Chain Lightning

Criminal

By

Fiona Apple

Don't you tell me to deny it,
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins.
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin.

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against
because he was all I ever knew of love.

Heaven help me for the way I am.
Save me from these evil deeds.
Before I get them done.
I know tomorrow brings the consequence
at hand.
But I keep livin' this day like
the next will never come.

Oh, help me, but don't tell me
to deny it.
I've got to cleanse myself.
of all these lies till I'm good
enough for him.
I've got a lot to lose and I'm
bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin.
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against
because he was all I ever knew of love.

Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay.
Give me room to lay the law and let me go.

I've got to make a play
to make my lover stay
So, what would an angel say?
'Cause the devil wants to know.

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal.
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I sinned against
because he was all I ever knew of love.


Chapter eighteen

Crime and Punishment

By

Ghost in the Mist



While Sean had been away Billy had tried to behave. He tried very hard to behave, but missing Sean hadn’t helped. So when Lawrence Makoare had started flirting with him, Billy had been tempted. Lawrence was a big man, a giant of a man, and very forceful, very aggressive. Billy had tried not to be tempted, but temptation was there. He hadn’t really encouraged Lawrence, but he hadn’t refused him, either.

There had been that day on location when Lawrence just hovered over Billy, hardly taking his eyes off the smaller man. Of course it escalated. Next it was Lawrence copping the occasional feel. Not in an overt way, mind, it was always a seeming “accident,” but Billy hadn’t discouraged that, either.

But things really came to a head the day he’d gotten caught by Viggo. Once more on location, Lawrence saw his chance and took it, pulling Billy behind a huge tree. He wrapped those enormous arms around Billy and Billy had not resisted. Now encouraged, Lawrence had kissed him, kissed him long and hard. Billy had thought it would feel different, that it would do to him what it did when Sean kissed him. It hadn’t.

So Billy backed away within the confines of those huge arms and said “Lawrence, I’m sorry. Really I am, and I appreciate the compliment…but I can’t do this.” Lawrence had looked disappointed, but he hadn’t gotten angry.

“There’s someone else, then?” he’d said in that deep, rumbling voice.

“I’m sorry, but yes, there is. So I just can’t. I just can’t do this.”

Lawrence had smiled at him, smiled and let one thick finger trail across the curve of Billy’s cheek. “Well, whoever your lover is, I hope they know how lucky they are. And if you ever change your mind, you’ll let me know, right?”

“Sure, yeah. No hard feelings, okay?”

Lawrence said nothing, but he bent and kissed Billy’s cheek. He smiled once again and with a playful slap to Billy’s bottom, turned and walked away.

Then Billy heard Viggo cough.

Viggo coughed and Billy went stiff as a board, his entire body rigid with fear. How long had he been standing there? How much had he seen? Would he tell Sean? How would Sean react? Billy’s head hung in shame and remorse. Viggo had only shaken his head, a look of disapproval on his face, and walked away leaving Billy in a pit of guilt, shame and regret.

Two days later Billy had awakened to find Sean beside him, home days before he was expected. Billy had been so surprised and so touched that he hadn’t even thought of the incident. Sean had pulled him into an embrace and they had made love, really made love. Later they had had a long talk and then he had gotten Sean to take him to bed. Billy was never quite sure how Sean did it, but he could make him melt when they touched, and Sean had finally broken down, his defenses dropped, and Billy could see that Sean had revealed himself to Billy, revealed himself in a way that few had seen. Sean, never given to tears easily, had actually wept. The honesty was almost brutal, and Billy knew then this was forever, and he had told Sean so.

“I guess this is forever, then, Daddy.”

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.” Sean answered.

“I do mean it, Sean. I mean it with all my heart.” And he did mean it; he meant it, only he found he couldn’t look Sean in the eye. He couldn’t look Sean in the eye because he was thinking of that kiss with Lawrence and feeling rather less than honest.

“Sean?” he said, raising his face, trying to look into those
opalescent, beautiful eyes. God, but Sean was just fucking gorgeous.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Sean, we talked about honesty, right? And you were honest with me, and, and… I… I have something to tell you. Because I can’t go into anything this serious if I’m not honest, honest with myself and honest with you.”

Sean said nothing, but gave Billy his full attention, his face inscrutable, giving nothing away. Right. Well, best to get this over with.

“Sean, I… while you were gone, that is, I… I let someone kiss me.” Billy said in a rush, his voice hushed with shame and regret.

“Lawrence? I already knew about that, baby. And I’m proud of you that you stopped before anything went any further.” Sean placed his fingers under Billy’s chin and lifted his face, then cupped it gently but firmly.

“How?” Billy asked. “Was it Viggo?”

“Of course it was Viggo, babe, but don’t think I wouldn’t have found out sooner or later. It’s no secret, the way Lawrence looks at you.” Sean said. His face was still unreadable, still inscrutable. Billy didn’t know why, but it made him shiver. “Now I’m glad you told me and I’m very proud of you for being honest enough that I didn’t have to bring it up…but I want to know something.” Sean
still held Billy’s face firmly, so it was impossible to look away or look down.

“What, Sean? What do you want to know?” Billy said, his voice tremulous in spite of all efforts to control it.

“What am I to do about this?” Sean said. “I can’t exactly just let it slide, now can I?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m sorry, Sean, really I am. It won’t happen again.”

“No, it certainly had better not happen again, Billy. But that doesn’t solve my problem, now does it? What am I to do about this?”

Billy looked at Sean, looked at him hard. There was some kind of hard edge to Sean’s voice. Billy hadn’t heard that in Sean’s voice before. All he could say was “I don’t know. I don’t know what you should do about it.”

Sean was starting to look wolf-like again, hungry and possessive. And he was fast, so fast Billy hadn’t seen it coming. Suddenly he was lying across Sean’s lap face down and his behind was burning with a rain of blows.

Spanking?

He was being spanked? Well this was certainly new.

And it hurt! Billy squirmed, instinctively trying to move away from the stinging pain, but Sean was strong, Sean was very strong and apparently skilled in this sort of thing because he used one arm and his legs to manipulate Billy to a better position than before. The blows rained down on his bottom mercilessly.

“Don’t you fucking ever think of cheating on me again!” Sean growled.

“Sean, stop it! Damn it, that hurts!”

“It’s supposed to hurt, baby, that’s why it’s called ‘punishment.’”

Billy started kicking his legs in an effort to get loose. His bum was really burning now. How long was this going to go on? The harder he struggled, the firmer Sean’s grip on him was and the harder and swifter came the blows to his backside.

“Sean, damn it, that hurts! Ow, damn it, Sean!”

Sean could see Billy’s perfect little bubble of an arse turning bright pink now. It made Billy’s behind look all the more tempting. “Be still, you little shit.” Sean commanded. “You deserve this and you’re going to take it until you’ve had
enough.”

Again and again Sean’s hand slapped Billy’s upturned bottom. Billy wasn’t struggling so much now but this did nothing to slow down the punishing blows.

Only when Sean heard the first sniffles did he begin to slow down, and when heheard what he was waiting for, a deep sob, he stopped. He let his hand rest lightly on the reddened curve of Billy’s sweet little bottom. The flesh felt
satisfyingly hot.

“I – I’m s – sorry, Sean, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I promise!” Billy sniffled.

Sean raised Billy up and sat him in his lap. “You better not do it again, baby. In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m very possessive and very jealous.”

“I won’t, I won’t do it again, really I won’t. And I’ll make it up to you, I promise, Sean, I will, if you’ll just…oh fuck!” Billy sniffled. He threw his arms around Sean’s neck and kissed Sean, kissed him hard and hungrily. Sean moved his hand from Billy’s thigh to his crotch. Billy was fully erect and he seemed to be pressing his hot little behind against Sean.

Sean slid his hand around Billy’s hip and under his behind. Billy's behind, still a quite bright pink, felt heated and heavenly. Sean moved his hand a little more and let his fingers slide into Billy from underneath. Billy squirmed once more,this time from pleasure mixed with pain. Billy moaned into Sean’s mouth as Sean pushed Billy onto his back. He roughly grabbed Billy’s legs and parted them. Sean slicked himself up with lube, lined himself up and pushed, burying his cock inside Billy almost instantly. Billy’s legs went around his waist.

“Oh fuck, Sean, fuck me, please, fuck me.” Billy panted.

“I think my little slut liked that spanking, hmm?” Sean taunted.

“Damn you, Sean, I’ll show you how much I liked it. I’m going to fuck your brains out.” Billy said, his voice like gravel. “I never knew, Sean, I never knew it could be like this, and now that I do you better be ready to keep up
with me.” Billy’s legs tightened around Sean’s waist. Sean felt the perfect little body beneath him undulate.

“Insatiable little thing,” Sean said, “Shameless little shit, you can’t get enough, can you? You fucking love it, don’t you?”

“Love it? Fuck, Sean, give it to me, fuck me, let me show you how much I can take, Daddy. You can’t fuck me hard enough. I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll forget all about how bad I was. I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll forgive me.”

Billy wriggled beneath Sean, grinding his hips in hungry little circles. Sean was so turned on from their little rough playing that when he was finally inside that hot little body the pleasure was so intense it was almost painful, and
Billy was now so turned on it was everything Sean could do to keep up with his profane little angel.

Billy came quickly and intensely and still he wanted more. Billy was demanding, unable to control himself in the least. He was like some wild little creature beneath Sean, writhing and bucking, grasping and greedy. Sean’s cock was so
engorged it nearly hurt. Billy fucked Sean, fucked him so hard and with so much hunger that when Sean came it set Billy off again. Sean felt like he was being pulled inside that hot little body. That was how powerful Billy’s climax was, and the unforgiving body clenched around Sean’s cock, so tight and so demanding that when Sean came he felt it from head to toe. Sean collapsed on Billy, pinning him firmly to their bed.

“God, baby, how do you do it?” Sean gasped. “How do you make it so I can’t get enough of you? God, I want to fuck you every way humanly possible and then find new ways to fuck you. Christ, I came so hard I thought I was going to die.”

“You still mad with me, Daddy?” Billy said, stroking Sean’s face.

“How could anybody be mad after that?” Sean laughed.

“Then you aren’t going to spank me again?” Billy said, kissing the corner of Sean’s mouth. “Well, that’s disappointing. I guess I’ll have to find a way to be
a bad boy.”

“Jesus, I’ve created a monster.” Sean laughed again.

“No you haven’t. You just knew it was there all along, you knew I wanted it. But now that you’ve made me see it in myself, well, you’ll just have to look out for me, won’t you? You’ll have to keep an eye on me. Because I can be a very naughty boy sometimes, Sean. And now I have a whole new reason to be a naughty boy.”

“And when you’re bad, you’re damn good, baby. Just you don’t forget that I’ll be looking out after you. And by the way, thank you for being a bad boy. I love it, baby.”

“I think I’d rather be spanked than thanked, Sean.”

“Oh fuck, what have I done?” Sean said.

“What is it, Sean? You too old to keep up with me?” Billy said saucily.

“Too… why you smartass little shit, you’re begging for it, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I am. And I’m going to get it, too. Even if I have to be bad to get it.”

“You won’t have to be bad to get it, baby. You’re going to get it, plenty and often. And by someone who knows just how to do it.”

Billy grinned his profanely angelic grin. “Is that a threat?” he asked.

“No, it’s a promise.” Sean said, and gave Billy a kiss so intense it was almost punishing. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way there’s something else I want to talk about, Billy baby.”

“What, Sean-Daddy?”

“Promises.” Sean said, suddenly quite sober. “I want to talk about promises. I want to talk about forever. I want us to hook up, really hook up, Billy baby. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours.”

“Sean, you sound like you’re popping the question.” Billy grinned, grinned so damnably adorable Sean just had to kiss him again.

“I am, Billy baby. Will you? Will you be mine, Billy? Are you willing to make a commitment?”

Billy was silent for some time, studying Sean’s face, as if looking for sincerity, and he must have found what he wanted, because he kissed Sean softly,tenderly, melting in Sean’s arms. “God, yes, Sean, I will, I do, I’ll make any
promise you want. Just say the word.”

Sean smiled and kissed Billy again. “Alright,” he said, “I will say the word. I love you, Billy, I love you and I need you and I want you, I want you to be mine. I guess you can call it anything you like, but at the end of the day it amounts to the same thing. Marry me, baby. It may not be legal, but I still want it. I want us to be an us. So I’m asking you, hell, I’ll beg you if that’s what it takes. Marry me, baby. Please?”

Billy wrapped his arms tightly around Sean’s neck and kissed him long and slow. When the kiss finally broke, so did Sean’s heart, it broke with happiness. “I will, Sean. I’ll take whatever kind of union I can get. I’m saying ‘yes,’ Sean. I can’t do anything else, not when I love you as much as I do. I’m yours, Sean. I’m all yours.”