out of her breast, Ashva found her vision clouded by the hot tears that now burned her cheeks. How could she leave? How could she stay? Just let me die and be through with it, she thought as she leaned against the patient stallion. His head turn alerted her to company. Wiping her face, she looked around and groaned in misery. Haldir.

"Leaving?" he asked curiously, his manner most indifferent as he approached her. He had dressed in a hurry and was wearing only his leggings and a blanket over one shoulder. "I am not even entitled to a good-bye?" he asked and stopped in front of the stallion's stall. Max and Mani moved away from him, sensing the rage that was boiling just below his guarded surface.

"I did not think I could say it," she replied, unable to look at him for the tears that now burned her eyes.

"So you sneak off?" he accused her. "Haldir has no heart, he would not miss me. Is that what you thought?"

She dared to look up. There was anger in his eyes, but there was also great hurt. "I'm dying, Haldir. I have to get away," she miserably confessed. "And I did not think you would notice it if I slipped away."

"You did not think I would notice?" he asked in disbelief. "You did not think I would notice that the fire in my life has been extinguished?"

"I am nobody," she countered and squeezed her eyes shut. "Nothing." She felt the back of his hand caress her cheek.

"You are mine," he said.

Ashva looked up and saw such tenderness in his gaze that the misery in her heart only grew. How could she leave someone so beautiful...someone she loved. "Let me leave then," she whispered. "Let me go and return in the spring."

He frowned, but there was no anger in his eyes. "You would return?" he asked hesitantly.

"I can not stand the thought of never seeing you again...of not being able to touch you," she answered.

"If you had ridden out the way you planned, that most certainly would have happened," he responded passionately. "If I ask you not to go, would you stay?"

"I would still go," she replied sadly, "although I know I would be leaving my heart here."

This truthfully confused him. No one had ever confessed great love for him and then sought to leave. It made no sense to him. "Perhaps your heart is not involved," he said, very much wishing he could stop her.

"You had my heart the moment I witnessed your courage," she admitted with a sad smile. "And I will love you until I die."

He turned away. "Will you wait until morning?" he asked hopefully.

"Is there advantage to that?" she asked and tried to distract her heart by stroking the stallion's ebony neck.

"No advantage. I only desire your company one more time.....before you leave."

"That might be a mistake," she sighed and left the stallion's stall.

"It would be a worse mistake to deny me...if you mean to return in the spring," he warned.

Ashva stopped and dropped her head, a smile playing on her lips. All the misery she had been feeling was suddenly lifted from her mind and heart. "Are you letting me go?" she asked hopefully.

"Seems I have no choice, if I mean to keep you," he replied and turned back. She was smiling. What had changed? "Am I now amusing you?" he asked suspiciously.

"You always amuse me," she purred and wrapped her arms around his neck, finding his lips lowering to meet hers. Good thing he brought a blanket. Hay is itchy on naked skin. And its awful the way it clings to your hair. And why are parting fucks always the best?

AShva could not get enough of his mouth, and no matter how many times she drew the sweetness out of his body, he wanted more. He wanted to taste her, to fuck her, to make her beg. He wanted to hear his name on her lips. Ashva granted him those wishes, many times over. And she was rewarded with the best he had to offer....many times over.
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The sun was well in the sky when Ashva finished pulling the last of the hay out of her hair. Haldir was in his leggings reclining on their bed of hay giving her a smoldering look that just dared her to ride off and leave him. "Are you going to walk me out?" she asked curiously, almost afraid to keep looking at him. He rose gracefully in one smooth motion, something she had not been able to do when she stood to dress. Her legs had almost refused to support her, but then she suspected he had wanted to make sure when she bedded down tonight, she would remember what exactly it was that she had ridden away from.

Reluctantly accepting that he had to let her go, Haldir asked, "When can I expect you back?"

"First full moon of spring," she answered. Leading the stallion out of the barn, she walked beside Haldir up to the main path. There she stopped and mounted Glider. Mani and Max began their "oh boy we're leaving dance!"

Rumil appeared to make his good-byes, but ended up petting the wolves, as his brother and Ashva simply stared at each other for a moment. Finally Ashva said, "Rumil, I will see you in the spring."

"I look forward to it," he said and raised his hand to her. In it was an elven blade and scabbard. "Be safe."

"I'll bring you a nice fur," she promised and accepted his gift. She turned the stallion's head. He was starting to prance as he realized he was not going to be held back this time. Touching boots to his sides, she released her hold on his head. Glider stretched his legs and raced down the trail, his black mane and tail flowing behind him like heavy silk. Her own hair billowed like fire behind her.

Ashva briefly glimpsed The Lady of the Wood as she thundered down the trail. No doubt the conies in her garden would be happy to know the wolves were leaving as well. When she finally broke free of the forest, she yelped loudly and raced for home. The sadness she thought she would feel wasn't there. Spring would come soon enough.
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Rumil turned to his brother who was still staring after the departing woman. "I believe she will return," he told him.

Haldir looked at Rumil and then smiled. "I'm certain of it," he assured him. Then deciding that he needed to finish dressing, he rubbed his chest, noticed a bite mark, smiled and said, "I need to go up on the fences. Come with me."

"Boots might be in order," Rumil observed.

"A tunic also."