Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,490
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,490
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
1-point-2
I realise that there is more commentary than actual story, but I don't care. I was in a mood for some Orlegolas, and here it is. The story is just stupid anyway. So hurrah for the Seksay Humour.
And so we resume "Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff," starring Orlando Bloom and Legolas Thranduilion, who are blissfully unaware that we are watching them fuck like bunnies on the theatre floor. Or they were, at any rate.
Orlando: Ever get -uh- the feeling -uh- you're being -uh- watched?
Legolas: It's -uh- just -uh- SugaryLime -uh-. Don't -uh- stop.
Half an hour later, when the moaning and panting has ceased . . .
//
Dreams were horrid, odd, but when she thought over them, she had never dream of Aragron when these feelings had took wing in the pits of her heart for him.
//
Legolas: Aragorn ought to be relieved that she isn't dreaming of *him*.
Orlando: Almost makes me feel sorry for Aragron though. Poor bastard.
//
This was different, they were different in which to a point they felt so real...many dreams had she of the elf Prince. Many in which she could feel, but they were just dreams, dreams where never real...life, and love was never real to her for it also did the same thing to her. It always a one way thing for her, always something in which she only felt, she always only felt the love.
//
Legolas: What the fuck? This making any sense to you, pretty boy?
Orlando: Nope. And you really think I'm pretty?
Legolas: The prettiest. I mean, yeah, you're not too bad for a human.
//
Aon pon proof, and a fresh scar to her pride as he left her standing that day, left her to return to Arwen, she wanted to meet her Arwen.
//
Orlando: [laughing til Coke comes out his nose]
Legolas: I know! It's just so- so not right.
//
She wanted to look upon the face of the woman that held the heart of yet another man she only love, and had her heart torn from. She wanted to tell her how lucky she was to have such a love, a love in which she could only dream. But ever chance she had of seeing the princess, she was torn to another thing to do.
//
Legolas: So when did Aragorn, or Aragron in this case, have the time to go back to Arwen? I guess I just don't understand the timeline.
Orlando: Remember, this one didn't read the books or see the second movie, so she's just making it up as she goes. Which reminds me. . .
Legolas: What?
Orlando: [pokes Legolas in ribs] Tig.
Legolas: I don't get it.
Orlando: [sighs] Never mind. Just proving that SugaryLime has the extended DVD of "˜Fellowship' and, therefore, has the right to write fan fiction.
Legolas: Yes, but has she read the books?
SugaryLime: Duh. I'm a Dorky Girlâ„¢. Of course I have. Now shut it and get back to the story.
Orlando: You're writing it.
SugaryLime: [blushes] Oh yeah.
//
" Mi'lady," her head shifted from the mirror before her to the tall elf whom stood before her door, her eyes wide in shock and wonder, if it was another dream. If he had come to sweep her off her feet and lay her upon the smooths of her ruffled bed sheets and make love to her till another day came.
//
Legolas: So, basically she thinks I'm there to shag her all the bloody night, then?
Orlando: If only she knew you were a gay Elf who only bottoms . . .
Legolas: Been talking to Liam, have you?
Orlando: That, and we've been fucking all day, so I figured it out for myself.
//
" Mi'lord.." she breathed, as her eyes gazed upon the rigid elf, she risen from her seat but froze as legolas shook his head softly and informed her to stay still.
//
Orlando: [looks at Legolas] Yep, you're rigid alright.
Legolas: Care to do something about that?
Orlando: [shakes his head softly]
Legolas: Bastard.
//
" Ambush," he whispered, " hurry and grab a pair of clothing I and you are the last left, only a few other's escape you must hurry, we well leave now. Mi'lady."
//
Legolas: What hell is going on? I am so confused. Rohan was ambushed *after* Helm's Deep? And we're there?
Orlando: Helm's *Death*. Get it right.
Legolas: And her clothes are so important that she should take them with her when fleeing for her life?
Orlando: You ask too many questions. [shuts Legolas up by sticking his tongue down his throat]
Legolas: [pushing Orlando away] Eh, SugaryLime? Care to sort out that mess of poorly referenced pronouns?
SugaryLime: Orlando, stick *your* tongue down *Legolas'* throat and shut him up. Better?
Legolas: Mmm Hmm.
//
She nodded, and quickly rushed to her closet tearing off the rack the nearest clothing and shoe that she could find and hurried over to legolas. She was still very much unsure, was she still in a dream? Was this the part he rescued her again, and than make love to her? Oh, let it be was he only wish.
//
Legolas: Because I often appear in Lesbian Shield Maidens' dreams to tell them to pack up their clothes so I can fuck them. Right.
Orlando: Whoever told this bint she possessed any writing skill whatsoever ought to be publicly executed.
Legolas: [hops over to fanfiction.net and looks at reviews] Nope, none of these people.
Orlando: Damn, and I was *so* hoping to watch you shoot them, you Seksay Archer Boi you.
Legolas: You can watch me practise later.
Orlando: Oh yes, yes I will. Guh.
//
He grasped her slender wrist, and for the first time she let her self be weak...for only a moment she let him lead, he pulled her frame to his and ran, and leaped from the window of her room. She perked an eye open as the landed on the floor outside her window, " Mi' lady, I'll explain everything later. No, barking back now please...for we must get away from here."
//
Legolas: So Eowyn's been upgraded from otter to seal? Cool. Still fishy, but cool.
//
Her tongue wanted to lash at his comment, but she bit back all comments she'd wait...she knew now it wasn't a dream, she knew she needed to listen if she wanted to live. She however pulled out of his grasp both wrist and semi-embrace, and he nodded and than turn and took to running and she followed behind.
//
Orlando: [as Eowyn's tongue] Just. . .want. . .to. . .lash. . .
Legolas: [as Orlando's tongue] Just. . .want. . .to. . .lick. . .Legolas'. . .toes. . .
Orlando: Ehm, no. Sorry mate, no toes.
Legolas: You'll eat my arse, but you won't lick my toes? What the fuck.
Orlando: SugaryLime's not got a foot fetish. She's got a Dirty Rimming Fetish. Try HornyBones two theatres over. Or is it CaptainObvious? I can never remember who's who.
//
" Hurry, Mi'lady," he rasped, arrows begun rain like a rain shower, one after the other not stopping, Legolas made sure to look behind ever so often. " A little futh-"
//
Legolas: Nice metaphor. "˜Arrows begun to rain like a rain shower.' Creative, that. Bet she got high marks in her creative writing classes.
Orlando: How kind it was of you to look behind you ever sten.ten.
Legolas: Pure chivalry, that's me.
//
" Prince Legolas!" she stumbled, an arrow ripping through the flesh of her back, Legolas turned quickly on foot and picked up the injured maiden.
//
Legolas: I turned on foot? Was I previously mounted?
Orlando: [laughs uncontrollably] Yes you were.
Legolas: What?
Orlando: Mounted. . .you said-
Legolas: *On horseback*, you pervy bastard.
Orlando: Still, I mean, you left that one wide open.
//
He would have to ride her of the arrow later,
//
Legolas: I am *not* riding Eowyn. I'm just not. Of the arrow or otherwise.
Orlando: Relax, man. SugaryLime would never let you do het. She'd rather watch you ride me.
SugaryLime: Yup. Now get to it. [tosses Orli a tube of AstroGlide]
Legolas: [takes lube from Orlando] Let me.
Orlando: Oh Good Christ.
Legolas: [lubes up Orlando and slides s-l-o-w-l-y down onto him, facing opposite] Mmm, yeah.
Orlando: [grabs Legolas' hips and helps him with the whole up-and-down thing] You like that, huh? You like when I fuck you like that?
Legolas: [no longer possesses ability for coherent speech]
SugaryLime: *I* like it when you fuck him like that. But I think he needs it harder.
Legolas: Gah!
Orlando: Right. Hands and knees, Elfboy.
Legolas: [gets andsands and knees]
Orlando: [pounds Legolas into the next Age]
SugaryLime: I'd hate to be the poor sod who's gotta clean this theatre tonight. Eww.
//
right now he needed to get to his horse, within a matter of minutes he had come to his destination and rested Eowyn on the horse, and climb up on the horse Seattle,
//
Orlando: Why is your horse named after a seaport in the American Northwest?
Legolas: I'll get back to you on that. I'm not even sure I could tell you my own name at the present.
Orlando: You could be a hetfic author!
Legolas: Ugh.
//
pulling the arrow free from Eowyn, he motion for the horse to take off. Within moments, horse of the attackers were on their trail, Legolas pulled an arrow from his back and ready it in his bow and shot one after the other taking down one horsed solider after the other.
//
Legolas: So I just yanked the arrow out of Eowyn's body? Doesn't this author realise how not right that is? Has she never seen an arrow? They're barbed, for Elbereth's sake!
Orlando: I'd be more concerned with the arrows you're pulling out of your own back if I were you. But I am getting excited over your Marvellous Archery Skills.
Legolas: Again?!? As it is, I won't be able to sit right for a week!
Orlando: You know, *you* could always fuck *me*.
Legolas: But I-
Orlando: [sighs] I know, I know. You always bottom.
//
" Prin-" His rain of retaliation stop as he heard her horsed voice, he needed to sooth her his horse could take care of escape, he drew her to him.
//
Legolas: Ehm, is Eowyn even *human* in this story? One minute she's an otter, then she's barking, now she's got a horse voice. I'm truly confused.
Orlando: At least your horse can handle the travel arrangements. Making airline reservations as we speak.
//
" Mi'lady...be calm, you will not die, I will get us out of here," he whispered into her ear, their trailers seemed to fall back one after the other till no more where left. " You will be fine," he whispered soothingly.
//
Legolas: Well, after I ripped an arrow from her back she should be bleeding quite profusely. I'm surprised she's still conscious.
Orlando: Oh well. At least it's over now. Wanna grab something to eat?
Legolas: Sure. [drops to knees in front of Orlando and starts sucking]
//
A/N: Okay, I'm stopping there. If I get some reviews, than I'll continue it's all up to you weather I continue or not.
//
SugaryLime: I can't bear to interrupt such a sweet scene, so I'll wrap this up myself. There's a bit of a chapter two that's been written, but I don't think I'll mess with that for awhile. Cheers!
And so we resume "Rough Surfaces That Reflect Stuff," starring Orlando Bloom and Legolas Thranduilion, who are blissfully unaware that we are watching them fuck like bunnies on the theatre floor. Or they were, at any rate.
Orlando: Ever get -uh- the feeling -uh- you're being -uh- watched?
Legolas: It's -uh- just -uh- SugaryLime -uh-. Don't -uh- stop.
Half an hour later, when the moaning and panting has ceased . . .
//
Dreams were horrid, odd, but when she thought over them, she had never dream of Aragron when these feelings had took wing in the pits of her heart for him.
//
Legolas: Aragorn ought to be relieved that she isn't dreaming of *him*.
Orlando: Almost makes me feel sorry for Aragron though. Poor bastard.
//
This was different, they were different in which to a point they felt so real...many dreams had she of the elf Prince. Many in which she could feel, but they were just dreams, dreams where never real...life, and love was never real to her for it also did the same thing to her. It always a one way thing for her, always something in which she only felt, she always only felt the love.
//
Legolas: What the fuck? This making any sense to you, pretty boy?
Orlando: Nope. And you really think I'm pretty?
Legolas: The prettiest. I mean, yeah, you're not too bad for a human.
//
Aon pon proof, and a fresh scar to her pride as he left her standing that day, left her to return to Arwen, she wanted to meet her Arwen.
//
Orlando: [laughing til Coke comes out his nose]
Legolas: I know! It's just so- so not right.
//
She wanted to look upon the face of the woman that held the heart of yet another man she only love, and had her heart torn from. She wanted to tell her how lucky she was to have such a love, a love in which she could only dream. But ever chance she had of seeing the princess, she was torn to another thing to do.
//
Legolas: So when did Aragorn, or Aragron in this case, have the time to go back to Arwen? I guess I just don't understand the timeline.
Orlando: Remember, this one didn't read the books or see the second movie, so she's just making it up as she goes. Which reminds me. . .
Legolas: What?
Orlando: [pokes Legolas in ribs] Tig.
Legolas: I don't get it.
Orlando: [sighs] Never mind. Just proving that SugaryLime has the extended DVD of "˜Fellowship' and, therefore, has the right to write fan fiction.
Legolas: Yes, but has she read the books?
SugaryLime: Duh. I'm a Dorky Girlâ„¢. Of course I have. Now shut it and get back to the story.
Orlando: You're writing it.
SugaryLime: [blushes] Oh yeah.
//
" Mi'lady," her head shifted from the mirror before her to the tall elf whom stood before her door, her eyes wide in shock and wonder, if it was another dream. If he had come to sweep her off her feet and lay her upon the smooths of her ruffled bed sheets and make love to her till another day came.
//
Legolas: So, basically she thinks I'm there to shag her all the bloody night, then?
Orlando: If only she knew you were a gay Elf who only bottoms . . .
Legolas: Been talking to Liam, have you?
Orlando: That, and we've been fucking all day, so I figured it out for myself.
//
" Mi'lord.." she breathed, as her eyes gazed upon the rigid elf, she risen from her seat but froze as legolas shook his head softly and informed her to stay still.
//
Orlando: [looks at Legolas] Yep, you're rigid alright.
Legolas: Care to do something about that?
Orlando: [shakes his head softly]
Legolas: Bastard.
//
" Ambush," he whispered, " hurry and grab a pair of clothing I and you are the last left, only a few other's escape you must hurry, we well leave now. Mi'lady."
//
Legolas: What hell is going on? I am so confused. Rohan was ambushed *after* Helm's Deep? And we're there?
Orlando: Helm's *Death*. Get it right.
Legolas: And her clothes are so important that she should take them with her when fleeing for her life?
Orlando: You ask too many questions. [shuts Legolas up by sticking his tongue down his throat]
Legolas: [pushing Orlando away] Eh, SugaryLime? Care to sort out that mess of poorly referenced pronouns?
SugaryLime: Orlando, stick *your* tongue down *Legolas'* throat and shut him up. Better?
Legolas: Mmm Hmm.
//
She nodded, and quickly rushed to her closet tearing off the rack the nearest clothing and shoe that she could find and hurried over to legolas. She was still very much unsure, was she still in a dream? Was this the part he rescued her again, and than make love to her? Oh, let it be was he only wish.
//
Legolas: Because I often appear in Lesbian Shield Maidens' dreams to tell them to pack up their clothes so I can fuck them. Right.
Orlando: Whoever told this bint she possessed any writing skill whatsoever ought to be publicly executed.
Legolas: [hops over to fanfiction.net and looks at reviews] Nope, none of these people.
Orlando: Damn, and I was *so* hoping to watch you shoot them, you Seksay Archer Boi you.
Legolas: You can watch me practise later.
Orlando: Oh yes, yes I will. Guh.
//
He grasped her slender wrist, and for the first time she let her self be weak...for only a moment she let him lead, he pulled her frame to his and ran, and leaped from the window of her room. She perked an eye open as the landed on the floor outside her window, " Mi' lady, I'll explain everything later. No, barking back now please...for we must get away from here."
//
Legolas: So Eowyn's been upgraded from otter to seal? Cool. Still fishy, but cool.
//
Her tongue wanted to lash at his comment, but she bit back all comments she'd wait...she knew now it wasn't a dream, she knew she needed to listen if she wanted to live. She however pulled out of his grasp both wrist and semi-embrace, and he nodded and than turn and took to running and she followed behind.
//
Orlando: [as Eowyn's tongue] Just. . .want. . .to. . .lash. . .
Legolas: [as Orlando's tongue] Just. . .want. . .to. . .lick. . .Legolas'. . .toes. . .
Orlando: Ehm, no. Sorry mate, no toes.
Legolas: You'll eat my arse, but you won't lick my toes? What the fuck.
Orlando: SugaryLime's not got a foot fetish. She's got a Dirty Rimming Fetish. Try HornyBones two theatres over. Or is it CaptainObvious? I can never remember who's who.
//
" Hurry, Mi'lady," he rasped, arrows begun rain like a rain shower, one after the other not stopping, Legolas made sure to look behind ever so often. " A little futh-"
//
Legolas: Nice metaphor. "˜Arrows begun to rain like a rain shower.' Creative, that. Bet she got high marks in her creative writing classes.
Orlando: How kind it was of you to look behind you ever sten.ten.
Legolas: Pure chivalry, that's me.
//
" Prince Legolas!" she stumbled, an arrow ripping through the flesh of her back, Legolas turned quickly on foot and picked up the injured maiden.
//
Legolas: I turned on foot? Was I previously mounted?
Orlando: [laughs uncontrollably] Yes you were.
Legolas: What?
Orlando: Mounted. . .you said-
Legolas: *On horseback*, you pervy bastard.
Orlando: Still, I mean, you left that one wide open.
//
He would have to ride her of the arrow later,
//
Legolas: I am *not* riding Eowyn. I'm just not. Of the arrow or otherwise.
Orlando: Relax, man. SugaryLime would never let you do het. She'd rather watch you ride me.
SugaryLime: Yup. Now get to it. [tosses Orli a tube of AstroGlide]
Legolas: [takes lube from Orlando] Let me.
Orlando: Oh Good Christ.
Legolas: [lubes up Orlando and slides s-l-o-w-l-y down onto him, facing opposite] Mmm, yeah.
Orlando: [grabs Legolas' hips and helps him with the whole up-and-down thing] You like that, huh? You like when I fuck you like that?
Legolas: [no longer possesses ability for coherent speech]
SugaryLime: *I* like it when you fuck him like that. But I think he needs it harder.
Legolas: Gah!
Orlando: Right. Hands and knees, Elfboy.
Legolas: [gets andsands and knees]
Orlando: [pounds Legolas into the next Age]
SugaryLime: I'd hate to be the poor sod who's gotta clean this theatre tonight. Eww.
//
right now he needed to get to his horse, within a matter of minutes he had come to his destination and rested Eowyn on the horse, and climb up on the horse Seattle,
//
Orlando: Why is your horse named after a seaport in the American Northwest?
Legolas: I'll get back to you on that. I'm not even sure I could tell you my own name at the present.
Orlando: You could be a hetfic author!
Legolas: Ugh.
//
pulling the arrow free from Eowyn, he motion for the horse to take off. Within moments, horse of the attackers were on their trail, Legolas pulled an arrow from his back and ready it in his bow and shot one after the other taking down one horsed solider after the other.
//
Legolas: So I just yanked the arrow out of Eowyn's body? Doesn't this author realise how not right that is? Has she never seen an arrow? They're barbed, for Elbereth's sake!
Orlando: I'd be more concerned with the arrows you're pulling out of your own back if I were you. But I am getting excited over your Marvellous Archery Skills.
Legolas: Again?!? As it is, I won't be able to sit right for a week!
Orlando: You know, *you* could always fuck *me*.
Legolas: But I-
Orlando: [sighs] I know, I know. You always bottom.
//
" Prin-" His rain of retaliation stop as he heard her horsed voice, he needed to sooth her his horse could take care of escape, he drew her to him.
//
Legolas: Ehm, is Eowyn even *human* in this story? One minute she's an otter, then she's barking, now she's got a horse voice. I'm truly confused.
Orlando: At least your horse can handle the travel arrangements. Making airline reservations as we speak.
//
" Mi'lady...be calm, you will not die, I will get us out of here," he whispered into her ear, their trailers seemed to fall back one after the other till no more where left. " You will be fine," he whispered soothingly.
//
Legolas: Well, after I ripped an arrow from her back she should be bleeding quite profusely. I'm surprised she's still conscious.
Orlando: Oh well. At least it's over now. Wanna grab something to eat?
Legolas: Sure. [drops to knees in front of Orlando and starts sucking]
//
A/N: Okay, I'm stopping there. If I get some reviews, than I'll continue it's all up to you weather I continue or not.
//
SugaryLime: I can't bear to interrupt such a sweet scene, so I'll wrap this up myself. There's a bit of a chapter two that's been written, but I don't think I'll mess with that for awhile. Cheers!