An uir

Glorfindel felt Erestor stiffen, and looked at him with concern. He was startled at seeing how pale Erestor had become. It seemed that his suspicions had been true. It really was Elrond who caused Erestor’s distress. Glorfindel saw how the Lord’s eyes were cold as steel. And again he thought what was the reason behind such hatred.



“If you could bother, the Councils’ meeting is beginning. And if I can suggest, you two should take care for your... little affair in your spare time”, Elrond required bluntly.



Erestor stared Elrond in disbelief, like he had ever seen him before. This was too much.



How Elrond dare to talk to him like that, like he was some common harlot!



When he slowly started to recover from his Lord’s outburst, he knew exactly what to do.



“I must apologize, Híren, (my Lord) for my blindness. I didn’t realize the loathing of yours towards me ran that deep. I can assure that I’m going to correct this unfortunate situation as soon as possible. I only ask for a few days time to settle the things and after that you don’t have bear my presence anymore. I think it is best that I go to my rooms now. I have much packing to do.”



Erestor wondered to himself how his voice was steady and calm, while his core wept. But there was anything left. He would go, as soon as possible.



Glorfindel and Elrond were stunned by Erestor’s words that they let him go. The former Councilor felt a desperate need to get into his rooms immediately. There he could be safe, and though it was only a temporary safe haven for now. But he had to go. Anywhere was a better place to be then here. As if in a dream he walked, but never did reach his destination. He was at corridor, near his rooms when he suddenly felt his world swaying. And that was the last thing he remembered before everything went black.





*****************************************************************************************************************************





“What in Arda he has done to you, to deserve that kind of treatment Elrond? And how you dare to accuse us of inappropriate behavior! For Valars’ sake, he is my bonded mate’s little brother! He is only the only one I have left from my family and I love him like my own flesh and blood. And I won’t let anybody to talk him like that. Erestor is noble, honorable and a beautiful elf, and he deserves more respect than that”, Glorfindel shouted furiously to Elrond. He has never talked to his Lord this way, but Elrond’s words were nothing but outrageous. Glorfindel noticed that The Lord was so stunned that he couldn’t answer. He tried to calm down and continued, with a more composed tone.



“If you really succeed to drive him away, know that I’m going with him, Híren. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m now going to check if Erestor is all right.”



Glorfindel didn’t stop to hear Elrond’s possible objections, but left making his way toward Erestor’s chambers.



He had not notice how Elrond dropped his head, and started to weep silently.



When Glorfindel turned around the corner, his heart almost stopped. Erestor lay unconscious on the floor, and in front of his chambers’ door. Glorfindel kneeled beside him and lifted him into his arms, and starting to make his way back to Elrond. He had to seek the Lord for a while, before he found him. Glorfindel didn’t paid any attention Elrond’s crestfallen substance, but said:



“Look, what you have done to him! The least you can do now, is to help him. And I don’t want to hear any objections! I don’t care how much you hate him. It’s your duty to do something. You are the healer, after all!”



“I... I’m sorry. I don’t hate him. It’s just... I didn’t want anything like this to happen to him”, Elrond whispered with a saddened tone. He was grateful that Glorfindel didn’t say anything though for surely he had seen his tears. He had requested Glorfindel to carry Erestor to the healing wing. It would be the best place to examine him. Glorfindel didn’t say anything, and they started to walk with uneasy silence between them.



“I have been so cruel to him, and I realize it now. My actions were nothing short but abuse towards him! How could I do that? Why, why was I so selfish that I abandoned him like that, only to protect myself? And worst of all, I made him pay for my own guilt!



I broke his heart and didn’t realize that my own heart would also break beyond repair. There is nothing left anymore. He hates me now, and it is only my fault. But there is still something I can do. I owe him but proper apologizing, also the truth. He must know why he had to bear my rudeness.”



When they reached their destination, Glorfindel lowered Erestor on the bed. Elrond examined him quickly, and sighed in relief.



“He will be all right. He is just exhausted, but will awake soon. Though, I must admit that is isn’t for my credit. I’m very sorry for my words earlier, Glorfindel. I shouldn’t speak so rudely to you.”



Glorfindel watched Elrond carefully before answering. He wasn’t quite ready to buy the Lord’s apology.



“You owe him a proper explanation Híren. And there is more, for it isn’t just this day’s events. Why you treat him so badly? What in Arda did Erestor do to deserve such treatment like this?”



Elrond looked into Erestor’s beautiful but too pale face intently, trying to compose his thoughts. It had been so long since he dared to look upon Erestor properly. Knowing that his feelings towards his former friend were visible on his face for all to see.



Glorfindel regarded Elrond’s face, waiting his answer. He gasped when he noticed the expression on Elrond’s face. He looked Erestor... almost lovingly?



Elrond flinched when Glorfindel started to speak suddenly.



“You love him, don’t you?”



Elrond didn’t dare to meet Glorfindel’s gaze.



“Aye. I love him. I have loved him almost ten years now”, he confessed softly. He knew that it was useless to deny the truth anymore.



Glorfindel struggled to keep his voice calm. He couldn’t understand why Elrond would do something like that to someone he loved. He had to solve this riddle, that is, for Erestor’s sake.



“I don’t understand you Elrond. If you love him... why you haven’t you acted upon your feelings, instead you abuse him like that? Do you think that Erestor isn’t worth your love?”



“It isn’t like that at all! I know that I have treated him in an inexcusable way, and only because of my own guilt. I fell in love with him before Celebrian left to Havens. In truth, it happened at that same night when Erestor and Celebrian were brought back to Imladris, both seriously wounded. How much I feared that I would lose them both. I succeed to heal Erestor, but not my wife. I failed, because I didn’t love her enough! And what was even worse, Celebrian knew about my feelings. When we bid our farewells, she set me free. She wanted me to be happy again, and forget her. She was so good, so understanding...and I failed her!



At the beginning our bonding was a political match, and was to strengthen relations between two elven-realms. Little by little I learned to love her, but she never was my destined soul- mate. Have you any idea how much I despised myself, when I suddenly found the one, who I was meant to be with? But I was bound with another! At the very same time when Celebrian laid in her sickbed, I held Erestor in my arms, knowing that if he traveled to Mandos’ Halls, I would follow him soon. Him, not my wife! When I took Erestor in my arms, to heal him the feeling... was right... and I realized that he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. And since that fateful moment I knew that I would love Erestor till the end of Arda. Since then if haven’t been able to even look at him, because I knew that anyone could see my love for him. That’s why I avoided him, as much as possible.”



Elrond closed his eyes, but even that didn’t suppress his tears flowing down his cheeks. He silently hoped that his explanation had been enough to satisfy Glorfindel. But he wasn’t that lucky.



“I see. Then why did you continued this farce? Instead of you trying to pursue him later? Why chose to dwell in your self-created misery and continued to hurt both of you”, Glorfindel asked coldly. Now it was time to clear the things completely. These secrets had caused enough pain.



“It... was... I’m sorry, Glorfindel! It was because of you. When you came to Imladris two years ago, Erestor was overjoyed. Do you remember how merrily Erestor welcomed you? How happy he was... how he fled in your arms and didn’t let you go? And those first times... you were always together, even nights. I... I thought that you two were lovers.”



Elrond noticed a peculiar look in Glorfindel’s face. First he didn’t realize the meaning of it, but then he glanced Erestor and gasped. Erestor was awake.