Legolas Finds Love. And Loses a Mitten.
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
2,976
Reviews:
23
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
2,976
Reviews:
23
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
One
Legolas Finds Love. And Loses a Mitten.
Elrond, Legolas, and Aragorn enter the cinema and take their seats.
Audience Member: Where do they take them?
Shut up, you. This isn't Rocky Horror, you know.
Audience Member: Sorry.
Okay. Where was I? Oh yes. Elrond, Legolas, and Aragorn enter the cinema and take their seats.
Aragorn: Why do they always say my name last? I'm a King!
Elrond: Stop your whinging! It's bad enough we have to sit through this fuck-awful thing without having to listen to you whinge about it.
Legolas: Pass me the Milk-Duds, eh King Whingeypants?
Aragorn: Fuck off both of you. [Throws candy at Legolas]
Legolas: Forgot your Midol this morning, did you? Aww.
Aragorn: Look *Elf*, unless you want your pretty little head to be forcibly removed from your hot . . . gorgeous . . . huh? Oh yeah: Unless you want me to cut your head off, I suggest you shut your lembas-hole.
Legolas: You'd be dead before your stroke fell. . .
Elrond: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now shut it *both* of you.
//
Legolas Finds Love.
"The First Mending" 1
//
Legolas: Odd title. Hmm.
//
Legolas and Aragorn were on their way to Rivendell for Lord Elrond needed them there. It's been one year since the ring had been destroyed and Aragorn became king of Gondor. Arwen had to stayed behind to look after the people wail he was gone. Legolas met Aragorn in Gondor and together they road to Rivendell. It took them many days but they finally got there. It was nearly night when they arrived and Lord Elrond was speaking to another elf. Marhash was his name and he was here with his daughter. They were from Lorien.
//
Elrond: Oi! Author Girl! Ever hear of a little thing called a comma? Or Grammar? Or Spellchecker?
Aragorn: I'm trying to figure out why all the people in Gondor are wailing.
Legolas: Probably because we road to Rivendell. And Arwen had to stayed behind.
Elrond: Marhash? What the fuck kind of name is *that* for an Elf?
//
"Welcome Aragorn and Legolas I'm glad you made it" said Lord Elrond
"We Came as soon as we could Lord" said Legolas
"Very well I summed you two here for I wish to know what's been going on in each land. Strange things have been happing and we all need to talk." Said Elrond looking at the two now.
"Do you wish to speak of it now" asked Aragorn
//
Aragorn: I *hate* it when I've been summed because strange things are happing. Buggers up my whole day.
//
"No tomorrow will do fine for me its very late now. Why don't you two rest and we shall all talk in the morning" Lord Elrond said excusing them. They left his room and wondered around Rivendell. Legolas walked out side since there was a cool breeze and he smiled to himself. Then he noticed an Elvin maiden looking up into the sky as well. He quietly approached her. Her hair was long and wavy and she war a white flowing gower her hands were folded in front of her and suddenly she turned around and looked into his soft blue eyes.
//
Elrond: What were we all doing in *my* room? Don't I have an office or some such shit?
Legolas: I dunno. I'm too busy wondering around Rivendell with Kingy over here, you know. Since I'm smiling to myself and all.
Aragorn: And talking to maidens who are battling their garments.
//
"You remind me of an angel" Legolas said to her for she was the most beautiful elf in all the land.
//
Legolas: No, *I'm* the most beautiful Elf! Didn't she read "The Very Secret Diaries?"
Elrond: Prettiest. Not the most beautiful.
Legolas: Oh, right.
//
"I wish I could come up with something like that to say to you but you take my breath away" the elf maiden said. Legolas smiled at her
"You do not need to say anything to me, just to look upon your beautyenouenough for me" The elf maiden blushed and smiled with delight at what he said.
"I am Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Mirkwood"
//
Legolas: Gag me with an orc-arrow!
Aragorn: I'd like to take her breath away. With my hands around her throat.
Legolas: Sounds kinky. I'm there!
Elrond: Smiling with delight. As opposed to smiling with anger or sadness.
//
"And I am Layoin Trenindell of Luthlorien, but I am no princess" she said now looking down.
//
Elrond: Luthlorien. The dodgy section of Lothlórien.
Aragorn: Who the hell ever said she was a princess?
//
"But you are in my eyes for you are the most lovely elf I have ever seen." He said lifting up her head.
//
Legolas: Because Aragorn hacked it off and it was rolling around on the ground.
//
Legolas knew right then that he had fallen in love. He was never in love before, but he knew he was for he felt weird. His heart razed inside him and his face got hot. Then he spoke again.
//
Elrond: Ouch. Your heart doing all that razing must hurt like a bastard.
Legolas: That's why my face got hot.
//
"What is a Lorien elf doing in Rivendell might I ask?"
"I'm vesting friends and my father was summed here by lord Elrond. I begged to come for I wish to see other lands other then my own."
//
Elrond: I've never summed anyone in my life, I'll have you know.
Aragorn: How "˜bout vesting your friends? Done that?
Elrond: Just that once. But Erestor and I were really pished.
//
"Well I have don lots of traveling in my time."
"I know for you are very well know to my people. I just wish I did not miss your stop there long ago."
"But I am glad that you did for then I would not have wanted to leave."
//
Legolas: Where was this now?
Elrond: How the hell should I know? I'm having a hard enough time wading through all his atrocious grammar and spelling. I can't be bothered with the plot on top of that!
Aragorn: Plot?
//
Layoin laughed and Legolas found it southing. Her smile brightened up the darkness that surrounded them. He started at her with amassment and she stopped laughing and looked away nervously.
//
Elrond: [falls out of seat]
Legolas: Bleh. What they hell does that say?
Aragorn: You're going south and she's getting fat. Amassment. That *you're* apparently starting.
Elrond: [gets up off floor] Didn't I tell you to use condoms?
Legolas: If you're insinuating that I'd fuck a *girl*, and a Mary Sue to boot, you'd better watch yourself, old man.
Elrond: Oh, right. The entire Fellowship's gay. Sorry, I forgot.
Aragorn: I'd like a Mary Sue to boot. Right in the arse.
Legolas: You could stuff her in a boot. Then run the car off into the river. [laughs evilly]
//
"Now can I ask you a question?" she said to him
//
Legolas: Didn't she just?
Aragorn: Don't question the author. It never helps.
//
"Yes you may."
"Well I would like to know what you are doing here in Rivendell?"
"I am here for the same reason that your father is. And perhaps I shill stay" he said to and smiled. Legolas put his hand up to her face and gently stroked her soft cheek. She closed her eyes and then raised her hand and put it on his. Then bring their hands down Legolas leaned in and kissed her cheek. When he pulled away Layoin squeezed his hand. He looked down and then looked at her again and her deep blue eyes burned inside his heart. Layoin leaned in and kissed Legolas on the lips. He put his arms around her hand pulled her closer. There kiss was long and passionate then they slowly moved apart and smiled at each other.
//
Elrond: I can't take this anymore! [gets up and runs from the theatre]
Aragorn: Looks like it's just you and I!
Legolas: [thinking] About damn time.
Aragorn: I'm not going to begin to analyse all the grammatical mistakes here in this single paragraph, so I'll just ask: why are you kissing this girl?
Legolas: She kissed me! And to top that, not only do I have my heart razing inside of me, I've got her eyes burning in there too!
//
"It's getting late" Layoin said to Legolas
"Yes it is and I would love to walk you back to your room if you did not Mind."
"If you wish it."
They walked hand in hand down the halls and they made it to Layoin's room. Legolas turned to her and kissed her and she kissed back.
//
Aragorn: See, here's a learning opportunity. In the alphabet, there are 26 letters. These letters can be written in either lower case or uppercase. Uppercase letters are found at the *beginnings* of sentences and proper names. Only.
Legolas: [yawns] Thank you, Captain Grammar. [turns to imaginary camera] This message brought to you by the good folks over at "Band of Rusty Gold."
Aragorn: Who're you talking to?
Legolas: Uh, nobody.
//
"I had a wonderful time with you Legolas." Layoin said to him looking deep into his enchanting eyes.
"As did I"
//
Legolas: What did we do exactly that we had such a good time at, because I surely don't remember anything.
Aragorn: Selective amnesia. Don't blame you one bit.
//
"Shall I see you in the morning then?"
"If you want to see me"
"I do, very much."
"Then you shall see me" Legolas kissed her cheek and walked away.
//
Aragorn: So, Legolas, shall I see you in the morning?
Legolas: That's a novel idea.
Aragorn: What?
Legolas: You staying "˜til morning.
Aragorn: We've been through this. I'm a married man. It wouldn't do to have my subjects think I'm dallying with-
Legolas: [pouts] I know, I know . . . let's continue, shall we?
//
His head was held high and his heart was pounding in side his chest and was filled with joy. Legolas knew right then that Layoin was the one for him and he wanted her and only her. It was love at first sight.
//
Legolas: So, my heart's done razing and it's now filled with joy?
Aragorn: Apparently so. Hey, you fancy a quick one in the loo before the next chapter?
Legolas: Hmph. The King of Men wants to shag in a public toilet? Mr I-Can't-Have-People-Know-I'm-Screwing-You?
Aragorn: Well, I just thought-
Legolas: Let me see your hands.
Aragorn: Huh?
Legolas: Let me see them. Hmm. Look healthy to me.
Aragorn: Okay. . .
Legolas: So you and they can have a grand time together. *I'm* going out for a smoke. [turns and leaves the theatre]
Aragorn: [gaping at Legolas as he walks away] But you don't smoke . . .
Elrond, Legolas, and Aragorn enter the cinema and take their seats.
Audience Member: Where do they take them?
Shut up, you. This isn't Rocky Horror, you know.
Audience Member: Sorry.
Okay. Where was I? Oh yes. Elrond, Legolas, and Aragorn enter the cinema and take their seats.
Aragorn: Why do they always say my name last? I'm a King!
Elrond: Stop your whinging! It's bad enough we have to sit through this fuck-awful thing without having to listen to you whinge about it.
Legolas: Pass me the Milk-Duds, eh King Whingeypants?
Aragorn: Fuck off both of you. [Throws candy at Legolas]
Legolas: Forgot your Midol this morning, did you? Aww.
Aragorn: Look *Elf*, unless you want your pretty little head to be forcibly removed from your hot . . . gorgeous . . . huh? Oh yeah: Unless you want me to cut your head off, I suggest you shut your lembas-hole.
Legolas: You'd be dead before your stroke fell. . .
Elrond: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now shut it *both* of you.
//
Legolas Finds Love.
"The First Mending" 1
//
Legolas: Odd title. Hmm.
//
Legolas and Aragorn were on their way to Rivendell for Lord Elrond needed them there. It's been one year since the ring had been destroyed and Aragorn became king of Gondor. Arwen had to stayed behind to look after the people wail he was gone. Legolas met Aragorn in Gondor and together they road to Rivendell. It took them many days but they finally got there. It was nearly night when they arrived and Lord Elrond was speaking to another elf. Marhash was his name and he was here with his daughter. They were from Lorien.
//
Elrond: Oi! Author Girl! Ever hear of a little thing called a comma? Or Grammar? Or Spellchecker?
Aragorn: I'm trying to figure out why all the people in Gondor are wailing.
Legolas: Probably because we road to Rivendell. And Arwen had to stayed behind.
Elrond: Marhash? What the fuck kind of name is *that* for an Elf?
//
"Welcome Aragorn and Legolas I'm glad you made it" said Lord Elrond
"We Came as soon as we could Lord" said Legolas
"Very well I summed you two here for I wish to know what's been going on in each land. Strange things have been happing and we all need to talk." Said Elrond looking at the two now.
"Do you wish to speak of it now" asked Aragorn
//
Aragorn: I *hate* it when I've been summed because strange things are happing. Buggers up my whole day.
//
"No tomorrow will do fine for me its very late now. Why don't you two rest and we shall all talk in the morning" Lord Elrond said excusing them. They left his room and wondered around Rivendell. Legolas walked out side since there was a cool breeze and he smiled to himself. Then he noticed an Elvin maiden looking up into the sky as well. He quietly approached her. Her hair was long and wavy and she war a white flowing gower her hands were folded in front of her and suddenly she turned around and looked into his soft blue eyes.
//
Elrond: What were we all doing in *my* room? Don't I have an office or some such shit?
Legolas: I dunno. I'm too busy wondering around Rivendell with Kingy over here, you know. Since I'm smiling to myself and all.
Aragorn: And talking to maidens who are battling their garments.
//
"You remind me of an angel" Legolas said to her for she was the most beautiful elf in all the land.
//
Legolas: No, *I'm* the most beautiful Elf! Didn't she read "The Very Secret Diaries?"
Elrond: Prettiest. Not the most beautiful.
Legolas: Oh, right.
//
"I wish I could come up with something like that to say to you but you take my breath away" the elf maiden said. Legolas smiled at her
"You do not need to say anything to me, just to look upon your beautyenouenough for me" The elf maiden blushed and smiled with delight at what he said.
"I am Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Mirkwood"
//
Legolas: Gag me with an orc-arrow!
Aragorn: I'd like to take her breath away. With my hands around her throat.
Legolas: Sounds kinky. I'm there!
Elrond: Smiling with delight. As opposed to smiling with anger or sadness.
//
"And I am Layoin Trenindell of Luthlorien, but I am no princess" she said now looking down.
//
Elrond: Luthlorien. The dodgy section of Lothlórien.
Aragorn: Who the hell ever said she was a princess?
//
"But you are in my eyes for you are the most lovely elf I have ever seen." He said lifting up her head.
//
Legolas: Because Aragorn hacked it off and it was rolling around on the ground.
//
Legolas knew right then that he had fallen in love. He was never in love before, but he knew he was for he felt weird. His heart razed inside him and his face got hot. Then he spoke again.
//
Elrond: Ouch. Your heart doing all that razing must hurt like a bastard.
Legolas: That's why my face got hot.
//
"What is a Lorien elf doing in Rivendell might I ask?"
"I'm vesting friends and my father was summed here by lord Elrond. I begged to come for I wish to see other lands other then my own."
//
Elrond: I've never summed anyone in my life, I'll have you know.
Aragorn: How "˜bout vesting your friends? Done that?
Elrond: Just that once. But Erestor and I were really pished.
//
"Well I have don lots of traveling in my time."
"I know for you are very well know to my people. I just wish I did not miss your stop there long ago."
"But I am glad that you did for then I would not have wanted to leave."
//
Legolas: Where was this now?
Elrond: How the hell should I know? I'm having a hard enough time wading through all his atrocious grammar and spelling. I can't be bothered with the plot on top of that!
Aragorn: Plot?
//
Layoin laughed and Legolas found it southing. Her smile brightened up the darkness that surrounded them. He started at her with amassment and she stopped laughing and looked away nervously.
//
Elrond: [falls out of seat]
Legolas: Bleh. What they hell does that say?
Aragorn: You're going south and she's getting fat. Amassment. That *you're* apparently starting.
Elrond: [gets up off floor] Didn't I tell you to use condoms?
Legolas: If you're insinuating that I'd fuck a *girl*, and a Mary Sue to boot, you'd better watch yourself, old man.
Elrond: Oh, right. The entire Fellowship's gay. Sorry, I forgot.
Aragorn: I'd like a Mary Sue to boot. Right in the arse.
Legolas: You could stuff her in a boot. Then run the car off into the river. [laughs evilly]
//
"Now can I ask you a question?" she said to him
//
Legolas: Didn't she just?
Aragorn: Don't question the author. It never helps.
//
"Yes you may."
"Well I would like to know what you are doing here in Rivendell?"
"I am here for the same reason that your father is. And perhaps I shill stay" he said to and smiled. Legolas put his hand up to her face and gently stroked her soft cheek. She closed her eyes and then raised her hand and put it on his. Then bring their hands down Legolas leaned in and kissed her cheek. When he pulled away Layoin squeezed his hand. He looked down and then looked at her again and her deep blue eyes burned inside his heart. Layoin leaned in and kissed Legolas on the lips. He put his arms around her hand pulled her closer. There kiss was long and passionate then they slowly moved apart and smiled at each other.
//
Elrond: I can't take this anymore! [gets up and runs from the theatre]
Aragorn: Looks like it's just you and I!
Legolas: [thinking] About damn time.
Aragorn: I'm not going to begin to analyse all the grammatical mistakes here in this single paragraph, so I'll just ask: why are you kissing this girl?
Legolas: She kissed me! And to top that, not only do I have my heart razing inside of me, I've got her eyes burning in there too!
//
"It's getting late" Layoin said to Legolas
"Yes it is and I would love to walk you back to your room if you did not Mind."
"If you wish it."
They walked hand in hand down the halls and they made it to Layoin's room. Legolas turned to her and kissed her and she kissed back.
//
Aragorn: See, here's a learning opportunity. In the alphabet, there are 26 letters. These letters can be written in either lower case or uppercase. Uppercase letters are found at the *beginnings* of sentences and proper names. Only.
Legolas: [yawns] Thank you, Captain Grammar. [turns to imaginary camera] This message brought to you by the good folks over at "Band of Rusty Gold."
Aragorn: Who're you talking to?
Legolas: Uh, nobody.
//
"I had a wonderful time with you Legolas." Layoin said to him looking deep into his enchanting eyes.
"As did I"
//
Legolas: What did we do exactly that we had such a good time at, because I surely don't remember anything.
Aragorn: Selective amnesia. Don't blame you one bit.
//
"Shall I see you in the morning then?"
"If you want to see me"
"I do, very much."
"Then you shall see me" Legolas kissed her cheek and walked away.
//
Aragorn: So, Legolas, shall I see you in the morning?
Legolas: That's a novel idea.
Aragorn: What?
Legolas: You staying "˜til morning.
Aragorn: We've been through this. I'm a married man. It wouldn't do to have my subjects think I'm dallying with-
Legolas: [pouts] I know, I know . . . let's continue, shall we?
//
His head was held high and his heart was pounding in side his chest and was filled with joy. Legolas knew right then that Layoin was the one for him and he wanted her and only her. It was love at first sight.
//
Legolas: So, my heart's done razing and it's now filled with joy?
Aragorn: Apparently so. Hey, you fancy a quick one in the loo before the next chapter?
Legolas: Hmph. The King of Men wants to shag in a public toilet? Mr I-Can't-Have-People-Know-I'm-Screwing-You?
Aragorn: Well, I just thought-
Legolas: Let me see your hands.
Aragorn: Huh?
Legolas: Let me see them. Hmm. Look healthy to me.
Aragorn: Okay. . .
Legolas: So you and they can have a grand time together. *I'm* going out for a smoke. [turns and leaves the theatre]
Aragorn: [gaping at Legolas as he walks away] But you don't smoke . . .