What have I done?

Characters: Viggo Mortensen
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Adult Content, Death, Violence, AU
Summary: “Ready for a second go?” Again the man laughed when Viggo’s eyes nearly seemed to pop out of their holes. It was too soon. Viggo shuddered with horror. He didn’t know if he could stand the pain a second time.


Disclaimer: I don’t know anything, it’s all made up – thank god!!
Author’s notes: This is pretty violent, please don’t read if that’s not your cup of tea!!
I still hope you’ll like it anyway! On Monday I’ll be off to Paris so you’ll be able to find me there if you want to kill me after reading this… ;) Oh and thanks for your reviews, guys! You made me grab my pen and resume this fic after letting it lie around in a corner for half a year! *Thx!* Feedback is appreciated!


~*~


“Ready for a second go?” Again the man laughed when Viggo’s eyes nearly seemed to pop out of their holes. It was too soon. Viggo shuddered with horror. He didn’t know if he could stand the pain a second time.

“Hey, that was a joke!” the man laughed. “I’ll give you some more recovery time. Perhaps we should clean you up a little… You’re all bloody and sweaty.” Not really expecting a reply from Viggo, the man grabbed a bucket and filled it with water.

“Ready?” Again he didn’t wait for Viggo to answer and simply emptied the contents of the bucket over the Dane’s head. Giggling he watched Viggo gasp for breath.

//What have I done to earn this?// Viggo thought, shaking with suppressed emotions. “Why?” he coughed and rolled himself up to a tight ball to warm himself a little.

The man walked to Viggo and sat down on the mattress. “Why?” he repeated Viggo’s question and crawled closer, aligning his face with the Dane’s. The man shook his head. “You really don’t know, do you?”

Silently Viggo shook his head, forming the word with his lips. “No.” Taking a shivering breath he closed his eyes, trying to shut out his torturer, but the man made him look at him by forcing Viggo’s eyes open with his hands.

“Then I will have to tell you why.”

Viggo squirmed. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and escape this maniac.

Giggling silently the man observed Viggo’s every movement. “Why do I keep you chained to a wall? That’s an interesting question, Viggo. What do you think?”

Again Viggo only shook his head, trying to get his face out of the man’s reach.

“Answer me!” the man yelled, digging his fingers harder into Viggo’s face to keep him from moving.

Viggo grunted with pain. He felt as if his head was held captive by a vice.

“Answer me!” the man yelled even louder and let go of Viggo, his angry blow hitting Viggo hard enough to split his lips.

Numbly Viggo lay there for a few seconds, the salty taste of blood filling his mouth. “I don’t know…” he whispered, spitting the red liquid out, finally being able to close his burning eyes.

The man stood up and started to wander around in the room, gesturing wildly. “He says he doesn’t know why he’s here!” he giggled hysterically. “How’s that possible? He must know!” Viggo lifted his chained hands to protect his face from the man’s uncontrolled blows that were now raining down on him.

Viggo grunted with pain at every blow, tears finally wetting his aching eyes. Everything that was happening outside of his head wasn’t true, he told himself. Why should something like that happen to him anyway?

After a while the blows ceased and the man broke down next to Viggo, looking younger than before, his shoulders shaking violently. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, burying his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean to… I…I love you…” His voice broke.

Viggo froze. That didn’t fit into his dream at all, he frowned and slowly opened his eyes. There was really a crying man lying beneath him. Viggo was confused and tried to back up, but a heavy hand on his knee stopped him.

“Don’t…” the man sniffled, looking at Viggo from pleading wet eyes. “I wanna… Please let me…” He rested his cheek on Viggo’s knee, the stubble on his face scratching Viggo’s skin like sandpaper. “Sorry…” He started to kiss his way up Viggo’s thigh.

//No!// Viggo flinched as he felt the man’s soft lips caress his skin and tried to pull his legs away from his grasp, but the man held him in a death-grip. //Everything…// he prayed. //Everything but not this…tenderness…//

The man didn’t let himself be distracted from his work by Viggo’s desperate efforts to free himself, pinning the Dane to the ground with both of his hands and his body weight while his mouth slowly travelled higher.

“NO…” the barely audible whisper escaped Viggo’s lips as he was yanking futilely on his chains, the metal painfully rubbing at the raw skin of his wrists. //Don’t…//

The man sighed contently when his lips and tongue made first contact with Viggo’s cock, taking in its texture greedily. A happy smile spread on his lips when he felt Viggo harden under his caress and he doubled his efforts.

//No!!!// Viggo’s whole body was screaming for the man to stop, to stop his treacherous body to react to his tender caress. Viggo could bear the pain of the man hitting him, even raping him, humiliating him, but the one thing Viggo couldn’t endure, that nearly broke him was the man making love to him. And Viggo couldn’t do anything about it. He could just lie there and wait till it was over, desperate whimpers escaping is lips.

The man was now rubbing his own hard cock against Viggo’s leg, desperate for friction. Viggo’s erection filling his mouth completely felt even better than he had imagined it to feel like. He moaned pleasurably when he drew his tongue along the underside of Viggo’s cock, savouring his taste.

A strangled groan came from Viggo’s lips when he finally came, pumping his essence into the man’s mouth who swallowed it greedily. He took in shivering breaths as he looked into the room with unseeing eyes, waiting patiently till the man had cleaned him with his tongue before turning to the side and rolling up to a tight ball. Never in his entire life had he felt so dirty before. Viggo slowly started to rock back and forth, trying to soothe himself.

Viggo’s eyes flickered when he heard a metallic scratch on the ground and then strong hands grabbed him by his waist, turning him around till he was on his knees. “My turn…” the man rasped. A cold shiver ran down Viggo’s back as he felt the man’s erection nudging against his entrance. This time he didn’t even bother with preparing Viggo.

Viggo’s muscles cramped at the sudden intrusion and he cried out at the pain of it. This time Viggo didn’t pass out, but it didn’t matter now. He needed the pain, wanted it. Needed it to wash away the memory of the man making love to him.

~*~

The room seemed to sway around Viggo who was lying crouched in a corner, the smell of the blood that was still dribbling down his legs filling his nostrils.

He was thankful for the darkness surrounding him, because for some hours he didn’t have to think about where he was, not that he could have forgotten it, but at least he had the chance to concentrate on something else. The man never came at night, leaving Viggo alone to lick his wounds, giving him a little time to recover.

Viggo’s whole body screamed with pain as he tried to sit up, his muscles cramping in the process, but Viggo only bit his teeth together and willed his obstinate limbs to move further.

He had to think, Viggo decided and buried his head in his hands to stop the room around him from moving, the ringing of the chains still attached to his aching wrists feeling nearly unbearably loud to him.

Viggo knew he had to get away somehow, but whenever a thought a thought was in sight about how he could escape, images of his torturer filled his mind, the man’s giggling echoing in his ears. The grey eyes forcing him to hold their gaze, stubble scratching his skin like sandpaper, blond strands sticking to cheeks wet with tears, soft lips caressing his skin, hands reaching out to hurt, long slender fingers digging into Viggo’s face.

Pressing his fingernails deep into the palms of his hands, Viggo tried to fight the tears tat threatened to dwell in his eyes. What if the man would keep him chained to the wall forever? He might even…even kill him. He swallowed the feeling of hopelessness that was choking him. Somehow he would get out, Viggo promised himself as he started to rock back and forth again, unable to find some rest.

~*~

Viggo woke up from restless sleep as he heard the sound of the man’s heavy boots again. Grey eyes flickered open and unconsciously Viggo backed up against the wall as he saw the man walking towards him, grey veils of smoke hanging in front of his face.

The man rested his foot on the chair he had tied Viggo to some time ago and simply observed the Dane lying on the mattress, occasionally blowing smoke into the air. “I have done some thinking,” he finally said, snipping the butt of his cigarette to the ground. “You didn’t answer me yesterday,” he growled and walked to Viggo, yanking him by his hair. “That’s hardly polite and people who are not polite make me angry…”

Viggo bit back a scream. It felt like his hair was being pulled out with the skin on his head. He tried to grab the man’s arm to keep him from hurting him, but the man simply slammed Viggo’s arm away hard enough to make Viggo hit the wall, his wrist making the ugly sound of breaking bones.

“See what I meant?” the man sneered at Viggo who was holding his broken wrist with a look of unbelieving shock in his eyes. “I hate to be violent, but you made me, Viggo.” He cocked his head slightly, a boyish smile creeping onto his face. “You only have to answer me and both of us can be happy again.”

Viggo’s head was swaying. //Answer? To what fucking question?// His wrist was aching and he couldn’t think clearly. What did the man want from him?

“You know damn well what I mean, Viggo!” the man yelled, seemingly being able to read the Dane’s thoughts. A knowing smile spread on his lips. “Oh, I see… You don’t want to answer. That’s no problem. I’ll make you…” He stood up and walked away, coming back with a hammer and a nail. “Let’s see if that helps loosening your tongue…”

Viggo let out a pained howl when the man suddenly grabbed the chain attached to his broken wrist and dragged him off the mattress by it.

“How do you like that, bitch?” he laughed manically as he saw a single tear roll down Viggo’s cheek. “Still no answer? Alright…”

“No!!!” was all Viggo could scream before a heavy boot smashed his hand. He thought he might loose consciousness when he looked down on the bloodied mess that once was his hand, several white bones poking out of the skin. The long suppressed tears finally broke loose, running down the Dane’s face freely. “What do you want?” he whispered, his voice thick with pain.

“What do I want?” the man sighed and explained it again patiently to Viggo as he would to a little child. “I want my answer. Nothing more I do desire of you!” He raised his eyebrows indignantly as Viggo didn’t answer and held the man’s forearm down, softly pressing the broken bones, making Viggo hiss with pain. “My answer. Apparently you still haven’t had enough…” With his free hand the man grabbed the hammer and the nail he had brought earlier and turned Viggo’s hand around, positioning the pointed end of the nail on the palm of Viggo’s hand.

Frozen Viggo watched as the man took the hammer and with one, two, three hard strokes Viggo’s hand was securely nailed to the wooden floor, his broken fingers twitching like the legs of a spider unsure where to go. The added pain wasn’t even the worst about it, Viggo’s whole body was hurting like hell anyway, but having to watch what the man did, having to see it done to him finally broke Viggo, reducing him to a whimpering figure of pain and fear.

“You surprise me, Viggo,” the man laughed, admiring his work. “You made me do things I wouldn’t have thought myself capable to do…” He sighed, his eyes focusing off as he seemed to remember something. “I knew you were special the very first time I saw you… Do you know where that was? No?” he sighed patiently. “You know that little clothes store on the opposite of the town hall? Bloom’s? You wanted to buy a shirt there, remember?” the man smiled at Viggo, ignoring his obvious pain. “But it was a little too small for you… Do you know that it still smells like you? I keep it in my closet… Sorry, I’m babbling,” the man giggled and cleared his throat. “I was standing on the opposite side of the shop as you suddenly looked up and smiled directly at me. It was love on first sight. I saw you and I knew I would have to get you. Do you remember, Viggo?”

Slowly Viggo turned his gaze from his destroyed hand to the man. “No,” he croaked before his eyes unfocused again. He didn’t want to remember, he only wanted the man to finally leave him alone.

“But you must, Viggo!” the man protested, frowning. “You were looking directly at me! You must remember me!”

Viggo felt tired. “No…” he whispered again. Perhaps the man would leave if he just closed his eyes long enough.

“Please, Viggo! Look at me and tell me that you love me. Viggo? My patience is thinning…” the man added, knitting his brows.

Shaking his head slightly, Viggo drew up his legs as far as possible. Couldn’t the man leave him alone? He was tired…

“You think you’re a smart little shit, right?” the man sneered. “But remember, Viggo that you’re the one chained to a wall while I can do whatever I like to you…”

“Would it change anything if I answered?” Viggo replied weakly, the words barely audible.

The man’s eyes darkened with anger as he turned Viggo on his stomach, twisting his arm painfully in the process. “You’re trying to make me angry on purpose, do you?” he growled, loosening his belt and pulling it out of the loops of his jeans. He folded the leather, caressing it tenderly before slamming it down hard on Viggo’s back, breaking the skin and opening old wounds that had closed already. Viggo felt as if the skin was ripped of his back in big pieces.

The next minutes Viggo’s agonized whimpers and the sound of leather slapping wet skin filled the air till the man let the belt fall to the ground, the leather soaked with blood.

Viggo was shaking violently as he felt warm liquid dribble down his aching back. //That’s what it must feel like being skinned alive// he thought, careful not to worsen the pain by moving. His eyes twitched as he heard the sound of clothes falling to the ground. Then hands grabbed his hips, pulling him up and suddenly Viggo felt like being split apart, red pain burning behind his closed eyes.

The man moaned blissfully as he felt Viggo’s tightness around him. Burying himself completely inside of the Dane. Viggo didn’t fight when he started to fuck him with fast hard thrusts, biting his lip to keep himself from crying out. It seemed like an eternity to him till the man finally spilled himself inside of Viggo, heavily collapsing on the Dane’s back, making Viggo let out a tormented cry as he hit his mishandled back.

“I love you, Viggo,” the man whispered and buried his head in Viggo’s hair. “Please tell me that you love me, too. Only once…” He rolled off Viggo and turned him around. “Answer me!” the man was screaming now and slapped Viggo so hard that blood was dribbling from the Dane’s mouth. It didn’t matter any longer, Viggo decided, his eyes focusing on a sparkle at the corner of his gaze. It was…a… Viggo tried to concentrate, but his mind was hazed with pain. Carefully he stretched his arm out to reach it, his fingers closing around something cold.

It was a bottle, Viggo realized. The man couldn’t see his movement, he was too caught up in his own world. That was his chance… With a desperate cry Viggo slammed the bottle down on the man’s face, splinters flying through the air like silver sparkles.

An agonized scream was on the man’s lips as he broke down, big trails of blood running from the cuts in his face. “How’s that possible?” he whimpered and sat up, seeing the broken bottle in Viggo’s hand. “Give me the bottle and I might forgive you…” he commanded, his hands reaching out to hit Viggo again.

“No…” the broken whisper sounded weak, but determined as Viggo hit the man a second time, this time slashing the man’s throat.

The man slumped down immediately, a look of disbelief in his eyes as the blood in his throat choked him. He brought his hands to his throat as if to keep the blood from running out, trying to breathe, but couldn’t. After a while he stopped moving, lying still on the ground.

Viggo didn’t see anything of this. The bottle fell from his grasp as his fingers refused to work. His eyes closed. Finally he could rest, the only sound in the room his own heartbeat…

~*~

“Dom?” a brown eyed man peeked through the door. It was so unlike his friend to keep his door opened. “Dom?” he called again, entering his friend’s cellar. Orlando frowned as he saw the mess in the room. Splinters were lying everywhere and…

“Oh my god! Dom!!” He ran to the naked form of his friend lying on the floor, nearly breaking down when he saw that his throat was cut and he was dead. Uncertain what to do he walked back a step, nearly stumbling over the other body lying half hidden in the shadows. “Fuck!” he gasped as he saw that the man was covered in blood, his back alone was a big wound, chains were attached to his wrists and… Orlando thought he would have to vomit as he saw the man’s destroyed hand.

Viggo weakly opened his eyes as he heard somebody speak and carefully touch his cheek.

“Sir? Are you alright?” Stupid question Orlando thought as he carefully patted the man’s cheek to wake him. The cheek seemed to be the only place that wasn’t injured. What had happened in Dom’s cellar. Relieved Orlando drew in breath as the man’s eyes fluttered open. “Thank god, you’re alive! I’ll get help!”

Viggo nodded weakly, not even listening to the brown eyes in front of him and closed his eyes forever.

Finis