Hair No More

Date:6/18/07
Author: Katty_Storm
Title: Hair no More
Subject: AU Lord of the Rings
Pairings: Hints at Pipin and Legolas
Warning: mild cussing

Hair No More by Katty_Storm

Legolas gave a long suffering sigh as he scratched his head for, what seemed like the hundredth time that day. “I swear to the lights that I will never get my hair clean from those disgusting mines.”

Gimli growled jumped to his feet; “Those mines are as clean as any elfin hovel, Elf!”

Legolas hands fisted, “You should watch your tongue, Dwarf, or I shall watch it for you!”

Aragorn became angry at the argument, when he glanced over at their Hobbit companions, and they looked a little fearful as they huddled together. “Legolas calm yourself. We can not afford to fight amongst ourselves or the fellowship will fail.”

He looked almost penitent for his action he sat down upon his bedroll completely ignoring Gimli. “You are right my friend I blame it on the sorrow of losing one of our party.” Legolas began itching his head once more and this time as he itched a bug fell onto his hand. It was a bug he had never seen before and it gave him the creeps just looking at it. He shuddered and smashed the bug between two fingers. “I must go to the river.” Legolas jumped to his feet before any could stop him, and silently walked off in the direction of the river.

Legolas scrubbed his flexion hair hoping to dislodge any other bugs that may have taken up residents in his shining hair. As he washed his hair his keen eyes picked up the sight of a few more bugs that had taken up residents in his hair. Legolas jerked his head up as foot steps approached his eyes met the sorrowful ones of the would be king.

“Legolas you left so suddenly, is every thing all right?”

Legolas ignored his wet hair dampening his tunic. “I am fine. I found a strange bug in my hair and had to wash.”

Aragorn’s brow furrowed “A bug Legolas? Let me look.” Aragorn had heard of bugs that took up residents in ones hair they fed on blood.


Legolas stiffened “It is all right. I washed it, I am sure I picked it up from the filthy mines.”

Aragorn took a step foreword “Please my friend, let me double check for you.”

Legolas eyes snapped blue fire, he had said he was fine was Aragorn not telling him something?

Aragorn laid a hand on hiss slim shoulder, and felt his muscles bunch. Legolas stiffened at his touch. Aragon didn’t seem to back down and Legolas gave a weary sigh; ‘What harm would it do?’ his head did still scratch. “All right if you insist.” Aragorn smiled at his elfin friend and nodded. Legolas allowed Aragon to lead him to a peace of ground to sit down on. Aragon’s calloused fingers started to move through Legolas’ soft hair. As Aragorn looked at Legolas’ hair what he saw gave him pause.

Legolas stiffened he felt Aragorn pause and he was far too quiet. “What is it ranger?” He snapped usually he would never use the title for his friend, but he was felling rather annoyed at the moment.

“I am afraid Legolas, it was more then a simple bug. I have heard of these bugs that take up residents in one’s hair and suck their blood.” Legolas’ heart skipped a beat did that mean he had that bug bloody hell he hoped not. “I am afraid you may have picked up that bug from someone.” Legolas body shuddered he reached a trembling hand up to touch a silken strand of his hair.

“How do I get rid of this disgusting bug?” Legolas was surprised his voice came out stronger then what he felt.

“There is but one way to get rid of that. We must shave him you know it Aragorn.”Came the familiar voice of Gimli.

Legolas jumped to his feet; “None shall shave my head you oaf of a dwarf.”

Gimli raised his ax his eyes snapping like fire “All I am is trying to do is to help.” Legolas looked to Aragorn who had said nothing during their exchange of words his eyes questioning.

“He is right Legolas, I know of no way to get rid of the bug, but to get rid of the item that they are living in.” Legolas drew an elfin dagger.

“Do you fear your little lover Pippin will loose his interest with you, when you have no hair?” Legolas eyes became blue slits he stalked foreword his dagger aimed at Gimli’s chest.

“Dwarf if my hair must be shaved so must your beard if I have this bug so must you! In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if ye were the one to give it to me.”

Aragorn feared there would be blood shed if he didn’t step between the two. Aragorn stepped in front of Legolas. “Fighting will do no good yet I am afraid Legolas may be right we need to check all but try not to frighten any.”

Gimli relaxed and nodded setting his ax down “Aye, ye speak the truth.”

Legolas still held out his dagger; “I think he should be first, since he is here.”

Aragorn used a hand to push down Legolas’ arm giving him a meaningful look. “He shall be checked as shall the others.” Aragorn then turned his gaze back to Gimli; “I shall check you and you then in return can check me.”

Aragorn didn’t have to look long to see that Gimli, like Legolas was lousy with them. “I am sorry my dwarven friend, but your beard and hair will have to go.” Gimli growled glaring at Legolas as if it was his fault. Aragorn shook his head and then moved so Gimli could look his hair over. Gimli took a long while in his search but soon claimed Aragorn to be clean. Legolas smirked he was glad Gimli had it and also relieved that Aragorn did not.

Aragorn commanded that they both stay where they where at while he went to the others, and tell them of their little problem.

Legolas and Gimli where both silent until he was out of site. “This is your fault dwarf!”

Legolas hissed at the same time Gimli accused Legolas,“Tis your doing Elf!”

Legolas crossed his arms over his chest. “An elf cannot be the cause, they are clean creatures unlike a dwarf.” Gimli looked about ready to spat out something else, when their attention was drawn to someone clearing their throat.

They both turned in unison to look at Aragorn. “None of the others have it I am pleased to say.” Gimli grunted in response Legolas didn’t react at all. “You both will need to change into these clean clothing once you are done being shaved.” Gimli looked over at Legolas, and a devilish smile spread across his face. “I shall help shave the elf if I can borrow your sword.”

With quick movements Legolas sprang into the nearest tree so he was out of reach of the dwarf. “None shall defile my hair but me.” Legolas spat out with venom. Legolas grabbed a clump of his hair and with his elfin dagger cut into it. His face was an expressionless mask, but on the inside he was a raging storm.

Aragorn watched as chunks of Legolas hair fell to the ground. He would respect his wishes and let him care for the problem on his own. Aragorn was proud of the brave face Legolas put on not once letting his pain show.

Even as Legolas reached the back of his head he asked for no help, he just sliced into the hair with a vengeance.

Even with his hair at odd lengths Legolas managed to pull off a look of royalty Aragon thought. As all this happened Gimli stayed silent which Aragorn was glad for, biting hurtful words where not what was needed at this time.

Legolas began the tedious process of scraping the last of his hair from his scalp with out cutting into it. His bottom lip started to tremble causing him to bite down on it to try to stop it. “Do you not have something else to do other then watch me?” Legolas only had a small dip in his voice to give away how close he really was to braking down.

Gimli seemed to understand what Legolas needed of them and turned his back on the elf, and started braiding his beard. Aragorn had turned with him and gave Gimli a questioning look. “It will make it easer to get rid of.” Aragorn rose an eyebrow and gave a small nod that he understood.

Legolas shed a tear for the loss of his hair as the last locks where shaved off. He angrily brushed a hand over it this would be the only one he would allow himself to shed it was only hair after all. Legolas only stood a moment longer in the tree before silently slipping down and joining his companions.

Aragorn felt Legolas presence even before he spoke. “The deed is done what of the dwarf?” Unlike Aragon Gimli did not turn to look at the Elf. “Its getting done Elf” Gimli said gruffly. Legolas almost looked comical the way he continued to try and look regal even with all his hair gone, and his ears seeming to stick out more then ever. Aragorn had to cover a laugh that threatened to escape with a cough.

Gimli nudged Aragorn in the ribs “I will have to rely on you Aragorn for I have no instrument small enough to do the task.” Aragorn was glad for this distraction for it would be folly to laugh at the Elf. Aragon drew his sword and brought it up to Gimli’s beard. “Ready my friend?” Gimli closed his eyes “aye.”

Gimli only opened his eyes after felling a significant loss of weight to his face. At his feet laid his most prized possession. “At least I no longer have to worry about someone pulling on my beard.” Gimli’s way was to crack jokes to hide his sorrow. “Well Aragorn ye best make work of the hair as well before some bird mistakes me for a scarecrow.” Legolas gave an undignified snort of laughter. The sound of Legolas laugh strangely made Gimli look happier and more at ease.

As Aragorn started to shave off Gimli’s hair he took note that Gimli was beginning to look more like a man then a dwarf a short man but a man none the less. When the task was completed Gimli finally turned to face Legolas. “It is done so let us now slip into our clean clothes.”

Legolas reached for the clean tunic Aragorn had brought, and surprisingly grabbed Gimli’s clean clothes as well holding them out to him. “Come friend let us change and as we do so plan what to do to the others should they laugh at us.” Gimli let out a bark of laughter “Aye friend perhaps you should threaten Pippin with a whipping instead of a roll in the hay.”

Aragorn began to walk back to camp silently laughing as he went. He would enjoy seeing what punishments the two came up with. He didn’t have to worry about them killing anyone for even though they didn’t like to admit it they cared for every member of the fellowship. To him it was amazing how a simple bug could bring two creatures together.

“Augh!” Aragorn cried as he was pounced upon from above by Legolas, and griped from behind by Gimli. “And you our future king shall be our first victim Legolas said griping his knees tighter around his neck. “Aye the first now which do you prefer being shaved balled or having your hair be put into two braids with bows and having everyone call you princess?”

And thus Ends the story of hair loss and friends gained.