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for You Broke My Heart…

by sivan325

person Cait
schedule June 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
OMG! That was so depressing. Poor Legolas. *cries*
person Anais
schedule May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Snif! poor leggy! so sad! *kicks unfaithful lover somewhere nasty*
Nice vignette, but it would be better if you got someone to beta read it for you, there are some pbs with the tenses: like "I collapse on the floor" instead of "collapsed", or some words are missing like "I watched you last time" instead of "one last time". If you want, I can do it, I love to beat read for short stories, its always a satisfying task! I'm not a grammar goddess, but I'm not bad either :)

Ana
person Nightley
schedule May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
WOW.... short but very powerful. Am truly speechless. (Just curious - one of the twins?)
person Wanda
schedule March 14, 0000 at 12:00 AM
It is a good start. I wish the chapter had been longer but then I always say that I enjoy getting lost in a good fiction without having to move on to the next chapter and waite for it to load