Cinderella of the BumpNGrind

GayShaggingCats note: Imagine that scene from Rocky Horror with Columbia and Magenta on the chaise longue. Now you've got my MST setting.
This contains various characters ripped off from various places, mostly Tolkien's LOTR. Original 'text' is 'credited' to Kairi Dark/ Midnight Rose. Wish she'd make up her mind.

*****

EOWYN: Shove over Arwen, you're taking up the whole couch.

ARWEN: It's a chaise longue, you back-water shield maiden.

EOWYN: *sulk* You're still mad about that whole Aragorn thing aren't you?

ARWEN: Not so much. And there's plenty of room, we just have to snuggle up a bit.

EOWYN: *trying to fit on chaise longue* You could move over a little bit...

ARWEN: No I can't. Now be quiet while I read you a story.

EOWYN: Oo, I like stories!

ARWEN: What did I just say?

EOWYN: *sulk*

++Aryante: A Cinderella Story http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1252812
Author: Kairi Dark ++

EOWYN: I didn't think they had fairy s ins in Middle Earth.

ARWEN: It'd explain the copy of Sleeping Beauty in the Hobbidykes story.

EOWYN: Did you invite anyone else?

ARWEN: All the boys are busy in other MSTs. This is girls' night.

++Aryante: A Cinderella Story
By: Midnight Rose ++

ARWEN: I'll take 'Split Personalities' for one hundred...

++Disclaimer: I do not own any people in this story..... well..... besides thery gry godmother and the assistants. ++

EOWYN: The Brothers Grimm may disagree with that.

ARWEN: Or was it Hans Christian Andersen?

EOWYN: I'm sure it was someone other than Kairi Dark/ Midnight Rose.

++The main character and her family belong to ElevenPrincessofLegolas. And The LOTR characters belong to J.R.R Tolkien.

EOWYN: Never heard of him.

I would like to thank Megan (ElevenPrincessofLegolas) for revising my story. I would ask you if you have not read sto stories then please do! She is an amazing author and her stories will have you off the edge of your seat!!

ARWEN: And her inability to tell this girl that *her* stories are a pile of horseshit will have you gasping for air. From the stench of the horseshit.

EOWYN: What's wrong with horseshit? It smells like home.

ARWEN: *gives Eowyn a little more space on the chaise longue*

EOWYN: *rereading over Arwen's shoulder* 'Her stories will have you off thee ofe of your seat!!'

ARWEN: At which time you will hit your head on the chaise longue and pass into blessed unconsciousness.

++Chapter 1: A day at the Market place
Legolas Greenleaf was the prince of Mirkwood. He had long white blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. ++

EOWYN: (as Legolas) Still the prettiest! Go me!

ARWEN: Trust me, he's overrated. Galadriel, on the other hand...

EOWYN: *blank stare*

++He was tried of living in royalty ++

ARWEN: The Mirkwood courts are full of elves being tried of living in royalty. It's the most common misdemeanour.

++and decided to see what it was like as a peasant. He thought of the perfect place. The market place. ++

EOWYN: (as Legolas) The market place- the perfect place! One shopping trip will fill a grown woman's basket for a week!

ARWEN: Nice Lembas Commercial (TM).

++He quickly got changed in a green tunic, with brown leggings and black boots. He went to his window and quickly jumped from it. ++

EOWYN: You elves are so damned quick. You're hard to keep up with.

ARWEN: *fingers on Eowyn's ankle* Don't worry baby, I'll take things slow.

EOWYN: *blank stare*

++Then he went on his way. When he got there he walked though looking at each cart. He was not looking where he was going.++

ARWEN: He walked though looking. Multi-tasking is certainly noteworthy in blondes.

EOWYN: Hey!

ARWEN: *Strokes Eowyn's hair* Hey, settle. You know I respect your mind.

EOWYN: You're sure the boys aren't coming?

ARWEN: You're not still into Aragorn are you?

EOWYN: No!

ARWEN: Just relax and I'll keep reading.

++Aryante Rose was a peasant. ++

ARWEN: Cue Mary Sue. Sorry, Cinderella Sue. Stand by for description of hair.

EOWYN: I call chocolate brown, flipped by rough January winds! *nod to Band of Rusty Gold*

++She was in the market place for her family. ++

ARWEN: Daddy's farm was going badly so he sold his daughters into a prostitution ring. His sons had more business training and operated as independent rent-boys.

++She wore a brown dress that went to her ankles. Unlike her family, she had black hair and black eyes. ++

EOWYN: Damn! Her hair isn't even raven black.

ARWEN: And she's been in a fist fight. Tried to cheat her pimp out of his 40% cut.

++She sighed. ++

ARWEN & EOWYN: *sigh*

++She only wished she could live away from her family. Her step mother, and step sister where cruel to Aryante. ++

EOWYN: I can't figure any way to fit the word 'where' into that sentence, but this girl's done it.

ARWEN: Where was Megan when that sentence was written, huh?

EOWYN: Maybe Kairi Dark/ Midnight Rose keeps Megan locked in a gimp box in the basement.

ARWEN: And only lets her out when she stops blathering about foreign conepts such as 'Spelling' and 'Grammar'.

++However her other step sister was kind to her and always helped her. Her father died when she was younger. She always wondered how could have he married such a lady after her mother died. ++

ARWEN: After his crack-ho wife ODed he hooked up with a lady for his next try. Social climber.

EOWYN: I can't stand upstarts.

ARWEN: *considers starting something up Eowyn's skirt*

EOWYN: What's that look you've got in your eyes?

ARWEN: *Still thinking about things up Eowyn's skirt* So, are you a natural blonde?

EOWYN: Huh?

ARWEN: Guess so.

++She carried on with a basket full of fruits and flowers and her day dreaming. ++

ARWEN: Day dreaming takes up so much room in one's shopping basket, and it's not light either.

++She was also not looking where she was going. She soon bumped into someone. Her basket fell on the ground.
"Are you all right?" asked a handsome voice. ++

EOWYN: She was surprised to see that the handsome voice belonged to a remarkably ugly elf.

ARWEN: It wandmandmaster Snatch, founder of Mirkwood's most successful phone sex business. The main competition for the BumpNGrind, Aryante Rose's place of employ.

++She looked up and saw a man with blue eyes and long blonde hair. ++

EOWYN: Isn't it ironic?

ARWEN: No. You've been listening to that Alanis Morrisette CD again, haven't you?

++she gazed at him for a while until his voice ripped his out of her dreaming. ++

EOWYN: I have no idea what that means but it sounds really painful.

++"I am terribly sorry." He helped her up
''Tis all right I was not watching where I was going." She replied. ++

ARWEN: (as Legolas) Bloody poor form, old chap.

EOWYN: (as Aryante Rose) Oo, twas me bein' a right bint as always!

++"Neither was I."
Legolas looked at the girl and was stunned by her beauty. ++

ARWEN: And by the electric cattle prod she kept in her shopping basket to deal with really squicky clients.

++She had long black hair and black eyes. ++

EOWYN: Yes, I *know*, I guessed wrong! You don't need to rub it in!

++He saw her go to pick up her basket.
"Here let me help you with that," he offered.
He helped her put the things in her basket. ++

ARWEN: Please, a round of rotten tomatoes for the least dynamic action scene of the Third Age!

++"I thank you sir but if you will excuse me I must get back ... or my family would be worried about me." ++

EOWYN: (As Aryante Rose's stepsister) Where is that stupid ho? She was due back from the BumpNGrind two hours ago!

ARWEN: (As Aryante Rose's stepmother) I hope that pimp's giving her a sound beating, otherwise I'll make her sleep in the cinders again.

++She thanked him again. "Good day."
She soon walked off leaving him with only one thing on his mind. Her. ++

ARWEN: (As Legolas) How much does Aryante Rose charge for a quick blow behind the market stalls?

EOWYN: (As Aryante Rose) Ooh, for you that'll be two acorns!

ARWEN: *Produces acorns from pocket*

EOWYN: (As Aryante Rose) Now just lift your skirts...

ARWEN: *Pulls up dress*

EOWYN: You're not playing Legolas are you?

ARWEN: *You* said skirts. Legolas doesn't wear skirts and you know it.

EOWYN: Unlike your dad.

ARWEN: *looks pointedly at raised skirts and acorns in Eowyn's hand*

EOWYN: Umm... I'm going to go get a cold shower. I mean cold drink. Um, be right back! *runs from room*

ARWEN: She'll be back. Just about time for intermission anyway.

++Well? What do you think? Flames or no Flames are allowed if and when you can PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks
Again: THANK YOU MEGAN!!!! YOUR THE BEST!!! ++

ARWEN: Can I flame or no flame Megan for allowing this?