When least expected

Chapter fourteen The morning after

Isil once more gave way to Anar and silver light, that had illuminated the forest slowly changed to gold as Anar grew in strength.

Haldir groaned as the rays reached his eyes. He shut them to block out the light and tried to turn onto his other side. But a body pressed to his own prevented the movement and another groan left his lips. He opened his eyes to see who was sharing his bed only to realise he wasn’t in his bed. A bright big smile crept onto Haldir’s face as he saw who was holding him.

He remembered how everything had changed, when he hadn’t thought it was possible. He remembered how they had first made love. He closed his eyes to call back the image of Celeborn straddling him. It had meant the world to Haldir to be taking first. It had killed his doubts and fears. But still, somewhere in the back of his head he still feared loosing Celeborn. He wisely choose to ignore it though.

He opened his eyes again and smiled at the image. Celeborn was sound asleep, his empty eyes fixed on Haldir, arms and legs wrapped possessively and protectingly around Haldir. When they had fallen asleep the embrace had been two-sided but during the night Haldir’s arms had moved. But now he replaced them, gently as so not to awaken his sleeping lover.

After the doctor had left business had called them both away, Haldir still limping around. Celeborn would have tied Haldir to a chair, but he had understood Haldir needed to see his brothers again and get action, even if it was on a practice field, so he had reluctantly allowed Haldir his ‘walk’, promising to make Haldir repay the kindness. At first Haldir hadn’t known what to make of that remark, whether his lord had really meant it or that it had been merely a joke. It was that more than anything that had made him stay with his brothers during dinner. He so wanted to go back, but he dreaded it.

And when he finally did come back into the room two strong arms immediately snaked around him the second he entered. “I was about to send a search party for you, my love.” Before he had been able to reply Celeborn stood in front of him, hands still around the waist and kissed him passionately. “It’s time to pay.” were the only words Celeborn had said to him as he was guided to the bed, where they made love again. Only this time Celeborn was taking him. Haldir smiled as he remembered how gentle Celeborn had been.

In his sleep Celeborn sighed and that brought Haldir back to the present. He adored the way Celeborn looked right now. His lips protruding a bit. To Haldir they seemed the colour of strawberries and right now they were too delicious to withstand. He leaned in closer to take them.

Instantly Celeborn awoke, his eyes flashing to awareness. For a second he wanted to push away whoever was being so brutal, but he instantly recognized Haldir’s scent and touch and he returned the kiss, deepening it. Only lack of air drew them apart.

Celeborn smiled. “Sin ná i-nayalillor ni oi tuvunë” Haldir blushed and lowered his eyes. Celeborn brushed his thumb over Haldir’s cheekbones. “Úman navë ilesta aqua, ilsardëa lótenya” He pulled Haldir in for another warming kiss.

A knock from the door interrupted them. “I am sorry, my lord,” Rielle’s voice called through the door, “but the silver smith is awaiting your instructions.”

Celeborn sighed. The day was about to begin. “All right, Rielle, I’ll be right there. Thank you for telling me.” He disentangled himself from Haldir before he could change his mind. “I am sorry, Cuilenya, but I have to go speak to him. Although staying in bed with you is much more enticing.”

Haldir refrained from reaching out and pulling him back. He wanted Celeborn to remain, but he knew he had to give his lover up.

As Celeborn got dressed he failed to notice the small tears that crept down Haldir’s cheeks. When he did look over to the bed Haldir had shifted position and was now laying on his stomach. He had wanted to say something, but he thought Haldir had gone back to sleep and refrained from doing so and silently left and closed the door.

The moment the footsteps were fading away Haldir let out his tears. He had just realised his horrible truth. He would never really have Celeborn. During the day Celeborn would be lord of ‘Lóriën and not Haldir’s lover. It was only when Isil shines that Haldir could have him. He called out to the Valar in despair. “Ántëanyel hwalca umbar manna ve sin? Ántëaro manna perina?” He swallowed a choke before he yelled. “Why give him half?” He turned and faced the ceiling, not caring if he ever did anything again. In this bed he was happy. Celeborn’s scent was woven with the linen and the bed. If he stayed in bed he could at least pretend his love was still with him. He closed his eyes and pretended they were both taking a walk through the woods.

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Elladan looked at Elrohir. His brother was unusual quiet and he didn’t like it one bit. He knew something was wrong, but his twin refused to talk about it. He sighed, glad that they were on their way to ‘Lóriën. He hoped that their grandfather might have more luck. They could already see the trees and he smiled.

“I wonder how time has inflicted fair ‘Lóriën.” Elrohir mused out loud. His voice was sad. It drove a dagger into Elladan’s heart.

Suddenly Elladan stopped his horse. Something was different to the trees. Elrohir halted and looked at him with questioning eyes. Elladan merely pointed ahead, unable to voice his astonishment. Elrohir looked but turned back to his brother, unable to see what his twin had seen, and cocked hea head. Elladan smiled. “The trees, they shine bright. Is it me or do they shine brighter than before?”

But Elrohir shook his head. “I doubt it. It’s more likely that the trees have lost some rather than gained by Galadriel’s departure. Let’s hurry, dawn will be upon us soon.”

“You are right, as always. I wonder what kind of a reception we will get.”

“I hope they don’t use Mirkwood wine anymore. I don’t think I’ll be able to bear it any more”

They laughed as they spurred their horses forwards, scanning the woods for others, preferably elves.
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Haldir flew up as the door to the room flung upon and revealed a flustered and panting Rumil. Rumil ignored his brother and didn’t notice his inconvenience. “Lord Celeborn? My lord?” He groaned in annoyance when he found the lord not present and turned to leave, but a pillow hitting his head stopped him and he briskly turned around.

“Thanks for not seeing me, brother.” Haldir’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. “He’s not here, and what’s wrong? Why do you come bashing in here?” He clumsily got to his feet and realised it would be some more days before he could really walk around.

Rumil hurried over and supported him. “Get back in bed, or on a chair. You are not walking, you hear me?” He ignored his brother’s glares and helped Haldir to sit down on the bed. “Nothing’s wrong. Elladan and Elrohir are coming and I wanted to inform our lord of that.”
He chuckled when he realised his brother was still undressed. “My, my, we are getting lazy, aren’t we?” Another glare from Haldir nearly drove him into a laughing fit but he sensed something was wrong. He straitened himself and studied his brother, who was now waiting for the inevitable question. “You look better,” Rumil started, “and yet….Something is wrong.” It was a statement. He sat down next to his brother and put his arm around the shoulders. “Tell me.”

Haldir sighed. He didn’t know if he could tell. If he even wanted to hear himself say it. But he had to, Rumil wouldn’t leave before he had told him the truth. “We made love”

Rumil jumped up. His eyes full of joy for his brother but then saw he was the only one with a smile on his face and sank back down. “But…?” There had to be something, otherwise his brother would never be so sad. He hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was.

Haldir slumped his shoulders. “He leaves me.” Rumil was about to go into a rage when a voice from the door interrupted.

“Haldir, do you have a moment, I….” Celeborn trailed of when he saw the scene. “O dear, I seem to be interrupting a brotherly talk. It’ll wait. Later.” He was about to turn when he saw Haldir’s sad face. It made him freeze. He so wanted to approach his lover but he didn’t know if Rumil knew about them already and the last thing he wanted was to embarrass Haldir.

Rumil was about to go after Celeborn and give him a piece of his mind when he felt Haldir rise from the bed. His eyes widened as he saw his brother stumble towards the departing elf. It took him a while before he realised what Haldir was doing but then he acted. He could not let Haldir loose his dignity in such a manner. He stood and went after his brother, intending to stop him, but Celeborn got to him first.

Haldir sagged against his lover with a goofy smile on his face, unable to stop the tears from rolling down, so glad was he to see his lover now. Celeborn pulled him to his body, rubbing soothing circles over his back. “What happened?” When Haldir didn’t answer he decided to take Haldir’s mind away from whatever it was. He pulled back, holding Haldir in front of him and looked at him proudly. “Haldir, you walked! You walked! Alone, unaided.” The smile he sent Haldir could rival the sun. “Won’t be long now before you can practise your fighting again. Though try not to do so at night.” The sexual innuendo was clear and, uncaring about Rumil’s reaction, he kissed his lover passionately.

Haldir melted against him and released a soft yelp when he felt himself lifted. He looked at Celeborn in surprise and anger. He did not wish to be carried. “Indulge me. Soon you can walk on your own and then I have no excuse to cradle you in my arms.”

Celeborn walked over to a large chair and sat down, making Haldir comfortable on his lap, sending Rumil a bemused smile, whose eyes had widened even further during the exchange. “I am sorry you had to find out like this, Rumil, but….” He was stopped mid-sentence when Rumil spoke. “Elladan and Elrohir are coming this way, my lord. Goodbye.” His voice was angry. He turned to leave but a scream stopped him.

“RUMIL!” Rumil actually jumped three foot in the air, surprised at Haldir’s reaction, who looked at him angry. Lips drawn to a tight line he rose himself once more, gratefully accepting the hidden support Celeborn offered. “Get back and apologize.” He shot Celeborn a look that told him not to interfere.

He obliged, wondering what was going on. Rumil had said what he came for and Celeborn figured the younger brother wanted to leave them alone; give them some privacy. But Haldir knew better. He shot daggers from his eyes to his brother.

Rumil whitened. He had never seen his brother act like this. “I am sorry Haldir, but I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Now it was Celeborn with the widening eyes.

“Hurt?” Haldir spat. “What do you know of -my- pain? If you do something like this again, -brother-, I will make you pay.” Exhaustion got the better of him and he collapsed.

Celeborn acted instantly and wrapped his arms around his falling lover, pulling him to his own body. He looked at Rumil, who resembled a little child being told off by it’s parents. “Can you please inform me what is going on here, Rumil? What is Haldir talking about?” His voice was calm and soft, but there was a dangerous undertone, that all who knew him recognized. Whenever the undertone was there, you’d better not oppose him.

Rumil swallowed. He had heard this voice many of times but never before was this tone directed at him and he suddenly understood the shaking elves standing before a infuriated Celeborn. He wanted to answer but he didn’t know how. Haldir saved him. “It’s all right. A brotherly quarrel.” The words were whispered and he had his eyes closed, sagging up the sensation of being in Celeborn’s arms again. “It didn’t sound like one to me.” Celeborn said, but he was already mellowing. Haldir had that effect on him.

Rumil snorted. “If you’ll excuse me,” disdain and sarcasm filled his voice, “I’ve got somewheo beo be. And I am sure you have something better to do as well, my lord.” He turned and Haldir looked at the confused Celeborn apologetically but Celeborn smiled back at him, shaking his head, silently telling Haldir he did not have to apologize for Rumil’s weird behaviour. Rumil was almost out the door but turned and gave his canon shot. “You better treat my brother better than this picture shows, for he is no whore.”

Haldir grew red and would have run, or in this case hobbled, after his brother, but Celeborn’s hold tightened. He snapped his head around, anger in his eyes, daring Celeborn to stop him. “Rumil is only concerned about you, Haldir. Wouldn’t you be concerned about him? And you must admit the picture is somewhat shady.” Haldir’s eyes narrowed and Celeborn merely lowered his eyes.

Following the other’s eyes Haldir began to laugh. For the first time he realised he was still completely naked, naked and sitting in Celeborn’s fully clothed lap. “I thought it was getting it a bit draughty.” Celeborn smiled and planted a loving kiss on his forehead. “I have something for you and I want to give it now, before the twins arrive. They’ll probably undo us all.” He stood and walked to the desk near the door, where he had left the item earlier. On the way there he threw Haldir a robe.

He held out the wrapped object before Haldir. His seriousness was back and Haldir could see there was some fear in those beautiful orbs. He hesitantly opened the gift and nearly let it fall when he saw what it was. His eyes widened in disbelief and he rubbed his hand along it in admiration. “I am glad you like it. I want you to use it always in the hope it will bring you back to me in one piece.”

Haldir smiled, his eyes not leaving the beautiful carved sword. “I…I never had a sword like this. I’ve never seen one before. I only heard of them in tales. I…I can’t except it.”

Celeborn’s eyes filled with silent tears. “Why not?”

Haldir shrugged. “Because it isn’t mine. It belonged to one of the ancient ones and I would feel dirty for using it.”

“Nay Haldir. Read.”

Haldir didn’t see any writings but remembering the tales he knew there had to be signs on the other side of the blade. He turned it around and saw the writings:
Varno, Macil Haldirwa o ‘Lóriën, Minë tiro, Voronda, Nestar, Galadhrim ar Celebhrim. Anëron ve hantalë Celebornenen, híru o ‘Lóriën.

Tears filled his eyes and he started shaking his head. Celeborn gently wiped the tears away. “I love you, Haldir. I couldn’t think of a better way to show it.”

All fear and doubt now really did leave Haldir and he fell into Celeborn’s arms, crying happily. Everything was alright now.

As much as Celeborn loved to remain like this, they couldn’t. “I’m sorry, melmë, but the twins are due to arrive. We should welcome them.”

End chapter fourteen
TBC

Translations:

Sin ná i-nayalillor ni oi tuvunë means that’s the best wake up call I ever had (read: was given)
Note: i-nayalillor : I composed this word, because a wake-up call is not attested. I-na means the best and yalillor is composed of yal- to call; lor- to dream and il- is the opposite of the verb. So literally a call not to dream.

Úman navë ilesta aqua, ilsardëa lótenya means I don’t think I’m fully awake yet, my delicate flower
Note: there is no verb attested for being awake so I had to take verbs for sleep, rest or slumber and put il- in front. That suffix denies the word in such a way it becomes the opposite. The same goes for ilsardëa. Sardëa means hard and is the opposite of delicate.

Ántëanyel hwalca umbar manna ve sin? Ántëaro manna perina? Means Why do you give me such a cruel fate? Why give him half?

Varno, Macil Haldirwa o ‘Lóriën, Minë tiro, Voronda, Nestar, Galadhrim ar Celebhrim. Anëron ve hantalë Celebornenen, híru o ‘Lóriën. Means Protector, sword of Haldir of ‘Lóriën, March Warden, Voronda*, Nestar*, Galadhrim* and Celebhrim*. Gifted to him in thanks by Celeborn, Lord of ‘Lóriën.
* these are titles and I am inclined not to translate them, but if you have forgotten their meaning: chapter 8 and chapter 1.