Valinor Awaits

The ship bobbed gently at the quay awaiting the last of its passengers before departing for the Undying Lands. An air of sadness mixed with weariness and relief hung over the decaying buildings and gardens remaining of the once proud and bustling elven city. Throughout the millennia the port of the Havens had seen hundreds of elves pass through its streets and now the last few remaining were leaving Middle Earth for the peace and safety of Valinor.

Cirden stood at the window of his office and watched as the last of the cargo was loaded. All was nearly ready except for the passengers who had yet to assemble for boarding. They were still awaiting the arrival of the other ring bearers, Gandalf and the two hobbits, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins.

Higher up on the terrace of one of the houses still used as temporary quarters for the departing passengers Elrond stared vacantly out towards the sea. The once familiar sights of his childhood seemed strange and alien to him now. The long centuries of the battles for the safety of Middle Earth and the defeat of Sauron had left him exhausted. He remained deeply torn between his desire to stay and the need to go in answer to the sea longing that drew all of the elves at one time or another. The one bright spark that lit his darkness of spirit was the knowledge that his sweet silver lady, his beloved Celebrian was waiting for him on the other side in Valinor. He longed for her with an aching so great and a need that had left an open wound that had not healed for millennia, always persistent, always painful, and always surfeit.

Their hin were remaining behind. Their daughter would never make the voyage. Now married to the new Dunedain king of Gondor, the foster son he had raised as his own, Arwen had chosen the mortal life as had Elrond’s own brother all those millennia ago. In time she too would die, as had he. His ionnath intended to wait until their sister had passed beyond the circles of this world before making their own decision to stay or go. Just knowing he may never see them again added to the grief he carried. He dreaded telling Celebrian that their hin had made choices that may have sundered them from their parents for all time.

Elrond had lost so much over the years, family, friends, and colleagues. He was leaving behind Imladris his beloved home of over four thousand years where so many had found refuge from the ravages of Sauron. There he had brought his wife and raised his children amidst its serene buildings and gardens. Now it, too, would in time become deserted and decayed as had the other great elven enclaves. He shut his eyes and found himself wondering if even in Valinor he would find peace at last. Would he find the perfection of life it promised?

******

Nearby Galadriel gazed blindly out of the window of the house she had been directed to upon her arrival at the Havens. She had not noted its comfortable but faded furnishings, nor the concerned eyes of its keepers as she refused food and retreated silently to her chamber. The cry of the gulls echoed across the bay and she looked down with numb eyes at the ship that would carry her back to Valinor.

She was finally returning but she was going alone. Celeborn was not accompanyin g her and she had no assurance that he would ever make the trip to join her. His love of his Golden Woods as well as his desire to remain behind until their daer ionnath made their decision left a huge gaping hole in her faer. Now that the one ring was no more, the three elven rings had lost their power and she no longer could use Nenya as a shield for her people or for her beloved Silver Tree. She truly was diminished now and would go into the west where she had longed to return to for so long; but at what cost?

Turning as an elleth entered the outer chamber carrying a tall ewer of hot water and some fluffy towels she frowned at the interruption then returned to her thoughts and for one short moment reached out in search of Celeborn.

*Beloved? *

*Aye, bein pen nin, * came his swift response. *I did not expect to hear from you again after our painful parting. *

*I could not leave with this anguish between us. I know I cannot change your mind, but I will miss you beyond bearing. Will you forgive my ranting? *

He was silent for a long time before once more his deep voice echoed gently through her mind.

*I have never doubted your feelings for me all our years together. You have been my other half, my guide and my touchstone. I shall be as only a half now that we are parting. Do not doubt my feelings for you. *

*Yet you will not even give me the comfort of a promise …*

*Galadriel! * He warned tersely fearing further arguments. *I cannot promise what may not be possible. *

*I am sorry, beloved. It tears at me. It is just so hard, to stay or go. I beg you forgive me *

*It goes without asking. Now that you have been given permission to return, you know you must. It is all you have ever wished for all these years. *

*Suddenly it does not seem so important! *

She sensed his wry smile and found herself smiling through the tears that now coursed down her cheeks.

*I do so love you Celeborn. *

* I love you, too, beloved. Fair winds and safe voyage, malthen bereth nin. Give our daughter my love. She will have need of your strength when she finds out about the daer hin. I fear Elrond is in no condition to face her alone*

*I will. Namarie, melethron nin. *

*Namarie melethril nin. *

The silence once more surrounded her and she collapsed onto a nearby divan weeping bitterly both for what she was leaving behind and what she would find in Valinor.

*****

Celeborn sat his horse on the road some distance from the Havens and lowered his head in sadness. Their goodbyes had been the most difficult thing he had ever faced. Through their bond he felt her grief and it tore at him. He did not know if he would ever see her again. He could only hope that once Arwen and Aragorn had gone beyond the circles of the world, the twins would make the decision to sail for the Undying Lands and he would be able to join them. If they chose to stay, he would have to as well. He could not leave them here without some family.

And then there were the rest of his people. Even though many had joined Legolas in Ithilien there still remained a number in the Golden Woods. Until they made their decision to sail or remain he was still responsible for their well-being. Sighing, he signaled his mount and headed back towards Caras Galadon.

*****

Elladan looked up from the book he was reading and watched his brother cross to the window and stand gazing out at the garden below.

“’Roh?”

Elrohir turned and smiled sadly at his brother. “I am all right ‘Dan. It is just a bit depressing to know ada is somewhere on the sea and it will be years if ever before we will see him or naneth again.”

“We still have daer ada…”

“Until he can not stand to be parted from daer naneth any longer.”

“He has the remaining elves in Lothlorien to be concerned with. Until they have made their final decisions he feels obligated to remain and watch over them.”

A long silence spread between them.

“Did we make a mistake in not declaring our own before ada left, ‘Dan?”
“Perhaps, but what good would it have done? We have our own elves here in Imladris to watch as well. We do not know what the future holds for any of us and it may change. We are remaining until Arwen and Estel pass beyond the circles of the world. Their hin may have need of us. How could we leave them without family to help?” He shrugged and sat down across from ‘Dan.

“Well all we can do is take one thing at a time and hope we have made the right decision.”

Elladan reached out and grasped the hand of his gwanur. Elrohir clasped it firmly. What did the future hold for all of them? As long as they had each other they would never be alone.

Hin-children
Ionnath-sons
Faer-soul/spirit
Bein pen nin-my beautiful one
Malthen bereth nin-my golden queen
Daer hin-grand children
Namarie –fair well
Melethron nin –my lover (m)
Memethril nin-my lover (f)
Ada-father
Naneth-mother