The Secret Life Of Code

This is just a fun random Story Told by Pippin Took. This Person he is telling the story about was a Role Play Pearson who was very serious and for the fun of it Pippin Deicded to Tease him and write this funny story of the life of Code. So Warning its random but I think its funny haha. SO if you like to read random funny stuff go ahead but if not turn away now haha which I know not many people will not read this anyways oh well.

Well Enjoy
Duo Maxwell


“Once upon a time there lived a Vampire Named Code.” He was a lively chap never had to many problems to complain about.” I am just the person to tell you this story I would know I am his best friend.” Big cheesies grin. “The one and Only Peregrin Took and joining me is my cousin and best friend Merry Brandybuck. Just call us Merry and Pippin.”

“Hi everyone.” Merry waves with big smile on his face “peace up A town down” he says throwing up the sign which was a peace sign then he turned his peace sign upside down and made an A. “So let us peek in on how happy Code’s life is.”

“Merry you got the ladder held steady?” I wonder to him as we prop along ladder up against Code’s really tall tower.

“You bet I do Pippin.” Merry answers me.

He was actually leaning against it just smoking his pipe but I only know these things because I am the storyteller and I know all.

So I peek into Code’s bedroom to show you all how wonderful his life is. Peeks in window and gets a dagger thrown at my head then a white hand with nice long white clean finger nails grabs me by the neck and now I am face to face with our main star.
Don’t worry dagger missed me, ”What in hells bells are you doing little pip squeak!” He didn’t sound too happy but don’t let that fool you.

“Nothing I was just coming up here to see if my mushrooms were ready.” I answer him with a shrug the best I can while being held hostage.

“Shut up what mushrooms!” He says throttling me a little more. The air in my lungs was going out and I think my face was turning blue. Don’t worry I am a trained professional at this don’t try this with Code only I can do these things and still live.

“Code let that poor hobbit go your cutting off his air.” His lovely mistress Ace says as she comes gliding into the room.

“Oh so sorry.” He let me go out the window which was a mile high up and Merry caught me.

“Good catch Merry.” I lay my head on his soldier

“No problem what are friends for maybe we should watch Code from our spy cam instead what do you think?” Merry says patting me on the head.

“Most excellent idea no wonder I brought you along someone has to be the brains.” I say with a big smile.

“Yeah or you’d be tossed out more windows now come on.” He takes off with me running like sonic the hedge hog. He pulls a trees twig down and a rock opens up and now we are in our secrete hobbit hole.
With the state of the art monitors and camera equipment. Also we have a huge soft sofa to sit on and servants to bring us snacks.

We settle in, ”Boy, Merry I could us a snack.” I say looking at him he nods and takes out a silver bell and rings it.

“Frodo come now bring us some cookies.” Merry sings.

Frodo comes out in a French maids costume. ”Aw well done now go dust off the fire place,” Merry claps.

“I am not your servant.” He says slamming the cookies down and leaving.
“Well we tried now on with the show.” Turns on the telly vision
There is Code larger then life in full color on the silver screen he just got done spending sometime with Ace lets see what he’ll do now.

Code comes out of his room and trips over his boots and falls down the steps. “Ouch…My…Head…My…arm…My…Butt…someone…call…911…These…steps…are…really…long.” When he finally lands runs into Ace who was carrying some bottles of wine and she broke them right next to him and it got all over his cape. He stands up and sees little Pippin’s flying around his head. “OH who decided to make the steps that long?” He says now smelling like grapes he was a little slurry too.

“You made this place deer and why were you falling down the steps anyways?” She says putting her hands on her hips.

“I tripped over my boots.” He says looking down at his fingers. Ace shakes her head and smiles, ”I have told you that was going to happen one day didn’t I but you just have to find out for yourself.” She shrugs and kisses his noses, then goes to get something to clean up the mess.

Code looks up the steps “Bah I ain’t climbing up again I am just going barefoot today.” He thought yeah that’s a brilliant Idea. Hobbits do it all the time he was dead well kind of and why did the ALL mighty Code need shoes for anyways?

So barefoot he pitter patters to the front door and opens the huge black metal doors he has to be really strong but he is a vampire. Anyways as he comes outside now barefoot but dressed all the way from head to ankle he sees a dark cloud comining thinking nothing of it he decides to go into his garden and get radishes. When his friendly pal Legolas leaps on him from behind but when they land he is face to face with Code, ”How’s it going Buddy boy?” They were nose-to-nose Legolas was smiling and Code had a very angry look on his face. ”You rumpled my radishes!” He says sticking out his bottom lip, and tears well in his eyes.

“Oh I am sorry for rumpling them let me look at your radish.” He says holding his hand out.

“No way why?” Code says holding on to his mangled Radish like it was dear.

“Just trust me ok that’s what friends do.” He says putting a hand on his hip weighting. Code rolls his eyes and gives him the radish. ”Thank you,” Legolas says taking the radish and kisses it and they heal.

“Wow you brought back my radishes now I can go make that radish salad I have been wanting to try.” He says and starts to pick some radishes. Legolas helps and soon they have enough they go into the tower and Code makes the Salad and it wasn’t very good so they feed it to Legolas’s pet rabbit and she loved it.

“I knew Little Betty would love it she likes radishes.” Legolas says patting Code on the back. ”So Code why did you have a garden of vegetables anyways?
“It lures the hobbits and when they come and at lest drop them out my window well at lest that….Pi Pi” His eye twitches and he can’t say the name.

“Pippin?” Legolas asks with a smile.

Code growls, ”Yes that blasted hobbit has set my bed on fire 20 times in one day! “ He clinches his hands. ”I wonder if I’ll ever be rid of that farmit! “ He says punching his hand into his fist.
“Ouch that hurt,” He says through clinched teeth.

“Well Code hitting yourself isn’t the brightest thing to do you know.” Legolas says pointing this out kindly to Code.

“Well that flea bitten farmit makes me hit myself.” He says growling even more.

“Code stop talking like Yo Simiti Sam.” Legolas also adds on.

Code sighs and throws his hands up in the air.” I need a vacation or something.” He says walking to some place around there where he thought he’d be alone Legolas naturally fallows him, ”Great a vacation were are we going?”

“Your not coming this vacation is just for me and me alone! Now will you please kindly leave.” Code says opening the front door.

“Ok” Legolas steps out side his own palace walls. “Hey let me in!” He says pounding on the door. Code was having a good laugh Legolas always fell for that. The doors came back open and a pretty steamed Legolas comes in. ”Hey stop doing that to me.” He pokes Code in the chest.
“Why its funny?” Code finally gets some air back from laughing so hard. ”Well see you around Elfie.” He takes off and runs into a tree branch. “Oh I hate it when I do that.” He grumbles.

“Well Merry I’d say Code has it pretty well maid don’t you agree?” I wonder as I lean back enjoying mushrooms.

“Yeah he even gets to go on vacation.” Merry agrees drinking some good ol ale.
“Well let us look at where our hero is going on his vacation.” Turns back to the screen, Code was now in a very dark place were the stars shone and it was warm all the time. He was in Texas folks and in this Texas it was night all year round. Code relaxed next to a cactus with a bottle of whisky in one hand and a pipe of old toby hanging out of his right corner of his lips. His long silky black hair rested over his black vest that covered his chest
He had a slender feminism like look to him and purple gleaming eyes.
“Now this is more like it rest relaxation and best of all peace!” He tips his hat over his eyes and takes a snooze.
“Well that’s not very interesting lets liven the vacation up some shall we Pippin?” Merry says with his finger over the rain button.
“Yes lets sleeping isn’t very exciting at all.” We pushed the button together and cold rain comes pouring down on Code. He didn’t seem to realize there was rain something else had to happen.

“I know giant sand worm.” That was my idea I am not ashamed to admit it snickers. So while Code is snoozing a giant Sand worm comes and swallows him whole. But since he still had his pipe lit it was kind of hot so he spit Code out and still Code did not move.

“I wonder if he is dead?” Merry asks me which I don’t know.

“Should we poke him with a stick?” I say looking at Merry this must be serious. ”Emergency get me my poking stick.” I Say into an intercom and out comes Sam with a staff that looked oddly like Gandalfs white wizards staff. We push the button that sends us out into the Texas plains and I stand back as far as I can and poke him with the staff and he leaps up and chases after us.

“Yup he is alive.” I say to Merry as we run back to the trap door but the door was jammed.

“How can you be so sure he is still alive? Merry asks as we jump frantically on the trap door.

“Well he looks quite lively to me since he Is running toward us maybe he wants to give us a hug lets not deny him such a privilege.” I say and run toward him in slow motion, when we catch up to each other he picks me up spins me around and tosses me over the horizon like a diskcis. Merry soon fallowed after me only he looked more like one of those heavy ball things people throw in track as well but I can’t remember the name but it looks like a small cannon ball. As we are sailing,” This is a pretty good way to travel don’t you think Merry?” I say as we come over some very soft mattress that just happen to be there.

“Yes no walking to paying for inns no nothing when we get tired at the end there is always a nice soft bed to land on and take a nappy nap.”

We do land on the mattress and they are soft and we will be back after this short Nap brake stay toned…………………………………………………………….Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Hello I am Code Vamp and I have a new product for you, do you have a pesky Pippin buzzing around your head and body all day long. Well I have a solution for you. “Its called Mushroom Spray if you spray it on a tree or on a patch of Grass, he will eat that and everything else and become so big that he can’t move. Then just chop off his big plumpy head and let it roll into the river and sink to the bottom like a rock, That my friends will just take care of that pesky problem for you, but if that’s to much work, then put him in a box after killing him and set him on fire and watch him burn and blow away in the wind.” He nods and smiles showing his white fangs. His long black hair flows in the wind and he holds up the Pippin repellent.

“Now that was a rude commercial” Merry says we are now back at the secret hobbit hole. Sitting watching our big monitor again and Code is now with Ace and they are talking about weather the toilet lid should go up or down.

“Well how come you don’t put the seat up for me?” Code wondered with hands on hips.

“Because I don’t remember to
I am so sorry. But I think you should just put it down because I am the Queen.” That sounded good to Ace.

“Yeah but I am the king so maybe we should get someone else to do it for us.” Code says stroking his chin in thought.

“Who could we find?” Ace wonders also thinking about it. She had long black hair and ice blue eyes.

“Who would do such a thing..” Then he stops himself and sighs.” Ace since when do we use the loo?”

“Your right this is about the most retarded argument I have ever had!” They both walk out of the bathroom and lay on the bed at the same time.

“ I am bored Ace what should we do?” Code wonders looking up at his lovely cheery black ceiling.

“We could reek havoc in the hearts of humans.” She says rolling over on her stomach facing Code.

“Sounds fun but a lot of work, as well and there might be a fight or someone might try and stop us, then there will be all these massive problems again.” He sighs, ”Its just so cotton picking boring around this place.

Just then there was a pounding at the door. Code growls gets up and goes to see who it could be.
“What in the hell do you what!” He says and it’s a little girl no taller then his knee.

“Mommy he said a bad word!” Said the little elf like child. Then came a very tall elf who was taller then Code and had long yellow fingernails and snarling looking teeth. She was a swamp elf, ”Why are you using bad words in front of my child?”
She says peering down at him.

“What are you doing at my door?” Code wonders peering back at her then flying to her height, damn she was ugly he thought.

“Well we just come from Mirkwood Legolas sent us and told us to tell you your invited to a Banquet tomorrow night and he request you come can we have something to drink?” She ends she didn’t look like she was drying up.

“Um sure just wait right there.” He says and goes and gets some water out of a pump and brings it back for her in a bucket oh you are so kind.” She takes the drink and gulps it down.

“So you going to give any to your daughter?” Code wonders leaning against the door.

“Oh right I forgot Tadpole where you be child!” She calls looking around for Tadpole.

“Mummy me high high!” She calls from the top of Code’s tower.

“How in pickle sauces did you get up there!” Her mother calls.

“Me climb up the steps they no big deal for me mum watch this!” She drops a vace out from the window and it shatters on the side walk below.

“When I get you your hind end won’t be feeling to good little missy!” She shakes her large fist at her.

“Would you like me to retrieve the girl?” Code wondered not really feeling to patient with this messenger’s daughter.

“Yes please before she falls and dies!” She shoves Code toward the steps.

“Please I can fly.” He flies up to were she is and scoops her up.

“NO I don’t want to go down me like it up there!” She says wiggling and squirming.

“To Bad now you and your mum get out of here!” He says and turns on a huge fan and blows them away.
He thought that was horrifying worse then an orc even.

He goes inside and decides to visit Legolas early never a dull moment then.

He put on his hat and he checks the runway for take off and he sends to Ace in the tower who tells him he is cleared for lift off. He takes off into the dark sky flying toward the palace of Legolas. He flew so fast that he ran into the side of it and dropped down into the bushes and frightens the two guards on watch outside the door.

“Holy Tuna Fish sandwich on ri with mayo what was that!?” One of the guards ask.

“I have no Idea what that was but I think we should just go into the Palace now and act like we didn’t see anything.”

“Good Idea Bob.”

“Thanks George.” They go to head inside and then they hear moaning and groaning then someone talking.

“Oh my ache in noggin” then they see what appears to be a bush head because Code had a shrub on his head they both scream and run into the palace. ”What is there deal?” Code shrugs and shakes of the shrub, “Ta much better.” Code says and puts his hat on and flies up to Legolas’s window and he was doing Dance Dance Revolution.

He was dancing to “Genuine IN a Bottle” and doing a very good job at it. He even got his hands and hips into it.

“Wow what are you doing?” Code wonders.

“OH MY GOLLY GUM DROPS!!!” Legolas says still dancing and hitting the arrows. “You startled me!” He calls over the music.

“Yes but what are you doing?” Code says looking at the ps2 and the TV and the dance pad.

“OH this its called Dance Dance Revolution, and you just fallow these arrows and you can do a really sweet dance not to mention all the calories you’ll burn on this thing.” He lands in a really awesome dance pose and it ends and the TV blares out that he got a Perfect again. Then tells him he burned 500 calories in 3 hours. “You know I have burnt 5,000 calories in one week on this thing.” He says and gets himself a drink of water but he wasn’t winded or anything.

“What in hells bells is a calorie?” Code wondered leaning against the stone wall in Legolas’s room.

“Oh that’s something that slows you down and makes you fat.” Legolas says coming over and patting Code on the arm.

“Well I won’t have to worry about that and that looks really easy.” He says uncrossing his arm but in some odd way he thought it looked cool.

“Well want to try it?” Legolas wonders with a smile and Code didn’t know at first then nods and Legolas puts on “Genuine in a bottle” again and Code was shaky at first then he got the hang of it.

Then both where dancing together to the song and they did a really good job infact they did so well that Legolas and Code danced on the Dance Dance pad in front of Legolas’s party guests.

“I see why you wanted me to come now.” Code says after they got done with the 10th song.

“That and your just really awesome to hang out with. Lets sit down I am hungry the smell of barbequed hot dogs is really getting to me.” Legolas said patting his belly.

So they eat and it was boring well Legolas thought so Code drank himself some whisky and some blood from his vials.
“I Do say what are you drinking?” Ask a snobbish elf with hair up on his head he had it in a bun now that is freaky!

“Oh I am drinking elves blood would you like a taste or maybe not, looks to me like you have no taste.” He says and pushes his chair back and the elf lands on his back with his feet in the air.

“I have never been so insulted.” He titters out of the room with butt and head in the air.

“Who was that?” Code wonders looking at Legolas who had sauce on his face.

“Oh that was Aunt Simon.” He answers and eats another hot dog.

“That was a woman no way I am sorry that’s your aunt.” Code says shaking his head.

“Yes we tried to tell her that she shouldn’t pull her hair back she didn’t listen and no one likes it. Its very hideous she can’t take a hint so its her problem.” He goes on and drinks some of his wine.

“Yes but she is ugly and I have never seen an ugly elf before.” Code whispers to Legolas.

“Well her mother was an orc and her father was an elf.” Legolas whispers back.

“That’s very gross.” Code says and leans back.

“Your telling me she is my aunt how do you think I feel she always growls and chews with her mouth open. She picks her nose at the table and she has hair in her ears. But we can’t be to hard on her she is very kind. Well maybe not. Ramble Ramble Ramble Ramble bal bal bal bal bal bal.
That’s what Code heard from Legolas after awhile.

Well again we are taking a brake Merry and I are going to can-coon we have cams there but that will before another day because its tiring always watching Code so we will be back with more when we have more candid moments on Code The Vampire.

Code comes back home and falls up the steps this time, which I don’t know how he managed it but he did, and he fell into his coffin and the door shut.
Yup well at lest I am safe in here Ace comes in with him and that’s that for now but we have a night cam on the coffin so we can always get live updates all the time.


The end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry got a little exclamation mark happy


This story is True facts based on the life of Code Vamp
…Written by Peregrin Took and Merry Brandybuck…

Code: Actually it’s all a bunch of BS but hey why not let the little pip squeak have his fun he was off of my case for awhile or was he?????
That’s how code lived Happy!