A Gift of Love

CHAPTER 11
Two Long Weeks

I had thought Gandalf may relent, or reveal to us a jest as the time draws near for me to play my part. I have eyed the vial that contains the potion I am to consume with suspicion. Watching Elrohir drink his sips each day over the last full cycle I have oft wondered what lay awaiting me. Now as I wait for my brother to join me in our rooms I twirl the small bottle in my fingers. It catches the light sending a myriad of colours dancing around the room. For a moment I think I hear laughter, soft and melodic. I turn to look behind me, catching only a glimpse of dark hair flying. Unsure of what I have seen I move to the open doors that lead to the garden. Again soft laughter rings out. I make a step into the garden itself when there is a noise of a door opening and then shutting again behind me. As I turn I hear hushed voices, then all is quiet as I step instead to Elrohir who enfolds me in his embrace.

I shake my head, set down the bottle I still hold in my hand, and wrap my arms around him.

"It is our last night, " he whispers hotly in my ear, his tongue already circling the pointed tip before I can reply to him.

"So there is to be no reprieve?¨ The question is redundant, I know it before the words have formed. It would amuse the wizard to prescribe this. He knows us well.

"No, there is none. We begin on the morrow.¨

Elrohir looks to the glass bottle I have set down, then to the red bottle that has traveled with us these past days. I follow his gaze next to the blue vial. I do not have to ask on what he thinks, yet he gives voice to his thoughts.

"I wish it fairer than the last, for I will not mourn the end of that foul stuff.¨

There is quiet for a moment as we both think on what is before us. Again I hear faint laughter, two voices clear as ringing bells. I look to Elrohir but he makes no sign he has heard. I suspect young ones close by, though none would enter our garden unbidden. I frown and would make move to satisfy my curiosity but a kiss to my shoulder followed by a hard bite to my neck has me forget all. My perception of the world around me becomes limited to my brother tugging at the waist band of my leggings. I hear only the soft moans as he presses his body hard to mine.

"We waste too much time Elladan, I want to have a memory to cling to when I cannot touch you.¨

I cannot deny my brother anything he desires, and there will be no argument on this. I too wish for something to remember when we lay close and yet must calm our bodies. We will talk further on how this can be done. I cannot give up also the sharing of our bed.
I had thought to ask for time away but Gandalf would not have it done. We must partake of our potions together. Perhaps it is a further test of our resolve to do this, perhaps it is indeed that the wizard¡'s humour is not one we understand fully.

Elrohir has undressed us both as I return to him from my musings. My brother smiles at me. The future frightens me more than I will tell, but the present¡K¡Kah for the present I am his without reservation and I tell him so as my hands roam over his perfect firm body and my mouth nips at his skin.

We stand in front of the arch that leads to our garden, the light that had played over the glass in my hand now dances over our bodies. It gives our flesh a glow of gold. Elrohir kneels before me, his hands gliding down my thighs. He nuzzles my awakening flesh with his mouth then tongue before taking it whole into his mouth. I sway at the touch and the motion of his hands on me. It is as if I am in a dream, nay trance. I am under Elrohir's spell and I have no wish to be otherwise. He bewitches me, drives me to heights of ecstasy that seem unlimited and unbounded. When at last I can bear it no more my hands tangle in his hair, pulling at him as he works his soft lips over my hard flesh, my hips flexing, pushing my straining erection further into the wet warmth. With a silent scream, I fling my head back and feel the steady flow of pearled white fluid into his waiting eager mouth. Elrohir, my brother and lover rises slowly to his feet, my now limp organ slipping from his mouth. His kiss is sweet and salt, he twines his tongue around mine, still hungry for more of me. He moves us toward the bed, he falling first onto its soft mattress, pulling me with him. But it is not long before it is I who is pressed to the silken sheets.

We are beyond the need for any preparation other than his moist tip and it would not matter if it were otherwise. I will accept him without question or heed to any hurt that would come. I desire him with as much need as he has for me.

I do scream aloud as he enters me though he bears down on my mouth hard, not to stifle the cry but because it stirs him so. I can still taste the remains of my orgasm as he stirs me to new arousal. His own buried now deep within me, he begins to move, slow at first with a teasing grin on his beautiful face. His hands hold my hips so I cannot move as I would want. He takes pity and moves faster, his smooth hardness gliding skillfully over sensitive spots only he has ever touched. Soon he too is calling to me in passion, one hand caressing my flesh, stroking in rhythm with his thrusts. With one hard press of his hips he holds, his body shaking with the climax, my name on his lips as my body fills with his seed.

Elrohir falls to my waiting arms, ours kisses are hard and bruising, full of need still for each other, heedless of what we have just done. It is unsaid still but we can feel it within each other. The dread of what is to come. I would sooner face a horde of orc with Sauron at their head than have chosen this path for us.

As if he knows my inner turmoil, Elrohir strokes his hand across my brow, pushing back the hair that lingers there.

"We will survive.¨ He grins but there is a hint behind that smile that he is as unconvinced as I.

"We will,¨ I agree reluctantly, turning my head to catch a glimpse of the world beyond our bed. "The moon does not yet give way to the sun,¨ I observe.

My lover laughs and nods in agreement. ¡§It does not yet,¡¨ he agrees, his mouth swiftly on mine once more, his fingers over my ears in deliberate arousal.

We wake a tangle of limbs, our hair awry about each other. The dawn had brought with it not a sky painted with pinks and golds, but dark grey clouds. My smile is resigned. It could be the heavens too have marked this day a dark one.

Elrohir stirs as I seek to unravel leg from leg, arm from arm. He looks at me with such innocence as one newly awaken that I am hard pressed to deliver no more than the soft kiss to his brow.

"It does not mean we cannot kiss or hold each other close.¨

I hear his words as I rise from the bed. No, it does not I agree silently, but for so long such things have been the beginnings of what we must now give up. It will not be so hard in the company of others. We have long schooled ourselves to held what we feel until the time is better suited to such. But until the sun rises fourteen times more, there will be no better time.

"It does not,"¨ I say with Elrohir awaiting my reply.

"The day matches your mood then,¨ he jests poorly to find another way to me.

I stand where I have stood many times since Elrohir voiced his intent. I stare at the clouds that gather in the distance. Beyond though there is a glimmer of light. I turn back to my brother. He has come to stand with me. I smile as I take his hand in mine, lacing fingers.

"Perhaps there is hope for both the day and my mood.¨

Elrohir pulls me toward the table. Again I eye the vials there ruefully.

"I wish them more pleasant,¨ he says but looks doubtful. He takes mine, pours the measure into the waiting glass. I do the same for him. In truth the mixtures look similar. Both shine within the glass like polished mithril. With an encouraging nod Elrohir raises the glass to my lips as I hold to his. We pour the liquid into the mouth of the other. If this is what Elrohir had endured over the past cycle of the moon then I have a new appreciation of his tolerance and resolve. It is beyond vile. I choke as I swallow and Elrohir grins.

"Yours?¨ I ask.

"As yours is I fear by your face, though a little sweeter than the last.¨

I draw him to me, place a chaste kiss on his brow.

"I love you.¨

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The day improved a little and so did my brother. I did not care to see him so melancholy and told him thus. He smiled faintly at me, and for my sake struggled to see another side.

It would not be easy, I knew this.

Elladan spends his time in almost endless activity. There will be none to match him once our time is up. I wonder as I watch him occasionally glancing from the book I read if he knows the sight he offers. His upper body is bare, his skin glistening in the sunlight. He had tied his hair back this day and it hangs down his back, a contrast to his gold tinged skin. With each parry of his sword the muscles of his arm and stomach flex. His power holds me in awe for I know the tenderness of his touch that belies the strength seen here.

I have not given up my training. At Elladan¡¦s urging I continue to hone my body with both sword and bow, though of late I have turned more to the books housed in Ada's library. I read again too the parchment that was so fortuitously place in my hands. It continues to give me strength and hope. I feel the presence of both Elured and Elurin when I recount their journey. I have not shown this to Elladan, unsure what he would make of it if he knew I had placed my faith in a manuscript of uncertain origin.

I watch Elladan feint and weave against our Ada's golden lover. They had attracted a small gathering to them, others knowing the display they will be treated too. I smile, not all come to watch the mastery of sword. I cannot blame them, both are spectacular in appearance. My attention wanders this day to the visions I have been granted. Our sons will be as strong and dark as the ones who sired them. I wonder too on the first born child of a male elf. There is little mention in the parchments other than the joy that was brought at the birth. Does he know of his lineage, from whence he sprung? Did he rejoice as did his sires? I hope it fared well for I have come to regard the lack of further entries in the journal as a sign that what passed later was only for the eyes of this little family.

Elladan would say I am moving too swiftly in my contemplations of our offspring. I touch my flat stomach. I know in the not distant future there will be life within. Tiny images of my beloved brother. What will they think when their heritage is revealed to them.

The crowd has thinned when I again look to my brother. He smiles and comes to sit at my side. I put down the parchments to give him my full attention. My hand rests on the hard muscle of his forearm.

He will rest quickly tonight once out of his bath. It is the night that we fret most. Elladan will not hear of us sleeping apart despite what the closeness of our bodies does to us. So he exerts himself fully in daylight so that we may rest easier in our bed and not be tempted. And I content myself with watching over him until I too succumb to dreamless sleep.

The wizard watches over us both. As does Ada when Gandalf cannot. I will not know until later of the meetings the two have had with my brother, nor of the existence of a liquid that has been entrusted to Elladan alone. A potion to be used only in the most heinous of circumstances.

Elladan touches my hand that I have laid on him and I realize my attention has once again wandered. He stands holding out his hand now to me.

"Walk with me?¨ he asks, "I would have your company awhile.¨

This too is a ritual we have taken to. The walk calms Elladan. It is a chance to be together and yet not, for many eyes watch us on the path to the bridge at the river¡¦s bank. We stand looking at the flow of the water, the dancing reeds and occasionally the beads of water as they shine in the sun. He will slip his arm around my waist, lay his head on my shoulder and ask what it is that has caught my attention in the books I have read. This day I will tell him of the manner of birth in mortal kind when the babe is unwilling to enter the world. I describe how the child is cut from the mother's body. Elladan pales. I laugh at my brave warrior brother who will face any in battle, suffer any wound without fear. My healer brother who I have seen not turn away on any wound on the fields of war.

There is no quick retort to my jesting. He looks at the water then his gaze turns to me and I am held tight in a bruising kiss despite the openness of our setting.

"I cannot lose you Elrohir.¨

I stroke his hair. ¡§And you will not Elladan.¡¨

There is more to this but he does not speak further of it and I do not press him. Nor do I continue with what I have learned. This will be the way the child is separated from me. I am soothed by the knowledge of how it is to be. I try to give Elladan this same measure of peace as I gently rock him in my arms.

"It is time to go back.¨ Elladan smiles at me, though I still see the shadow in his eyes. "I am in need of a bath.¨

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I cannot tell Elrohir what his words have awoken in my mind. As I lie in the bath filled with steaming water, the air rife with the scent of the herbs and oils he has placed in the water, I hold up my hands and see the blood. Elrohir's blood. I have never had to tend him on the battlefield, we have been lucky that no orc blade has ever pierced his flesh and drawn forth the torrent of blood I have seen in others. And now there will be his blood on my hands.

I rise from the bath. He stands at the doorway. I have known. We always know where the other is. He holds out a towel, wrapping it around my waist, guiding me to the meal he has prepared for us. It is another ritual that gets us through each day. Another day to cross from the list. They move agonizingly slowly.

"It will soon be over,¨ Elrohir ever cheerful tells me. And each day he is right. It will soon be over and my part in it will begin.

We will eat and then Elrohir will read to me while I rest my head on his chest as we lie on our bed. And I will drift to sleep and he will watch awhile. And when we awake it will be a new day and we will be another small step closer.

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I watch Elladan sleep as I have these last nights. Soon it will all be over, this enforced celibacy of ours. I know the reason of it but the knowing does not make it any the easier. There must be time for my body to change, to accept Elladan¡¦s seed. But I long for him, desire far more than a chaste touch. Our kiss on the bridge had not made my resolve any the stronger. As I stroke his hair that falls over his shoulder, I think back to the last day we touched. It is a bittersweet memory. It is fortunate he sleeps unaware of my thoughts. His skin is sun kissed, his muscles taunt. When he shifts in his sleep the loose sleeping attire shifts down revealing more the effects of his vigorous exercise. How little he realizes this balm to him is a stimulant to me. I run my hand over the tight sinew and he moans in his dreams. I would do more, but like other nights previous I remove my hand, nestle down to him and join him in sleep. When the sun rises it will signal a day closer to the time I will hear my brother moan while he is conscious of my touch.