The Elven Huntress
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,362
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,362
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Elven Huntress
Author's Notes:
The Elvin Huntress
-or-
(known among the elves as: That Annoying Minstrel’s Song)
Disclaimer/Author's Notes: I own nothing but the Original Characters and their adventures. Everything else belongs to JRR Tolkien, the Tolkien Estate, New Line Cinema/Peter Jackson, et. al. This was done purely for entertainment. I reap no monetary benefits from this and have nothing worth suing me for. Warning: My beta says not to drink or eat anything while reading this because of humor content.
Gimli, Legolas and the four hobbits are listening to the minstrel Conor sing while Dierdre, an old friend of Legolas's, is doing a running commentary on the song. The people in the bar are finding this very amusing and laughing loudly. Conor however is becoming more and more annoyed at the interuptions, as all can tell by the tone of his voice.
Conor: The lovely elvish warrior came stealthily that night,
Her eyes burned bright with fire. She was looking for a fight-
Deirdre: An old friend, Legolas, was at the bar to sup.
I was tired and hungry and said I'd treat him to a cup.
So there I sat visiting with an old childhood friend,
when the whole thing started and brought the visit to an end.
Conor: The cad came with a swagger, as his ale he did hurl
and doubled up his fist to strike the serving girl-
Deirdre: The mortal bumped our table and made us spill our drinks.
He staggered so that the serving wench did not know what to think.
He smacked the table with his fist then yelled, "I want a fork".
The brothel girl he leaned on said," I'd rather kiss an orc".
Conor : The trembling servant girl dropped her pitcher in such fear-
Deirdre: Nonsense. The man was just so drunk he couldn't hold his beer.
Conor: The warrior straight up she got and entered in the fray-
Deirdre: I only asked the girl if I could help in any way.
Conor: The warrior, blade in hand, soon had him hopping like a frog-
Deirdre: He lunged, I dodged, he stumbled, then he stepped upon the
dog.
Conor: Then growling an enchanted beast did start to moan and wail-
Deirdre: Oh I am sure that you'd howl too if that oaf had stepped on
your tail!
Conor: The mighty elven lady left the evil cad quite dead-
Dierdre: It was an accident, he hit the hearth bricks with his head.
Conor: The mighty elven warrior then retreated from the inn-
Dierdre: I asked the brothel owner to help me find his next of kin.
Conor: She sought and found his widow to give to her his purse-
Dierdre: His wife said while he lived that he had been a drunken curse
and she had taken him for better because he couldn't get much worse.
Conor: When next the elven warrior doth ride the road from Bree
to visit mighty Gondor, may I be there to see-
Dierdre: Will someone shut that minstrel up? Gimli come, have a chair.
Not a word of it is true and I should know, for I was there.
The Elvin Huntress
-or-
(known among the elves as: That Annoying Minstrel’s Song)
Disclaimer/Author's Notes: I own nothing but the Original Characters and their adventures. Everything else belongs to JRR Tolkien, the Tolkien Estate, New Line Cinema/Peter Jackson, et. al. This was done purely for entertainment. I reap no monetary benefits from this and have nothing worth suing me for. Warning: My beta says not to drink or eat anything while reading this because of humor content.
Gimli, Legolas and the four hobbits are listening to the minstrel Conor sing while Dierdre, an old friend of Legolas's, is doing a running commentary on the song. The people in the bar are finding this very amusing and laughing loudly. Conor however is becoming more and more annoyed at the interuptions, as all can tell by the tone of his voice.
Conor: The lovely elvish warrior came stealthily that night,
Her eyes burned bright with fire. She was looking for a fight-
Deirdre: An old friend, Legolas, was at the bar to sup.
I was tired and hungry and said I'd treat him to a cup.
So there I sat visiting with an old childhood friend,
when the whole thing started and brought the visit to an end.
Conor: The cad came with a swagger, as his ale he did hurl
and doubled up his fist to strike the serving girl-
Deirdre: The mortal bumped our table and made us spill our drinks.
He staggered so that the serving wench did not know what to think.
He smacked the table with his fist then yelled, "I want a fork".
The brothel girl he leaned on said," I'd rather kiss an orc".
Conor : The trembling servant girl dropped her pitcher in such fear-
Deirdre: Nonsense. The man was just so drunk he couldn't hold his beer.
Conor: The warrior straight up she got and entered in the fray-
Deirdre: I only asked the girl if I could help in any way.
Conor: The warrior, blade in hand, soon had him hopping like a frog-
Deirdre: He lunged, I dodged, he stumbled, then he stepped upon the
dog.
Conor: Then growling an enchanted beast did start to moan and wail-
Deirdre: Oh I am sure that you'd howl too if that oaf had stepped on
your tail!
Conor: The mighty elven lady left the evil cad quite dead-
Dierdre: It was an accident, he hit the hearth bricks with his head.
Conor: The mighty elven warrior then retreated from the inn-
Dierdre: I asked the brothel owner to help me find his next of kin.
Conor: She sought and found his widow to give to her his purse-
Dierdre: His wife said while he lived that he had been a drunken curse
and she had taken him for better because he couldn't get much worse.
Conor: When next the elven warrior doth ride the road from Bree
to visit mighty Gondor, may I be there to see-
Dierdre: Will someone shut that minstrel up? Gimli come, have a chair.
Not a word of it is true and I should know, for I was there.