An uir

Chapter 15.

While he was waiting, Glorfindel took a closer look at the King. How heartbreakingly beautiful he was! He seemed so young and vulnerable. Glorfindel couldn’t stop his longing to stroke Thranduil’s long silvery locks; they felt incredibly soft under his hand. He watched the king’s beautiful face, too pale for his liking, and he noticed dark circles under his eyes. It seemed that the King hadn’t sleep very well lately.

Finally, Thranduil flinched and Glorfindel expected him to wake, but Thranduil only became restless and started to mumble. It took Glorfindel quite a long time before he understood, and his self-loathing and guilt grew with every passing moment. He leaned closer, tears in his eyes, and took Thranduil in his arms, rocking him.

“Why won’t he leave me be? Why, when he hates… Why? I’m a fool… fool for loving him so…” Thranduil murmured, tossing around restlessly. Every word that escaped from his lips was a new stab straight into Glorfindel’s heart.

“How I have hurt you… How could I be so cruel? I don’t hate you, I love you…love you.” He sobbed, kissing Thranduil’s cheek. Glorfindel had never despised himself so much as he did now. Hadn’t he seen how Erestor had suffered because of Elrond and still he denied his feelings, hurting the one he was meant to love. Now he finally admitted to himself that he had loved the King since the very first moment he had laid his eyes upon him.

Thranduil tried to open his eyes but found that he didn’t want to. He was so comfortable at the moment. He felt warm, safe and loved. He never wanted to wake up and face the cruel and cold reality, knowing full well that this wonderful feeling was only a beautiful dream… too good to be true. He smiled happily when he felt a soft kiss upon his cheek and husky voice that whispered to him lovingly. He wondered why his cheek felt so damp. He hadn’t wept, had he? Finally, he opened his eyes thinking that this dream had to end, despite how painful it felt.

His heart started to race when he found that it was Glorfindel who had held him so lovingly. He gathered all his willpower to keep his face straight and started to pull away. Much to his surprise, Glorfindel didn’t let him go but tightened his grip instead.

“Let me go, now.” Thranduil commanded with a low voice, making Glorfindel’s misery all the more deep.

“Thranduil… my King, don’t go. Listen to me, saes.” Glorfindel begged.

“Why should I do that? I think that we have said everything necessary. You have made your feelings very clear, Lord Glorfindel.” Thranduil said coldly, struggling to get away.

“No! I’m so sorry for letting you believe that I didn’t want you. I don’t deserve a new chance but listen to me… saes.”

Reluctantly, Thranduil met Glorfindel’s gaze and was surprised when he saw beautiful azure eyes full of tears.

“You are crying. Why?” He asked, stunned.

“I’m crying because I have hurt you and myself too, letting you to believe that I don’t care about you. I know that I have no right to ask your forgiveness, but I want to at least explain why I did what I did.”

Thranduil couldn’t believe his ears. Was it possible that Glorfindel cared about him, after all? He didn’t dare believe it, not yet.

“Why, then? Why did you leave me like that if you really care about me as you now say? Why should I believe you?” He said hesitantly, trying to see the truth in Glorfindel’s eyes.

“I left you because I am but a miserable coward! That’s why. I didn’t dare believe that I have finally found the one I was meant to be with. I held onto the past and found only emptiness and pain there. In doing so, I also hurt you. That is the one thing I never can forgive myself for.” Glorfindel whispered sadly.

Thranduil was silent for a long time. He had to consider Glorfindel’s words carefully. He didn’t try to struggle away anymore and that gave some hope to Glorfindel. Even if Thranduil never could forgive him, he had finally been honest with his feelings.

“So… what are your feelings, then?”

The question stated with a quiet voice, almost too quiet but Glorfindel heard it anyway. His breath caught. This was the moment of truth.

“I love you, and I have loved you since I first laid my eyes upon you,” He simply said, staring straight into Thranduil’s beautiful eyes and letting all his love blaze through his gaze.

Thranduil was stunned. It felt like a dream to hear those words after so much heartache. How he had hoped, wanted, waited for this moment and now it had happened. It took quite a long time before he could say something. When he finally recovered, he found Glorfindel crying desperately.

“Don’t cry, meleth nín. I love you too and I could never leave you.” Thranduil whispered, leaning closer. Glorfindel raised his head and Thranduil’s heart almost burst with joy when he saw the warrior’s hopeful gaze.

“Could it be? Is it possible that you could forgive me?” Glorfindel asked, daring not to believe his luck.

“I forgive you. I love you so much, you know.” Thranduil assured, smiling gently.

“Thranduil… meleth nín.” Glorfindel whispered, pulling his meleth into an earth shattering kiss. He moaned when he felt Thranduil’s powerful, aroused body atop him. How he loved that feeling, wanting all barriers between them to be gone. Glorfindel tried to catch his breath when they finally broke the kiss, and he saw that Thranduil was also breathing heavily and his pupils were dilated.

Glorfindel gathered his thoughts for a moment. They had to talk first, before they could throw caution to the wind.

“Thranduil, I have to know, what do you want now? I’m yours if you want but what about you? Do you want me?”

Thranduil hesitated before answering.

“I… want you. I want you more than I have ever wanted anything. But…” He stopped, without knowing how to tell Glorfindel about his decision.

“Tell me, meleth. I want nothing more than to make love with you but only if that is what you want too. I would wait if you are not ready.” Glorfindel said softly, wondering about Thranduil’s obvious uneasiness.

“It’s just… I cannot allow you to take me.” Thranduil finally said, blushing.

“Would you tell me, why?” Glorfindel asked, surprised. He studied Thranduil’s face and saw an unusually vulnerable expression on his face.

“I have always wished that when I yield to someone like that, he would be my bonded mate.” Thranduil explained, blushing even deeper.

Glorfindel stared at his love, stunned.

“But…you haven’t ever been bonded…” He stuttered.

“… with a male. You are right.” Thranduil admitted, looking worriedly into Glorfindel’s eyes. He trembled, wondering if it was wise to make himself this vulnerable.

“Oh, meleth! I respect your wish. I don’t want to steal so precious a gift from you. But there are many more ways to love each other, if you are willing.”

“You know I am. But nothing could make me happier than to join our faer (souls) and bodies together, forever.”

“Meleth! Are you… proposing to me?” Glorfindel asked, smiling happily.

“Aye! I do.” Thranduil managed to say before he was pulled into passionate kiss.

“I say aye! I won’t let you go again. Never.” Glorfindel whispered, between their kisses. His heart sang; his longing and pain disappeared when he finally had his meleth where he belonged, in his arms, forever.

“Maybe I should go now.” Thranduil said finally, after many heated kisses and caresses. His self-control had weakened so much that he couldn’t trust himself.

“Oh no you don’t, meleth! I said I won’t let you go, ever.” Glorfindel purred, with a sensual voice, making Thranduil weak with need.

“But… I can’t… I told you,” Thranduil tried to say but was silenced with a kiss.

“I know you can’t and I swore to respect your wish, but I can. I want you to make love to me, now.”

Thranduil’s whole being was on fire. Glorfindel’s powerful body pressed against his own, making him to tremble.

“Are… are you sure? If I make you mine, you will be mine till the end of Arda.” Thranduil asked, giving Glorfindel one final chance to reconsider.

“I am sure. I want to be yours, forever.” Glorfindel answered without hesitation and there was the final seal to the bond, which would last until the end of times and beyond.

Slowly, gently they started to undress each other, anticipating that moment when their bodies and faer would be finally one.