An uir

Beta: Tena
Pairing: Elrond/Erestor, (Glorfindel/?)

Author's Notes: I love Elrond, but I’m quite picking with his lovers. The delicious Peredhel deserves only best, and lovely Erestor too, of course.
And thank you so much for your excellent betaing, Tena! Without you I was lost.

Feedback: I would be so happy if you tell me what you think.

Enjoy,


Zilah

Chapter 1

Elrond, the Lord of Imladris, sat in his usual place eating his breakfast and conversing with Glorfindel who sat next to him. He didn’t seem notice at all his chief councilor, who made his way towards table. When Erestor was almost beside him, Elrond bowed his head slightly, and greeted the elf formally. While Erestor took his seat, Elrond had already turned away from him, and continued his conversation with Glorfindel.

Erestor tried to be as distant and expressionless as possible. This cold and aloof mask on his face had been his constant companion several years now. Sometimes he thought why he even bothered to come here. He could eat in his rooms, where he could be with his own peace. Erestor tried to not notice the conversation taking place beside him, but it was obvious that his presence wasn’t wanted.

This wasn’t new to Erestor. The situation had been going on this way several years now. Everything had started during the horrible time when Elrond’s beloved wife, Lady Celebrían, was wounded by orcs and she had started to fade. That was when Elrond had turned away from Erestor. Since then, their relationship has been cold and distant. It was very hard to remember anymore that Elrond and he had once been close friends. But there was nothing he could do. There was nothing but keep his façade as solid as possible and to act as everything was in order. He hoped nobody could see what he thought about at that moment. How it hurt to be ignored by his Lord in such a way.

He ate quickly, and rose, hurrying to his duties. When he reached his study, he stepped in and locked the door tightly. He sat behind his desk and buried his face in his hands. It seemed that his fears were true. Elrond and Glorfindel... were they together?


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Erestor POV:

“I don’t know how much more I can take...I have to consider leaving, once more. Why, why he has to be so cold to me? Is it really too much asked, if he even greeted me more friendly? What I have done to him, to deserve treatment like this? And how in Arda was I so foolish to fall in love with him? He has never seen me any other than his chief councilor... It is useless to wish more. And now...when Glorfindel is here, even my job is threatened. Elrond doesn’t need me anymore. He doesn’t want me here.

How happy I was when my beloved Glorfindel came back to me! And I still am. He is the only one who keeps me here. His friendship means everything to me. But maybe this was never meant to be. Maybe I find my own path somewhere else, as far as possible? I know I would miss sorely my golden friend, but he is going to forget me soon. He seems to enjoy himself, while being with Elrond. And they are excellent match... It just hurts so much to see them together.

Not that I could blame Glor, for he deserves to have happiness. He has already suffered so much that I’m glad when he found someone to love. I never forget his first nights here, when he saw those terrible nightmares. But they are over, as my time here seems to be...

I so miss those times when everything was otherwise. I never forget that fateful night when I was brought back to Imladris, wounded by orcs... It was the very same attack which took your beloved wife from you Elrond... And after that night everything changed.

I still remember the way you looked at me, concern in your eyes, but so much more I saw in your gaze. And when you touched me, to heal me...how I trembled in your arms. Not for pain, but very knowledge that I loved you more than anything. It took me by surprise, and after that everything was different. I struggled with my awakening feelings, the very same time when you tried desperately heal your beloved, without success. And when the Lady left... It was terrible to look at your despair and grief... How I wanted to console you, to take you in my arms and hold you... forever! But that can never be, I know it by now. Instead you turned away from me, and I’m now alone in my misery, between love and agony.

Do you know about my feelings Elrond? Is this the reason why you are so distant? Don’t you trust me, after so many millennia of friendship? You should know that I could never express my love, while I know that you don’t return my feelings. How could I ever hurt you, in any way? You are far too important for me, even more than my Glor...

What did I do to you Elrond, to deserve your coldness?”


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Erestor was startled when he heard someone knocking at his door. He tried to compose himself, and went to door, opening it. And to his great relief, it wasn’t Elrond, but Glorfindel with a worried look on his face.

“Glor, meldir (friend), come in, please”, Erestor smiled at his friend.

“Erestor, is something in amiss? Why did you leave so quickly from breakfast, and you even didn’t answered my greeting?”

Glorfindel was worried for his friend. It was quite clear that Erestor wasn’t happy. Something tormented him, and Glorfindel had asked this same question many times. Too often, for his liking. He feared that Erestor was fading. He seemed so tired and sad nowadays. Glorfindel couldn’t remember when he had seen Erestor smiling. And there was something else that bothered Glorfindel. He had noticed several times now how coldly Elrond treated Erestor. What was between them? How was possible that Elrond, warm and caring elf, was totally different when Erestor was near?

Glorfindel wished that Erestor would talk to him about what was wrong. He didn’t want to loose him to grief. He has been overjoyed when he had arrived to Imladris two years ago, and found Erestor here. His friend was the only one who was left from his life in Gondolin. Only one who reminded him from his lost beloved, Ecthelion. And how much Erestor was like his big brother... beautiful, wise and brave.

Erestor had been but elfling when Gondolin had fallen. But even then everybody could see that Erestor was special. And Glorfindel had loved his husband’s little brother like his own. And he still loved him.

“I will be fine. Thank you for your concern”, Erestor tried to say, but stopped when he noticed that Glorfindel didn’t believe him.

“Erestor! Please, meldir... you know how precious you are to me. I would do anything for you, and to see smile on your beautiful face. I have seen it far too seldom lately. Please, tell me what is wrong”, Glorfindel said softly.

Erestor hung his head, trying to suppress his tears. Glorfindels’ gentleness tore his heart even more, and he turned away. He didn’t want Glor to see him like this, crying and grieving. Not just now, when he has finally happy himself. Glorfindel deserved only best. Not him, not some jealous friend who desperately tried to grasp the past. He tried to struggle when Glorfindel lifted his chin, making their gazes to meet.

Glorfindel was startled when he saw tears in Erestor’s eyes. And suddenly Erestor’s mask broke and he was crying desperately. Glorfindel did the only thing he could, and pulled Erestor in his arms, trying to soothe him.

It took quite long time before Erestor calmed down. He clung to Glorfindel tightly, trying desperately to gain comfort from his closeness. He had been alone for so long, and it felt so good to be in his friends’ strong embrace. He thought himself that it was far too long since someone had held him like this. Erestor closed his eyes and felt finally being safe and warm.

Glorfindel waited patiently. He just held his friend in his arms, trying to think what was wrong and how he could help. Only thing he knew, and that was that Erestor needed him now, maybe more than ever before. And he was more than ready for that. It was Erestor who had came to him at his first nights in here, and when he had had terrible nightmares. It was Erestor who succeed to soothe his anguish. Glorfindels’ first months had been so difficult that he didn’t know how he could ever recover without Erestor. And in Gondolin... Glorfindel still remembered the little elfling, who has been so beautiful, not only his appearance, but his fëa (soul) also. And now, several millennia later, Erestor was still the most beautiful elf he knew. How he wanted to see Erestor happy.

“If you ever find someone, your lover will be the most blessed elf in whole Arda! You deserve someone special, like you are”, Glorfindel thought mentally.

Suddenly the door opened and they saw Elrond standing inside the room with a cold express upon his face.