Lim Aear

Author's Note: I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed, but also all of you who haven't, for taking the time to read my story... You don't know how important this is for me. Anyway, this is an extra long chapter for some extra patience on your part... My exams are over on Monday and it will take me sometime before my life gets back to its normal rhythm, so I don't know when I will update. It could be next week or it could very well be next month. In any case, I decided to leave you a nice, quite interesting chapter to read! ;-)

Disclaimer: See Prologue.

italics: thoughts

[translations]


Chapter 13


Elaine slowly woke up to find out she was laying down. She was not on a horse anymore. She opened her eyes, startled, but closed them again as the bright light of a fire blinded her. A shadow appeared over her and after blinking a few times, she opened her eyes again lazily to find Belwen looking at her smiling.

"You have woken up, finally! I thought you would sleep until we reached Lothlórien!"

She laughed merrily and turned around to shuffle through a bag, taking out something wrapped in flat, green leaves. Elaine pushed herself up, leaning her upper body against a tree trunk. She pulled her knees to her chest and laid her cheek on them smiling a little embarrassed.

"Here, eat some lembas. It is near sunset, you must be hungry."

Elaine took the small piece of what seemed like bread from her hands. She looked at it for a moment trying to figure out what it was.

"How long was I asleep?" she asked Belwen and took a bite hesitantly. Her eyebrows rose in surprise. It was actually very tasty!

"A long time! You didn't even wake up when Prince Legolas got you off the horse and brought you under this tree!"

Elaine blushed at the sound of Belwen's melodic laughter and took another bite of the lembas piece to find out she was actually full. She put it down carefully on the flat leaves and shook any crumbles off her hands.

"Yeah, well... I sleep quite soundly..."

Belwen laughed again but when she noticed Adanoth staring at her from the other side of the camp, she stopped and looked down shyly. Elaine raised an eyebrow at her reaction and bit her lip.

Oh, this will be fun.

"I think Adanoth was staring at you in THAT way", she said in a whisper to Belwen and suppressed a chuckle at Belwen's mask of indifference.

"I am afraid I do not understand; in what way?"

Elaine slipped her hand under her T-shirt and pretended it was a heart beating. She cocked her head to the side and took a dreamy look on her face. She burst out laughing at Belwen's wide eyes and she could swear the elf's cheeks had turned a bright red. Belwen got up and offered a flask to Elaine.

"Here, have some wine!" she said in a high-pitched voice and fled away.

Elaine's laughter slowly died down and she looked around searching for Legolas. He was nowhere in sight. She shifted uncomfortably. She didn't like being alone among all those elves. Although she had met all who were traveling in their group and had befriended Belwen and Adanoth, she still hadn't got used to the fact that she was in the company of so many immortal beings.

Two large hands covered her eyes and somebody kissed her cheek tenderly. She knew immediately who it was as their scent enveloped her and their warmth made her heart skip a bit.

"My little star is finally awake", Legolas murmured against her hair, breathing in their scent of flowers.

Elaine leaned her head back to look at him standing above her.

"Where did you go?" she asked pouting.

Resisting the urge to nibble on that pink bottom lip, he pulled her up gracefully and started walking away from the clearing they had set camp on towards the woods.

"I'll show you."

Elaine shot him a questioning glance but chose to remain silent and follow him. Legolas, holding her hand, was leading her deep into the forest, passing over fallen tree trunks, helping her through the wild tree roots protruding from the ground. Elaine thought she heard the sound of water in the distance and soon her thoughts were confirmed when the trees started clearing and a small stream appeared. The few remaining rays of light created a magical atmosphere around the small pool formed at the bottom of the waterfall from where the stream had originated. She leaned her head to the side, witnessing the magic of the elves. She hadn't believed Legolas at first when he had asked him about the source of light in Lim Aear. He had simply answered that it was the magic of the elves, but she had dismissed the idea as irrational. Yet walking in the city of Lim Aear and traveling through the thick vegetation of its forest, she realised it was indeed a magical place. After all, they were several feet underground.

She squinted her eyes trying to figure out the faint light behind the waterfall. She looked at Legolas questioningly but he just motioned towards the waterfall.

"This water comes from a river high above on the upper world. It travels through the rocks and springs out from up there." He pointed to the source of the waterfall as they started walking towards the roaring water. "This small stream ends up in the Lake, the Lim Aear. It is fed by several such streams from above."

"It's beautiful", Elaine whispered afraid she would destroy the magical feeling around her by speaking loudly.

Legolas smiled mischievously.

"You have seen nothing yet, ël tithen nín.” [my little star]

Elaine smiled hearing her elvish endearment and followed Legolas carefully on the rocks next to the waterfall. Legolas lead her around another rock and pulled some branches from a great weeping willow to the side, revealing a passage behind the waterfall. Elaine stepped in carefully and looked at the small cave forming inside awe-struck: the cave had the size of a small room and was illuminated by the soft light of candles placed strategically; she noticed a basket with food, a bottle of wine and two glasses standing on a hollow in the rocky wall at the far end of the cave, just above a rocky pedestal covered in furs.

Elaine let out the breath she never realised she was holding. She tried to open her mouth but her voice failed her.

I can’t be awake. It is a dream, certainly. Such places cannot exist.

She snapped out her daze when Legolas embraced her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. She felt tears sting her eyes at the beauty in front of her. It was one of those unexpected moments when you discover beauty amidst an ugly, colourless and tasteless jungle of a world; you are reminded that you’re still human and not some wild beast struggling to survive.

“I hope you like it”, Legolas said in a whisper and looked at her profile trying to read her reaction.

A small gasp escaped her when her mind registered that Legolas had made all this for her. She turned around in his embrace to face him.

“You did this for me?” she asked wonder filling her voice.

He nodded smiling.

She covered her face with her hands. He shouldn’t make her feel so special… She had promised to herself she wouldn’t ask for anything again and there he was treating her like a Princess!

“Oh Legolas… You shouldn’t… I don’t know what to say… I…”

Legolas pulled her hands away from her face and looked at the single tear running on her cheek perplexed. He had thought she would enjoy some time alone with him in that cave. From the little time they had spent together, he had gathered that she loved surprises and thought that having dinner in this beautiful cave would make her happy. But why was she crying?

He raised her chin to make her look in his eyes and looked at her questioningly. She took a deep breath and started worrying her lip.

“You shouldn’t have gone through all this trouble for me, Legolas. I’m really not worth it.”

He frowned.

“I don’t want to hear such words coming from your mouth again. You are worth much more than this”, he said nodding to the end of the cave, where the furs and the food stood. The curiosity about why she was speaking low of herself returned, but he decided it was not the time for such discussions. He wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled.

“Now, let us have some dinner,” he said and scooped her up in his arms. Elaine wasn’t expecting that and gave a yelp of surprise. Being carried like that, she really felt like the Princess in her fantasies. Legolas placed a giggling Elaine on the furs and sat down next to her, reaching for the basket.

“What would you like to eat?” he asked her, searching through the items in the basket.

“Actually, I’m not really hungry.” She said and Legolas looked up at her. “Belwen gave me this lembas thing and I’m so full! And I just took a few bites!” she said laughing.

Legolas joined her.

“’Tis elvish waybread. A few bites are enough to satisfy an adult”, he replied putting the basket back on the hollow of the wall. “How about some wine, then?” he asked her reaching for the two glasses and the bottle.

“Sure”, she answered smiling and folded her legs under her to sit more comfortably.

Legolas opened the bottle and poured some wine in the glasses. He handed her one of them and raised his own.

“To what should we drink?” he asked faking a serious voice and looked thoughtfully at the red liquid in his glass.

Elaine chuckled. The motto “Beauty, Freedom and Love” popped up in her mind and she bit her lip to keep herself from laughing out loud.

Moulin Rouge, prostitutes, bohemian artists and can-can. MY mind is always SO out of place all the time…

Legolas raised an eyebrow at the amusement painted on her face.

“Let’s drink to love!” she said in a mockingly dramatic voice and raised her glass.

Her laughter died when she saw that Legolas wasn’t laughing. He wore a look on his face she could not decipher and was looking at her intently.

Please tell me he’s not serious about it… she thought and her stomach clenched at the thought of her having mocked his feelings. She loved fooling around, but she would never hurt somebody’s feelings. She wasn’t that cruel. Especially when it came to Legolas.

“To love”, he finally said forcing a small smile on his face and took a sip of his wine. He turned to look at the back of the waterfall and rested his back on the wall behind him. Resting his arm on his bended knee, he started twirling the glass between his fingers. Elaine sat back raising an eyebrow at his sudden change and followed his eyes to the waterfall. The candle light reflected on the liquid curtain and created shadows along the rocky walls. She tried to concentrate on the scenery around her, but she was painfully aware of the elf beside her. His aura seemed to surround her in a warm blanket. She could not avoid his sweet scent, nor the butterflies in her stomach. She was hanging out with men all the time, but she had never felt that unsettled.

Except for when I fell in love with Justin…

She flinched at the word ‘love’ as if it was a forbidden thought. She was being ridiculous. It must be the wine, she tried to convince herself, ignoring purposefully the mocking glare of her still full glass.

Legolas was in deep thought. She had used the word ‘love’ as if it was some joke. He had originally planned to talk to her about his feelings, but … He was so confused. He had the impression she returned his feelings, but her behavior a few minutes before had made him have second thoughts. He was an elf and Elaine was like an open book to him; he could read the emotions in her eyes and he had seen it. He had seen the tiny sparkle in her eyes… Could he be wrong? He was well known for his wise judgement of characters. Maybe he was overreacting. She was a young girl after all, maybe she had no idea of what it was she was feeling.

Legolas turned to face Elaine when he sensed her shudder. He put his am around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

“Are you cold?”

She wasn’t cold, but she didn’t want to leave his arms either.

“Yes, a little”, she lied and scooted closer to him.

Legolas looked down at her in his arms and almost groaned out loud. It was again one of those uncomfortable circumstances they had found themselves during their meetings the previous days. Legolas’ hands were itching to roam over her body and his body was aching to claim her as his. Elaine would then look at him with darkened eyes, mirroring the feelings in his own and they would eventually look away in an uncomfortable silence, until one of them started talking about some unrelated subject. He was never one to lose control over his body. But the innocent look in those eyes and the slightly parted lips, the accidentally exposed shoulder and the twirling of her hair made his manhood throb. He was no fool. He knew she did all this on purpose. He just didn’t know for how long he would be able to hold himself.

Elaine closed her eyes. Stubborn elf! She had tried everything on him. Any guy in his place would have fallen for her tricks, but he seemed so unaffected. ALMOST unaffected. She hadn’t missed the clenching of his jaw, nor the sharp intake of breath. She had never wanted anyone so much in her life. Feeling his strong arms holding her on the horse was torture; the intense gaze of his blue eyes sprang out fires within her; and the fact that she was resting her cheek on his hard chest at the moment was not helping much either. Her gaze traveled downwards to his groin that was hidden effectively by his tunic. Would it be different than that of humans?

She chided herself mentally for her naughty thoughts and pushed herself away from him. I’m such a slut sometimes! she thought and decided to direct her mind towards more civilized thoughts. She turned to look at Legolas opening her mouth to ask him how much traveling was left but her heart skipped a beat when she saw her previous thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

Legolas saw her eyes darken with passion as her gaze settled on his eyes. He took another sip from the wine and swallowed it slowly, as if trying to swallow his desire with it. But his fingers kept tingling and her lips were drawing him like a magnet. Elves were beyond the physical sensations and pleasures of love, but a young love was still a young love for any race: passionate, sublime, blinding… irresistible. He took the glass from her hand and placed it at the side along with his, without breaking eye contact. He finally leaned in and brushed his lips against her softly, savoring with eyes closed from contentment the taste he had grown to miss so much. He brought his hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek, his tongue seeking entrance through her lips. Elaine brought her hands around his neck and deepened the kiss letting out a sigh of relief, as if she had been deprived of water and was finally given something to ease her thirst. Legolas slowly pushed her down on the furry blankets and crawled on top of her. Elaine’s hand shot out to steady herself, only to send the glasses shattering to pieces on the rocks.

She broke the kiss abruptly and turned to look mortified at what she had done, but Legolas’ hand brought her face back to look at him.

“Do not mind about the glasses”, he told her in a husky voice.

The lust she saw in his eyes made the burning feeling between her legs almost unbearable. He made her mad with want. Her eyes traced his face; he seemed so young to her. But when she reached his eyes, there was no mistaking of his age. She was drawn to their depths and it scared her.

I am falling for him, she realised panic filling her stomach, before the feeling was drown away by his lips on hers and the faint moan that escaped her. His lips moved to bite the side of her jaw and continued further down to her neck. He nibbled on the sensitive skin and Elaine closed her eyes in pleasure. She embraced him once more and pulled him closer to her, her breasts brushing against his chest with every breath. Legolas was losing the fight with desire. He was once more lost in her inviting warmth, her teasing caresses and intoxicating smell. He was shivering with need and he had to ease the turmoil in his loins in some way.

Elaine felt him rub against her thigh slowly. The hard bulge between his legs made her open her eyes wide. Just when she thought it wasn’t possible to desire someone so much, she was proved wrong. She glided her hands over the braids on his temples and moved them towards his ears. She had once more tried to touch them during the kisses they had shared the previous days mostly out of curiosity, but he had grabbed her hand before she could reach them and told her quite emphatically not to do that again. But this time Legolas’ awareness was dulled from the feelings the human girl had evoked inside him and he didn’t have time to grab her hands before they glided ever so lightly over his pointed ears.

His reaction was immediate. A muffled moan against her neck and a thrust against her thigh told her that his ears were indeed very sensitive. He brought his head up and rested his forehead on hers.

“I thought I told you not to do that.”

His voice was deepened by desire and it sent shivers down her spine. Wordlessly she took his hand from where it rested beside her head and slowly brought it on her neck. Legolas followed the movement with lustful eyes, watching how she glided it over her the side of her torso and under her T-shirt to let it rest on her right breast. He looked up at her hesitantly and she pulled his chin down to kiss him deeply, her tongue caressing his own in the most erotic way.

His hand cupped her breast, his thumb moving over her nipple. But that was as far as he went. He was still hesitating and she couldn’t understand why. He wanted her. She wanted him. What was there to think about? She took his hand away and pushed him back on the blanket crawling on top of him. He was surprised to see the sly smile on her face. Her lips traveled from his mouth to his cheek and then slowly found their way to his left ear. She nibbled lightly on the lobe, then traced it with the tip of her tongue to the top, hearing his breathing quickening under her ministrations. She smiled triumphantly against his ear at his reaction and started nibbling at his point. His hold on her waist tightened and she brought her leg on the other side of his body to straddle him.

Legolas felt her moving against him. She threw her head back and bit her lip. Her eyes closed, her mind focused on the feelings produced by the friction against the hard length underneath her. Legolas could feel her warmth through her clothes inviting him to throw her on the floor and take her right there. But the years of discipline as a warrior took the better of him and he had enough control to think that elves did not enter into such relationships so easily. Once they joined, they were bound for eternity. He knew he wanted Elaine as his wife, but Elaine did not know the ways of the elves and he would have to talk to her first.

He gently pushed her off him and got up.

“Forgive me, I cannot do this.”

He turned his back to her facing the waterfall. He closed his eyes trying to calm down his aroused state and gather his thoughts.

Elaine sat in the middle of the blanket cross-legged, eyebrows raised in confusion.

Excuse me??

The sudden change was so awkward and unexpected, that she didn’t know what to think or say. What was that all about?? It was usually women who uttered those words, not men! Was there something wrong with Legolas? Was there anything she needed to know? She shook her head to clear her foggy mind and cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry… did I do something wrong?”

Oh my God, this is ridiculous!

She felt so stupid uttering that question! As if she had forced him into something! The situation was so tragically comic that she wanted to laugh. What couldn’t he do? Have sex with her? He was looking ready to ravish her a few minutes ago!

He finally turned around and looked at her. Gone was the lust in his eyes. He actually looked perplexed. Her heart skipped a bit. Was it something serious? He sighed and walking over to her, he kneeled in front of her.

“Nay, you have not. I...” He licked his lips and looked down. “I cannot join with you that simply Elaine. Elves do not do that.”

She almost laughed. Awesome: culture clash.

“Don’t worry Legolas, you won’t stain my honor!” The irony in her voice hang heavily between them. “It’s not like I haven’t been with other men before!”

The look on his face made Elaine regret immediately her words. Hurt was evident in his eyes. His jaw tightened and he looked down. Of course he had suspected she was no virgin. But he had still held a small hope she had kept herself untouched for him. However, hearing her say it out loud, was more than disturbing.

So, she has been touched by other men. Loved by other men. I will not be her first.

It was a painful realization for Legolas. Yet, the realization that he actually envied the man who took her innocence was even more painful. Especially considering the fact that he was an Elven Prince and he was envious of a mortal human. Love had strange effects on people.

Elaine looked at his lowered head and set jaw and felt a sting in her heart.

“…Have you not been… with other women... before…?” she asked hesitantly, although she felt the question was unnecessary. She was so sure he had that his answer almost stopped her heart from beating.

“No, Elaine. I have not.”

She quickly found her voice back when she realised he must have been teasing her.

“Yeah right, nice try Legolas!” she said laughing. “Come on, it’s between you and me… It’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone and ruin your role-model picture as a Prince!”

The look in his eyes when he raised his head stopped her laughter abruptly. He was being serious!

“I don’t believe you Legolas”, she said in a steady voice, showing him that she was not some stupid girl to trifle with.

“I am telling you the truth”, he replied in an even voice.

She chuckled mirthlessly unable to believe he was continuing that sick joke.

“Listen, if you want to persuade me of your nobility and your pure intentions, you should find some other way! This is just ridiculous! Actually, I don’t even care about this shit anyway!”

Jesus. It’s just SEX. Just a game.

… right?

The roll of her eyes at the worlds ‘nobility’ and ‘pure intentions’ hit a tricky nerve in Legolas. She got up and took a few steps away, when he grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. The lowered brows and the cold look in his eyes made her stomach clench. He looked furious.

“What is so hard to believe Elaine?”

She let an exasperated sigh and looked at him incredulously. He was pushing it too far.

“Do you actually expect me to believe that in these thousands of years that you’ve lived you have never slept with a woman??”

His grip on her arms tightened and he moved his face inches from her own.

“I have known an elleth’s touch, Elaine. A lot of ellyth’s touch, if that’s what you want to hear. But that’s as far as your mortal mind is able to think. I never joined with any of them. You must understand, when an elf joins with someone, they are bound for eternity. If we join, you will be my wife. We cannot do such a thing, unless you are well aware of what you feel for me and what you want.”

He released her and took a step back. Elaine stood speechless. For some reason, he sounded very, very serious now. And what he had told her made perfect sense. The wall she had built around her suddenly shattered to pieces. She tried to fit all this new information in her head. Married? By simple love-making? And there she was believing they were just fooling around! Or… was she?

Stupid, stupid Elaine! You knew it all along!

Of course she had known. She had seen it in his eyes. But she had tried to ignore it, pretending it was just a game. The words of her best friend echoed in her mind “You just pretend. And it’s fine pretending to me, but pretending to yourself? That’s pathetic.” She had pretended she didn’t care, that it was just fooling around again, but she had seen he had fallen in love with her. And she…

No, no! Don’t say that word! You are not in love. YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE!! she repeated in her mind trying to block away the murmurs of her heart. But avoiding something does not mean that it doesn’t exist. Her soul was screaming in protest and there was no wall to keep back the rush of her feelings anymore. It was a safe game as long as his feelings and intentions towards her were not voiced: there was still a doubt and she embraced the version of truth that served her. But now that all was out in the open, the illusion she had created could not stand.

He loved her. And she loved him. The inevitable had happened.

Love.

Marriage.

Bound.

Eternity.

Commitment.

Pain.

Words and incoherent thoughts flew in her head. He had told her everything she didn’t want to hear. She couldn’t love. She couldn’t bind herself to anyone. She certainly could not marry. He would leave her too and she would spend the rest of her life trying to pick up the shattered pieces of her heart. And she would not cause his death. She would NOT cause another death!! She would never bind herself to anyone again to see them fade away.

And what will happen when I die? What will he do then? Will he find another wife?

How foolish was it of her to get involved in such a relationship! How stupid to allow that flicker of a hope that he was the ‘Prince’ she had been waiting for and they could live ‘happily ever after’! She should have known it would only complicate matters! She panicked. She had to get away. Distance herself, then leave him. He was too good for her. She would not hurt him in such a way. And she would not be hurt again either.

Legolas studied the woman before him intently. Was it too soon to speak of that matter? But she had forced him to, he had never intended to let things get so far. Did he choose the wrong words? Elaine looked troubled. Maybe he was too harsh with her. He wished he knew what she was thinking… What if he had scared her away? He knew mortals could not completely comprehend the ways of the elves, but she had to. She had to for his sake, because he would not be able to live without her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know… I…” Her voice trailed off and she was hushed by a finger on her lips. She looked up into his eyes.

“I do not ask anything of you Elaine. I only wished to explain my actions. If you ever decide your feelings towards me, come to me. I’ll wait for you forever.”

Forever.

It hit her like a bucket full of cold water.

“You know I will always love you, even if something keeps us apart… I’ll wait for you forever. We’ll always be together. I will never leave you.”

The words came back to haunt her. They were flashing before her eyes mockingly, reminding her of all the reasons she couldn’t believe, she couldn’t love, she couldn’t live. She shook her head tears filling her eyes.

“Please don’t promise forever to me. Please.”

Legolas looked at her confused.

“Why not? It is a promise I can keep.“

“Stop it!!” she screamed and covered her ears to block his words away, falling on her knees on the stony floor. “I cannot believe you Legolas… I cannot trust forever again. I cannot trust your love…” she said in a hardly audible voice, letting the tears fall free on her cheeks.

Legolas was standing still in shock. So that was her secret. As he had thought all along. Who was this someone who had promised her eternal love? And why had he broken his promise? What had happened to hurt her so much?

“Again?” he asked softly approaching the young woman whose body was raked violently by loud sobs. “Why ‘again’ El?” He pushed her chin up to face him.

Elaine looked away. He should never find out. It was her secret. Her life’s torture. Her shame. Her dark, hateful prison. She stood up to leave, but he grabbed her arms. She tried to break free of his grasp, but his hold on her was too tight.

“Elaine look at me. Look at me!”

She was forced to turn her face towards him at his raised voice. It was cold and stern, his eyes a stormy blue mirroring his anger.

“I opened up my heart to you. I have told you everything, offered myself to your will and yet you keep secrets from me. Why don’t you answer?”

“I don’t have to”, she replied in an equally cold voice.

“Who has hurt you?” he pressed on.

“Let me go dammit!” she started squirming again but he held her in place. After trying to break free ineffectively, she just slumped against him defeated and let her tears flow once more.

Legolas loosened his grip and let her slide on the floor. He followed her kneeling in front of her, his heart breaking at the anguish on her face. She probably wasn’t ready to tell him and he had pushed her too far. He brought his hand to her cheek. She just pushed it away.

“Leave me alone, Legolas. Please”, she said dryly and wiped her tears.

Her gesture hurt him more than any words could. He had not expected things to turn this way between them. A few minutes ago he was the happiest person walking on Earth, and now… So it was as he had thought. He had lost her, because of his hastiness. What in the world had got into him? He was never one to rush things, having an eternity to wait if need be. He was always patient, even more than his fellow elves… Yet with Elaine he felt as if he had no time; he wanted to learn all her secrets that instant, comfort her and make all the pain she had suffered go away, marry her and live with her every single moment that passed by… He had acted completely foolishly and had paid for it dearly. For all his years and wisdom, he had acted like an ignorant elfling. He should have known better. Some Prince he was. His negotiating skills could not even handle a young girl. Could love shed you of all reason like that?

Legolas nodded and offered her his hand.

“Should we go back?”

“Yes”, Elaine answered and ignoring his hand, she walked past him to grab the basket and made her way to the other side of the waterfall. Legolas stayed rooted in the same place for a few seconds watching her retreating form from behind the watery wall. He shook his head. He could not tell anymore who was acting more childishly; him or Elaine.