breaking the ice

Chapter nineteen Erestor reaches out

“I think we need to fold it the other way.”
“No, not at all. This way it will take up less room. You know how Erestor hates to waste space.”
“I know, no need to remind me. And I also know we have to hurry if we are to be finished in time. I have no desire to meet him.”
The other grinned. “And that doesn’t have anything to do with the fact he turned you down, does it? I warned you not to, but you wouldn’t listen.”
The first one nodded. “I know, you keep telling me. It was worth a try, though. And I still think he’s beautiful.”
“Watch out!”

The warning came too late. A body collided with them and three elves tumbled to the floor. The servants hastily got back to their feet, saving the linen. One of them gazed at the third elf in horror and disbelief while the second stand agape, not believing his own eyes.

Erestor snorted and effortlessly rose himself. “Is this the new way of folding sheets?”
One of the servants shook his head, nudging his companion out of his bedazzled state. “No, lord Erestor. It is hard to fold when one collides with us.” He cringed under Erestor’s cold gaze and lowered his head. “Forgive us for standing in your way.” He knew being humble might prevent the other’s wrath.
But Erestor didn’t listen. He brushed past them. “I suggest you find another way. And don’t drop your saliva on them.”
The two servants stared behind them in puzzlement and looked at each other for confirmation. “Is he sick?”
“Don’t know. He’s behaving most peculiar. Maybe he’s having a good day?”
“And what were all those others? His off days?” They laughed and shook their heads, still doubting the sanity of their minds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once in his rooms Erestor allowed his anger to come out before he collapsed on his bed. He closed his eyes and forced his mind to turn blank. After a while he stood up and entered the bathroom. He would take a long, warm bath. The herbs he added were so relaxing he swiftly fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Galadriel and Elrond locked their eyes and despair stared at despair. He had hurried to them in anxiety and had entered halfway the tale. Elladan was glad his father had joined them and leaned towards him. Haldir, Galadriel and Elladan had brought Elrohir to Orophin and Haldir had carefully placed the exhausted twin next to his brother, while Galadriel had told everything that they had learned.
But Orophin had made no indication he even heard them.

They sighed defeated and stood to go, Elrond firmly clasping Haldir’s shoulders. He understood how hard this was on him, even though his face showed no sign of his inner turmoil and pain.
Before stepping out the March Warden threw one last look at the bed and gasped when he saw Elrohir curl up to Orophin.
Elrond followed his gaze and smiled. “Even now there is hope.”
Galadriel released a relieved sigh. “Though I had almost given it up.”

She rubbed her neck. “Aiya, I need a nice, long, relaxing bath but I haven’t even seen Rumil yet.”
Haldir smiled. “I’ll go tell him you’re here.” She nodded, weary from the journey and the last events. She yawned and her eyes widened in disbelief and shock.
Elrond grinned. “Well, that’s a first. Just wait until I’ve told our lovers you’ve yawned.”
Galadriel shook her head. “And risk Celeborn hurting himself laughing? You know what he’s like. And he’d better not break the rocking chair.”
Elrond smiled. “I’ll tell him.”
She shook her head and entered her room, allowing Elrond to hurry back to Glorfindel.

He pulled his son closer. “And what about you Elladan?”
The twin shrugged. “I don’t know, ata. It all seems so… weird.”
Elrond nodded. “You can stay with us.”

Elladan was eager to accept the offer, the need to be with his father nearly overwhelmed him, but he declined, thinking of his father instead. “I’ll ask Erestor to give me something to do.”
Elrond smiled ruefully. “If you so desire, but please feel free to come to us.”
Elladan nodded and went to find Erestor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel frowned after waking up. /I didn’t realise healing was so exhausting./
He realised someone knocked on the door. “Mitula” He smiled when he saw Rumil entering, almost shuffling inside.

He bowed his head in greeting, his eyes begging for Elrond to appear.

Glorfindel frowned, wondering what might have happened to dampen Rumil’s spirit like that. “I’m afraid Elrond’s not here, but I most certainly am. What can I do for you, young one? As long as it doesn’t involve any walking or other activities that would demand use of my waist, you can ask me anything. Not that I would mind, but Elrond forbids me from moving as long as I’m injured.” His tone was light and he was pleased to see a smile appear on Rumil’s face. He patted on the bed, signalling for Rumil to sit down.

He meekly approached the bed. “I was hoping I could talk to Lord Elrond. He said I could come any time. I…”
Glorfindel placed his hand on Rumil’s shoulder. He sensed something greatly troubled the other and wondered what he could do to help. “I might not be Elrond, but I can listen if you want.”
Rumil lowered his head in thought and suddenly stood up. “Forgive me, Lord Glorfindel, for disturbing your rest, when you’re in need of it. The more you rest, the sooner you heal. That’s what the healers back home always say, and I guess they’re right. They are healers so they should know.”

Glorfindel narrowed his eyes. There was something he did not like about this sudden mood change. “Please sit down? You can keep me company while we wait for Elrond.”
But Rumil shook his head, backing up towards the door. “Nay, thank you, but I have to decline your generous offer. I have much work to do in the attic and I am sure Erestor or Elrohir can answer me. I beg your forgiveness for interrupting your rest. I’ll..”

He stopped when he backed up against a body. He swirled around and gasped when he stood face to face with Elrond himself.
“Rumil! What a pleasure to see you again. How are you?” He steered Rumil back inside and to the bed. He had received Glorfindel’s mental worry and had hurried here. Now they quickly informed each other through their bond.

Elrond nodded. “You wish to speak to me?” Rumil shook his head, a little too frantically to their taste and Elrond raised one eyebrow in disbelief. “Rumil?”
Rumil sighed. “Really, it’s nothing. I’m all right. Where is everybody?” He hoped he could get their attention away from himself.
Elrond smiled, allowing the distraction. “Orophin and Elrohir are at the Healing House. They will need their brothers’ guidance and support when this is over. Elladan is wandering the hallways, Glorfindel, you and I are here, the servants are working and Haldir is searching for you. And Galadriel is taking a relaxing bath in her rooms. She just arrived, which is why Haldir is looking for you.”
Rumil’s eyes beamed with happiness. “Can I go see her?”
Elrond laughed. “Of course you can. But give her some moments to recover from the journey before you visit her. You can stay here, if you like.”

Elrond smiled wickedly at him. “I could use some help changing those bandages. They say healers make the worst patients, but that saying needs revision for the worst patient is definitely our dear Glorfindel. And don’t you look so innocent, meleth.”
Rumil laughed at the comment and nodded his approval. “You require a warrior to keep him in bed?”
Elrond smiled at him. “I just might. Would you please get the salve from that shelf over there and there are some clean bandages in one of those drawers too. If you’d be so kind to bring them as well.” Rumil nodded and did as he was bid while Elrond removed the bandages.

Rumil came to stand beside the lord of Imaldris and he winced, seeing the wound Glorfindel had received. “Aiya, that will keep you in bed for some more weeks at least.” He grinned. “Perhaps Haldir can step in and cover for him while he’s in bed?” His eyes looked hopeful at Elrond and the dark-haired elf nodded. “Excellent idea.” He frowned when there was a knock at the door.

Rumil hurried to see to it. He opened the door to a crack, unwilling for any prying eyes to see Glorfindel in this state. He smiled when he saw Haldir standing there. His smile widened when Haldir smiled at him as well, pleased he had finally located his brother, though worry was evident in his face.
Rumil cocked his head a little and Haldir sighed. “I need to talk to Lord Elrond and Galadriel is here.”
Rumil grinned. “So I’ve heard. I should wait before visiting. But what’s wrong? Is it Phin?”
Haldir sighed. “Yes and no. Yes, there’s something wrong with Phin and no, that’s not why I’m here.” Rumil glared at him and Haldir hurried to soothe him. “Don’t you worry about him. He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine.”

He had intended to tell Rumil, but one look at his little brother told him he had just had a bad time and could do without trouble. He drew him in an embrace. “Naneth atta?”
Rumil nodded and clung to his brother who tightened his hold, steering them inside the room. He used his foot to close the door and nodded politely to Elrond and Glorfindel, who now was decent again.

Elrond approached them, worry evident on his face. Haldir closed his eyes before he released Rumil. “Go freshen up. You look dreadful.” Rumil snuffed. “You look nice too.” Elrond signalled he could use his bathroom and Rumil disappeared behind the door.

Haldir swallowed. “It’s naneth. We lost our parents when we were really young.”
Tears entered his eyes and Elrond placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “I know, I was there when Celeborn found you.”
Haldir narrowed his eyes and then smiled. “I had forgotten.”
Elrond smiled too. “But what does that have to do with Rumil’s sorrow?”

Haldir sighed and sat down. “You know ata had died that day and nana had been to gravely injured to last long. Not even Celeborn and Galadriel could make her sail for Valinor. She wanted to remain with us until the last moment. Ru was too young to remember her now. Every time a woman cares for him, mothers him, he breaks down. Even when Galadriel does so.”
He wiped away his tears. “It reminds him he never knew our mother, that he has no image of her in his mind. It pains him and he hates himself for it.”

Elrond sat down beside him and pulled Haldir close. “Aiya, I did not know.” He realised there was more to this than Haldir had told him. He wondered what it was. He felt he was missing something, but what. Glorfindel shrugged and shook his head. /Maybe Erestor can help? Or Galadriel?/
Elrond nodded and smiled. /Do you mind if I far speak later? There’s something I just have to tell Celeborn./ Glorfindel shook his head. He didn’t mind.

Rumil came back inside and rushed towards Haldir. “What’s wrong?”
Haldir smiled. “Nothing.”
Rumil nodded in understanding. “Why else did you come here?”
Haldir grinned. “When I was looking for you I saw Erestor talking to Galadriel. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”
Elrond shrugged. “Impossible to say. Why don’t you and Rumil go there and see if either of them needs any saving?”
Haldir nodded and pulled Rumil along, pulling him closer to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrond mentally reached out and made contact with Celeborn who nearly fell down when he felt him. `Elrond, what a surprise. Did Galadriel arrive already?`
`Aye, she did.`
Celeborn frowned. Something was different. He tried to sense it but he wasn’t able to detect the difference, though he was sure it was Elrond’s essence. `Why are you contacting me?`
`Things have taken a turn for the worst. Orophin is not responding to anything or anyone anymore, but we have hopes Elrohir might be able to bring him back. And Rumil is having a breakdown, or something like it. From Haldir I understand it’s because of his mother. He hates himself for not remembering her.`
Celeborn nodded. `Aye.`
Glorfindel frowned. `Does he remember his father then?`

Celeborn had to steady himself when he heard the blond so suddenly and he smiled, realising why the connection felt different. `Congratulations, you two. And yes he does. He had seen everything. Elrond, you must remember. Rumil had already been there when we came and Haldir and Orophin ran in a little later. Rumil had seen everything.`
Elrond gasped and forced back his tears. Immediately he felt Glorfindel’s support in his mind. Celeborn smiled at sensing it. `I know the images haunt him still, though he oppresses them. But the face of his mother had disappeared over time and all he remembers is how he saw his father get killed.`
Elrond nodded. `Erestor can help him.`
Celeborn nodded. `Keep me informed.` He sensed this conversation was draining the other two and he broke contact leaning forward over his desk. He would wait till night before reaching out to Galadriel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Galadriel smiled blissful, totally enjoying her bath. She groaned when a knock entered her hearing. She reached out mentally and groaned again. /No, not now./

After taking a deep breath she quickly got out and pulled a robe around her before opening the door. “Erestor.” Her voice disguised her discomfort at seeing the counsellor. “What is it?”
Erestor didn’t wait but entered her room, turned and settled his cold gaze on him. “You can tell me.”
She raised her eyebrows. She could sense his turmoils and anger and wondered what had caused them. /I hope this isn’t about Rumil. You two need each other./

She did not voice her thoughts but sat down, signalling for Erestor to follow suit. “My dear Erestor, if you tell me what you are referring to I would be able to assist you. As it is I am utterly useless to you.” She smiled disarmingly, knowing it would do no such thing with Erestor.
The counsellorrtedrted. “Why did you send Elladan my way? Usually he doesn’t know how far he has to stay away from me and now he seeks me out. That doesn’t add up.”

Galadriel sighed. “Things are going wrong, Err. Or. Orophin isn’t responding to anything or anyone at the moment and Elrohir is ailing as well. It affects Elladan, you know that, but he refuses to go to his father, who has an injured Glorfindel to worry about.”
Erestor’s gaze hardened, but Galadriel knew it was only to stop his concern from showing. “He needs company, Erestor.” She shrugged. “And maybe things are changing for everyone.”

Erestor narrowed his eyes, not liking her words. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know really. But let’s not talk about those straining things. Tell me how are my boys doing? Rumil, is he flourishing under your care?” She smiled to herself when she saw a very brief blush touch Erestor’s cheek before he banned it.

He shrugged. “Things have been hectic lately and Rumil hardly had time to do any work. We all for that matter.”
She smiled ruefully and nodded. “With everything happening Elrond is too busy to look after Imladris and with Glorfindel incapacitated, you take on the full load.” She smiled understandingly at him. “Why not let others help you? Rumil can help you, and Elladan must learn eventually. If you wish it I can aid as well.”
Erestor quickly declined the offer. “I don’t need help.”
She smiled. /You do, but refuse to admit it. You insist on doing everything alone. Poor Erestor. If only I could help you./

She looked puzzled when another knock came to life. “Who is it?”
“Haldir, my lady. With Rumil.” Her smile widened and she hurried to open the door. She was most anxious to she Rumil. “My darling Rumil, how have you been?” In her eagerness to hold him close she missed his lost and sad look or she would have stopped herself from drawing him in a tight embrace. Now she merely pulled him close and planted a kiss on his head. “I’ve missed you the most.”

Haldir tried to stop her, but seeing his efforts fruitless he closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable to happen. After a second in her arms Rumil yelped and sank to the floor. “No.” His voice was desperate.aladaladriel’s eyes widened and she looked at Haldir in horror. “What happened?”
He shrugged. “Elrond had him pampered by a she-elf. A very determined she-elf.”
Her eyes spat fire. “What! Is he insane? I’m going to tell that brainless son-in-law exactly what I think of him! How can he be so careless?” She stormed out the room, not even changing her robes for something more decent.

Haldir twirled round to stop her, but realised it was pointless. He could still hear her outraged mutters after she turned the corner.

He turned and kneeled next to Rumil, pulling him close, rocking him. Seeing two boots before him he looked up, his eyes widening in horror when he saw Erestor hovering above them. “What?”
Haldir sighed and closed his eyes. “It’s none of your business, Erestor. Leave.”
Erestor shook his head. “It is my business, Warden. Your brother makes it mine.”

Instead of asking Haldir for an elaboration he reached out and pulled Rumil up. The motion brought Rumil back to awareness. Seeing Erestor in front of him he lowered his head. Erestor shook his head and used his hand to cup Rumil’s chin. “This is the second time today, young one.”
Rumil nodded. “I’ll be fine.”
Erestor shook his head. “Doesn’t look like it. You’ll never be fine unless you talk about it.”

He ignored Haldir’s glares and snorts and guided Rumil to the chair. He himself claimed the arm stool, embracing Rumil. “I can know, Rumil.” Those words made Rumil look at him and slowly the Galadhrim smiled. He could detect tiny differences in Erestor’s appearance. Not major ones, almost undetectable but of grave importance. He was sure no one else had noticed them, but he did. The biggest change was in the eyes. They still resembled the dark pools Rumil loved so much, but no longer where they frozen solid. The dark mysterious water was moving, creating adorable ripples on the surfaces, visible for any that cared to look.

He leaned closer to Erestor. “You talked?” It was more a statement than a question, but Erestor nodded. “Glorfindel insisted on it. It was liberating for both of us. It will take time to completely let go, but….”
Rumil nodded and closed his eyes. “You’ve got each other and the rest of us to help you.”
Erestor smiled. “Aye. So why don’t you accept any help?”

Haldir’s eyes widened even further than they already had. Not only had he trouble believing everything he had just heard, but the last sentence made it even harder fe ree realised Erestor had used his own situation as a leverage to open Rumil up. He shook his head.

Rumil drew closer testoestor. “I can’t talk about it.”
Erestor nodded his head. “You can. You are braver than I and I could.”
“I’m afraid to talk about it.”
Erestor shook his head, denying Rumil’s words. “No, you’re not. You refused to be afraid of me or anything and you’re not afraid of this.”
Rumil locked his eyes with Erestor and the counsellor read his biggest fear in them. He gasped seeing Rumil was petrified of losing him, of having the counsellor consider him with loathing. Erestor kept their eyes locked when he spoke his words. “Ilquen qúetar te ná lá nóla ar manciëtya sinarë úcari máracarë sailatyan, nan ni litápan navë me nér aqua raica. Ailúr te ná hinlisaila tavarelda, Rumil. Compose yourself and join us for dinner.”
He pulled him close and whispered in his ear. “Ar met quetuvar meten, ohtarnya tavaro.”
He stood up, ignored Haldir and left.

Rumil opened and closed his mouth a couple of times in shock and shook his head in disbelief. When he felt someone grab his hands he was a bit disappointed it wasn’t Erestor. “Haldir, what did he say to me?” He still shook his head.
Haldir swallowed. “That you should talk about it, and I think he’s right. Elrond gave me paper to write. Maybe he has more for you?”
Rumil shook his head harder and locked his eyes with Haldir. They were pleading. “No, the last thing he said to me.”
Haldir rolled his eyes. “He whispered that in your ear, after insulting you and I will not repeat that.”
Rumil moistened his lips. “What did he call me?”
Haldir shook his head. “A silly woodelf, but don’t worry…” He stopped speaking when Rumil jumped up and hugged Haldir. “He loves me.” Haldir shook his head. /Ru’s gone nuts./
Rumil smiled. “Look, he knew insults where the only way to get through to me. Don’t you think that if he really wanted to insult me he would have said this when he can deliver far worse? And actually he really complimented me, did he not? He loves me!” Before Haldir could stop him he flew away, dashing through the corridors like a mad bunny, that was desperate not to become tonight’s supper.

End chapter 19
TBC

Translations:
Mitula means enter
Naneth atta means mother again
Ilquen qúetar te ná lá nóla ar manciëtya sinarë úcari máracarë sailatyan, nan ni litápan navë me nér aqua raica. Ailúr te ná hinlisaila tavarelda, Rumil.
Everybody keeps saying you’re so smart and how you’re present occupation doesn’t do your wisdom justice, but I’m beginning to think we were all wrong. Sometimes you are a silly woodelf, Rumil.
Ar met quetuvar meten, ohtarnya tavaro. Means And we will talk about us, my warrior of the woods