The Probability Factor

Chapter Thirteen-Aloha Mellon

Our flight out to the island of Maui was nerve wracking for me. It was the first time we had truly tested the passport, and even though I’d taken Haldir across the line into Bellingham a couple of times to test things, the customs guys hadn’t swiped the passport, they just looked at it. The pre-clearing at YVR was more stringent. Haldir showed his passport and we crossed out fingers that it would work. Even though we passed through without incident, I couldn’t relax until the plane taxied down the runway. Haldir laughed as he felt me sag once we got airborne.

The moment we landed in Maui, I just about kissed the ground. I hadn’t realized exactly how nervous I was about getting Haldir to Hawaii; but with the abject paranoia sweeping the USA, I supposed I was afraid Haldir would be arrested and sent to Gitmo as a threat to American security or something asinine like that.

We got to the Grand Wailea Resort on the beach and checked into our Ocean Room. Haldir carried me across the threshold, much to the amusement of our bellhop, and laid me gently on the bed. I gave him a couple of bills to tip the bellhop with, and soon we were alone in our own tropical paradise.

“This is our honeymoon, correct?” Haldir asked, advancing upon me like a cat stalking his prey.

“Yes,” I choked back a giggle.

“And we will be alone for as long as we desire?” he came closer.

“For the balance of the week, yes,” I confirmed.

“Good,” he stated as he silently leapt onto the bed. I started, as he placed himself over my now prone body. Bringing his face close to mine, he whispered, “I want to hear you scream.” He unbuttoned my shirt and swept his hand over my breasts.

I gave in and began to laugh, “Scream eh? That’s a good one.”

Haldir growled deep in the back of his throat, “You have not been able to scream because of the thin walls in our home. We should not have such issues here.”

I got a little nervous as his intense gaze swept my body. He pulled my shirt off and unzipped my skirt, yanking it down my thighs. I lay under him, clad only in my panties and my bra. I could feel dampness grow between my legs and my nipples harden, under the heat of his gaze. Usually Haldir was a gentle lover, holding me like a delicate doll, but he was treating me like his prey. A tasty tid-bit he wanted to eat right up.

Taking my bra, he unclipped it from behind and whipped it off my body. My nipples hardened in the cool air of the hotel room. His scent filled the room, smelling like spices and heat. Leaning down, he licked the tips of my nipples. It was like an electric current shot through my body with that tiny contact. Reaching between my legs, he pulled my panties to one side and inserted a finger, plunging it deep inside. I gasped at the intrusion, but my hips thrust to meet his hand.

“You’re so wet,” he whispered. All I could do was nod.

He leaned down and with a quick rip, tore the tiny bits of fabric from my body. I wanted to impale myself on him, but he pushed me down onto the bed as he moved to stand by the side. He quickly removed all of his clothing, and then spreading my legs apart, he knelt down between them, putting his face up close to my mons. I was shaking with sexual excitement, I wanted him so badly.

“You will be new again,” he whispered to my wetness. My hips thrust aimlessly, as I craved his touch. He put an arm over my belly, and parting my lips with a couple of fingers, he dipped first one finger, then a second inside me. I perceived a firm stroking over my g-spot, and felt my wetness grow. His tongue laved my tiny bundle of nerves, and he began to suck it like a hard nipple. I was assaulted by sensations, as I built quickly to climax. He pulled his mouth away from my skin, just as I was about to crest.

“I want to hear you scream,” he said softly, almost dangerously. I was in too much of a sexual haze to argue.

“I’ll scream, I’ll scream. Just make me come,” I begged.

Deep laughter rumbled from his chest, as he went back to sucking me. The fingers inside me became more insistent, and I felt my body clench in one huge release. I cried out, letting my scream rip through the silence of the room. Haldir didn’t stop sucking and stroking, and I felt tiny shudders rock my body as little after-climaxes rode me like a cowboy on his steed.

Haldir looked at me, with lust in his eyes, and he clambered up my body. Taking my legs, he placed them on his shoulders, before he plunged inside me so far, I thought he’d hit my larynx. He didn’t thrust gently, like he used to, but he pounded me furiously. All I could do was gasp and moan, as I felt myself build again. I had never been touched like this, and I found I liked it. He wasn’t rough or harsh; he was just a force of nature, bringing me out of the coma I had been existing in. Everything in the room jumped into sharp relief, as I cried out in pleasure. My climax tore through me like a tornado, and I screamed again with abandon. Haldir followed me and once we were finished, he collapsed upon me with a groan.

“Too much?” he asked as he pulled some sweaty hair out of his eyes.

“Oh god, no,” I breathed, watching him sag in relief, “I’ve never been touched like that, and oh god, it was amazing.”

He smiled, “I wanted you to know how much I want you. I want to be inside you all the time. You are like a drug, and I cannot get enough of you.”

“So, you’re like an addict? Of me?” I asked, trying not to smile.

He grinned rakishly, “Yes. I desire you like an animal desires to mate. I know we cannot be like this at home, but I wanted you to know just how much I want you.”

I wanted to laugh at his flowery language, but he was serious, so I let it slide. We fell asleep on top of the bed, exhausted from the trip, and the lovemaking.

We had dinner that night at, I kid you not, and this is the place’s real name, ‘Humuhumunukunukuapua'a’, which was located in the resort. I didn’t try to mutilate the name; I just let everybody else give it a shot. At least the staff could pronounce it without any difficultly. We ate overlooking calm seas, and watched the sunset in a fiery show of reds, purples and oranges.

Our first night was capped off with a walk along the water’s edge on the white sand beach. The quiet only interrupted by other couple’s evening strolls under the moonlight, as we nodded to each couple in greeting. The warm tropical breeze off the ocean made me a bit randy again, and we retired to make love in our room before we dropped off to sleep.

Our week in Hawaii was spent between making love and playing in the pool and the ocean. We went out for dinner a couple of times in Kihei and in Lahaina, and made it out to Ka’anapali for drinks and a walk along their beach. I’d arranged a tour out to Hana and we lucked out when we did our bike ride down Haleakala, as we didn’t have any clouds the entire day. I was told by the chap who ran the bike ride tour, that as Haleakala was a tall dormant volcano, more days than not there’d be clouds clinging to the slopes around the apex. We didn’t get a deep tan though. I was adamant about the use of the SPF 30, so we just attained a golden glow, which was fine with me. Plus, we made love every chance we got. At one point on our road trip to Hana, Haldir got so ramped up, I had to pull over in a rest stop so we could make love in the back seat of our rental car. I drove the rest of the way with the windows down, so the poor guy at the rental place wouldn’t get a spunky smelling car back.

We left the Saturday following our arrival for home, and I was exhausted from the whirlwind trip. By the time we dragged our asses back into the apartment, it was all I could do to stay awake. We left our luggage in the living room, as we stripped off our clothes and fell asleep on top of the bed, clinging to each other like the last two people on the planet earth.

We woke up in a sweaty mess as I had forgotten to turn on the air-conditioning before we went to bed. I staggered down the hallway, and climbing over to the window, I flipped the switch, and turned it up to maximum. The cold air, dried my sweat quickly, and my nipples leapt to attention, as I turned to see my husband standing in all his glory before me.

“You left our bed,” he said quietly, looking for all the world like he’d eat me up.

“Air conditioning,” I supplied.

Crossing the floor in a second, he swept me up into his arms, as he sat down on the couch, with me straddling his naked lap. “I wanted to wake you up nicely,” he growled.

“Do it now. I’m not quite awake,” I whispered throatily.

He shifted underneath me and I felt him penetrate me. I wasn’t quite dry, as his look and words had already affected me, but he was careful as I wasn’t quite ready for his girth. Slowly we rocked back and forth as we stared into each other’s eyes. His fingers slipped between my legs as he caressed my nub, and I felt the flood of desire and pleasure rush through my body. He lifted me up and slid me along his erection, and I positioned my knees to help him. Our rocking soon turned feverish, and I had to stuff my hand into my mouth so I wouldn’t scream. The week of being able to cry out with abandon had spoilt me, and now we were back in the place with thin walls. We climaxed quickly and I lay down against his chest, breathing hard from the exertion.

“Welcome home my wife,” he whispered in my ear.

“Welcome home my husband,” I whispered back.

It felt good to call him my husband and have him call me his wife. I never thought I would see the day I got married, but here it was and we were truly wed.

Our weekend was quiet, as we got Roxy back from Alistair. I had purchased Alistair some goodies, which included the obligatory Aloha shirt, puka shell necklace, macadamia nuts and a tacky Nani dashboard doll. Alistair had begged me for the Nani doll, as he said it carried quite a bit of cachet with a few of his friends. I knew exactly who he meant too. They were twisted buggers. Roxy, of course was delighted to see us, and we took her out for several long walks before I had to return to work on the Monday.

Haldir got back into his routine of making dinner, and cleaning up around the place. He’d ride my bike over to Granville Island during the day to pick up stuff for dinner every evening. Back when I taught him to ride, I was astounded by how quickly he had picked it up, but he told me his kind was physically adept. Now, he rode in and out of traffic like an old pro, and I was saving to get him a bike of his own, complete with saddlebags and water bottle. I didn’t mind supporting Haldir, as I knew once we figured out how to get him a Social Insurance Card, he’d be able to begin working to help out. I knew I’d be the bread-winner for the family, and I was completely okay with that. I really enjoyed coming home to a cozy place, with dinner on the table and laundry done and put away. I always rewarded Haldir properly, but it felt like I was getting just as much pleasure as he did out of the whole deal.

Soon, the months passed and it was the beginning of Fall. Haldir and I had begun to look for a new apartment, in a cement building. One, it was safer in a fire, and two, I found I liked to be vocal during lovemaking, and the only time I got to be vocal was when we went away for the weekend, which was less than once a month. Plus, we wanted to start a family, so I wanted another bedroom for the possible baby. I had just gone off the Depo-Provera in September, but it could be several years before my fertility might even out, as I had been on the shot for over a decade. My doctor had told me that since I had been on the shot for so long, it wasn’t unusual not to be able to conceive for a few years. I was okay with that, but just in case, I thought it would be practical to have the extra room.

In late October, the promotion I had applied for came through as I won the competition. I was moved from an AS-02 to and AS-05, and was now in a management position. This extra income would come in handy to help Haldir and I out financially, but the added stress meant Haldir would need to support me more as I would be stretched to my limit. I was now in charge of my department, and I knew that certain people would try and take advantage of my friendship, so I needed Haldir to act as a sounding board. He was up for the challenge, as I would come home from work, whipped from dealing with people above me and below me; and he’d have dinner, a hot bath and a massage ready to go for me. The nights I was too tired to make love, he’d treat me to love-making for one, letting me have my release and fall asleep. He changed my diet and made me follow an exercise regime to increase my stamina and improve my mood. By December I was almost back to normal, and I felt less stressed at work, as well as having more energy to make love to my husband.

Christmas was a cornucopia of noise, food and loads of parties. Haldir and I had been invited to five different Christmas parties, two of which were from people I didn’t personally know. Haldir had taken my advice to heart about being friendlier with the locals, and had become good friends with our butcher on Granville Island and one of the artisans that had a studio down on the Island. This guy was a glass blower, and when we attended his party, he had thoughtfully given me a lovely glass figurine of a swan. I didn’t know what to say, so I thanked him as best I could. He leaned in and told me that Haldir had been telling him about how beautiful I was, so he had decided to make me something to reflect that opinion.

The Christmas dinner was held again at my brother’s and everyone kept looking at us, as though they were waiting for some big announcement. I finally let everyone down easy, telling them I wasn’t pregnant yet, and could they give a girl a break, as we were trying as hard as we could. Made my Mom blush, my Dad cough into his napkin, and my sister-in-law laugh her ass off. I liked Patricia a lot. She knew how to set the right mood.

As the New Year bloomed, I began having those disturbing dreams, exactly the same as the ones I had before I met Haldir. I dreamt I was running down Howe St, and I saw Haldir disappear again. This time, I kinda knew why I was so upset. I knew I couldn’t go with him, but I didn’t want him to go even though I knew he had to leave. I would wake in a sweat every morning early, before the sun rose. Haldir would be concerned and ask me if I had the dream again, and I would nod; and then he would rock me back to sleep. I had no idea why this was happening, especially now, but the dreams were a nightly occurrence.

By the middle of January, I was beside myself with these repetitive dreams. Work was starting to suffer, as I wasn’t getting enough sleep; so Haldir was making me go to bed right after supper. He would clean up, take Roxy out, and then climb into bed with me. We started making love after I would get home from work, and I learned how to make love in the shower, in the hallway, and on the dining room table. We were still having to figure out a comfortable way to make love on the kitchen counter, but Haldir and I made it into a game, to see if we could make love on every surface in the apartment. I was tired when I got home, but Haldir would greet me in nothing but a smile and that would be enough to get me going. I’m sure Roxy thought her owners were crazy, but she put up with us.

One night, I had the oddest dream. Except it wasn’t a dream. Haldir and I were in this space, it had no colour, no shape, but I could feel that it was big. It felt like a huge space. I couldn’t make out what we were standing on, but it felt solid. I looked at Haldir and he reached out and took my hand.

“Are we dreaming?” I asked.

“No. You are not,” a strange voice answered me.

An elderly gentleman came into view, with a long beard and hair, wearing white robes, and carrying a staff. “She has bonded to you?” The question was directed to Haldir.

“Yes Mithrandir,” Haldir confirmed, “Susan, this is Mithrandir, a powerful Maia from my homeland. Mithrandir, this is my wife, Susan.”

“A pleasure,” he nodded towards me, “This complicates things mellon.”

Haldir looked chagrined, “I was sent to another world without my permission, and you have the gall to tell me this complicates things?”

Mithrandir had the decency to look abashed, “I apologize. We had to get you out of there before you were killed.”

I was shocked, “Killed? What is he talking about Haldir?”

“I was in the middle of a battle, and things were not looking very positive for me,” he admitted, “Before I knew it, I was standing in the middle of the road, and you came along.”

“Thank you for assisting my friend,” Mithrandir told me, “But we have need of you once again, mellon.”

“Why? What is happening?” Haldir sounded upset.

“You must return. There is another task for you, before you can cross to the Blessed Lands.”

“I’m not going to Aman. I have decided to stay with my wife, and live among the Race of Men,” Haldir resolutely told him.

“You are Edhel! You are among the Firstborn! You must cross. You do not have the same choice as the Peredhil! You must cross or fade!”

I didn’t like the sound of that, “You can’t die Haldir! I love you! You can’t die!”

Mithrandir smiled gently at me, “He will not if he crosses, but he cannot stay with you.”

I began to tear up as I realized the prediction I had made the year before on Vancouver Island was coming true. Haldir would go home without me. I would lose the only person I had ever loved truly and totally.

“No. I am staying with my wife,” Haldir stubbornly spoke.

Mithrandir looked like he was about to get very frustrated. He looked at me and then back at Haldir. “Wait here. I must confer with my associates.” He walked away into the mistiness.

While we waited, I hugged Haldir close, “I know you don’t want to leave. I don’t want you to leave either, but I think you have to go. It’s like my dream was warning us this would happen.”

“No. I will not leave you. I want you to bear my children. I want to see you grow old…” he whispered into my hair.

“Won’t you grow old?” I asked, interrupting him.

“No. I am Edhel. I am an Elf. We are immortal, unless we are killed in battle or we fade if we lose someone we love.”

I buried my face into his chest, “I can’t let you fade. I don’t know what happens to you if you fade. I’ll live again, reincarnation is the cornerstone of my belief system, but unless you die like me, I can’t guarantee where you’ll end up.”

“In the Halls of Mandos,” Haldir told me, “I will reside in the Halls of Mandos.”

I shook as I cried, “You have to do what you need to stay alive.”

“I’m staying with you,” he firmly told me.

Mithrandir returned, “You need to come back Haldir. I cannot change that, but there will be a provision for your bride.”

I perked up, “Provision?”

Mithrandir took my hand, “You will join him once the crisis has been averted. Then we will figure out what to do with you.” He patted my hand gently, “You have thrown a horseshoe into the mix, m’dear. But we will overcome.”

“I cannot help if I met my fëa mate!” Haldir tossed his head angrily.

“So we see mellon. So we see,” Mithrandir shook his head, “None of us could have predicted your mate to live in this world. Not one of us thought to check before we sent you.”

“Someone knew,” I spoke up.

Mithrandir pierced me with his gaze. “I mean, the whole week before Haldir came to me, I’d been having these dreams. And well, here he is,” I finished lamely.

Mithrandir pulled a pipe out of the depths of his robe and began to prep it. “Indeed? Well, this deserves some extra attention,” He lit the pipe and began to puff upon it, “Haldir, you will need to leave tomorrow evening. Prepare yourself. I will send you the coordinates for you to cross. You, my lady, will have to be patient. I will contact you when it is time for you to cross. Be vigilant.”

With that, the communication was cut off and we were sent back in a swirl of mist. I awoke panting in Haldir’s arms.

“You are really going aren’t you?” I asked fearfully.

“Yes, but you will follow me,” he held me close, “Especially if I have anything to do with it.”

I cried against his chest, “I knew this would happen!”

“It will be fine my love. Please do not cry so. Let me spend the last hours with you, making love to my wife,” he kissed me gently.

I leaned over and picked up the phone, “Let me call in to work then.” Once I had called in sick, we spent the rest of the day making lazy love, eating in bed, and leaving the apartment only to take Roxy out and get some fresh air.

By six pm, Haldir had gathered his belongings, put on the clothes he wore the day I met him, and we walked out into the evening gloom. A light rain had started, so I opened my umbrella, and we walked to the coordinates in silence. He stopped us at the foot of Howe Street, and smiled.

“It is time,” he ruefully told me.

“I’ll miss you something terrible,” I kissed him.

“I will yearn for your return to me,” he whispered in my ear, “I love you Susan. Never forget.”

“I won’t,” I tearfully told him.

The street was deserted with only a couple of passing cars left over from the evening exodus. Haldir let go of my hand and stepped over the line, disappearing into thin air.

I collapsed on the ground, sobbing in my grief.


Mellon - my friend
Fëa – spirit
Maia- lesser (non-Vala) Ainur