Vaniel, My Heart

Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. No monies are being made from this work. Original characters are part of the story and owned by the author.

Vaniel, My Heart
by Sienna Dawn


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 12 - To Travel

The next day....

Vaniel learned Haldir was making ready to leave Imladris, and her heart sank. Why was he departing now, after having only arrived?

She stared out past the window of her chamber and sighed. She could easily guess why he'd be leaving. She well knew how poorly her behavior had been the night before. Was this what had spurred his desire to leave earlier than usual? She could not let him leave without a final word to him, a final glance!

Quickly making up her mind, Vaniel left her chamber and half-walked, half-ran to a group of assembled elves, where she'd spotted several of Haldir's friends. Managing to ask casually, she soon learned of Haldir's whereabouts and quickly set off once more. She never noticed the amused glances the elves gave her as she quickly turned on her heel and strode away.

She didn't want to give the impression that anything but a casual stroll was on her mind, so Vaniel forced herself to walk, albeit as quickly as possible, to the stables, where she had been told he was dressing his steed. Silently, she slipped into the large building, determined to set aright what she had brought to pass.

Almost at once she spotted him near the great Ronahor, his steed of many years and battles. But Rohanor was not easily fooled and Vaniel was not surprised to hear the horse snort gently at seeing her. She noticed that Haldir was, indeed, readying his steed for travel.

The moment Rohanor alerted Haldir that someone was nearby, Haldir turned stealthily to one side. But when he realized who his visitor was, he paused and smiled. Vaniel, not certain, halted and waited for a moment.

"Vaniel!" Haldir exclaimed and placed the brush down. He approached her, his hands held out in a gesture of friendship. She took his hands and noticed how calloused they were. When their hands touched, both became instantly aware of a strong flame that leaped from one to the other and they stilled, looking silently into each other's eyes.

Finally, blushing slightly, for she saw open admiration in Haldir's eyes, Vaniel spoke, still keeping her hands in his.

"Haldir" Vaniel began, "I am come to beg your forgiveness for my behavior of the night past." Her golden eyes beseeched him.

But Haldir laughed, causing Vaniel even more confusion. Did he think her apology amusing?

Haldir, seeing the storm gathering behind her eyes, quickly shook his head. "Nay, there is no need for you to beg my forgiveness, for we are all given to sadness and melancholy sometimes." He lowered his voice, "But it is because you have suffered more than most that I safeguard your heart. You are after all, my kinswoman." His eyes beheld her with true affection.

Vaniel winced, and before she knew it, she had blurted out, "It woud be kinder, I think, if you would stop reminding me of our connection, though we truly do not share the same blood! Is it your intent, then, to torment me always with this claim?" Her tone was uncharacteristically harsh and her features hard.

Haldir frowned, "Why does this disturb you so, Vaniel? You have been thought of as kin to my family since the day you were brought here and adopted by Eryniel." His eyes searched her face.

Vaniel lowered her eyes and shook her head. Releasing one of her hands, Haldir gently brought her chin up and his eyes met hers. He saw pain in the deep golden pools, and he chided himself for causing it. It was then he thought it best to tell her the true reason he was dressing Rohanor. Haldir well knew why Vaniel had come running to the Stables. She believed he was leaving Imladris because of their heated words, and so he suspected she'd come to say goodbye. Nearly melting inside the honey of her eyes, he thought, "As if I ever could truly leave you."

Closing his eyes briefly to clear his head, Haldir said, "I have been thinking. I believe you have spent too much time walled in within this city. Fair as it is, my spirit too feels the fading of Imladris. And although my spirit is strong, yours may be more susceptible for your captivity. " His face grew more serious, " I know you struggle with the decision to stay in Middle Earth or take the Straight Road."

"And yet," Haldir asked, his blue eyes steady on Vaniel's face, "you are to make this decision without benefit of wisdom into the world of Men?" He saw Vaniel watched him quietly, studying his face as if she searched for something there.

Haldir looked upon Vaniel carefully. He continued, "Come Spring, the city of Gondor will celebrate the defeat of Sauron. Elladan plans to travel hence. Would you not desire to see this fair city? It can be arranged if you so desire." His sapphire eyes glowed softly. "At last would you see the good that is in Men. And beside, would this not help you in deciding to stay or go?"

Vaniel thought for a moment and realized Haldir was right. How else could she decide unless she was to see as much of Middle Earth as she could? She had seen the worst of Men while slave to the Druedain. She might as well try to discover the best of them.

Nodding to Haldir, Vaniel smiled and realized she still held one of his hands. Dropping it quietly, she answered, "Yes, I think that would be good for my spirit." Her eyes locked onto Haldir's calm blue gaze. "Thank you, Haldir."

He nodded. "Then let us talk together." Haldir began putting away the brush and bucket he had used to groom Rohanor, while Vaniel watched his graceful movements.

When Haldir was done, he turned to her, his face now serious. "Come, there is much for us to discuss and I would have you know some things kept from you." His eyes calmly studied her face, and he held out an arm for Vaniel.

Seeing the confusion in her eyes, Haldir gently took Vaniel's hand, placed it on his forearm, and then led her out of the building.

Allowing Haldir to lead her, Vaniel was confused and curious at Haldir's words. What did he mean by his curious comment? What things did he know? Turning her face to search his, she saw a slight frown crease the smooth forehead. She knew he harbored a deep worry. No matter, she would wait for him to speak.

Together they left the Stables and came to a quiet spot in the outer gardens of the Palace. Here, Haldir halted and allowed Vaniel to sit on one of the many stone benches that spotted the area. He knew he had to tell her many things and was at a loss as how to proceed. Watching her as she raised her amber eyes to his, Haldir experienced an unfamiliar current of emotion which he quickly pushed away.

"Not now." He thought to himself, "Not ever." He chided himself again, and then let his eyes smile calmly although his spirit was torn.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~