I'll Learn How to Fly

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly… ~Break Away; Kelly Clarkson

Erestor slowly limped into the council room and carefully sat in the chair reserved for him next to his Lord. Elrond arched an inquisitive brow at his councilor.

“Where is Glorfindel? I thought he was your assistant today.”

Erestor arranged his paper and ink that was always supplied before his chair so he would not have to carry it before responding. “I dismissed him.”

The eyebrow arched higher. “May I ask why.”

“He made some rather inappropriate comments. Mostly about my physical condition,” Erestor replied as he took a quill and dated the papers in front of him, trying to gage how many notes he would make during this session.

“Surely he did not. I’ve never known Glorfindel to be that crude. Air headed with his words maybe…”

“Your captain may be a genius on the field of battle, but when it comes to small talk he has the mental capacity of a brain-dead orc. Even though I am getting better at receiving derogatory comments, I still have no need to be harassed every day. I am going to find a new assistant.”

Elrond nodded in acknowledgement and grasped his hand under the table. Erestor closed his eyes and accepted the hand quietly, holding onto the small object when Elrond pulled his hand away. No one in the room noticed anything had taken place except a small show of comfort from one elf to another. Erestor clutched the small object gratefully, slowly pocketing it in his robes.

***********************************

Erestor made his way to his rooms without mishap, and he collapsed onto the bed as soon as he made it that far. The pain in his hip and leg was making his head spin. He took the little bundle out of his pocket and slowly unwrapped it. The dull white powder shimmered playfully at him in stark contradiction to their actual purpose. He wetted his index finger on his tongue and pressed it into the small pile. His fingertip came away coated in the powder, and he immediately brought the finger to his mouth the suck away the bitter tasting substance. After repeating this procedure a several times, he re-wrapped the bundle and placed it carefully on the side table. He hoisted himself higher up the bed and lay back as comfortably as possible. The dark elf waited until the substance slowly took over his body, making the pain turn into a hazy wave. Slowly, his tense and agonized muscles relaxed and his head lolled to the side. His eyes became glassy, and he felt much, much better.

He knew what Elrond did was illegal, letting him have the drug. That simply possessing the substance was forbidden, and his lord went to great lengths to hide the fact that his councilor was in too much pain to even sleep at night without a dose of morphine in his system. Erestor tried to at least go without it during the day. His mind was usually muddled after he took it, and sometimes it could even cause strange images to form themselves in front of his eyes. During the day, he could ignore the pain, shove it away in the back of his brain while he worked. The only time he seemed even remotely painless was while tending to his falcon, but that was short-lived at the least.

But nights…At night there was nothing to distract him from the pain, the sorrow, the helplessness. He could only lay in his empty bed, feeling the physical pain in his body and the emotional pain of one who was once hale and hearty who now could no longer even walk without the support of a cane.

He let the drug do its work as he lay, still fully dressed in his bed. The drugged haze soon took over, and he slept.

************************************

“Elladan! Elrohir! Glorfindel! Stop fooling around or someone will get hurt!” Erestor scolded the twin Peredhel and the Seneschal of Imladris. They were having an idle day, riding through the valley, and were currently climbing the valley walls on a particularly steep incline. The horses wanted to take the path slowly and cautiously, but the twins and the captain were encouraging their mounts to go faster, seeing who could be the first to the top of the small cliff.

“Oh, Erestor!" chided Glorfindel. "Stop being a prude. These horses know the path better than any other, which is why were brought them in the first place. Nothing-”

Glorfindel’s horse chose that moment to slip backwards, slamming into Elrohir’s horse. Frightened, both horses backed and bucked, causing Erestor’s horse flail. Erestor tried to reign in his mount with no luck, the beast was now terrified and it too started backing. It slipped on one of the large, smooth, slick stones that lined the path. The horse reared and only lost its footing even more. It tumbled backward, taking Erestor with it.

Erestor saw black.

*************************************

Erestor sat up in bed, sweating and shaking. His hip and leg hurt terribly, and he immediately took another dose of the drug by his bed. He lay back down, trying to sleep, but the memories continued where they had left off…

*************************************

Erestor came back to consciousness and screamed the pain nearly unbearable. He struggled, but hands held him down and voices shouted in his ear.

"Erestor! Erestor you need to hold still! Stay still!"

Erestor tried to remain calm, but the pain caused his body to shiver uncontrollably. He hiccupped and was ashamed when he heard himself sobbing from pain and residual fright. "Why can't I move my legs?" he whispered in between sobs. "I can't see!"

"Ada is coming, Erestor. 'Ro went to get him. He'll be here soon and then everything will be alright," Elladan soothed as he brushed back straggly black hair. "Just try not to move."

For several minutes, Erestor fought his body’s urge to move, to run from the agonizing pain. Eventually, he once again passed into darkness with the whispered words of encouragement from Elladan and Glorfindel ringing in his ears.