The Probability Factor

Chapter Fourteen-Journey Into Time and Space

The rain started to get heavier, and I sat on the cold wet cement of the sidewalk, letting myself get soaked. I had watched my husband disappear into thin air, an impossibility, and I had let him go. His disappearance made his situation more real to me. Even though I knew he was an elf, a different race from humans, I never really accepted the fact he was different from me. Even though I had never seen a physical specimen as perfect as Haldir, he had faults too. I wrapped his package up in my personal belief that he was just like anybody else-a little different, but in a good way. Now he was gone, and I had no idea if that Mithrandir chap was as good as his word.

I choked back a hiccupy sob, and pulled myself together. I had to get back to Roxy, and put our plan into action. Haldir and I had decided to go with a story about him getting called back home suddenly, on a family emergency. I would have to tell my family and our friends and be vague as to when he was coming home. That was the truth, the only thing that we were lying about was that Haldir wasn’t in Norway, he was in Arda. I hoped I would get a message that I would be going to him soon, but until that moment came, I was on my own.

Getting up off the wet sidewalk, I staggered back to the apartment. Roxy greeted me excitedly, dancing around my feet, and looking for Haldir.

I bent down and ruffled Roxy’s fur, “He’s gone home baby. Haldir won’t be around for a while.” Or possibly forever, I thought sadly.

I wasn’t hungry, but I fixed Roxy her dinner and fiddled with a piece of toast for myself. I felt physically ill, and the thought of food was making me nauseous. I ended up dumping the toast in the garbage, and sat down to watch Roxy eat. She picked at her meal, clearly picking up on my distress, so I got up and moved to the living room. Plopping down on the couch, I channel surfed for a few hours, before I crawled down the hall and got into bed. I wasn’t tired; I just couldn’t deal with being upright anymore. I had no one to talk to, no one to make love with, and no one to rock me to sleep in his arms. My husband was gone and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I tossed and turned, sleeping fitfully. When daylight broke, I crawled out of bed, moving my misery to the couch. Staying in my pyjamas all day, I alternated staring mindlessly at the TV, poking at the computer, and lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

Around noon, I called my parents and told them the news. My Dad was stoic as usual. He remarked that he hoped Haldir’s family was going to be all right, and should he require any assistance, to let them know. Mom was understandably upset. She doesn’t like it when things are out of order, and my not being with my husband was not proper. Dad told me he’d let the rest of the family know, and if I needed any help, to call. Dad has always been helpful in a crunch.

I spent the weekend in and out of bed, but entirely in my pyjamas. Roxy was walked, when I asked Alistair to come by. Once he found out what had happened, he took over, taking Roxy out, cooking for me, and making sure I showered. He would’ve gotten into the shower with me, but out of respect to Haldir, he merely stood at the door and shouted instructions. Steve was dragged into my hole, when Alistair had to go out and get me some supplies; staying with me and trying to get me to play a game of checkers. I lost on purpose to make him go away.

When I went back to work on the Monday, Alistair walked me to work, bringing me lunch and making me eat. Steve would pick me up and walk me home. Either Steve or Alistair would be with me at all times when I was at home; as Alistair was worried I might try and hurt myself. I barely slept, hardly ate, and I felt like a huge piece of my soul had been ripped out of me the minute Haldir had left.

The days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and soon it was coming up on our 1st wedding anniversary, with no message from Mithrandir, and no Haldir. My parents circled the wagons, getting angry with Haldir on my behalf. I told them not to be angry, but all they could see was a daughter who was in pain, missing her husband. The week before our anniversary, I booked all my vacation time that I had coming, and told my office I was taking a much needed sabbatical. I figured I would go to Mexico and bake until I was a lobster, then I’d cocoon until I had to go back to work. The night before I was to go on vacation, and two days before my wedding anniversary, I was contacted.

Mithrandir pulled me into the hazy nothingness, and greeted me with a smile.

“Good day my lady,” he bowed slightly as he greeted me.

“Mithrandir,” I said coolly, “That business certainly took long enough. May I see my husband please?”

“All in good time my dear. All in good time,” he pulled out his pipe, prepping it, “It seems that you are in good company.” His pause made me wave my hand for him to go on. “It seems you have some very important Valar placing their loyalties with you and your mate. It also seems that they have been preparing the way for you to be with your husband in the manner in which you require.”

My heart surged with hope, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that you must go to the same place you saw your husband leave, and cross over tomorrow evening at the same time as he left.”

“I’ll need to bring some things,” I said, “I can’t leave Roxy behind.”

“Who is Roxy?”

“Our dog. She’s never been without us for long, a week at the most. She has to come,” I pleaded. I wanted our family to be together, even if it wasn’t at home.

Mithrandir grimaced, “All right. The dog can come. You will enter Arda a day from the gates of Lorien, and you will be met by the Galadhrim. They will guide you to your husband. Be careful though, danger still exists as the remnants of yrch still wander the woods, looking for prey.”

I nodded, “May I bring along some things from home?”

“Whatever you can carry. But the journey is hard, so be prepared,” he warned.

“Thank you,” I said, “Will I see you there?”

“No, no. I will be along a while after you settle in. The Lady of Lorien will travel with my group, as we make our way to Aman,” he puffed thoughtfully on his pipe, “But has yet to become clear to me as to what your fate will be.”

I didn’t know what to say to this, so I remained silent.

“Well, I know you’re husband will be happy to see you. He has complained incessantly about not having you with him,” he waved at me, “He can be quite vocal about what he desires.”

At that, I was pulled back into the mist, and woke up in my bed. It was a disconcerting method of communication, but since I knew that Haldir’s home was not as technologically advanced as mine, I figured it must be de rigueur. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up in the pre-dawn light and began to pack.

Haldir had told me a little bit about his home, and I knew that roads were a rarity. So I packed a variety of clothing in my back-pack, strapping my light sleeping pad to the bottom. Haldir had tried to get me into camping, and we’d bought me a MEC Women’s Bora 75 Backpack, which I felt was too big for a weekend away, but Haldir wanted to err on the side of caution. I was now glad he had pressed for the big pack. While I hated roughing it, I knew I’d need the room for the stuff I wanted to bring him. He was in the middle of a book, and I knew he had left it on purpose. I packed it, and made sure I had some of Haldir’s clothes, and packed my own clothes judiciously. I didn’t want to be caught unprepared for any weather eventualities. I put the bear spray in the side pocket, for easy access, and made sure I brought out the water purifying tablets and all our first aid stuff.

Going into the kitchen, I put a month of Roxy’s dry food into a couple of large Ziploc storage bags, and made a list of the food I may need. I would have to hit the pharmacy to get some meds for the just-in-case scenario, but that would have to wait. I knew I’d have to tell Alistair, and arrange for him to look in on our apartment for a while. I moved enough money out of our savings account into the chequing account, to cover the automatic bill payments, and I set a few of the irregular bills on an auto-transfer. I didn’t know how long I’d be gone, so I wrote out a provisional plan, in case we didn’t come home. Where to ship my stuff, how to let people know what happened. The sort of stuff you did when you expected to die. But I didn’t think of it that way. I figured I’d be happy to live where ever Haldir was, and I could make concessions. I had to. I couldn’t be without him like this again.

Alistair was shocked I was going, but when he heard I was going to reunite with Haldir, he swore he’d do anything to help. I told him there was a possibility that he may never see either of us again, and he retorted that he’d better, or he was giving away my whole book collection to a junk collector. He knew that would piss me off.

Alistair had agreed to walk me to the jump-off point, mostly because he was having a hard time believing me about how I was going to get there. We walked through the warm summer evening, chatting about everything and anything. Once we got to the foot of Howe, Alistair stopped me.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said, “I know you’ll be back. I just really love you, and I’m gonna miss you.”

“I love you too Al. You keep Mom and Dad sane, and hopefully we’ll be back before you know it,” I hugged him close, “Remember, you’re family. If you need anything, call Dad, but don’t tell him where I am really.”

“I don’t know where you are, really,” Alistair retorted good naturedly.

At the prescribed time, I took Roxy’s leash, and pulled her to me close. Turning, I waved to Alistair, and with one step I crossed the threshold. Immediately, the city disappeared and we were thrown onto hard dirt. Brushing some dirt off my face, I made sure Roxy was with me, and I took a look around. We were deep in some forest, with the biggest trees I had ever seen.

Let me just explain something to you. I live in British Columbia. BC. The province where forestry is the number two industry. Trees are our business. We have many countries angry at us for what we do to our trees, except they’re just jealous because they went and ruined their forests centuries ago. We still have centuries to screw around before we become what they are. I used to work with a lot of the forestry workers, helping them between seasons, so I know what trees are all about. I’ve been to old growth forest, walked through ancient rainforest, and I’ve seen trees thousands of years old. I’ve even been to sequoia country, and seen these shallow rooted trees that span higher than some sky-scrapers. The trees Roxy and I stood under put those gentle giants to shame.

They were taller than anything I could even imagine. They had to be taller than the Sheraton Wall Centre. The forest floor was bare, due to the lack of continuous light from the high thick foliage thousands of feet up. I was startled out of my reverie by a hand on my shoulder.

I bit down on a cry, and turned to see a tall blond man, correction, elf, standing behind me. He looked eerily like Haldir. Two more tall blond elves appeared beside him. They were so silent; I couldn’t hear the ground beneath their feet as they moved.

The first one said only one word, “Come.” Motioning me to follow him.

Roxy happily tugged at the leash as she ran to his side. I figured they were related to Haldir in some way, so I followed. Shifting my pack, I changed hands holding the leash, and I tried to keep up. These guys had nothing in their arms, or on their backs, save for a quiver full of arrows, a bow, and a short sword. They moved stealthily, and left no trail. I was the opposite. I moved at a walk-run pace, breathing deep controlled breaths, concentrating solely on keeping pace. Just as the sun began to set, or at least I thought it was setting, as the forest lost the mottled light it did have, and a grey light seeped in; the elves stopped and motioned we would rest for the night.

The first elf motioned for me to sit, and crouching beside me, he poked himself and said, “Rúmil.”

I smiled and pointed to myself, “Susan.”

He grinned and said, “Haldir hervess!”

“If you mean wife, yes. Hervess,” I said, still smiling.

He poked himself again and said, “Muindor.”

I looked at him quizzically, not understanding him.

He stared at me, as though searching for a word. He finally mangled, “Bro-ther.”

“Muindor means brother?” I asked excitedly. It seemed Haldir was sharing the wealth, regarding English.

He nodded, and pointed to me, “Wife.”

“Yes!” I patted him on the back, “That’s right.”

He got up and motioned for me to stay where I was. The other elves had already gathered firewood, and were starting a fire and preparing food to cook. I pulled out my water purifying tablets and dropped one into the cup that was offered to me. They looked at me oddly, and I made a motion that I’d be sick if I drank the water without the tablet. They totally didn’t understand me, so I reached into my pack and brought out a bar of chocolate. I had a whole box in my pack, mostly for Haldir, as I liked liquorice more. I decided to introduce them to chocolate would get them to ignore my odd eating habits. I broke off three pieces and gave each elf a chunk. They popped it into their mouths and looked at me in surprise.

“Let it melt,” I advised, “It’s chocolate.”

Rúmil stuck the chunk in the corner of his cheek and said over a gob of saliva, “Choc-o-lat!”

I nodded, “Don’t lose it.” Motioning him to keep sucking, “I gather Haldir told you about his favourite treat?”

Rúmil just looked at me happily, mumbling ‘choc-o-lat’, through his slurps of the sweet treat. I laughed and swirled the water around in my cup. I couldn’t drink it for a couple of hours, so I grabbed a pot out of my pack and poured some of the water from the skin they were using into it. I poured just enough to give me water for the evening. I then poured the cup of water I had into an empty water bottle, to sit and activate. The elves watched me purify my water with interest. I did not have the luxury of a perfect immune system like they apparently did, as they got the water from a river running not too far from where we sat. I was afraid of getting beaver fever, even with fast running water, as bacteria like cryptosporidium didn’t care if it was in fast running water or still water.

Dinner was fresh caught rabbit, another food I had never tried. I was allergic to bunny fur, but I hoped it didn’t include their meat, or I would be in apparent trouble. I had brought six epi-pens with me, just in case. Roxy was given some too, which she relished with gusto. I was relieved when an hour after we ate, I had not blown up and my throat had not closed. I unrolled my bedroll, and pulled out my thermal blanket, crawling under as Rúmil motioned for me to. Exhaustion from walking so fast for so long had me asleep with Roxy by my side.

The next morning I was awake by first light, and saw the elves had already packed the camp away. I folded my blanket, tucking it back into my pack, and rolled up by bedroll, strapping it back to my pack. Taking a swing of the now-treated water, I grimaced as one of the elves handed me a small wafer. I looked at it quizzically and broke off a piece, eating it slowly. It was a little mealy, but good, and quite filling. We got underway quickly, and soon were back up to their breakneck pace. Stopping a couple of times, so the poor human girl could catch her breath, we came upon the gates of what I assumed was Lorien just after supper. The guards standing above the wooden structure called out, and one of the huge doors swung slowly open. We slid through and it closed as soon as we were clear.

I was astounded by the beauty of the place before me. I couldn’t really say it was a city, although Haldir had told me it was. But it was beautiful. Staircases wrapped around trees, leading up to platforms high in the canopy. I saw fabric and greenery, so I assumed it was a city that was akin to the rainforest living arrangements like those in the Amazon, where swinging platforms were strung between trees and tents perched in branches as scientists studied the life in the high canopy. I remembered watching a PBS documentary on it and was fascinated. These platforms were different though, as they were much bigger, and seemed to blend in with the tree itself. No garish coloured Gore-Tex to show where people were from the foliage. I finally looked down and before me stood my husband, looking for all the world like a thirsty man who had found water.

I dropped my pack, and leapt into his arms. Laughing and crying and kissing him as though my breath depended on it. He swung me around laughing and kissing me, holding me so tight I had to pant for breath.

“You are here! You are finally here!” his cry was joyous as he kissed me.

“Oh my god! I missed you so much! Don’t ever leave me again!” I admonished.

Roxy barked and Haldir laughed and reached down to ruffle her fur, “I missed you too, girl. I am glad you came.”

I held him tightly, “This is your home?”

“Yes, Susan. You have met my brother Rúmil, and this is my other brother Orophin,” he turned me to greet a carbon copy of Rúmil.

I laughed, “Two brothers! Now I know why you weren’t overwhelmed at family gatherings.”

“We did cause trouble in our youth,” Haldir admitted, “I will take you to our talan, so you may freshen up. The Lady wishes to meet you before you retire this evening.”

“So no happy reunion until afterwards?” I asked slyly.

“No,” he growled, “It has been hard enough waiting for you this long. I had to ‘pester’ a great number of persons to get you here this early. They wanted to wait longer, but I would have none of it.”

I smiled happily, “I’m just glad they didn’t renege on our deal.”

“As am I,” he said softly in my ear.

He led me up one of the staircases, carrying my pack easily. We entered a platform home, that he had called a talan. There was a wooden door, and opaque cloth surrounded the outside. A thatched roof kept out the elements. He set my pack down by another door, and hugged me close.

“I missed you, but we have no time to celebrate our reunification. Get cleaned up with that bowl of water, and I will bring you your dress.”

“Dress? Pardon?” I grabbed the cloth he had set out for me and dipped it in the water.

“The Lady of the Wood expects my wife. You have become a lady of station, and need to be dressed as such,” Haldir walked into one of the rooms and came out holding a gossamer dress. “I am Marchwarden of Lorien. You need to reflect my role here.”

He pulled off my shirt and shorts, kissing every inch of skin that he bared. I sighed as I cleaned my arms and neck. Untying my boots, he helped me out of them, pulling my socks off as he went. He grabbed the other cloth and dampened it, swiping it down my legs and wiping my feet. It was so tender, it became erotic. I wanted to forget the meeting with the Lady of the Wood and just make love with my husband.

“I remembered your sizing, but it seems you have lost a bit of weight,” he commented as he helped me into the gown.

“I was upset after you left,” I answered quietly.

He tied the lacing up, “I know. I felt your pain. I am sorry I hurt you like that.”

“Couldn’t be helped,” I answered as cheerily as I could muster, “It was just the way things happened.”

“Did…”

“Alistair and Steve helped me. And my family. They’re pretty pissed at you by the way,” I added.

He laughed, “Well they have a right to be. But I am glad Alistair and Steve were by your side. I do not think I could have left you if I did not know you had their help.”

“I wouldn’t have let you go,” I admitted, “They made me eat, shower and sleep. For a month afterwards, I was never alone. They took turns sleeping on our couch, and you’ll never guess what happened.”

Haldir just looked at me.

“They got engaged. In April. They told me that if I hadn’t cracked up, they wouldn’t have tested their relationship as hard as they had. And they said because of that, they knew they couldn’t live without each other. They knew they needed each other in their lives. So they are going to get married.”

“That is good news!” Haldir looked pleased.

“Yes, but they have a proviso. Alistair said he wouldn’t marry Steve until we got back, because we have to act as his witnesses. Steve is adamant about that too.”

Haldir looked pensive at the news, “I do not know if we will be able to get home. I hope we will. Did you tell them we may never see them again?”

“Yup. And Alistair said if we didn’t come back, he’d give all my books to a junk dealer.”

Haldir shuddered for me, “We will have to find a way back then.”

“No kidding. So do I look presentable?” I twirled in the dress for him.

“You are a vision. Come, let us meet the Lady,” he took my arm and led me out the door.

We walked for some time on the wooden walkways that ran between the trees, until we came upon another staircase. Haldir led me up the sweeping stairs ad we came out upon a lovely terraced garden suspended between two of the large trees. Haldir bowed suddenly and pulled me down into a curtsey.

I felt something touch my mind and then I heard a voice say clearly, “Please rise.”

Before me stood the woman from my dream after Haldir and I had bonded. She smiled and spoke in a clear tinkly voice.

“Susan, it is so good to meet my Marchwarden’s fëar mate. You are a lovely woman, to take him in and cherish him so,” she took my hand in hers, and I felt a swell of love in my heart.

Tears came to my eyes and I said, “I dreamed you. Did you dream me?”

“We spoke through the dreamtime. You have a gift for walking in the dreamtime. I believe it was why Haldir was led to you. You are a gentle soul, a good match for his temperament.”

I felt a fat tear run down my face, as Haldir gently rubbed it away. “He did have a bit of an attitude issue when I met him,” I admitted.

“Thank you for your patience and for loving him the way you do. We will talk tomorrow, once you have had some rest. But I believe your husband has not been able to greet you properly as yet?” an impish grin flashed across her face.

Haldir blushed, and bowing he said, “Thank you my lady.”

“You will be at breakfast?” she asked.

“Yes my lady,” he said stiffly, seeming to be embarrassed.

A tinkly laugh came up from her dainty throat, “You have your leave to attend to your wife Marchwarden. Greet her in a manner that befits your station.”

I curtsied and Haldir led me back to our talan. It was if the moment we left her presence, the lights around us dimmed a little. The awe and love she inspired in me left me feeling a little wondrous, but I remembered I was in the arms of my husband, and we entered our talan, greeting Roxy, who was just happy we had not left her alone for too long.

Haldir whispered in my ear, “Tonight, I want you to scream. I want the entire city to know you are mine.”

I blushed as he began to undress me.

Hervess- wife
Muindor- brother