Vaniel, My Heart

Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. No monies are being made from this work. Original characters are part of the story and owned by the author.

Vaniel, My Heart
by Sienna Dawn


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 19 - The Plan

The days passed uneventfully as the company followed the South-North Road, pushing for the Fords of Isen and the Gap of Rohan.

As the days melted one into the other, so did the snow and ice. The company left the cold air of the Misty Mountains behind them and the winds began to blow with a lessening chill. Now, they began to meet up with other travelers, some of whom informed Elladan they too were heading for Minas Tirith. Passing small villages and townships, the company made it a habit of slowing down and at times mingling with the larger crowds.

Vaniel watched everything with a detached eye, seeing the world of Men for the first time; their ways and habits; their likes and dislikes. Some places were loud and crowded, while others tranquil and peaceful. In these quieter villages, Elladan usually stopped to take a meal or let the horses rest. Always did the men and women of these places stare at the elves of the company, not accustomed to visits from the Eldar.

Each night they stopped and broke camp, the cover of the woods now dwindling as they neared the Fords of Isen, and the land began growing rockier and mountainous. Meals were eaten quietly, Aladwyn preferring to spend her time with Elladan or her brother, while Eodwyn attempted to get closer to Vaniel by making banal talk. Usually, Vaniel responded with one word answers, hoping the man would understand she was not and would not encourage him toward a greater familiarity. But, it seemed that Eodwyn either did not or would not understand the meaning behind Vaniel 's frostiness, and so he took advantage at every opportunity to prattle ceaselessly while Vaniel put on her best face forward.

Haldir, Ramion and Nithoniel were keeping closer watch now, as they passed the southern borders of Moria where they knew Yrch and Goblins still were seen to pass silently on moonless nights. Usually, the three warriors huddled close whenever the company broke to rest or pass the night somewhere, their conversation muted and tense. Elladan himself had grown quieter, although the woman, Aladwyn, like her brother, seemed unmindful of the elves' nervousness as they passed unfriendly lands.

Vaniel had not had much contact with Haldir, a thing she hoped would aright itself. She noticed Haldir seemed to be avoiding her ever since they had last spoken alone, several nights before, while he stood watch. This had played into Eodwyn's hands, thrusting her into the man's company. Although Vaniel found Eodwyn entertaining and had come to regard the man as a friend, she still tried to make it clear to Eodwyn that it was Haldir's presence she sought. Yet Haldir seemed to be growing ever distant from her. This was a thing that had Vaniel both confused and worried. Still, Vaniel believed Haldir's behavior was in part influenced by the mounting tension in the company as they neared Yrch and Goblin lands.

As this state of affairs between Haldir and Vaniel continued unchanged, the company passed the Fords of Isen and continued onto the West Road, passing the Gap of Rohan while the midday sun shone its warmth upon them. Other travelers were now crowding the West Road, some dancing their way, while others rolled past in wooden wagons. Song and laughter was everywhere and even more travelers joined the revelry as they neared the Firien Wood.

And it was now Eodwyn who took Haldir's place, explaining all to Vaniel . His stories of men and their feats, or their misdeeds, often brought Vaniel close to tears, while at other times it was her merry laughter that graced a mild afternoon. She treated him with less iciness than she had in days past, a thing not lost on either Elladan or Eodwyn himself.

To all of this was Haldir a silent witness, and he was glad in his heart that Vaniel seemed to be developing a real affection for the Man. It would make things easier for her in the end. And so, he watched the couple, his own sorrow well disguised from everyone, save Elladan, who watched the unfolding events with growing unease.

Three days away from Minas Tirith now, deep in Anorien, and the company broke from the West Road and entered the outer fringes of the Firien Wood, there to rest and wait out the night.

As Vaniel spoke quietly with Nithoniel and Ramion, Haldir slipped away and followed Eodwyn who had left camp in search of firewood. He made sure the man did not know he was being tracked, not until Haldir decided the best approach to the idea that had taken form in his mind. Reaching out for a sturdy branch, Haldir leapt and was soon lost in the thick foliage of the Firien Wood, silently tracking the man below.

Below Haldir, Eodwyn searched carefully for the dry sticks that would burn with the least amount of smoke. As he leaned to pick up a medium-sized knotted branch, the hair on the back of his neck suddenly stood on end.

He was being tracked.

He was sure of it.

But by what? Friend or foe? Human or not?

Without betraying his growing caution, Eodwyn neatly placed the small stack of wood on the ground, feigning concern over a booted foot, while his free hand stole cautiously to his sword. Just as Eodwyn's sure fingers grasped and pulled the weapon, he twirled at the gentle displaced movement of air that softly fanned his neck. The sword, free of its scabbard, was held high aloft as Eodwyn was poised to cleave whatever stood in his way. But before he could execute a move in any direction, he found himself staring eye to eye with the silver point of an arrow inches away from his face.

And the man holding the arrow was no man, Eodwyn mused. It was Haldir. Sapphire-blue elven eyes coldy watched him.

Sighing and sheathing his sword, Eodwyn turned his back on the arrow which was still poised at his head, feigning a comfort and ease he did not feel. He was not used to being tracked so stealthily. He also knew that the elf had wanted him to know he was being tracked, otherwise Haldir could have continued to pursue him undetected. Eodwyn knew enough of elves to know they were only discovered when they chose to be. Thus, this meant the elf was tracking him for a reason,

Bending to pick up the cord of wood he had dropped, Eodwyn half turned and regarded the tall, blonde elf who had already lowered his weapon and slung his bow over his shoulders.

"What say thee, Haldir of Lorien? Is there a reason you track me?" Eodwyn threw some of the wood toward the elf, who caught it expertly, the fair elven face betraying no emotion. Haldir merely stared at the man, but did not respond. Eodwyn turned away from Haldir and resumed his search.

After a few silent moments, Eodwyn abruptly stopped and stared at Haldir. "Come, what is on your mind, Haldir of Lorien?"

He saw Haldir hesitate and then seem to make up his mind, "It is the Lady Vaniel , Eodwyn of Gondor. I wish to speak with you over this matter."

Eodwyn narrowed his eyes. He did not trust this elf. Nay, he did not trust most elves. There was always a condition behind their actions, always something hidden. Always a mystery. And this elf was no exception, he could feel that.

But because the Lady Vaniel interested him, Eodwyn decided to hear Haldir out. Waiting for Haldir, he raised his brows quizzically.

Not sure what to expect from the man, Haldir began, "After the company arrives in Minas Tirith, I must return to East Lorien, for duties there await my attention."

Haldir watched Edowyn carefully. He loathed the words coming from his lips, but there was no other choice.

"I will be gone over the Spring and possibly Summer as well." He saw Eodwyn's eyes begin to take on the light of understanding. How he loathed himself for this! But he continued, "I am aware that the Lady Vaniel interests you, Eodwyn of Gondor," Haldir saw Eodwyn's slow nod. "and I would entrust her to your care while gone I am from your fair city."

Haldir's gaze locked onto Eodwyn's face, watching the man's unfolding emotions, displayed openly on his face. Centuries of battle had taught Haldir how to read and interpret body movements, and he used this expertise now, to size up Eodwyn and his true intentions toward Vaniel . If the man showed but one breath of dishonor, he would take Vaniel from Gondor and never would the man set eyes on her! And so, he watched Eodwyn carefully as the man thought and formed his response.

When Eodwyn spoke, he kept his voice even, for the elf's words made no sense to him, "I am much honored you place the Lady's welfare in my hands." He approached Haldir and laid one hand on the elf's shoulder. "But know you this, elf. I mean to take the Lady as wife and so she will be protected. Yet I know she is your kin. Give you your bond that I may pursue this path, free of interference from you or any elven kindred?"

Haldir realized his mistake at once. Eodwyn thought he was turning Vaniel over to him as troth in marriage! Quickly he attemped to explain himself, "Nay, Eodwyn. You mistake my words. I cannot give this pledge."

"I mistook your words, say you?" Eodwyn's rich baritone was soft, "Are you not the oldest of her kin? And are not Elvish customs made so that the kin of those to be betrothed agree to the bond between the couple?" Eodwyn's body tensed. He did not like the look on Haldir's face.

Haldir studied the man for a moment before responding, "Yes, this is our custom. But this was not what I meant to convey." Haldir's face was growing darker as he spoke as he realized that Eodwyn had assumed a great many things.

"I wished for you to keep watch over her safety while I was gone from Gondor." Haldir explained, "Yet, now you speak of marriage."

Eodwyn's face took on a near belligerent stare which was not lost on Haldir. "Do you deny me?" His voice, while soft, carried an undertone of threat.

Haldir resisted the urge to thrash the man right then and there, instead reminding himself that this man was but a child compared in years to him. And so he shook his head slowly, "Nay, I neither deny or consent, for that is not within my power."

Haldir saw Eodwyn's stance relax somewhat and so he continued, "It is also our custom that both persons come willingly to the marriage. I cannot give you the Lady in troth for she is not mine to give. Have you sought out Vaniel 's mind on this?" Haldir kept his voice even and devoid of emotion, glad that the eyes of Men were blind to many things, or else Eodwyn would have seen Haldir's pain as he voiced the question.

The tense moment passed and Haldir saw the man's eyes flicker away from him.

Eodwyn rubbed his smooth face, and bent down to pick up another piece of wood. "Nay, this I have not done." He turned to look at Haldir and then walked a few paces away for another piece of wood which he again threw in Haldir's direction with a little more force than necessary.

Haldir caught the heavy piece of wood without trouble and he stared at the man. "Then, Eodwyn of Gondor, if you wish to marry the Lady Vaniel , perhaps you should seek out her mind in the matter, do you not think so?"

Eodwyn agreed and nodded, and yet a thought came to mind and he blurted out the words before he could think it through, "But is the Lady Vaniel not half-elven, Haldir?" Green eyes narrowed.

"Yes," replied Haldir, looking away from the man who was searching about for more wood, afraid that the intense agony he was beginning to feel would be detected. "She is. Yet she was raised in Imladris and knows little of the ways of Men." At this Haldir looked at Eodwyn. He'd had enough of this verbal sparring with the man.

"If your intent is to make Vaniel wife to you, then you must ask her, for I cannot make this decision for her. Still, I am bound by oath to her Mother that she will be safe no matter where she goes. Yet, I must escort Elladan while he meets with King Elessar. This means Vaniel shall be unattended, for I cannot be in two places at once. Will you give your word and bond she will be safe in your city?" Haldir's eyes watched Eodwyn carefully, knowing he could judge the truth of Eodwyn's words from the man's voice and body movements.

Eodwyn met Haldir's intense gaze fearlessly, "Aye, Haldir, that I swear. Vaniel will be safe for as long as she dwells in Gondor. But I warn you, I will do everything possible to woo her away from your influence." Eodwyn's green eyes met Haldir's, and there Haldir saw that the man meant every word he had said. Already pain was beginning to settle into his heart, and with a nod of gratitude he thanked Eodwyn.

"This I accept, Eodwyn of Gondor, and thank you for your word oath to protect Vaniel . 'Twill make departing from her easier to bear." Without another word, Haldir turned and carried the wood in his arms back to the camp.

Behind Haldir followed Edowyn, a strange look of pity and victory on his face.

When Haldir arrived at camp, he deposited the wood in his arms near the fire Ramion had built and then stalked away, into the cover of deep woods, where he could compose himself. He had seen Vaniel 's eyes follow him with longing and growing confusion but he could not speak to her, not yet, while the pain was still so fresh in his heart.

Nearing a rotten clump of fig trees, Haldir stopped for a moment, attempting to gain his composure, fighting the urge to return to camp and undo the bargain he had made with Eodwyn. In his heart he thought that he had done the best thing for Vaniel , placing her in the man's care. He did not think Eodwyn would go back on his oath, for he well knew that if he did, Haldir would soon seek him out.

Still, Haldir felt empty, angry at himself, angry at his inability to stop himself from wanting a thing he could never have. "And what of Vaniel ?" his mind asked.

She would be happier in the city of Men, the bright colors of their banners and their buildings of gleaming white stone. She would come to accept this place and perhaps, if the Valar were kind, she could come to love Eodwyn and be wife to him.

This last thought tormented Haldir and he drove his fist into the gnarled tree, unmindful of the splinters driven deep into his hand. The pain kept him from weeping, from touching his misery. Yet, his mind betrayed him, taunting him, showing him images of Eodwyn taking Vaniel , making her his. Haldir groaned aloud in deep misery and sat down on the moist earth, his head in his hands, while he silently asked the Valar to show him a sign that this was indeed the right decision. But from the Valar no answer came.

For long hours, did Haldir walk alone, in his thoughts tormented by the loss of the one elleth he had given his heart to, not knowing how else to bring her to a path of happiness and not doom.

In his mind and heart Haldir truly believed that with him Vaniel would be damned but with the man she could have a chance at happiness. He knew he should feel relief, but why did he instead feel so uneasy, so empty, so tormented?

Back in camp, Vaniel 's eyes had followed Haldir when he had disappeared into the woods. Rising to go after him, she was intercepted by Eodwyn, who soon cajoled her into telling the company one of the many stories her Mother had taught her. But although she spoke from rote, her mind was busy at work, wondering what kept Haldir away from them.

Deep in the wood, Haldir sat and contemplated the stars, not certain if he had made the right decision.

Later that night, while the company slept, Vaniel was still awake and knew that Haldir had not returned to camp. She had assumed that he and the others were standing guard and had not thought Haldir's absence significant, until she realized he had not returned for the evening meal. It was at this moment that Vaniel realized something troubled Haldir and she decided to seek him out later.

When the moon was finally at its highest, Vaniel quietly stole away from camp, while the others slept. She followed the same route she had seen Haldir take earlier and came upon a deep expanse of woods, where trunks and branches entwined and embraced, making it difficult for her to follow his tracks. A thick white mist rose from the ground, covering everything in its path, the light of the moon above twisted into menacing shapes and forms. Vaniel walked carefully, her eyes darting from frond to branch, trying to pick up Haldir's tracks. But, she knew that when he really put his mind to it, tracking him was near impossible. Around her came the soft calls of the loon birds, as they nested close by somewhere, crickets sang their songs and cicadas watched her as she passed. All seemed undisturbed in the woods as if no presence had graced it, yet she knew this was also an elven skill: to pass undetected even by the creatures of the world.

Winding about the old forest, Vaniel was about to give up and head back to camp, when she heard a soft footfall and she turned abruptly. She had half-expected to see Haldir drop down from one of the higher peaks but instead was stunned to find Eodwyn close behind her.

Startled, she frowned, "What are you doing here?" Vaniel demanded, not too happy to have been followed herself.

Eodwyn swung the low torch he carried and fixed Vaniel with a strange stare, "I would ask you the same, my Lady." His voice carried in the quiet wood.

"Where I go should be of little importance to you, Eodwyn of Gondor!" Vaniel exclaimed, fixing the man with her golden eyes. "And careful where you swing that torch for this wood is dry in places and may burn."

But Eodwyn was not so easily fooled, and he decided to let Vaniel know. Donning his most innocent expressions, he lied, "If mayhap you seek Haldir of Lorien, I believe he has been tracking North of this camp, yonder," he pointed toward an area where the moon's light showed to be a dense thicket.

Vaniel's gaze rested on the place where Eodwyn indicated before turning to look into his face. She saw there a naked hunger that she did not like and suddenly felt very defenseless.

Turning on her heel, without a word to Eodwyn, she began walking back to camp, hearing Eodwyn's laughter as it drifted in the wind. She realized for the first time that Eodwyn addressed her with a sense of ownership, as if he had a right to speak to her thusly. She wondered how much of that was fancy on Eodwyn's part and how much had to do with Haldir.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~