The Tellings By Pippin And Merry

Pippin/Merry’s The Telling

Pippin: Hello everyone! Waves and walks on to the stage where a big chair sits.

Merry: comes out from other side. Greetings hobbit lads and lasses!

Pippin: Tonight we bring you the lovely Story of The.

Merry: Lord.

Pippin: Of.

Merry: The.

Pippin: “Rings.” Gets up in chair with a huge bucket full of yummy mushrooms and gets cozy and Merry sits next to him with another large bucket and have two huge ales with straws, pipe weed and any other food they may need before this is all over with. “You know Merry they should have had this story about the one Mushroom then I think it would have been harder for Dear Frodo to get rid of it.

Merry: Then again he didn’t want to get rid of the ring the only way he got rid of it was by Gollum chomping off his finger. Takes a hand full of mushrooms and shoves them his mouth and happily eats them.

Pippin: Well perhaps we should tell them how it really happened Tolkien kept out a few things and we are here now to fill in the blanks if you will. I am your Narrator!

Merry: I am his assistant Narrator waves

Pippin: That you are My Good Hobbit, Now let us begin when the world was still dark very dark so dark that they needed a flash light to see there way to Mount Doom they being the elves and men of course and they couldn’t see the Orcs whom were coming down the sloop on scooters. The Elves and Men were bouncing on pogo sticks and they had hard helmets on with the flash lights so they could see.

Pippin: CUT my eyes are really hurtting from this pink less pink or hot pink more easy on the eyes.

Merry: I do agree with you!

Much Better

(color changes to blue)

Merry: Pogo Sticks are you sure it wasn’t stilts?

Pippin: Oh thank you Merry yes I am sorry stilts they were on stilts and they didn’t see the Orcs coming tell they ran right into them! Since the elves had light Sabers they sliced off there heads in no time! Being higher and quicker the orcs were soon losing dreadfully because all they had were sticks made of wood with little pointy things on the end and they would jump around.

Merry: Wait light Sabers Pippin now, now that’s in Star wars lets focus on Lord Of The Rings ok.” Pats Pippin on the head.

Pippin: Ok fine they used rifles and killed most the orcs real fast. Then in came Saroun who was dressed up kind of like Shedder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, He had a mace that was electrical and he swung it at the Stilts of the Elves oh yeah man were there too you know humans they all fell down with a cry. Then The King of Humans went to shot at Saroun but his trigger got stuck and he was soon whacked into a rock smashing his head like jelly thus the king passed away. Stars to sniffle how come the good guys always have to die I don’t like it! He didn’t really die he just acted like it, “There I like the sound of that much better” So His son didn’t know his father was acting and just as Saroun was going to tare of Isildor’s Face He tossed a Ninja star that was really sharp at Saroun’s reaching hand and cut it off.

Saroun: Ouchie Owie, Owie OWWWW, That wasn’t nice of you bad Human! he says shaking his fist at Islidor then turning into a big Pile of salt. His Sprit was blown away by a warm friendly breeze. He had lost his pretty Ring which the rings name Is Ted yes Ted and it had an inscription on it and it read.

I am Ted The One Ring I Rule Them all, Non Can un make me, Not even when my Lord falls. I will trick you all tell I get my right full finger. Now Islidor Take this Ban! Then I shall come back to my Master in Mordor mwahahaahhahahahahahahahahaha.

Islidor: saw the ring “Oh Pretty” He thought and picked it up and put it on a silver chain and put it around his neck and looked at Elrond. ”Lookie what I found it’s the one ring isn’t lovely?”

Elrond: You Imp that’s evil toss it into the fire!

Islidor: Heck no its pretty and its mine now and your just jealous so back off long haired Elf!” He says and lumbers away and gets on his horse named Lickerish! They ride off together and his army fallows him but the Ring didn’t want to stay with Islidor so he called or paged some orcs and they came out of the trees and did a surprise attack Islidor puts on the ring and turns invisible and leaps into the water but it slips off his fingers and he gets pin cushioned by lots of Orc Arrows. He didn’t die he was only acting and it was just raspberry jam on his back.

So The Ring went to the bottom of the pond or I mean river and was berried by lots of mud and stuff and Saroun became an eye and feet and a mouth and some hands and ears he was scattered all over Mordor now but his eye was set up on a very large Golf Tee. The other was put into a shiny bowling Ball. Anyways the ring was forgotten for along long time because Saroun’s brain was like mush. Anyways this one guy found it and then another guy which was his cousin or brother or Lover or something wanted it so he throttled him and took it then everyone hated him and he went deep into the tunnels of the misty mountains then he dropped it and then BILBO found it in the dark because he did and then 60 years later Frodo is in the Picture!

Pippin: WOO That was a lot of talking with out many breaths sweet!

Anyways tell me what you think about this if you like I'll put more up if not I may put up more anyways hehe