Tool Songfic Challenge – “Schism”

Title: Tool Songfic Challenge – “Schism”
Author: Janalynn27
Type: FPS
Pairing: Elladan/Elrohir
Rating: R
Warnings: Slash, AU, Angst
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. No disrespect is intended and no profit is being made.
Beta: Patricia Pleasant aka slayer9649, Thanks a bunch! Any other mistakes are of my making.
Summary: This was written for the Imladris_Slash yahoo group Tool songfic challenge.
Feedback: It is greatly appreciated
Author's note: I was so happy when Andrannath put up this challenge because Tool is one of my favorite bands, I listen to them a lot, especially when writing my stories and need to get in the mood for angst, so beware everyone, this songfic is full of it *hands out boxes of tissues*


Schism

I sit here in the Hall of Fire, staring at you from across the chamber. I watch as you yet again flirt with another. You long to burn our connection from your mind, thinking that you can make it disappear with your denial. My heart and soul grow heavier with every lover you take, trying to convince yourself that you can survive without me, but I know better, Elladan. I long to take you and shake you, making, no demanding, that you change your ill guided sense of duty, your thought of what a proper son of a Lord should be. If you would only let yourself see the blessing that the Valar have given us, but you refuse to. My thoughts turn to what I find myself having to do. I can no longer stay and watch you, as you give yourself to others, never me, your brother, your twin, and your other half.

I take one more, long look at you, a reflection of myself, then turn and walk from the room, possibly from you forever, if this night does not go how I hope it will. Long have I perfected the closing of our connection, knowing that I can keep you out where you cannot I, for this will be to my advantage this night if I am to turn my plans into actions, knowing full well that if you plead for me to stay before I have a chance to make my escape, I would not be able to refuse you.


//I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing,
pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
the light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.//


I enter my chambers, yes mine, for you had long ago asked for your own, separate to mine, not long after we reached our majority. That fateful night when for the first time you truly felt the connection, the bond that was just waiting for us to grasp a hold of. We had come stumbling back to our chambers from drinking and celebrating in the Hall of Fire. Once we reached our bed we fell onto it, our limbs entangled, our lips seeking the other’s. Still, can I feel the fire that flamed through my soul, searing me with its fiery talons as it reached out to grasp at your soul. We touched, kissed, moaned as desire wracked our bodies. I took you into my mouth, played you like a finely tuned harp. The music you sang as you let me hear the pleasure that I rang from you; the sweetness of it to this day has ruined my ears to all else. As you came back to yourself after I made you soar, you came crashing down and that look you gave me, my brother, haunts me till this day. The horror, the guilt in your eyes tore at me, causing me to cry out, yet you did not heed my call as you ran and locked yourself in our bathing chamber. I sat before the door, my ear pressed against it, listening, as all night you wept, my silent tears falling along with yours.

When you demanded that we have our own separate chambers, I finally realized that you were intent to deny me, to deny us, out of sense of duty. If you only knew, yet why I refuse to tell you, I still do not know. I suppose I would like you to come to me without coercion from me; that you come to me of your own free will. You think that it is your duty as the eldest of The Lord of Imladris to marry and produce an heir, that our bond is somehow wrong, but how could that be, brother, when you feel it too? Why would the Valar bless us with it if it were not to be? Elladan, if you only knew of our father and his brother, if you only knew what I know. I had, by chance, come across an old journal of our father’s. I knew that it was wrong for me to read it, for it is his personal thoughts, but I was inexplicitly drawn to it. I sat there and read, tears flowed as a tale so similar to ours was laid out before me. Father and his brother, his twin, were soul mates, yet just like you, Elros denied it, denied father. Even though he truly did love his human mate, his soul would always belong to our father. I read on, feeling kinship with our father that I never had before, finding my feelings written upon those pages. If you only knew, you would then know that our father would want us to be together, to never deny our bond. But still I stay my hand, not telling you, needing you to come to me, yet I know that through my actions tonight, I will force you to either sever our bond completely, forever, or forging it so it never will break apart.

I gather my pack, check to make sure that my note to our father lay atop my pillow, and then quit the chamber, heading to the stables with stealth, knowing that if you heard of my leaving, I would not get far. I head out through the gates, only one guard on patrol then, for I had planned well ahead, asking for his help and silence. I travel for hours, heading towards the Misty Mountains, towards the cave you and I had so often used as shelter when we traveled to and from Lothlórien.


//I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication.//


As the sky lightens, I slowly open our connection and call out to you, ‘Elladan?’

I can sense that without thought you flair out your senses to locate where I am and I feel your distress when you cannot sense my life force anywhere near. You call out to me, not able to help yourself, pleading me, begging me to tell you where I am.

‘I give you what you seek… freedom. I have left, giving you what you long for, a life away from me, a life full of duty and honor, what you strive for continually. I will not return, Elladan, my brother, and you cannot convince me to, for I cannot bear to.’

Your cry rips through my soul, reverberating through my veins, robbing me of breath. I know you feel the void that is swallowing me with every inch I move away from you. I hear the denial torn from your soul when you realize that I have been fading for some time, that you and your refusal of me have been causing the dark shroud to close ever tighter around me, until I am nearly stumbling in the dark. I can see through your eyes, see you run to my chambers, searching for me. Your eyes light upon the letter that lay addressed to our father, and you truly believe what I say is true, I am never coming back, I am gone.


//The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.//


I reach the cave, knowing that you are coming, knowing that if you yet again refuse me, that I will be no more. A tiny spark of hope still beats in my breast, yet I know that it can be so easily extinguished. I sit upon a fur thrown before the fire that I made, staring into the flames, never feeling the heat, so cold am I. I listen to you call out to me over and over, yet I can find no strength to answer.

Then you are there. I watch you coming towards me as if you were approaching a wild animal, afraid of it fleeing. You kneel before me and search my eyes, and I hear you gasp as you see how my eyes have darkened, how close I am to falling into that cold, desolate void. Hesitantly you reach out with your left hand and lace your fingers through mine, holding tightly. You whisper my name as if you were saying a prayer and tears suddenly spring from my eyes and I know now that you realize that there is no fighting what should be. Leaning forward you gently kiss my tears away, tasting them upon your lips. It is my turn to search your eyes, needing to see that you truly accept our bond, and what I see, my brother, turns that spark of hope into a roaring fire. I pull you into my arms and our lips meet in a fiery kiss, touching and tugging on our clothing until we lie skin to skin. Moans and cries fill the cavern and yet I do not bring us to the place that we both want to go. You search my eyes and know that it must be you that claims me, you that has to meld our souls together. Too long have you denied us, too long that even now I still have my doubts, and you do not blame me.


//There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know the dangers of a second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication//


Quickly you prepare me, for we both were in a desperate need to be whole. Thrusting into me, we both cry out as a fire races through our veins, searing us, binding us together for all time. Tears fall as we feel whole for the first time, the bond melding together stronger than mithril. The glow of our skin is nearly blinding, our thoughts, souls, body, and hearts are forever woven into one thread. We move as one in wild abandon, our bodies slick with sweat as we climb ever higher until we were soaring, freefalling, landing together.


//cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion//


We lay there, our bodies entangled as we slowly regain our breaths. The peace we both finally feel settles over us as a comforting blanket. Suddenly, we feel another touch our minds and we gasp and stare into each other’s eyes.

‘My beautiful sons, finally you accept what I have, for so long, wanted you both to have. Yes, I have known from your birth of your bond, and so many times have I wanted to talk to you, give you my blessing, but I knew that you both needed to find your own way. My happiness for you two knows no bounds, for you truly are brothers, lovers, and destined soul mates.’

//between supposed lovers
between supposed brothers.//


Tears fall from our eyes as our Adar slowly withdraws his touch. We cling to one another, basking in our bond, knowing that this was truly meant to be.


//And I know the pieces fit.//