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April 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i do hope you havnt abandoned this story for good as i really enjoy it. hope you update.
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July 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is an awsome fanfic. Pleeeeeeeeease update soon.
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July 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I'm glad someone told off Haldir. Maybe Glofindel and Elrond will set him straight please continue
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July 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm.
I'm not comfortable with this story, even though I read it straight through in one sitting, which says alot for the story being told.
The major thing that bothers me is the consistent theme of abuse as punishment. I don't know what culture you come from, but I would think that Elves would have far better and more creative appropriate forms of punishment than a good beating. Telling someone you love them and then turning them over your knee? I'm glad that you are displaying Haldir as an abuser, finally, but I think that having such powerful Elves as Glorfindel and Galadriel resort to spanking a MarchWarden seems counter-productive.
I also think the transition from Legolas being abused, trodden down, and using self-infliction as a coping mechanism, to his being a strong maternal in protection of Rumil is too fast. If he is that trodden down, I can't see him standing up to Haldir that way. It was too fast..too sudden.
I'm interested to see where you are taking this story, and I'm with Tuxedo Elf in hoping that in the end your maternals will be seen as equals.
One tiny suggestion: substitute "all right" when you want to say "okay". Okay as a word didn't enter venacular speech until the late 1800's and it's very hard to envision an elegant, ancient elf saying Okay.
I'm not comfortable with this story, even though I read it straight through in one sitting, which says alot for the story being told.
The major thing that bothers me is the consistent theme of abuse as punishment. I don't know what culture you come from, but I would think that Elves would have far better and more creative appropriate forms of punishment than a good beating. Telling someone you love them and then turning them over your knee? I'm glad that you are displaying Haldir as an abuser, finally, but I think that having such powerful Elves as Glorfindel and Galadriel resort to spanking a MarchWarden seems counter-productive.
I also think the transition from Legolas being abused, trodden down, and using self-infliction as a coping mechanism, to his being a strong maternal in protection of Rumil is too fast. If he is that trodden down, I can't see him standing up to Haldir that way. It was too fast..too sudden.
I'm interested to see where you are taking this story, and I'm with Tuxedo Elf in hoping that in the end your maternals will be seen as equals.
One tiny suggestion: substitute "all right" when you want to say "okay". Okay as a word didn't enter venacular speech until the late 1800's and it's very hard to envision an elegant, ancient elf saying Okay.
schedule
July 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh, just wanted to add that you did very well at portraying the events that shaped Rumil as he is here, the abuse and rejection at the hands of his parents, trying to force him into something he was not. Very apt and very well done. :)
schedule
July 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like your story very much. It would be even better, if you reduce the spankings.
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June 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow this is so sad.... BUT I LUV IT!! Bring on the PAIN!!! Hmmm.... I'm really sick ain't I??
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June 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was not right of Haldir punishing a maternal who isn't even his.I hope that maternal's husband will bring Haldir down back to earth because I think that he's acting like an ass.A very big one.
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June 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well,I'm confused now on the last chapter that I have read.
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June 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG I thought you'd never update!