Of Secrets Shared and Secrets Kept

At the edge of the large clearing, facing the tents they had pitched earlier, and relaxing after an eventful fortnight of travel, Carnistir and Turukano were sunk neck-high in the warm water of the pond they had located less than two hundred meters away from their camp site. Without exchanging too many words after Irisse and Tyelkormo had left, the two put out the embers of their small camp fire and agreed on going to have a soothing bath before their companions returned and the four young Elves would seek rest in the arms of slumber.

They watched each other from the corners of inquisitive eyes, while they undressed and stepped in the water, the tall surrounding canopy filtering the dimming light even further, and giving the Elves the impression that they were lying on a secluded beach outside Alqualonde.

Arms and head resting against a smooth rock, Carnistir sighed contentedly and watched his legs floating just beneath the surface. Standing, the water reached just below his chest, but the young Elf had no intention of rising from the soothing warmth, as he enjoyed feeling his limbs light and the soreness of so many riding days slipping away. A couple of meters away, to Carnistir's right, his cousin did the same, paddling lightly and floating almost weightlessly, while his eyes sought the indigo canopy above, punctuated by twinkling stars.

For a few minutes they were both quiet, absorbed by the pleasant sensations evoked in their tired limbs, and their own thoughts. The only sounds that could be heard were issued by the soft waves that Turukano made in his lazy swim and the bustling insects that made their home in the tall grasses surrounding the pond.

"Do you think they'll be all right?" Turukano broke the silence after a while. He was wondering whether his sister and his cousin were safe, away from camp and unarmed, having been gone for over an hour. The young Elf did not question the reasons why the two lovebirds had disappeared hastily after dinner and he smiled, remembering the bright look of anticipation on his sister's face. The little girl had turned into a formidable woman, Turukano had to admit. She was head-strong and independent, not to mention very much in love and, as her brother, he was torn between the need to watch her, to be assured of her safety and the realization that she would scowl at him for what she would perceive as smothering.

The hunting trip was Turukano's first real adventure outside Tirion's magnificent and protected walls. The quiet young Elf had taken in every detail of their journey with great interest, being absorbed by new discoveries most of the time and thus, too busy to worry about his sister. The fact that she had left with Tyelkormo to search for a place where they would have enough privacy, was an exception, however. The thought sent a shiver through Turukano's body and he frowned, wondering whether he should be happy for the lovers, concerned for his sister's welfare or worried by the fact that his bold cousin would find it impossible to restrain himself, once the two were out of earshot.

Following this train of thought, Turukano stifled a chuckle, scolding himself for dwelling so much on his sister's personal affairs. Irisse beamed with joy, savoring the freedom that their adventure had given all of them, and the closeness that she and Tyelko shared. 'It is so obvious that he adores her.' Turukano told himself. 'It's silly of me to worry. After all, who could possibly take better care of my kid sister in the wild than a great hunter like my cousin?'

"Unless they tear a muscle or drown from exhaustion..." Carnistir's ironic reply startled Turukano, causing him to stand and face his cousin.

"What?..." he started, looking at Carnistir's narrowed eyes and his cheeky grin. "Come on, that's not funny!" he retorted, not quite accustomed to his cousin's peculiar sense of humor, yet.

"All right, it's not funny. But it's the worse thing that can happen..." Carnistir replied calmly, amused by the alarm he could read on his cousin's face.

"I am more worried about them being alone in the woods, unarmed and exposed to the danger of an attack." Turukano said, fazed by his companion's casual expression.

"We are just as unarmed and exposed, cousin." Carnistir replied.

"Yes, but..." Turukano trailed off, stopping himself just in time. He was about to say that they were not engaged in frantic lovemaking, as he assumed his sister and Tyelko to be, even as he spoke. Thankful for the waning light, Turukano splashed some water on his face, hoping to conceal his blushing cheeks.

"Don't worry. There are wolves in these woods, yes, and bears, further south, in the hills. But I have never seen or heard of an animal attacking my brother."

The confidence in Carnistir's voice and the proud look that crossed the young Elf's features soothed Turukano's worries, to some degree. "I know that Tyelkormo has an unusual gift. In fact I was hoping I could see it myself." he said.

"Well, then, you should ask Turko to sweet-talk some deer into eating out of the palm of his hand. Or a wild feline to curl and sleep at his feet. But that would spoil the fun of the chase." Carnistir replied, in the same, casual voice that made Turukano wonder whether his cousin was simply stating something or he was subtly mocking him.

Of course, the second possibility had crossed his mind hundreds of times, ever since he and Carnistir had been appointed to work together, during the preparations for Nolofinwe's begetting day party. The fist thing he had thought, back then, was "Woe is me!", but, after spending some time with Carnistir, Turukano had realized that they were not so different after all. Both young Elves were of a more quiet nature, inclined to think more and speak less. Both were efficient while carrying out their task, showing excellent coordinating skills. Where Carnistir was less patient and prone to anger, when things did not work exactly according to plan, Turukano had found ways to cool the rising of his cousin's temper. And a type of mutual understanding was forged between them, helped by the fact that Macalaure was often their companion, filling the silence with his chatter and his beautiful songs. Of course, both younger Elves rolled their eyes and laughed behind Macalaure's back, when the musician spoke or sang his love for the Telerin maiden that had him smitten (and he did this quite often). Turukano had found Carnistir less moody and dark than he had been warned, his weird sense of humor less hard to understand, and they shared jokes of their own as the awkwardness of their first meetings was replaced by a sense of familiarity. And yet, Turukano could not claim that he had come to know Carnistir enough to discern his thoughts or to be sure that Feanaro's proud and mysterious son was always genuine in his words and intentions.

"Still, it would be interesting to see. I have not heard of another Elf being able to talk to animals and make himself understood. Only the Ainur can do it." Turukano pursued the matter.

"For all I know, he is the only one of us with this amazing ability, but I'm counting out the Elves that did not make the journey to Aman. They are not under the protection of the Powers and I think that they would need a better understanding of the animals that roam those lands." Carnistir answered.

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that. I suppose you are right. We should ask grandfather about this. He might know more." Turukano agreed. "I remember laughing so hard one day, a long time ago, when I was but a child... Findekano told me that he found your brother in your mother's flower garden, surrounded by birds and chirping along with them. Even Findekano found it very amusing." Turukano continued, with a smile.

"I suppose you thought Turko is pretty crazy, didn't you?" Carnistir asked, giving his cousin a funny look.

"Well... to tell you the truth, I did. I also thought that Macalaure is crazy, so distracted and absorbed by his music, most of the time."

"He is..." Carnistir cut in, grinning.

"No, he's not. All right, maybe just a little bit. But I realize now, after getting a chance to know you better, that my brother was right when he told me that we should admire everyone in your family, because each of you is gifted in a unique way." the younger Elf said, standing and looking at the water's rippled surface, catching glimpses of his distorted reflection.

"Thank you, cousin. Truth be told, I never expected you to think, much less say this. My family and I, we are not the easiest people to understand. We've grown up in different places, you and I, separated by the unfortunate animosity between our fathers. I would not be surprised or offended if you found more than one thing bizarre about me and my brothers." Carnistir said, with a serious and honest look, searching for Turukano's eyes. That very moment, should anybody have said that his cousin was anything less than a kind and admirable Elf, Turukano would have beaten that foolish someone with a stick.

"You need not say that, Moryo." Turukano smiled, enjoying the way his cousin's nick-name rolled off his tongue."I do not find you or anyone in your family bizarre. All of you are interesting and intriguing, yes... and I am convinced that being in your company is never boring. I, on the other hand, must strike you as rather tiresome and plain." the young Elf finished, feeling embarrassed by the way his last words spoke of his insecurity and all but begged for a compliment. He watched Carnistir run a hand through his damp tresses and flash him a sweet smile.

"Oh, shut up! You are too dignified and too smart to say something like that. You are excellent company and there is absolutely nothing plain about you. I will hear not another word on this matter and I would appreciate it if you never thought of it again." the older of the cousins said, realizing that he sounded more commanding than funny, as he had intended. He watched Turukano lowering his eyes and murmuring something that might have meant he agreed, but Carnistir felt a pang of guilt at seeing his cousin's discomfort. "Um..., Turukano, I'm sorry. I did not mean to sound like that. It seems I have forgotten that I am only a few years your elder and you are not one of my baby brothers."

Again, Turukano only muttered something and kept his eyes on his toes, shifting in the soft sand. Carnistir almost gasped and slapped himself when the thought of how sweet and endearing his cousin appeared, shocked by the sudden urge to take Turukano in his arms. 'He is not a child, you stupid Elf, so stop treating him like one.' he admonished himself.

"Listen to us embarrassing each other like fools..." Turukano said after an uncomfortable moment of silence. "I don't know what came over me. You are right to scold me, for I am acting quite childish."

"Oh, don't worry." Carnistir sighed, relieved that they could put an end to the unpleasant situation. "Just rest assured that I value you and your company very much and I am very pleased that you have joined us on this trip. I suppose I could have coaxed Maitimo and Findekano to come with us, had you not volunteered, but I am happy that you did, because this gives us a chance to spend more time together and learn more about each other."

His cousin's words reached a slightly dazed Turukano and traveled down his spine, causing him to shiver slightly. He lowered himself in the water, trying to conceal his reaction and nodded, looking at Carnistir.

"It pleases me very much to hear this. I was worried that I might be a burden to you hunters, with my limited experience out-of-doors. I still don't think I can bring myself to kill any creature, but I can help with the cooking..." he trailed off and smiled, before sinking beneath the water and slowly swimming away, berating himself for his strange behavior. And for all the thoughts that had begun assaulting him ever since their companions had left him and Carnistir alone.

Watching Turukano disappear and surface at the opposite end of the pool, Carnistir sighed and lowered his head back onto the polished rock beneath him. He had many questions, some that only his elusive companion could answer, but Turukano had deliberately distanced himself. Puzzled, Carnistir wondered what had caused his serious, intelligent and self aware cousin to behave so out of character and openly display his... insecurity.

'Is it something you've said or done? Think, you silly Elf, is it your fault?' he asked himself. Part of him felt tempted to reach for the other's thoughts and solve the mystery before Turukano could even notice, but Carnistir immediately scowled at himself for the idea. He had promised not to use his own, frightening gift at the expense of others, just to make his own life easier and to amuse himself.

'You will have to figure this out like everybody else. If Turukano senses that you are trying to get inside his head he will shut you out and then you will have to look forward to the most uncomfortable and boring month of your life. So, think!' he urged himself and leaned back, letting his mind wander to the events of the last days... weeks even, searching for other moments when he might have said or done something that his cousin would have taken to heart. He knew that Nolofinwe's son, much like his father, had a tendency of never forgetting even the most minute detail.

Lost in thought, it was not long before Carnistir had shut the outside world out. But his body was rocked gently in the warm water and the smooth motion soon clouded his mind in a sleepy haze. His thoughts became random images and words and, soon after, he drifted away into reverie, unaware that his relaxing arms were likely to slip from the rock's surface.

Suddenly, he felt a jolt of pleasure coursing through his body and he tensed. Someone's hands were upon him, coaxing small whimpers of pleasure out of him. A hot mouth teased his pulsing need and made him writhe. Behind closed eyelids, he saw a dark head moving up and down rhythmically. His eyes traveled over his own naked from, sprawled on grey sand. His fingers were embedded in the sand at his sides, gripping it fiercely, as he moaned and arched his back. That incredible mouth was driving him to the edge fast and he cried out when two fingers stretched him open, reaching that spot inside his aroused body that made him scream. He saw the expression of bliss on his own face, the fine sheen of sweat that covered his skin. He watched his own head moving from side to side wildly, his tangled mane spilled on the sand like a dark halo. The panting Carnistir he saw, bucked his hips and cried out every time those skillful fingers brushed the sensitive knot of nerves within him, thrusting upward and into the mouth that received him eagerly. He felt himself being worked upon with fierce passion and the frantic pace made him explode with a keening cry. He kept thrusting even after his release had him engulfed by such pleasure that every nerve in his body tingled. And his inarticulate moans turned into a word, a name...

"Turukano!" he called out, waking up with a start, his heart pounding so fast that the sound of blood rushing madly through his veins filled his ears and drowned all other sounds. Before collecting his wits, he slipped off the rock he had been resting against and fell, with a splash. Confused, Carnistir opened his eyes and felt the sting of the warm water that quickly filled his nose and mouth, in his attempt to draw in a gulp of what he had thought was air. He panicked and began to move frantically, his feet searching the bottom of the pool. He pushed himself to the surface, coughing and trying to ease the burning in his lungs. He tossed his head to the side, seeking to remove the wet curtain of hair that had fallen on his face and kept him from breathing.

Help came in the form of a strong arm that supported him, while Turukano's other hand cleared the wet tendrils that still stuck to Carnistir's panicked face.

"Breathe... It's all right, I've got you..." Turukano murmured, holding on to his cousin, as Carnistir coughed the water he had swallowed.

"I'm... I'm all right..." he managed to say, breathing heavily and leaning on Turukano, grateful for the support. Turukano caressed his face soothingly, trying to calm both Carnistir and himself down.

"Is it better now? Can you breathe?..." He asked.

"Yes. Yes, I think so." Carnistir coughed one more time and ran a shaky hand over his face.

"What happened?" Turukano voiced his concern. "You gave me quite a scare. I thought you were drowning."

"I... I guess I was. I don't know what happened...One moment I was sleeping and the other I found myself underwater, shocked that I could not breathe." Carnistir answered, struggling to overcome the fright and make some sense into what had brought him in such peril.

"Gods! You were asleep? I had not realized. Come on, let's get you out of the water and dried." Turukano exclaimed. His cousin's first response was to let himself be guided to the shore, but he noticed, with no small amount of astonishment, that a proud erection stood between his legs. And he remembered his dream.

"N-no... It's all right. Let's not get out just yet. I'm fine. Besides, the water is warmer than the air and I don't feel like being cold right now..." Carnistir stammered, turning his face away and trying to conceal the angry blush that colored his cheeks.

"Are you sure?" his cousin asked, even more worried by Carnistir's behavior, as the older of the cousins tried to shake himself free of his hold.

"Yes. I'll just lean against this treacherous rock and try to recover my breath." Carnistir said, walking through the water on shaky legs and resting his elbows on the wet rock, his back turned to Turukano.

"As you wish, cousin." Turukano told him and settled himself at Carnistir's side, looking at him, concern written on his youthful face. "I'm sorry I did not watch you. I had no idea you had fallen asleep."

"Ah... I had no idea that I was asleep either. I just wanted to sit back and think about something. I must have scared you. I'm sorry." Carnistir said, with a small, apologetic smile, his cheeks still burning and his arousal still throbbing.

"You did startle me. I was swimming on the other side when I heard you calling for me. But you had disappeared under the surface when I turned to look at you. I saw your hands reaching out and realized that you were in trouble so I swam to your side as fast as I could. For a second, I thought that you were just trying to scare me, but when you surfaced and I saw the panic on your face, I understood that something wrong had happened." Turukano explained. "I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention and noticed that you had fallen asleep. Are you all right?"

"I guess... You're going to scowl at me, but I wish this were a prank. Had the water been deeper, Eru knows, I might have drowned. I was so disoriented and I panicked."

"Oh, I'd rather it were a prank and you had not been so frightened." Turukano smiled and placed a hand on Carnistir's shoulder.

"Thank you. For being here and for not laughing at me. This is so embarrassing." Carnistir murmured, looking at his cousin from the corner of his eye.

"Why would I laugh at you? I would definitely not. In fact, I'm still worried about what happened. Did you have one of your nightmares? When you called out for me, it sounded like a desperate cry."

Feeling his cheeks burning and unable to hide it any longer, Carnistir covered his face with both palms and sighed. "No, it was not a nightmare..."

"Good, I'm happy to hear that. But you don't have to feel so ashamed by this. It's only me here and you can talk about it, if you think it might help." Turukano replied, giving his cousin's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Carnistir remained still and silent for a few moments, his mind racing. The proximity of his cousin did nothing but bring back the vivid images and sensations he had experienced in his dream. His unruly body screamed for the other's touch, or some form of gratification that would ease the painful arousal, while Carnistir's mind struggled with questions: 'Should I tell him? How would he react? Will he walk away and never look me in the eye again? Do I betray our newly found friendship by having these lustful urges? Should I suppress them and pretend that nothing has changed? Do I really want my cousin?'

His fingers slipped through his damp hair and clutched at it forcefully, making his scalp hurt and tears sting the corners of his eyes. He pressed his forehead against the smooth rock and waited for the moment of anxiety and confusion to pass. Through the haze of his thoughts, Carnistir could barely hear his cousin speaking to him.

"Moryo... What is wrong? Talk to me... You do not seem all right at all. Please, you are frightening me again. Tell me what is the matter so I can help you. Moryo?..." he said, leaning closer and trying to pull his troubled companion in his arms. All of a sudden, Carnistir whirled around, facing his cousin and placing his palms on Turukano's chest. The difference of height favored Carnistir, but only by two inches. Yet, the older of the cousins appeared small and insecure when he peered into the blue eyes of his companion.

Startled by the sudden movement, Turukano blinked and gasped, as their bodies came in such close contact.

"I will tell you, if you really want to hear it. But forgive me if it is something that will make you uncomfortable." Carnistir drew in a deep breath and watched the wary look in the other's eyes. "No, wait. It's nothing that you need to be afraid of. I have not had a frightening vision, or anything of the kind. Even so... Ah! I dreamed that you and I were making love." he said quickly, searching his cousin's face for his reaction.

Sure enough, Turukano's eyes went wide, his jaw dropped and his whole body tensed. Carnistir willed himself to remain still and let his cousin move away from him, before trying to explain and fix the situation somehow. But Turukano did not tear himself away in great haste. In fact, his arms tightened around his cousin, while he recovered from the shock of hearing such a statement.

"What?..." he breathed, at last, after a few moments of stunned silence.

"I had an intense dream about you making love to me." Carnistir said, growing a little bolder. "I was lying back on the sand and you were pleasuring me with your hands and your mouth. I kept calling your name and... Oh, I'm sorry, but you wanted to know!" he finished abruptly, taken aback by the look of absolute shock that Turukano displayed. The younger Elf's arms slipped from around his cousin and fell at his sides. Turukano was perfectly still, not even blinking or breathing and his eyes were fixed on his cousin's flushed face in a incredulous stare.

Carnistir's palms also slid from his cousins chest, but slowly, moving on their own, as Carnistir waited for his companion to say something, anything. When he felt the warm palms slide over his pebbled nipples and brush his abdomen, before resting at Carnistir's sides, Turukano issued a soft moan and his eyelids fluttered.

It was Carnistir's turn to gasp and stare.

"Turukano... say something, please. I'm sorry if this disappoints you..." he began, but wet, warm fingers covered his lips and he shuddered.

"Sshh... Speak not of disappointment. I am not disappointed... just surprised. This is so... unexpected and so incredible. Moryo, while you were sleeping, I was lost in a fantasy. It was just like you said... I imagined that I had you sprawled beneath me, that you were mine to love and worship. I thought about how I would make your body sing with joy and how you would be flooded by pleasure with my name on your lips." Turukano said, in a low and trembling voice, caressing Carnistir's full, lower lip and the smooth skin of his cheek.

His cousin shivered under the touch and was taken aback by the passionate confession. He closed his eyes and tried to focus, to make some sense into the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that assaulted him. He realized that he had reached Turukano's mind in spite of his firm decision not to. He had lived the other's fantasy...

"Oh, Valar! I'm sorry." Carnistir murmured, at last. "I'm so sorry. I was asleep and I did not mean to do it." he said, and he felt Turukano recoiling under his words. "I was in your mind, Turukano." he rushed to say, but immediately realized that the addition would only make Turukano more uncomfortable, if not down right angry.

"You were what?" Turukano asked, frowning and becoming both frightened and confused.

"I... I can do that, sometimes. It is my gift, like you said earlier. I can get into people's heads and learn their thoughts. I used to do this a lot as a child, trying to see people's moods and perceive their thoughts. But I try not to do this anymore because it is like betraying someone's trust." Carnistir explained quickly.

"Oh... like uncle Arafinwe?..." was all Turukano could articulate.

"Yes, like him. In fact, he caught me doing it several times... Listen, I swear I did not do it to you on purpose. I was just trying to figure out whether I've done something to make you feel insecure or hurt. I fell asleep and... I had no idea." he tired to explain, casting his cousin quick, embarrassed glances. A moment later, his eyes shot up and he felt his knees go weak, as he asked, in a trembling voice: "Wait... did you just say that you were thinking about making love to me?..."

Turukano blushed profusely and his heart raced. "Yes." he whispered, convinced that the confession would cost him Carnistir's confidence and that their friendship could not continue because of his treacherous urges. And yet, a part of him felt relieved that he no longer had to hide his desire and pretend that he was comfortable spending so much time in the closeness of an Elf that had set his body aflame and filled his mind with fevered fantasies. He averted his gaze, but Carnistir reached out and turned his face, urging him to meet his darkened eyes.

"You mean it?" Carnistir inquired, hating himself for sounding so weak and unsure.

"Yes." the other whispered again, and watched how his cousin's mind registered the thought, a dazed expression on Carnistir's face. Behind his wide open eyes, he began putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Many recollections flooded his mind, little things, words and gestures that appeared innocent and beyond suspicion, but took on a different light after Turukano's confession. The way he was so apprehensive sometimes, they way he shied from any kind of physical contact, his uncharacteristic insecurity and... the very fact that he had wished to join the hunting party... it all made sense to Carnistir. He felt warmth spreading through his body and tenderness smoothed his features as he looked at his cousin once again. Still, he was unsure what to say, or do.

"When?..." he asked, and the confusion on the other's face told him that Turukano could not read his thoughts. "When did it start?" he continued.

Turukano took a deep breath, having expected a more violent reaction and certain rejection, but he did not see any sign of anger and disgust on his cousin's beautiful face. This encouraged him a little and gave him the strength to make a full confession, realizing that he had nothing left to lose.

"It started the moment we began spending more time together. I was awed and a bit frightened by you, having listened to other people's warnings. But the more you revealed yourself, the more you came out of your protective shell, I realized what an amazing person you are. I began to cherish out time together, to enjoy how well we worked together and how much I could learn from you. I loved to hear you speak about your family and the closeness between all of you. And, as I saw the affection written on your face, every time you spoke to me of home, of your life surrounded by so many loving and exceptional people, I longed for it. I longed to be in your place and, before I knew it, I longed to be with you. Like Findeknao is with Maitimo and like your family has welcomed him as one of your own." Turukano paused to breathe deeply and brace himself, before he continued. "You are beautiful, cousin. So fair and gifted with this unique charm, that you may not even be aware of. You fascinate me. You make me crave for your presence and... for so much more. Forgive me if this makes you feel uncomfortable. I would hate to cause you any kind of unease and I have tried my best to conceal my feelings, lest I disturb you and drive you away. But it is out in the open now, and the best I can hope for is that you will not loathe me. Forgive me for betraying your trust." the young Elf finished, unable to look his cousin in the eye any longer.

Turukano sighed and made to turn away, waiting and dreading the outburst that would certainly come. He was startled to hear Carnistir say, in a small voice:

"But I thought that you were courting a maiden, in Tirion!"

The younger of the cousins cleared his throat and answered: "No... I might have kissed a maiden, once or twice, but that does not mean anything. It only gives rumors wings to spread and reach everybody's ears. I say nothing on the matter because I do not wish to cause anyone further humiliation than proving the rumor wrong by my actions. But... no, I am not courting anyone."

'Just you.' he nearly added, but caught himself and kept his tongue. By the time he had finished his answer Turukano had backed away a few steps, but he halted, when Carnistir asked him:

"What are you doing? Why are you walking away?"

The young Elves shared an intense, wordless look, before Turukano answered.

"Do you not wish me to leave your side?"

"Why would I?... No." Carnistir shook his head. "Come back..." he added, in a softer voice. "You think that what you have just told me has made me resent you?"

Turukano only nodded, placing one foot in front of the other, terribly unsure as to where the strange situation would lead them. "Yes. That is what I fear." he said.

"No, no... Please... A moment ago, I dreaded your reaction when speaking about what I had seen in your mind. I thought that you would be revolted and betrayed, or that I had imagined something that was not there. Turukano, I do not think any less of you after learning that... Oh, Eru! I am speechless. I don't know what to say, or do... I don't know what to make of your confession and I have no idea what is going to happen to us, but please, please do not think that I will turn away from you in anger. In fact..." he trailed off, with a small, shy smile, reaching out for his cousin, as the distance between them was closed.

"Are you sure?" Turukano murmured. He caught his cousin's hand between his own and lifted it to his lips, stopping himself before he could place a kiss on the trembling fingers. "Does this not make you feel uneasy?" he breathed, and warmth traveled through Carnistir's arm, making his heart race even faster.

"I don't know..." he answered. "No, being close to you does not make me feel uneasy. It's just that... Turukano, you confessed your feelings for me. You said that you want us to have a relationship like our eldest brothers share. That means that you need more than physical gratification from me. And I... I'm just very surprised by this. I should have known it sooner. I should have paid more attention... Turukano, I don't know if I deserve your feelings..."

"Oh, but you do. Believe me, you do. And even if you were the most undeserving creature in Arda, I would still want to love you. But I understand that you are taken aback by all this. It heartens me to hear that you are not angry with me and I will give you your peace, if you wish to think about this on your own. I will be there whenever you need me, regardless of what your heart tells you to do." Turukano said, trying to maintain his fragile composure just a little longer, just until he could hide somewhere and wring his hands in despair. Hope mixed in the turmoil that whirled in the young Elf's mind, yet he felt more helpless than he had ever been.

"No, don't go..." Carnistir pleaded. "Wait... I am taken aback, yes, but I do not believe that thinking about this on my own will help. I need you to answer so many questions."

"I will give you the answers you need, if I can." Turukano rushed to assure him, though he felt anything but sure, himself.

"This much I can tell you, though. I am glad that we have spoken about it and that I have made such a wonderful discovery. It warms my heart to know that I have earned your affection, even with so little effort on my part. As for the desire..." Carnistir stopped, blushing once more, and looking into his cousin's eyes. "What I have seen in my dream... in your fantasy, has affected me more than I have allowed you to see."

Gathering up the courage to do what he had felt the need for since he had shook himself of the previous fright, Carnistir slowly guided Turukano's right hand over his abdomen, lowering his palm to cover the generous arousal that had not diminished while they were involved in such an emotional conversation. He gasped and fought the urge to grind against the fluttery touch, but he could not help pressing Turukano's hand closer.

The younger elf let out a strangled whimper. His nostrils flared, his eyes shot wide open and a surge of lust bolted through him. He drew in a shallow breath and leaned closer to his cousin, whispering his name.

"Yes, Turukano, this means that, though my heart is unsure and my mind filled with questions, my body screams for your touch. Show me, if you want to... and then we'll see where it takes us." Carnistir murmured, beginning to lose his composure as he felt Turukano's fingers wrapping against his throbbing arousal and beginning to move, excruciatingly slow. The younger Elf shuddered and pressed himself closer, wrapping his free arm around Carnistir's neck. This brought his head so near that Carnistir could feel his warm breath tickling his lips, when Turukano whispered:

"If I want to?... Moryo, I have wanted you for so long that I can hardly believe this is happening. Will you let me love you?..."

The only answer he got was a whimper, before Carnistir clasped his arms around his cousin's lithe form and pressed their mouths together. Their first kiss was long, experimental, they fumbled with each other as they searched and tasted the sweetness that each of them had to offer. When Turukano released Carnistir's pulsing member and used both hands to cup his cousin's face, bringing him closer for a deeper kiss, Carnistir immediately pressed himself against the other's body, seeking more contact and more friction. He met Turukano's burning need with a muffled cry, realizing just how strong the effect of his closeness was, on his cousin's body.

All questions and insecurities were soon cast aside and the two Young Elves touched each other eagerly, giving in to the lust that drove them on. Their embrace became more heated as their hands roamed over smooth muscles and slender limbs, discovering each other's bodies and moaning in delight. Carnistir tossed his head back, his long, midnight hair floating on the water's surface beneath him, allowing Turukano to kiss and lick fiery patterns on the smooth skin of his neck. Small whimpers escaped his lips and he cupped Turukano's behind, pressing him even closer, while he moved his hips. The younger Elf issued a deep growl, but his lips never left Carnistir' heated skin, as he descended to tease a rosy, pebbled nipple, even if he knew that he would soon lose his remaining sanity when he felt his arousal trapped between their bodies and rubbed, in the maddening heat of Carnistir's own throbbing member.

"I need to..." Carnistir began, in a shaky, pleading voice, but his words were lost in a delightful moan, when Turukano broke free of his embrace and snaked a hand between them, taking hold of both their arousals and starting a quick, stroking motion. "I can't hold it... much longer..." he mewled, tangling his hands in Turukano's damp hair and looking at his cousin's face. He shuddered, drawing in the intoxication beauty of Turukano's face, his blue eyes darkened by lust, his cheeks flushed and his delicious lips parted, as the younger Elf breathed heavily.

"You are so beautiful..." he murmured and he was rewarded by a maddening caress, below the water, causing him to roll his eyes and groan.

"And you...you are... Gods, Moryo... you are killing me!" Turukano panted. "I am very close, too..." he added and forced himself to slow the pace of his strokes, despite Carnistir's disappointed whimper. He battled the urgent need to find release and wondered if Carnistir would accept walking out of the water and be ravished, like Turukano craved to have him. He found enough strength to clear his wits for a moment and ask his cousin:

"Moryo... my love, have you done this before?"

Hearing the endearment, Carnistir's eyes shot wide open and he stared at his cousin, wondering why in Arda was he asking such things. And why had he almost stopped stroking his aching arousal?!

"Hmm?" he blinked.

"I... I wanted to know if you have ever... made love with... a male, before. I don't want to do anything that might cause you discomfort." Turukano said, giving his cousin a loving smile.

Carnistir felt something withing him respond to the tenderness and concern that Turukano felt, but the fleeting feeling was replaced by a vision of sparkling blue eyes and a golden, flowing mane. He closed his eyes and nearly snorted. 'Get out of my head! You've got your own, now let me have mine!' he shouted at the image before his closed eyelids. Shaking his head, he returned Turukano's fond look.

"I... I have. Yes. Don't worry. You could never hurt me." he answered and smiled, reassuringly.

Turukano felt an unexpected pang of jealousy that sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine, but the urged himself not to think about who had been so lucky as to have and please the wonderful Elf in his arms. Carnistir's trusting expression banished such thoughts instantly and Turukano kissed him tenderly, before searching his cousin's eyes once more.

"I would never hurt you. I want to give you pleasure in every way that I can think of." he murmured, in a low, husky voice, feeling Carnistir tremble in his arms. He reached bellow the water and caressed his cousin's thigh, letting his hand slide between Carnistir's legs. That touch and the heated, pointed look in Turukano's eyes spoke volumes about what his cousin desired, and Carnistir shuddered again, overwhelmed by the intensity of the other's passion. For a brief moment he wondered whether he would open up to his cousin's ministrations, whether he would let Turukano have him completely. He recalled the sensation of being touched and pleasured so intimately, as he had experienced it in the vivid dream, and a soft moan escaped his lips.

"You will, Turukano. You will have me in any way you please and I will give you the same pleasure." he whispered wantonly. "But now... now I need to..." he broke off, bucking his hips and moving against his cousin's hard member. "Just finish it... please..." he whimpered.

Carnistir's response pushed Turukano beyond the restraints of reason and he gave in, urged by his own desire. He crushed his mouth over Carnistir's soft, inviting lips and kissed him fiercely, while picking up the pace and stroking their lengths to a quick release. He moaned deeply when Carnistir's fingers found the tips of his ears and rubbed them, sending furious thrills through him.

The water rippled around them, and small puffs of steam rose from the surface of the pond and their heated skin, as the air had cooled slightly. Oblivious to anything but the maddening pleasure that mounted and mounted, toward a shattering release, they moved wildly and cried on each other's lips. Turukano's body stopped bucking and the young Elf arched his back, gritting his teeth and hissing, when his release came upon him with a surge of blinding pleasure. Every breath he released came with a moan, and he leaned against Carnistir, nibbling his earlobe and continuing to move his hand in a fast rhythm.

A few moments later, Carnistir cried out Turukano's name and his seed shot in a furious burst, making him moan, long and deep. He nearly collapsed, gasping for air, his legs shaking, while his mind swam in a blissful haze. Despite the exhaustion, he clutched Turukano to his chest, breathing deeply in his damp hair and inhaling the unique scent that was his cousin.

'I could get used to this...' he thought, and he kissed the dark tresses, feeling wonderful and sated. The notion that he could share much more than lustful embraces and brief satisfaction with the Elf that held him and caressed his back, murmuring soft endearments, made Carnistir smile. Yes, he could certainly get used to it...

A few minuted of silence passed, as the young Elves recovered their breath, never letting go of each other. Finally, Carnistir moved in the embrace, pressing soft kisses on Turukano's hair, letting his mouth travel over his cousin's cheek. When they faced each other, he cupped Turukano's face in both palms and looked deep into his shining, blue eyes.

"This was... It was wonderful, Turukano. Thank you so much..." he said, between fluttering kisses to the other's parted lips. Turukano moaned in response and his hands clenched into fists, nails digging into his skin.

'You are not going to cry! You are not going to cry!' he shouted at himself, though his eyes were shining with unshod tears.'This is to wonderful to be ruined by tears. Hold yourself together!' he continued berating himself silently, before murmuring a soft "Thank you..." on Carnistir's lips.

Sensing that his cousin was on the brink of an emotional reaction and knowing that he was not yet able to respond as Turukano would wish him to, the older of the cousins smiled and traced a hot, wet line along Turukano's jaw, nibbling his smooth skin. When he reached his earlobe, he let his tongue tease the delicate shell and then, feeling Turukano shudder, he murmured seductively:

"Would you take me out of the water and make real that fantasy of yours?" he said, before grazing the sensitive, pointed tip of Turukano's ear, smiling when he heard his cousin's yelp.

"I would... I will" Turukano breathed, wishing that he could lift his cousin in his arms and carry him to the sandy shore. But he was the smaller of the two, lighter and less strong than Carnistir so, if anyone was to be carried, it would be him. He smiled at the thought and disentangled himself from the embrace. He had just recovered his breath but Carnistir's ministrations poured fire in his veins once more.

Taking hold of his cousin's hand, he gave him a brilliant smile and told him: "Come on, come on and I'll show you."

Carnistir nodded and followed him, excitement making his heart race and butterflies roam through his stomach.

***

When Tyelkormo silently stepped inside the tent that he shared with his brother, he was surprised to find Carnistir sprawled on the bedrolls, in the middle of the tent, hands folded beneath his raven head and a huge grin upon his face. The younger Elf's eyes were literally shining and Tyelkormo found himself staring, responding the same way.

"Hello, little brother." he whispered.

"Hello, Turko. Had a good time, I trust." Carnistir answered, looking his older brother up and down, his smile never wavering.

"A very good time, yes." Tyelko answered.

"I was beginning to believe you would not come back until the morning."

"Don't tell my you were worried." the blond shook his head and narrowed his eyes, shooting Carnistir a fake-incredulous glare.

"No. I wasn't. Not for you, anyway. I did ponder on the well being of our lovely cousin, though. Can she still walk?" Carnistir inquired, amused by the way Tyelko gaped and blinked several times. Despite the darkness, the brothers could see each other quite well.

"Well... She came back on her own feet, thank you very much for asking." Tyelko huffed. "What about you? Why are you grinning like your face is about to break, hmm?"

Carnistir gave him an enigmatic smile and said nothing.

"Wait... You did not kill our cousin, did you?" Tyelko asked, putting on a straight face.

His brother snickered and shook his head in a silent "No".

"Maim him beyond repair...?" Tyelko carried on, to be be answered by Carnistir shaking his head once more. "Emotionally scarred him for life?" the blond tried again, giving up his forced expression and smiling.

"I certainly hope not!" Carnistir finally exclaimed.

"All right. What did you two busy yourselves with while we were gone?"

Carnistir winked and kept his smiling mouth firmly shut.

"What?! Moryo... you know I hate it when you act all mysterious and secretive. Tell me!" Tyelko insisted.

His brother only shrugged and told him that he would never guess.

"Come on! This is ridiculous. I am your older brother and I have a right to know..." Tyelko said, walking closer to Carnistir's sprawled form and towering above him. He noticed that Carnistir did not seem at all fazed, so he bit his lip and added. "At least give me a clue."

"No." came the answer.

"No?! What in the name of Eru did you do? I hope it's nothing stupid that I'll have to get you out of."

"No." Carnistir simply stated again, his smile broadening and showing his white teeth.

Genuinely annoyed, Tyelko dropped to his knees and glared at his younger brother. "Well, good. But that does not help me in any way. Tell me the great mystery, brother. I don't have time for this now."

"You might not have time, but my secret is well worth it." Carnistir teased in a sing-song voice.

"Gods, I hate you!" Tyelko grunted and, before his startled brother could react, he threw himself above Carnistir, grabbed his arms and wrested them above his brother's head, pinning his wrists down. Carnistir squirmed and tried to break free, but his older brother's larger, heavier body had him trapped. Tyelko straddled his brother's hips and lowered his head, capturing Carnistir's mouth in a savage kiss, before he could toss his head to the side.

The younger Elf whimpered, struggled to break free, but he gave in shortly after, and opened up to the invading tongue that teased his lips. Tyelko deepened the kiss and kept it going until he felt that both of them were out of breath. Then, he released Carnistir's crimson lips and licked them one last time, before lifting his head and grinning at his brother's flustered expression.

"Whoa... what was that for?" Carnistir asked, panting.

"Tell me..." Tyelko growled and, when Carnistir wanted to say no, he dragged his hips over his brother's groin, making him grunt and shoot him a dirty glare.

"Get off me, Turko." the younger Elf said, ineffectively trying to free his hands from Tyelko's firm grip.

"Not until you tell me." his brother answered, thrusting again and feeling Carnistir respond.

"No!" Carnistir huffed, inwardly laughing at the ridiculous situation. He could not avoid becoming aroused again, despite knowing that it gave his brother the upper hand.

"Spill !" Tyelko growled again and he was rewarded with a throaty chuckle.

"Oooo, I did!" his brother answered.

"What?!" Tyelko gaped, shooting his brother a suspicious look. "What do you mean, you spilled? What did you spill?"

Carnistir bit his lip, smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively. He could not help laughing and enjoying the jolts of pleasure that shot through him as the shaking of his body caused Tyelko's weight to shift on top of him.

The blond stared, dumb-folded and blinked rapidly, a couple of times, before he burst out:

"You have got to be kidding me, Moryo!"

Carnistir smirked and shook his head. Watching his brother's stunned expression, he bucked his hips and made Tyelko yelp.

"You... you naughty little..." the older of the brothers began. "Moryo... you had sex with Turukano?"

"We made love, brother dearest." Carnistir answered in a sweet voice. "Now, get off me before I kick you so hard that you will not be able to walk for a week, much less keep that beautiful cousin of ours satisfied."

"Oh, all right. You don't have to be so mean." Tyelko answered, releasing his brother and rolling to his side. He expected Carnistir to push him away when he tried to kiss him again, but the younger Elf tangled the fingers of one hand in his brother's golden tresses and received the soft kiss with equal tenderness.

"I'm glad to hear this, beloved. It was about time." he whispered, caressing Carnistir's cheek and smiling lovingly.

"Huh?! What did you say?" his brother frowned. "It was about time?!"

"Well... yes. Eru knows, Turukano has been lusting after you for way too long and he has kept mustering the courage to approach you..." Tyelko said, but he was cut short by a powerful shove that knocked the breath out of him and sent him off Carnstir with an "Oomph!"

"Are you saying that you have known about this and you have not told me, Turkafinwe?!" Carnistir shot up and glared at his brother.

"Yes... yes, I have known. But, before you become all angry and bothered, hear me out. Irisse has told me, after her brother asked to join us on the trip. I was just as surprised as you were, when Turukano said that he wants to travel and hunt with us, so I asked Irisse if she knows more about his motivation. Under the pain of death and much, much worse, she made me swear that I would not tell you anything. All right? Will you please stop looking at me like you are about to pull my hair out?" Tyelko said, raising his hands in a defensive posture.

"More like throttle you..." the younger Elf grumbled, but he bit back his anger and relaxed.

"Thank you for your wonderful intentions. But, really, I could not tell you. The best I could do was to nudge you in the right direction, if I saw that nothing happened. But it did." he finished, with a grin. "So, how was it?"

"Hmm?" Carnistir stared, for a moment, before laughing softly and putting on a dreamy look. "It was great! Sensational... perfect, so hot and so sensual that I felt unmade by so much pleasure. Valar, Turko, he loves me! And he spared no effort in showing it. What?!" he asked, looking at a pouting Tyelkormo.

"You could have just said it was good." the older Elf grumbled.

"Why? Are you jealous?" Carnistir inquired sweetly.

"Umm... a little. But anyone who loves you and makes you happy has my affection also. Will you give it a shot, then?" Tyelko asked, his expression becoming serious.

"Even if I did not feel a pull on my heart, I wold still try. Turukano deserves it. We've had a good start." he mused, and a wistful look crossed his beautiful face again. "We just have to see what happens next. But I trust him and I think that he will win me over in no time."

"Good." Tyelko murmured. "Looks like the last of the Nolofinwions has finally caved in." he added, smiling wickedly.

"Speaking of which..." Carnistir brightened and looked at his brother questioningly. "How did it go with Irisse?"

"I asked her..." Tyelko said, unable to hold back the joy that lit his beautiful face.

"You did?..." Carnistir covered his mouth in awe, anxiously waiting for the outcome of his brother's attempt. "And?..."

"She said 'Yes' . Many times, in fact." Tyelko managed to answer, before his brother grabbed him in a tight hug. He giggled, as Carnistir pressed a rain of kisses all over his face and then hugged him some more.

"Gods, Turko, I'm so happy for you This is such great news! You must be ecstatic..." the younger of the brothers spoke, his words muffled by the cascade of soft hair that he had buried his face into.

"I am both ecstatic and exhausted." Tyelko answered, and Carnistir felt him laughing softly. He sat before his brother and they both beamed at each other. Then, Carnistir caressed his bothers' cheeks, and he sighed, though no trace of melancholy could be read on his face.

"You know what this means?... No more fooling around for us, my beautiful."

"None." Tyelko murmured. "Which is why I am so glad that Turukano has professed his feelings and you have responded likewise."

"I am going to miss you..." Carnistir murmured.

"And I am going to kiss you." Tyelko snickered and immediately followed his statement. When they broke the sweet embrace and looked at each other, they both began laughing.

"You know, what you just did is one heck of a way to behave for someone who is bethroted and his fiancee could be walking in here any time." Carnistir shook his head, scolding his brother.

"Oh, now you worry about it. Forgive me, but I have chosen the easiest way to coax you into telling me what you have done. Irisse is waiting at a safe distance and she is probably concerned that it's taking me so long to persuade you."

"To persuade me?..." Carnistir gave him a pointed look.

"We would like to sleep together in this tent, if you don't mind. I want us to exchange the rings that Atar made for us in the morning." Tyelko answered.

"You know... normally I would make you grovel a little longer, but I won't. This time. Of course you can share this tent. In fact, Turukano and I were thinking about sleeping together, but we decided to wait until the two of you returned. And you have taken your time, so..." the younger Elf shrugged and rose to his feet, extending his hand in Tyelko's direction. "Come on, let's not make your fiancee wait and worry any longer."

When Tyelkormo was also on his feet, the brothers wrapped their arms around each other once more, lingering like this for a few moments.

"I love you, Turko. May Eru bless your union with your beloved and rest assured that I am always with you, my brother." Carnistir whispered.

"I love you, my dear little brother. I pray that you find the same happiness and completion that I have, whether it will be with our cousin or any other Elf. I will watch over you as always and I will always be there for you." Tyelko answered, pressing a kiss on Carnistir's forehead. They both smiled tenderly and, the following moment, Carnistir slipped his boots on and stepped out of the tent.

He saw Irisse walking back and forth just out of earshot and he cleared his throat as he approached her, amused to see her whirl around, startled.

"Moryo!" she exclaimed softy, letting out a yelp when he put his arms around her and crushed her to his chest.

"Congratulations, my sister, and welcome to the family!" he said, making her giggle.

"Oh! He told you..." she breathed and blushed becomingly.

"Of course he did. And I am very happy for both of you. I know that my bother is a very lucky Elf and the two of you are made for each other." he told her. She wanted to answer, but couldn't, as her lips were covered and Carnistir gave her a firm kiss.

Tyelkormo coughed, behind them, barely hiding an amused smile, when his brother released a stunned Irisse, the young Elf staring at her fiance open-mouthed, mumbling something that was supposed to sound like "Thank you."

"I am going to sleep with your brother now." Carnistir said, with a brilliant grin and a wink in Irisse's direction, before turning away and walking briskly to the tent where Turukano had gone to rest over an hour before his sister and his cousin had returned from their passionate venture in the woods.

Irisse stared as his retreating back, shook her head and turned to Tyelkormo. He smiled in his brother's direction and then put an arm around his bethroted.

"Come, you've waited in the chill for too long. My brother has eagerly agreed to let us have the tent. For more than just what is left of this night." he said.

Irisse looked up at him questioningly.

"What do you mean? And what is this wicked look on your face, my love?" she asked him, as they walked back to the tent that temporarily housed the belongings of both Feanorions.

"I'll tell you when we get inside." Tyelko said. "But brace yourself, the news is quite extraordinary..."

***

Making a bit of noise as he entered Turukano's tent, Carnistir smiled, looking at the sleeping form of his cousin, half covered by a blanket and beginning to wake.

"Turukano..." he whispered. "Wake up, please..."

Turukano turned on his back and peered at his cousin, looking sleepy, sweet and innocent.

"Can I sleep here with you?" Carnistir inquired, unable to suppress the broad grin that betrayed his excitement. He noticed the spark in Turukano's eyes, as his cousin returned the smile. "My brother and your sister were kind enough to leave me without a place to crash and I was wondering... would you be so kind as to shelter me?" he continued, tilting his head and biting his lip, putting up a pretty convincing act. Turukano felt the last traces of sleep vanish and a surge of renewed lust shot through him as he watched Carnistir's playful display.

"Hmm... Let me see..." he murmured, tossing the blanket aside. With an inviting expression, he crooked his forefinger and bid his cousin to join him, without moving to make place for Carnistir on the soft blankets. "Come here..." he purred.

"Thank you." Carnistir nodded graciously, before lowering himself on top of Turukano and capturing his mouth in a searing kiss.