Bed of Wild Roses

"And so, with the death of Mirabelle, the last of the fairies, the time of magic had come to an end. The trees and the flowers and all living things lost their sparkle and the song of the birds lost its sweetness. And yet things continued to go on. All knowledge of the fairies and their deeds passed into history and only few remembered it. History became legend, legend became myth and things that should not have been forgotten were lost. Little did mankind now that they would have needed the assistance of the little folk in times to come."


He sighed and threw the pencil against the nearest wall in frustration. The chapter he had just written was bad. It did not sound right at all. Sean quickly scanned his paragraphs again and groaned loudly. It was worse than all the other things he had written, or tried to write in the last few years. Ever since it had happened.
Three years and it still hurt. Hurt so much that he was unable to voice it even in his thoughts. Abigail's death had torn a hole into his existence. A deep, dark abyss that threatened to tear him apart. More than once he had thought about giving up and putting an end to all this but there was something that always held him back.

"No," he corrected himself loudly, "Not something. Someone." The only one in his life who could still bring a smile to his lips. The only one who managed to draw him out of the depression he sometimes sunk into. Evie.

He shook his head, trying to clear it and then glared at his typewriter and his notebook once more. He needed to stop that train of thinking. Viggo, his agent, used every opportunity to tell him that the things he had written lately were becoming more and more depressive and that if he continued that way his books could not be sold as children's book any longer. He could almost hear the blond's tirade in his mind.

"Just look at the crap you have written, Sean! How in devil's name am I supposed to sell these as children's books? They all die in the end! Oh yes, I know the evil dragon is defeated but why do you always finish all the fairies off, too? Jeez Sean, these books could almost qualify as horror stories!"

Sean got up and paced angrily through the room, raking his hands through his shoulder-long hair. "Fuck you, Vig," he muttered darkly, "I need to write this crap. It's the only thing I am capable of writing. I need to write this off my soul! So I'm not making any money with the things I'm writing at the moment, but so what?"

"Dad?"

He turned and smiled as he saw the little strawberry-blond mop of hair peeking through the doorway.
"Evie," he tried to put on a stern glare. "Shouldn't you be in bed by now?"

"I can't sleep," Evie mumbled, clutching her teddy tightly to he chest as she scurried inside, "Could you read me a story?"

He knew that it was already late, that she had pre-school tomorrow and that he should say no but he could not do that.
"Aw fuck," he muttered to himself, glaring at the shelves with the many brightly-coloured children's books.

"Daddy?" Evie quipped again, sticking a thumb into her mouth, "Are you going to read me a story now?"

"Yes darling, I am." He blindly grabbed on of the books and scooped Evie up, pressing a kiss onto the tip of her nose, "But we'll get you to bed, too."

Evie did not respond and snuggled closer to her father, burying her head in his shoulder and sniffling into her teddy bear. "I miss Mommy," she mumbled barely audible as Sean carried her up the stairs. Sean's heart contracted painfully as he heard his daughter's longing admission.

"I know, love," he tried to smile, "I miss her too."

They had reached the top of the stairs and he turned left, opening the door to Evie's room and stepping into a colourful world of fairy tales. The room was painted in a hued shade of pale violet and all cushions and pillows were of a pale pink that matched the violet perfectly. There were fairies everywhere. On the posters that hung on the walls, on the bed-covers, on the backs and fronts of the books that were strewn over the floor and even the paper figurines that hung from the lamp in the middle of the room showed little flowers and fairies.
Sean put Evie down on the bed and gently tucker her in before settling down on the edge of the bed, that was way too big for a child.

"Today it's the story of Sleeping Beauty and the Three Fairies," he announced cheerfully, marvelling at the way his daughter's eyes lit up at the mentioning of fairies.


"Once upon a time there lived a king and a queen," Sean started, capturing Evie's gaze with his own, "And they had been wishing and hoping for a child for a very long time, when finally the queen gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Overjoyed the king and the queen decided to have a great feast and sent invitations to everybody in the kingdom. To everyone, except for the dark, evil fairy..."


Sean continued to read, his voice warm and steady, till Evie had finally fallen asleep. He smiled softly, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her left ear. "I love you," he whispered, unaware that he was being watched and had been for quite some time now. A pair of brown eyes on the other side of the window followed his every move. With a last glance at his sleeping daughter Sean got up and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.


~***~


The visitor in front of the window sighed and flew into the room, softly landing on the pillow. He was close enough to touch the child if he wanted to. The child had fascinated him from the moment he had first seen her. He tensed as the floor on the other side of the room creaked. A chair squeaked downstairs and he sighed with relief, happy to remain unseen once more.

He turned, his breath catching in his throat. Evie was wide awake again and staring directly at him.
"Oh no," he groaned, "Essaiel forgive me. This shouldn't have happened."
Shaking he met the girl's inquisitive stare.


~***~


Sean smiled sadly as he watched his daughter skip down the road. Evie had always been a dreamy and quiet child but ever since Abigail's death she had withdrawn even deeper into herself. He just did not know what else he could do to make her smile again. She had barely laughed since she had lost her mother but today she had been in an exceptionally flamboyant mood. Evie had babbled so much that she had almost forgotten to eat her breakfast and had hardly managed to sit still.

He had tried to coax her into telling him what had excited her so much but she had stoically refused to say anything. Nevertheless, something had happened, he was sure of it. She had even told him that things would be allright again.

"You cannot mourn forever, Daddy," she had said and in that moment she had looked so much older than she was, Her earnest eyes had seemed like those of a world-weary, ancient woman in her seven-year-old face as she continued. "Don't worry. Love will come to you. You will learn to love again."

Sean had stared at her, mouth agape and a half-eaten piece of bread in his hand. Only seconds later the wise woman in front of him had been replaced by a giggling child. He had continued staring, till finally a loud guffaw had risen from deep within his throat, that had been replaced by heart-felt laughter soon after. She had looked so small, so sure of what she said.

"How can you know?" he had asked and at her answer had been seriously challenged not to laugh out loud again.

"Because a fairy told me," she had informed him gravely, "And what fairies say always comes true."

He sighed as the doorbell rang. There was only one person who would be crazy enough to disturb him at this time of the night. A glance at the old Gingerbread clock confirmed his suspicions. It was only 7.40 a.m.

"Damn you," he muttered, not bothering to go to the door. His visitor knew that he rarely bothered to lock it nowadays. Grabbing a mug of tea he stalked into the living room. The sofa squeaked for mercy as he more or less sat down. Sean heard the front door open and smiled bitterly. He knew what he would get to hear next. After all they had already had this conversation often enough,

"You left your door unlocked. Again." A disapproving voice said.

"Bugger off, Vig," Sean growled at his friend and agent, "You know that open doors keep burglars away. They scare them."

"Yeah, sure." Viggo's voice was laced with sarcasm, "As if."

"Stop buggering me and tell me why you've come." Sean growled, unable to hide his annoyance any longer. He just wanted to be left alone, nothing more. Viggo however, seemed more than determined to ignore this.

"This is why I've come.," Viggo said, his face as dark as a thunderstorm as he threw Sean's latest manuscript onto the table. "God damn it Sean!" He angrily paced back and forth through the living room, cautious not to step on any of the piles and heaps of fairy tales and other children's books which lay on the floor. "You kill all your main characters in the end, Sean."

"Yes" Sean replied calmly, taking a long swig from the tea and burning his tongue in the process, "It felt right to kill her. She had done what had to be done. There just wasn't any sense in letting her go on living."

"No sense? In letting her go on living? No sense?" Viggo stared incredulously at his friend, "For God's sake Sean," he almost screamed, "It's a children's book! A fairy tale! People don't just die in such books because there's no more use for them! They get the prince and live happily ever after! The just do not die! Your books are becoming more and moe depressive Sean. I don't know what to do with you anymore! When was the last time you wrote a happy end, Sean? With a real happy ever after? When Sean? All you do is sit around in your house all day, trying to write something you're never going to finish anyway! You only come out to bring Evie to school! What sort of life s that?"

Viggo was towering over his friend, one hand placed on each side of him, "Sean? Hey, Sean! Are you listening to me at all?"

"Sorry," Sean mumbled, "I must have... zoned out for a second or two, you know...."

"No, as a matter of fact I don't." Viggo sat down next to Sean, ignoring the the dark green cushion with the embroidered fairy that was crushed beneath him.

"I know you," Viggo said slowly, cautious to maintain eye-contact, "And you're acting worse than ever. Up tp now you were merely sad and depressed but now..." he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, "Did something else happen? Is ther anything I can do to help?"

"Help?" Sean was trembling with anger now "How could you possibly help me? You have no idea what it's like! I lost the most important person in my life, the only one who could truly understand me, and you want to help?" Suddenly all the anger seemed gone. "You could help by leaving me alone."

"Sean," was all Viggo said, the hurt evident in his face as he clenched his fists.

"Don't you Sean me," Sean yelled, "I tried my best to act normal, to give my daughter a loving home after her mother died and this morning she told me that everything will be allright again one day and that love will come to me and that I'll learn to love again! Jeez Vig, what's wrong with the world? How can she say such a thing? And only three years after... after Aibigail..."

"I don't know," Viggo whispered, taking hold of Sean's shaking hands, "She may not have meant it that way. But she is right. Life goes on. And you've been hiding from it far too long. When was the last time you went out into time when you didn't have to buy something?
You've holed yourself up in here, alone with your pain and loss, convinced that no one can understand you. You sit in here all day, writing more and more depressive stories, never letting go. You've got to live with what happened. For Evie's sake if not for your own." Viggo became quiet again, exhaustion evident in every tired gesture. "I don't know what else to tell you, Sean. And I've told you so often."

Sean was staring at the floor again, still trembling violently. "Please go," he whispered.

"But..."

"No buts and rebuttals, Vig. Just go. I need some time alone. Some time to think."

Slowly Viggo got up. In the door way he turned around once more. "I you ever want to talk you know where I am." he said quietly and then, finally, went away, leaving Sean alone.


~***~


He sighed as he watched the green-eyed agent leave. The man had made Evie's father sad and he hated him for that. He jumped down from the daffodil he had been sitting on, expanding his wings and flapping into the direction of the open kichen window. He had to look after Sean. From what Evie had told him the evening before he was convinced that Sean needed someone to take care of him. To make sure that he ate regularly and started writing something useful again. Something children liked.

Quietly he slipped into the house and once more started to keep watch over Sean. He had promised Evie after all.