Vaniel, My Heart

Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. No monies are being made from this work. Original characters are part of the story and owned by the author.

Vaniel, My Heart
by Sienna Dawn


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Chapter 17 - In the Cold Light of Day

By dawn Elladan had roused the barkeep for an early breakfast of sausages, eggs and tomatoes. Grumblingand fussing about the kitchen, the barkeep brought steaming plates of food for his boarders, thankful they'd paid their leave and be on their way that day. He'd forgotten how disconcerting elves were.

Serving the company, the barkeep watched them eat and observed the group from his vantage point at the bar.

Seemed the Ladyship of the flaxen hair favored the tall blonde elf, judging by the way her knee was rubbing his under the table. 'Twas a shame, too, that the woman preferred the milk-faced elf. He raised his arm and wiped his nose.

That the elf was uncomfortable by the woman's interest was more than obvious, thought the barkeep. He watched the blonde elf leave the table in silence and stand guard at the door, his eyes fixed on something outside the Pony, as the grey-eyed one lowered his head to whisper into the woman's ear. The barkeep chuckled. This company would forsooth keep anyone entertained...what, with this one awantin' that one, and the other awantin' the other, and...well...he shook his head. Ain't his business, anyway. He stared at the company while he put away the glassware. What was it about elves that made men and women melt into mewling kittens? He shrugged. Not he, he mused. Give him a robust apple-cheeked wench...that was more his liking. Then, with that thought, he fixed his eye on the dark-haired she elf. Something human about that one, he decided. Too dark to be true elf. The barkeep noticed she kept her eyes averted from the group, quietly picking at her food, toying with it. Noticing that, the barkeep frowned...nothing wrong with his food, that be sure, he thought.

No, he thought, shaking his head. Glad he was to be rid of 'em. Elves and their mysteries. Not for him, he thought, remembering the shrieks from the night before...Aye, he thought...them damned shrieks and then them moans. He'd forgotten elves were a strange lot.

Taking the rag from his waist, the barkeep slid off the stool and began to wipe down the bar counter.

Soon, the company rose and silently made their way to the door of the Prancing Pony, Elladan remaining behind to nod a curt thank you to the barkeep, before opening the doors and stepping into the cold morning air.

With a relieved sigh the barkeep went about his daily chores, glad in his heart that fate had spared him further glimpses into the mysteries that elves seem to always bring with them.

Back at the stables, the steeds were mounted and within a short time, the company was ready to go.

Making for the gates of Bree, they rode in single file as they had done upon entering the city.

The day promised to be fair, clouds high on the horizon promising clear daylight for travel. The sun was warm, and the air crisp and clean.

Vaniel followed behind Aladwyn, who followed Elladan in the lead. She knew Haldir had taken the last position and was bringing up the rear.

Oblivious to her surroundings, Vaniel replayed the events of the night before, comparing in her mind what Haldir told her to what she knew, and his strange trips to Lorien. Now, that she knew his story, it all made sense. His moodiness, his silences, and even the small smiles he gave her, which always seemed on the edge of something greater, just to be pulled away at the last moment. Now Vaniel realized Haldir's heart was true and she could claim it for her own, but she also knew his heart was fragile and that she needed to proceed with care.

And yet, old uncertainties had returned to plague her, as she gave her thoughts full rein. For had she not told him she loved him? And yet, had Haldir declared his love for her?

Nay, she told herself. Not in words, he had not. Yet, she argued with herself, he had shown her tenderness, he had revealed his life to her, shown himself at his weakest. Was this, she thought, a sign of love or friendship? But, what kind of friendship, she honestly asked herself, brought her to the kind of ecstacy Haldir had done? Friendship combined with love or lust?? Now she was not so certain.

Sighing, she half turned, wishing to catch a glimpse of him but not wishing to be obvious, when she saw Eodwyn behind her.

The blonde man smiled brightly. "Ah, a beautiful day 'tis, is is not, my Lady?" His rich baritone boomed in the morning air.

Vaniel smiled and nodded, "Aye, that it is." She turned back to face front, her heart falling when she heard Eodwyn's steed gallop beside her. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts this day.

Hearing him pull up alongside, she turned to face him, hoping her eyes did not show the disppointment she felt. His green eyes pondered on her face for a moment before speaking, "If ye'd be so inclined, perhaps we could share a few leagues."

Politely, Vaniel nodded, "If you wish, Eodwyn." Marveling at his command of Sindarin, while her own Westron was still inadequate. This was a thing that disturbed Vaniel intensely. For while the company all spoke the Westernesse, and both Aladwyn and Eodwyn spoke Sindarin quite well, she herself was sorely lacking in the language of Men, save basic sentences and phrases. She knew that she had once spoken Westron fluently, but this was part of the memories that still evaded her.

The man smiled and thought he had at least managed to get this far. He was beginning to thoroughly enjoy Vaniel's company, and cursed Elladan's warning to not place himself between this fair lady and Haldir's knives.

Looking at her profile, Eodwyn thought Vaniel was a truly delicious risk. After all, he mused, neither of them were pledged and the elf was far too old for Vaniel, anyway. She was half human, his keen eyes and experience with the Eldar told him that. Vaniel had the same lifeforce and energy that humans had, like Elladan's. So different from the pale silver light of the elves. No doubt, Vaniel would be a fitting mate for the right man. Perhaps, he thought to himself, he might be the right man.

Looking at Vaniel beneath half-closed lids, he decided that he could do worse. Studying her profile silently, he was bothered by how familiar it was. And yet he knew he had not met her until the night before they departed Imladris. So why was Vaniel so familiar to him?

Just then the company passed the gates of Bree and set out South on the North-South Road which was still passsable in some areas and called the Greenway by Men and Halflings. This road they would follow toward the deserted city called Tharbad, which Vaniel knew was where she had been held captive by the Wild Men. She felt little fear and no curiosity at being taken so close to this land, though she knew their path would but merely skirt past it and she felt safe travelling with the likes of Haldir and the other elves. Thus, would the company continue South and then turn onto the West Road, past the Fords of Isen, through the Gap of Rohan and into the lands of Calenardhon, an expanse of lush green land which Men had renamed Rohan, North of the White Mountains. Here they would follow the West Road, past the Firien Wood and the Druadan Forest in Anorien. From there, the company would cross to Minas Tirith, the white city of Men, on the river Anduin. The trip was at least two weeks in duration, so they would make fair time to reach the city in time for the Spring festival.

Once the company had travelled clear of the walls of Bree, Haldir broke from the rest, urging Rohanor to pull up alongside Vaniel and Eodwyn. His intent had been to pass a few leagues in Vaniel's company, but the man's presence now made that impossible. Haldir had not missed the man's keen interest in Vaniel and wasn't sure of his intentions toward her. Just now, Haldir noticed Eodwyn gave him a sour look before it was immediately replaced with a bland smile.

"Ah, Haldir of Lorien, no news from the rear of the company?" Green eyes mocked Haldir.

But Haldir was not in a fair mood to be baited and ignored the taunt. Sad, Haldir thought, that already Men were beginning to forget the old alliances between elves and humans.

Turning his face toward Eodwyn, Haldir regarded the man cooly and answered in his loftiest demeanor. "There are no news to be had whether in the rear or the front of the company, Eodwyn of Gondor." Sapphire eyes met bright green ones.

Edowyn broke the contact, unable to hold the elf's stare. If felt to the man as if Haldir could read his thoughts. Disconcerted, he smiled wanly at Haldir and nodded, " 'Twould seem we are to be on this road for the better part of ten days. Is there not a faster route?"

Haldir shook his head. " 'Twould only be faster by river, but not at this time of the year. Even now, ice floes can be dangerous this far south."

Haldir's voice was calm and matter-of-fact, used to questions of this nature and accustomed to giving the same response for centuries. Many failed to remember that rivers in Middle Earth froze even this far south, and that sudden floods could come at any time. As it was, this road was not wholly safe from flooding river banks and so they would take the safest route, skirting away from the rivers and further inland toward the woods. Then there was also the issue of marauders who still journeyed on this land.

Haldir held Rohanor at a steady trot. "We will be moving into the woods and following the road to Rohan, but as far from the river banks as we can, though not much safety is to be had within these woods."

Haldir's eyes canvassed the area around them and he turned his face to Eodwyn as Rohanor matched the other steeds' pace. He spoke without looking at Eodwyn, letting his eyes cover the road before them. "Rogue bands of Yrch and Goblin push out of Moria after the last snow falls, and the Drunedain still patrol the southern realms of the Tharbad." At the mention of that name, Haldir's eyes moved to Vaniel's face, and he was glad to see her eyes were tranquil and steady.

Returning his gaze to Eodwyn once more, Haldir continued, ignoring the look of disbelief on the man's face, "This road is not too oft traveled this far south. The cover of woods is best for now until we have no other choice." Haldir's gaze hardened somewhat as he came to understand the silent challenge and belligerent stare on Eodwyn's face, definitely disliking what it portended. Not waiting for a response from the man, Haldir instead turned to Vaniel, his eyes softening at once. Swiftly, he remembered the taste of her mouth and the warmth of her breath and he had to fight to control himself.

Haldir met Vaniel's eyes. Her eyes gazed into his with a look full of longing and something Haldir recognized as doubt. This puzzled him and he decided to seek her out later. Haldir realized his revelations of the night were most likely heavy on her mind and heart and he did not wish to burden Vaniel. Although Haldir did not regret his honesty with her, perhaps he had revealed just too much. Elladan, was right, she was so young.

Smiling at Vaniel, letting his eyes show his affection but for a moment, Haldir slowly inclined his head toward Vaniel in silent greeting. He was pleased to see her nod her head in response, her eyes hiding a small smile. Cocking his head toward Eodwyn who had not missed the silent message between the pair, Haldir spurred Rohanor forward, passing Aladwyn who turned at the sound of his steed's approach.

Reining in his mount, Haldir fell into an easy trot beside Elladan, whose grey eyes met Haldir's with a deep amused gleam.

"Sleep well?" Elladan asked, turning to look away from Haldir so that his old friend could not see the humor there.

Haldir sighed, "Well enough."

Elladan nodded, "Did you sleep with the horses?" At this Elladan turned to face his friend, and found that Haldir was already watching him carefully.

"I told her everything." Was all Haldir said and his gaze returned to the road before them.

Elladan was surprised, but his calm demeanor revealed nothing of his sentiments, "Everything?" was all he said.

His eyes still fixed on the path before them, Haldir answered in a clear voice, "Everything."

Elladan slowly nodded and said nothing.

Many leagues later, the company stopped and made camp for the night. Elladan had chosen a secluded wood, far from the river's bank and the tall trees provided relief from the chill winds that blew down once sunset came.

While a small meal was being prepared, everyone went about their assigned chores.

Elladan gathered some wood for a small fire, while Ramion and Nithoniel broke open the supplies. Eodwyn walked apace with Elladan. Vaniel unpacked the flasks of Miruvor, which they had brought with them from Imladris. One sip apiece was enough to warm the belly of Man or Elf and it promised to be a cold night.

As Vaniel unpacked the silver flasks, she noticed Haldir breaking the seals that held the strong mithril-filled material that would serve as their tents for the night. Although she was used to sleeping under the stars and weather conditions did not affect her as it did not affect the elves of the company, she knew Edowyn and Aladwyn had complained of the cold's bitter bite and Elladan had decided to break with a single tent for them. The elves would rest, as they preferred, beneath the starlit sky.

As she worked, Vaniel noticed Aladwyn sitting close by, on a pair of tree roots, watching Haldir with a very serious look to her face. Vaniel sighed, and Haldir, hearing her, half turned to look in her direction. She nodded slightly and he smiled before returning to his work, while Vaniel brought the flasks out and began serving the ruby-hued liquid into small silver goblets that came with each flask.

Walking toward Aladwyn, Vaniel held out the Miruvor. The blonde woman frowned. " 'Tis Miruvor, to keep you warm." explained Vaniel.

Nodding, Aladwyn took the cordial and slowly sipped it as she watched Vaniel. Her blue eyes covered Vaniel's body. Vaniel watched, an amused expression on her face, but careful to hide it when Aladwyn's eyes reached hers.

"Mind you if I ask you a question?" Aladwyn began, finishing the cordial and returning the goblet.

Vaniel shook her head. "No, I do not mind," Her voice was low and throaty.

Aladwyn cocked her side to the side, "How old are you?"

Vaniel's eyebrows lifted in surprise. She had expected to be questioned about Haldir. She smiled and began pouring out another serving of the liquid for Ramion, who was approaching her. Holding the cordial to the elf, she turned to Aladwyn and answered.

"I am, by your standards, eighty-four years old." She smiled and turned to accept the goblet from Ramion, who thanked her quietly and turned back to his chores.

"As much as that." Laughed Aladwyn. "Yet, in comparison to the great age of some elves, you would still be considered quite young. Are elves not married by the time they are fifty or so?"

Vaniel nodded and calmly replied, "Yes, some are. It is our custom to marry, or at least become betrothed, between the ages of fifty and one hundred. But each elf follows his or her own path. Some never marry and some marry later in life." Her amber gaze rested serenely on Aladwyn's perfect features. She saw the woman's mouth break into a small smile.

"I see," Aladwyn responded, her blue eyes carefully studying Vaniel. "And what about you?" She asked suddenly and leaned back a little, stretching out her legs, "are you married or betrothed?"

Vaniel was amazed by the personal nature of the woman's questions, "No, I am not married nor betrothed." She saw Aladwyn take this information and internalize it.

"But, why not?" Aladwyn's eyes twinkled, "Is there not perhaps some elven warrior who strikes your fancy, or have all the good ones left for Valinor?"

Vaniel was about to respond when she heard Elladan's voice call out to her. Turning, she excused herself from Aladwyn by offering a brief nod of her head and walked toward where the grey-eyed elf stood. She noticed his eyes followed Aladwyn very carefully.

Smiling at Vaniel, Elladan held out a hand, "Some cordial for this human who is half-frozen, my Lady." Elladan's voice rang out in the growing darkness. Yet Elladan declined for himself Vaniel's offer of the warm and revitalizing drink.

Vaniel noticed Eodwyn stepped out from behind a small grove of saplings. As she offered the cordial, Eodwyn took the cup and allowed his fingers to touch hers briefly. The contact surprised Vaniel and she raised her eyes to Edowyn's. Drinking the cordial in one gulp, he returned the goblet, his eyes fixed on Vaniel's face, "Thank you." was all he said.

Taking the goblet from Eodwyn, she turned back to the rest of the company, heading toward Haldir and Nithoniel, who had yet to drink their portion of the cordial.

Elladan stood, watching Vaniel as she glided into the gloom headed toward camp. Breaking into a slow stride, he said to Eodwyn in a low voice, "Careful where you step my friend, for that bird cannot be caged." He issued the warning after having seen Eodwyn's unmistakable expression of interest in Vaniel.

Elladan heard Eodwyn snort in the dark. "He does not own her, Elladan. She is not chattel! He cannot dictate to her nor stop me from pursuing my interest."

"Just the same, he is her protector, Eodwyn." Elladan turned briefly to his old friend. "If you wish to win the Lady, you must win Haldir first. But be warned. Vaniel is not a charge he will give over willingly for he loves her."

Eodwyn's face reflected the reality of Elladan's words. He had suspected as much. The situation was far more complicated than he had at first believed. He heard Elladan's voice in the dark.

"And beside, there is more to this Lady than you know of. Best to not meddle in this, Eodwyn. Wenches aplenty there are." Elladan turned to his his friend, hoping the man had caught his meaning.

Understanding the veiled insinuation, Eodwyn caught Elladan's arm and they briefly stopped. "Think you I mean to dishonor her?" Edowyn's green eyes blazed in the dark and Elladan could well see this. "Nay! Elladan, I wish her to be my Lady! I wish to wed her!" Eodwyn's deep baritone raised itself a notch.

At this declaration Elladan knew that things were going to begin to unravel and very quickly. But Eodwyn cut him off before he was able to refute the statement.

"And there is more to my argument, beside." Whispered Eodwyn, "Is Haldir not kin to Vaniel? Do not Elvish laws forbid a union between them?"

Elladan knew Eodwyn was treading on dangerous ground and sought, in compassion and concern for his friend, to dissuade Eodwyn without fully revealing too much. "Aye, that they are, but not by blood. Haldir's cousin but raised Vaniel, and no more. Vaniel is no blood kin to Haldir, Eodwyn, thus he can still claim her under Elvish law and customs."

Elladan turned his sharp gaze toward camp when he noticed that Haldir was nowhere to be seen. Cautiously, Elladan's eyes cast about the gloom, worried now that another set of ears may be inadvertantly listening to the conversation. And he knew fully well that Haldir's hearing as well as sight far surpassed his own. The elf may be hiding anywhere and Elladan could have missed it.

A sense of doom suddenly enveloped Elladan, and shaking his head, urged Edowyn away from the spot where they stood. His voice was measured, but the words were firm, "I tell you, Eodwyn of Gondor," Elladan declared, watching his friend's face, "desist from this foolishness, for Haldir will surely take you down piecemeal, should you persist on this course of action!"

"My friend, " Elladan turned fully to face Eodwyn, knowing the man could not now see his face in the dark, but putting as much emphasis on his voice as he could, "You have stumbled into a deep mystery and it is best if you do not delve too deeply. Let them be. Let them come to their own fate."

Elladan watched Eodwyn's eyes flicker toward Vaniel once more. Slapping Eodwyn on the back, Elladan spoke in a low voice, "Come, let us eat."

Together they walked toward the camp, Eodwyn's eyes fastened on Vaniel's body. But off in the shadows, where he had placed himself to guard the perimeter, Haldir had heard the entire conversation between Elladan and the Man. And that night, while the others rested, Haldir pondered on the words he had heard.

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Key:

She-elf = A derogatory phrase used to mean a female elf. I thought it more fitting for the barkeep to use this term instead than the customary, elleth, which is the correct word for female elf.